CHAPTER 2: Bring Back Memories

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HANNAH FELICIANO

“I Promise.” He mentioned it for how many times.

After the settled argument which made Lolo Claro swear in front of us, Nanny Rose went to the market to sell rice cakes.  Nanny was still strong, and selling rice cakes was our bread and butter apart from Lolo Claro’s part-time in the construction site as a foreman. My nanny was really dedicated to her life as a rice cake vendor, she even inherited that recipe and even the skill from her late mother and it something that I was really proud of. Her recipe was not just made with the original ingredients but with her pure and genuine love. She usually hummed every time she cooks, and she dances in front of it like she was doing her ritual to make every piece more delicious. Then, when she was done, and putting them on her basket, she always murmured an orison which was I guess, very effective because all rice cakes would be sold out in no time.

Lolo Claro, at that time, had no job. He was, indeed, on call duty and he was waiting for another project to arrive. He was a frustrated engineer. He was really good in designing, possessed spatial intelligence, and he was really good, I saw him discussing something before and I knew he would be the best engineer if he hadn’t deprived the education he deserved. But well, it’s already too late for school but not really late to do what he really wanted to do. Well, as a matter of fact, he was really a good grandpa or should I say father, the moment a while back didn’t define him. For sure, it was peer pressure, he was coerced to join and it would never fall to addiction. I was sure and certain about that.

As usual, nanny always left a piece of rice cakes on the table for my breakfast and while taking it, I was reminded how I blessed I was for tasting the best rice cake in the world and having a great grandparents. After a while, when I looked at the clock, I saw that it was already time to take a bath, because I would be meeting my best friends which happened to be my classmates and I had no time explaining things because for sure, I will be late again and that time, I didn’t tolerate tardiness again.

***

“Where are you?” Roz phoned.

“I am almost there.” I answered while crossing my finger because I knew that I was lying. Well, that was really my lifelong problem, always late.

I didn’t actually wanted to stay by the adage, “it’s better to be late than never” because I always found myself justifying my intolerable act. But it was always happening and it was something I had to fix seriously especially at that time, we would be visiting clinic and mental institutions for our internship. Of course, I was grown-up woman, and no one would allow me to stay if I was always late. So, at that time, I promised to myself not to be late again. That time, I believed that there was promises need to be kept.

I went out, running and waiting for the bus to arrive in the terminal. I was consistently tapping my right foot to the ground as a sign of not boredom but anxiety because for sure, Roz and Lexy would be mad at me. So, when the bus arrived, I hopped in but an incident delayed everything. The man before me was having a fight with the driver, I really didn’t know what was happening, and that’s why I intercepted. Even just a touch from my hand to any part of their body, everything will be fixed. Madness will be gone. Irritation will be changed. Sadness would fade away and harmony and love would reign above all else. When peace resided between them, the problem solved and the bus was moving at once.

When I reached my destination, the two looked really as though they wanted to kill me and since, they knew about my power, the decided not to be touched by me and just felt the anger a little longer. But since, they couldn’t really avoid me, like I used to do, I chased after them.

Every time I touched people, they don’t forget the problem, the situation was still there but their emotion turned into something good. It was not like if I touch them they would forget everything; my power was just solely about emotion and feelings. At first, I thought I could really turn everything around. When I started to know that I had this ability, I began to wish that certain situation in my life could be changed according to my will but I realized that I was not capable to change what happened but at least I could try to help them face the situation by calming the storm within them.

“Is that Jordan?” Lexy asked.

When I averted my gaze unto him, my validation was correct. It was Jordan. He was my ex. He was my first love and he was the first person who broke my heart after my parents died.

Jordan Delavin, that’s his name. He courted me back when I was in High school but since then, I was not yet ready. I told him to stop but he was so persistent. He even walked me by home. He even tried to do things I couldn’t imagine. The reason why I fell for him apart from the fact that he was persistent, kind and cool, we had the same situation. His parents died too. After telling his story, I started to have this profound connection and I thought we would really understand each other. He was the first person I fell in love with, completely, thoroughly and wholeheartedly. I found nothing to be turned off and everything about him was so perfect.

Until one day, when were in college, first-year high school. I grew fond of him. My adoration for him became bigger which I could not contain anymore and I had to tell him my feelings right away. On the top of our school, that day I disclosed my feeling and I even told him about my ability to heal people’s emotional wounds. That was the most memorable day of my life, the day I would never forget.

Like any other relationship, it started good. As a matter of fact, I offered him to heal his wounds, the pain he had about his parents’ death and he concurred. His pain turned into relief and he loved me even more. Nonetheless, as time passed by, he changed. I was asking him the reason why he changed but he told that he was still the same Jordan I knew. But I was certain that there was something wrong about him. Then, I tried to observe him, but eventually I threw my suspicion away, and to trust him more about everything. But I couldn’t take anymore and we talked.

“Do you still love me?” A question full of mixed emotions.

“I don’t know Hannah. I just really don’t know.” He said.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Again, like the usual breaking-up scene, I was asking if I did something wrong, or I didn’t do anything he was expected me to do or did he find another girl. I just ran out of reasons but he was still reluctant to tell me the whole truth. I begged. I even touched his hand but he pushed me away.

“Your power.” He said.

“Why? What about my power?”

Jordan thought that I used my power to make him fall in love with me. That was really ridiculous. In the first, he fell in love with me first and he was even persistent to push courting me even though, I wasn’t yet ready. And that time, he utilized my power as an excuse because he was falling out of love. I just cried. I could not accept the fact that he was blaming me for what’s happening to him. He said that he was really confused; he didn’t know what to do. Well, I knew where that conversation going, so help him establishing the question.

“So, are you breaking up with me?” I asked boldly.

Of course, he was coward and he didn’t even nod. He said that he needed time for himself to figure things out. He needed more time to ponder about his situation. Then, I gave what he needs – freedom.

“Okay, let’s stop it here.”

I knew, deep within me, there was like an unseen force telling me to do what’s right for the situation. And that time, he wanted to free himself from me as if he were a captive. Then, I didn’t let him walk out; I had to be the one walking away from him. It was hard. It was tough. The pain was still there. It was still fresh because that break-up just happened a week ago.