Chapter 4

Towards the End of June Currently

"I do not wish to carry out these instructions." They are the very first words that have come out of my mouth since I woke up this morning. Not for the first time, but I will say them again:

But I'm holding out hope that they'll make a difference this time.

Dad has completed parking in a parallel fashion. Although he is quite skilled at it, I've never been able to master it myself. The concept of pulling in backwards in general gives me the creeps. It's a blessing in disguise that I passed my driver's exam.

After he turns off the engine and lets out a sigh — one of the many he's let out over the course of the past several weeks — he then gives his response. "Emily, it's for the best in the long run. It's possible that you can't see it right now, but it's still true. I… That couldn't have come at a better time. We can't avoid it any longer. It's hard for me to tell whether he's attempting to persuade himself or me here.

Yet, considering that this was the longest string of words he has spoken to me in one go since "the event," it's possible that this constitutes development. Words had never felt so taxing to him in the past, despite the fact that he never spoke much anyhow (his mother was always the talkative one).

They are currently suffering terrible pain.

I feel terrible about what I've done to him. That the woman who was the love of his life passed away as a result of a dumb aneurysm, and now the daughter who was so adored by her mother, is shattering him anew. Is he curious about what sort of opinion she would have? She was probably wishing that she had to deal with this instead of him.

Are you under the impression that she is incapable of making such a monumental error? Perhaps, even worse, I worry that he sometimes thinks it would have been better if they hadn't adopted me. Perhaps if he had a real daughter, she wouldn't have messed up as horribly as I did if she had been her father's daughter.

"I have a terrible fear." My gaze abruptly shifted downward, drawn to the object on my lap. within the tangle of the blue denim that makes up my jeans.

Another one of these. "Me too, dolcezza. "

I can't help but glance in his direction. I haven't been his honey in years. I'm not entirely sure whether it was my fault or his; I thought it made me sound like a child, but he never pushed it in any direction. Since a very long time ago, he has not pushed anything. To this point.

Again mumbling, "the proper thing," he climbs out of the vehicle. "C'mon, now. Let's go in. "

I startle when the door slams shut behind me. So I get out of the car and follow him into the office of the attorney who he believes will get my ex-boyfriend sentenced to jail for the crime he committed.

"Well, according to Jason Richter, Emily has been lying about how old she is. The fact that she lied to him and told him she was eighteen. Her close pals have testified that she has been bragging about her new partner. About the depth of her affection for him. According to more than one of them, she informed them that she did not want anyone else to meet him at this time. So despite the fact that Mr. Richter wanted to meet her friends, she still desired to have some time alone with him for the time being.

"He is considerably older than she. It can't be denied that he lied. The fact that Emily fabricated lies about them being unable to meet him was nothing more than a typical child's prank.

Our lawyer sighs, in the Edwarde manner that Dad has been so fond of doing as of late. "That's very clear to me, Mr. Kojomie. I do, but you have to consider it from a different vantage point. They will hear from us that she lied in the past, but we will request that they believe her now. Because of this, she cannot be relied upon. That does not look good considering that all of her friends have told the Edwarde tale, and Mr. Richter has stated that she lied to him.

"We have a girl who's lied," the lawyer says. "We have a girl who's lied."

“But—” Mr. Rogers is speaking, but Dad interrupts him. Mr. Rogers holds up his hand.

"Let me play the role of the devil's advocate here. There is a young lady here who has confessed to telling lies. Who began behaving in an odd manner in front of her pals.

"Her mother had passed away." This time around, Dad does not allow himself to be sidelined. "It has to be taken into consideration in some way."

It's possible that she lied about her age to impress a boy as a result of this, as well. As he continues, the lawyer nearly has a sad expression on his face. "They can very easily say that she spent months with Mr. Richter in secret because she didn't want him to find out how old she really was.

This was because she didn't want him to find out how old she really was. We have the testimony of her previous lover, Darren, who claims that she stopped calling him and then flaunted Mr. Richter, bragging about her new boyfriend. Which, once more, they will say is evidence that she was aware of who he was. She has been mysterious. Lied repeatedly, and that is what people are going to concentrate their attention on.

And I had. In order to be with Jason, I'd lied about a number of things.

"We also have a case of a country bumpkin who made it big. The youngster from the rough neighborhood who put in a lot of effort and made it to the minor leagues despite having a convicted felon for a parent.

That is correct. Because of Mom and the way that I dealt with my friends after she passed away, it's possible that I somehow deserve this. Even before Jason, I began to distance myself.

"If I may be completely candid with the two of you, I'm not sure we could achieve a conviction. It's not that I wouldn't give it a shot. I'm saying it won't be easy; in fact, it might not even be possible. After a brief moment, he turns his attention to me. "What I'm trying to imply is that they are going to make use of any minor flaw they can find to tarnish your reputation.

What I'm trying to express is that people will talk negatively about you. Before we make a decision to visit that location, I want to be sure that it is something that you actually want to do.

Mr. Rogers adjusts his glasses by lifting them higher on his nose as he leans back in his chair. "Can you do this, Emily?"

No, no I can't. “Daddy?” I face my father as I turn around. At this point, it is I who will be utilizing a name that has been unknown to us for such a significant amount of time.

"I'll give you guys a minute. " The iconic children's television host Mr. Rogers gets up and leaves the room. Dad's eyes never leave mine. The number of creases is significantly higher than it was previously. Circles of darkness And it appears that they are broken. I feel like such a broken person, and it kills me to think that I'm the one who caused him to feel this way. that I observed a young boy hiding behind him.

That I had sexual activity and became pregnant at the age of sixteen. So despite the fact that it makes him really uncomfortable, he is required to deal with all of this crap since he is all that I have. Because they chose to adopt me despite my terrible behavior, and because I let them down so badly. Even more than that, I feel bad for Mom because it's possible that she could still be with us if I'd just given her some space to relax and if we hadn't argued so much.

I feel terrible that he has to look at me and question whether or not I am the one telling lies. Is it really the case that I am the one who deceived Jason, and not the other way around?

“God. ” Dad is hunched over, leaning his elbows on his knees, and burying his face with his hands. After being silent for a few minutes, his shoulders start moving up and down in rapid succession. Both have their consequences. My eyes begin to well up as well, and the tears run down my cheeks like a game of follow the leader.

"Emily, I'm at a loss for what to do here. I am completely at a loss on what to do. What ought to be done. How to put a stop to it.

What he really intends to ask is how I can correct my mistake. How to make me better.

"I'm sure your mom knows how to handle this situation. If she had been here at the time, I really doubt that something like this would have taken place.

This indicates that I made a monumental error. The deceptions that brought us to this point. Why on earth did I ever put my faith in Jason? How could I have been so thick as to buy into all of his rehearsed sincerity? Why wasn't it possible for me to lean on my other pals instead? "I just want to make it go gone," she said. I want to put it out of my mind.

Forget him. I just want it to be better. " I don't care that my Chuck Taylors are definitely going to get dirt on the chair as I pull my knees to my chest and hug them. "Why can't we simply put this whole thing behind us? I can't…" The words are stuck in my throat like a ball, and I can't seem to get them out. My tears had soaked through to the knees of my jeans. "Could you please, Daddy? Please just let me forget about it all. "

“Shh. It's okay, dolcezza. " The back of my head is being cradled by my father's hand. His arms completely encircle me. "Quiet, we'll just pretend like it never took place. That won't be a problem. I won't force you to face the consequences of the charges. It's finished. "

I’m so glad when he says that. Nevertheless, Dad has it all wrong. So wrong.

It’s only just started.

"You seem happier. " Ellie gives me a thumbs-up.