Chapter three

"Hi" Nora said as she opened the door to the room,to find Brenda on their worn out sofa texting away on her phone.Brenda who doesn't keep a stable hair color got up and headed towards her room.

They shared a tiny studio apartment and differentiated each room with curtains, kept a sofa in the middle of the room serving as their mini parlor,then they had a kitchen and a small toilet which they shared.

"He's asleep!"Brenda spoke as she entered her room leaving Nora at the door.

Going into her room, Nora met Carl on the material she called bed sleeping softly, placing the bag she brought from the grocery store on the ground. She sat down next to him, staring at his sweet face.

She has always wondered what his father looked like,and wondered what he was doing or how rich he was.

Not being able to remember much from that night,other than the smell of his pheromones, thinking about it was doing things to her.nobody should still be able to have that much hold on someone even after all these years.

She just wished she could call someone for help,her whole life fell apart the moment she decided she was keeping the baby.

No family, doesn't even know if she has any siblings.

Nora lived in foster care most of her life before running away,never having a permanent place. She came to New York City, seeing as it was one of the biggest cities in New York, hoping to find a job and make a place for herself there.

Not wanting her thoughts to turn into regret,she picked up her phone from inside the blue bag she carries to work.

"Job…I need to find a better job…any kind of job as long as it pays well"

Saying to herself she opened the G****e app and typed how to apply for an office job with no degree"

Who was she kidding,there was no way any reasonable company would hire someone without a degree and a lady for that,she can't do handy jobs.

"God I'm so pathetic"

She whispered silently not wanting Brenda to hear her as tears gathered in her eyes.

"I have to make a life for my baby,he needs things, things I'd never be able to afford"

She didn't want her baby to have the kind of life she did this time, unable to help herself, her tears came running down her cheeks, wiping it away aggressively. She stood up to open a box that held all her baby's clothes both old and new, small and big, noticing that his little uniform needed changing, she cried harder.

Unable to stop herself she laid on the ground gathering her body together,she cried, pouring out all the emotions she's been trying to hold together,all the bad days she's had and all the ones she'd have,she cried,not caring that her sobs were getting a little loud,she just wanted to let it all out because she was tired of bottling it up,tired of acting like everything would be better,when she knows it never might.

Nora didn't know how long she cried for till she fell asleep,only to be woken up by Carl's little voice.

"Mommy!"

Sitting up to answer him she felt her cheeks were still wet from the tears she had cried earlier wiping them quickly,she sat upright,

"Hi baby"

Smiling at Carl who came down from the bed and went into her embrace,

"I miss mommy"

Trying to stifle the new tears that were threatening to fall she replied,

"yeah?How much?"

"This much" Carl replied opening his little arms as wide as they could go, showing his teeth in a little smile,Nora chuckled as she tickled him and teased him 

"Tiny man, tiny love"she said

"Nooo,tiny man..uhh big love,cause I love mommy more than my hand goes!"

Carl argued,this time laughing because he knew his mom was teasing him.soon he got tired of arguing and was hungry.

"Mom, I'm hungry."

He told her in his little voice still in her embrace,

"Okay little man,I got pizza on my way from work,you cool with that?"

Nora asked as she picked the grocery bag from the ground,

"Yay pizza!!"he replied excitedly

"Go grab your plate honey" Nora said to him,

Carl stood up excitedly and went to grab his tiny plate that was laying on the ground in the kitchen, bringing it to Nora who placed a slice of pizza on his plate, holding another one to her mouth,she stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a cup for Carl so she could pour him some orange juice she got from the store.

"Mommy!! Can I have another slice?"

Carl said as he walked into the kitchen to meet his mom who was trying to rinse his cup.

"Sure honey,eat as much as you want so you could love me big!" Nora replied with a light chuckle when she heard Carl laugh at what she said.

"I'll always love you big mommy,even if I don't have two slices of pizza!" He replied loudly running back into their room, making Brenda that was in the other side of the room chuckle lightly,

"The boy sure loves you"

Brenda said loudly for all to hear before whispering underneath her breath,

"I wonder why?".

Nora, who didn't hear that, just smiled as she joined Carl on the ground where he was munching on the pizza.

"Here have some juice baby"

She told him as she poured him a little, before rubbing his head, feeling like the contact was not enough she bent down a bit to kiss his forehead, making Carl chuckle,

"Mom!!"

"I just love you baby"she said almost breaking down in tears,

"Ahwoyoutoomommy" he said with his mouth full,

"I know sweet..I know".

Nora said as she watched him eat loosing her own appetite.