JADE'S POVAll my life I've never slept away from this house, not once and even when we were kids and both mom and dad had work emergencies that kept them and Gran had to babysit, she always came over to the house, not the other way around.All my sleepover happened within the walls of my house, with my friends coming over and me never going over to theirs to sleep and it's what I grew up accepting.Well, I guess that's why it feels weird every damn time I think about staying over at Ches' place tonight.After what happened this evening, all I really want is to be away from this house for once, to breath air so far away that it can't possibly be the same everyone here is breathing.And as far as I can get is Ches' place so I chose there.The only thing I carry with me is my phone, sticking it into my back pocket and then some money in case thing don't turn out exactly as I've planned.I wait patiently for everyone to go into their rooms so I sneak out, because I'm technically grounded,
JADE'S POV Every single suspicion I had that Matt, like Caden, is from money gets totally confirmed the moment his car rolls through the gates of his magnificent looking house.It's beautiful and looks almost like Caden's, except for the welcoming warmth that surrounds this one, it's windows bright and showing rooms that people actually live in.It's a lot darker and emptier at Caden's, always has been since his mom, and sometimes I worry about how lonely it must be for him living in that mansion all by himself......Maybe that's why he glues himself to his friends and acquaintances, hosts these outrageous parties and keeps his girlfriend with him all the time.The word girlfriend twists my gut because that's what he claimed me to be earlier today, in front of everyone, yet here I am.Imagining being a real girlfriend to him fills my insides with fuzzy feelings and a lightness I know I shouldn't be getting, so I stop myself and focus on Matt instead."Welcome to my home, pancakes."He
JADE'S POVOlivia, Matt's baby sister, is the cutest, little thing ever and when I leave here tomorrow, I know I'm going to miss her the most.I know we've met before at the one recital I went with Matt to, but she still takes me by awe with her entrancing cuteness and joyous energy fit for five.It doesn't take rocket science to see that it runs in the family, starting from his ever smiling mom and his dad that I only saw in pictures because he's currently out of town on a business trip.Cradling her small body to mine, I position my phone right so we can both get a better view of the animation playing on it.She'd insisted on sticking with since since she found out I was sleeping over and at this point too, I've even scored myself a must honour invite to her recital and ballet practices.I wish I can just steal her away sometimes and have all of her over brimming love and attention to myself away from my very opposite and over bearing family......"Are you my brother's girlfriend?"S
JADE'S POVFalling asleep in a house that's not mine, no matter how comfortable and warm it is in its welcome, I realise, is difficult for me and no matter what I try, I find it impossible to slip into the sweet arms of the oblivion that is sleep.I toss and turn in the queen sized, poster bed I imagine brings quick sleep to its owner night after night with all that lush softness and a kind of fluffiness that my bed lacks and I wish that it'll just work its magic and grant me the same fate this once.But everything just seems frustratingly futile, so I just lie there, drowning inside the silence of the night.I reach around the bed blindly cause I'm too lazy to go on the light instead, searching for my phone, at least that's one trusted company that'll stay with me until I can finally wear myself out enough to fall asleep.But just as I try to click it on, I realise my battery is flat and the situation is even more peachy, note the sarcasm, because I didn't bring a charger with me when
JADE'S POVHe returned from his closet fully dressed, and I imagine the whole pajama get up, buttoned to the top and all, is for my benefit.Knowing Matt like I do, it's obvious he really doesn't want to do anything that will bother me and I respect him a little bit more for it.He even had the decency to look surprised to see me still in his room when he returned and he teased about how I must really hate spending my late night without my phone."I was hoping I'll fall asleep watching something but the stupid thing just had to go and die on me."I whine, scooting over a distance for him to join me on his bed, even though it's a standard king sized bed and can comfortably contain the both of us without me moving an inch.I guess it's just the awkwardness of being with him like this for the first time and the share intimacy of the situation without any added effort that's causing me to be like this and I just hope he doesn't notice it.Scooting a bit again in the opposite direction from
JADE'S POV I came to school this morning to find the word "whore" boldly spray painted on my blue colored locker in bright red paint.And every fucking person in that hallway just stood there, shamelessly gawking at it and laughing......again.God, for once I just wish I can snap a finger, blink an eye or do something, anything and things will change back to the way they used to be.Yeah, I said it, I wish I can just go back to the times when no one knew my name and Ches was all i had and we had our own little table at the end corner of the cafeteria, away from the rest if these nut jobs.I just want the times when I had a semblance of peace and quiet and a slice of my sanity too because I'm beginning to loose it honestly.The stupid tears won't stop coming, so I remain in the janitors closet I'd crawled into earlier to hide from the mocking students.Liz has gone far with her parlor tricks and notes and threats, and I just wish I have even the smallest piece of proof that she's my to
JADE'S POV"Are you okay?"I've heard this question like a gazillion times in the space of this week and to all of them I've smiled and lied and claimed to be okay, but right now, that answer eludes me.I'm not okay, how can I be when this kind of shit keeps happening, how can I be when being here is slowly becoming a hell loop for me.This isn't even the worst thing that's happened to me here, yet it feels like the most invasive, like I was just offensively strip searched."Did you find a note?"Caden asks from behind me, peering into my locker from above my head, trying to figure out what it is I found that has me so ashen and distraught.Well, in this case it's what I didn't find."There's no note Caden." I sigh in dejectedly, my temples drumming st my temple suddenly presenting itself and hurting."Then what's the pr......""Your book is missing." I snap, cutting him off.Just like everything else between us in recent times, the words hang between us, as if untrue, maybe not unders
Then why do you act like it every time I so much as come close to you. You've been tense since coming in here, like you're scared I'll bite."I try to deny his accusation but the words wont just come."Matt...."I whisper, even though I imagined his name sounding more firm and sure before I said it."Just say it's a lie, pancakes, tell me you've not flinched every single time I came close and even now when you did force yourself to close the distance, you are so stiff it's like I'm physically hurting you.""I'm just not used to the company." I say in my defense."What do you mean?"He asks, showing genuine interest in my troubles, something I've looked for for a while now.I try to explain to him that it's not him but me, that I've not been this close with anyone in my life and it feels a kind of foreign and weird.I mean, I shared a suite with Caden but we never shared each other's bed, so doing it now, with him, it just sets off my default panic.But the words to explain just wont c
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
JADE'S POV I try hard not to look at him differently, not to feel so much hurt on his behalf and not blame myself so much for not being there when he needed someone the most, but it's sooo fucking difficult not to, not after listening to everything he just said.I had no idea all he'd gone through, alone and now all the times I spent hating his guts and resenting him seems a waste and stupid.Every day, I imagined he was enjoying his super perfect life, looking down his nose at the rest of us measely teens but his life had been anything but perfect.It'd been all bright on the outside and yet very dark, lonely and hollow on the inside that it must have been so fucking difficult.Somehow, I'm glad I skipped school today and is spending the day with him, a weak attempt at making up for lost times and a silent apology for....everything.Silently, I'm grateful that his book went missing because he would never have told me any of this if it hadn't, though I hope to hell and back that it do
CADEN'S POV Richard was a portly man, a little too young to be imagined a close friend of my dad's and always overly excited with his beady eyes and warm hugs.......but I don't tell her this.I don't say a word about how I hate the smell of musk and spice to this day because of him and I don't mention how terrifying I find anything served unsealed or in a glass.I dont say shit to her anymore than I already did because even that is too fucked and too much to dump on someone.There's no point burdening her with the whole story now of how he'll come home from work early every other day, always glad when he finds me home alone.He'll always smile like he's the good guy and ask how school was, even though I never bother to answer any of his questions. All I wanted at that point in my life was for my mom to not be.....gone and for my dad not to always be gone, not some man always prying into my business every now and again.Her sobbing, faint now but still there, racking through her petit
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
JADE'S POV I can't believe he liked me back then, almost as much as I like him and said nothing.All those years ago and he'd let some stupid thing he heard me tell Ches out of resignation ruin all of it for both of us.I mean, she and I had been what we thought of as pretty obvious in our crush on him, she, the more obsessed one and me, more the best friend that knows for sure that she'll never have the guy but he'd not once seen through any of it?Wow, I can see now why most people would easily agree that most guys can be so fucking clueless, annoyingly so, when they want to be."So when you returned, started a new school and found out I was there, why didn't you try to talk to me about it, or say something at least? Why did you just continue ignoring me, barely answering my greetings and rolling only with your new circle of popular friends?"He has the decency to look sorry about that, like he just realised now too how much of a bitch hindsight can be."I'd just gotten out of very