Chapter 1

Silence enveloped between us. I questioned myself, why did I end up coming here? Why am I hoping that she'll agree to my offer?

Who was I kidding? I'm just deceiving myself that she'll pity me because she's also a woman. But I was wrong. I forgot that she was as rotten as potatoes. Her rotten attitude can be smelled already. She was a gold digger bitch and a mistress of the town. I don't even understand why Atlas chose her as his mistress.

“If you have nothing left to say, you can leave,” she said with distaste.

‘Fuck them!’

Fuck them for hurting me. For treating me like trash and for stealing the only thing that kept me sane. Respect. Because I felt like I've been deprived of that. They stole the little respect that I had for myself.

The things you do for love. You can take all the pain even if the cycle's repetitive. You can suffer. You can even swallow your own ego. A martyr's love. It hurts. . . a lot.

My chest contracted from the thought. It seeped through my soul, travelling like it was slowly pulling me out of the reality that I was very much aware of for a long time, but I stayed blind.

“Now, go!”

I ended up nodding. Even if I'm slowly crumbling up inside, I still retained my strong and strict aura, walking straight outside her office with my head held high. 

I am Olive Trinidad-Ramirez. A well-known Psychiatrist in the Metro. A daughter of a good senator. A successful woman that screamed confidence and wealth. No one should know my pain. 

Noise filled my ears when I got out. Trina's cafe has a lot of customers. I wondered if her coffee tasted bitter. Or maybe just like her, it was cunning too. 

I shrugged the thoughts off and sighed to continue my pace. I stumbled upon a woman with a dog. A Pomeranian dog. 

My brows raised. Wearing pajamas while roaming around the place was weird. Even more so when I heard her talk to the dog. I shook my head.

I finally got to my car. A red Ducati Veyron. I quickly opened it using the remote key and entered. I heaved a sigh after I got inside, slumping my back against the chair.

My Dad gave me this car as a gift for my success as a representative of the Philippines for women empowerment in India. I spoke as a woman with happiness and light. A thing that's completely opposite from my life and from who I am.

While driving back to South Ridge Village, I can't help but to look around. The wide and elegant clubhouse was at the center of the village, behind it was a big swimming pool for the owners who wanted to unwind.

The village was huge and exclusive for rich and famous people. It had four different streets and each block consisted of two storey glass walled houses. Each screamed luxury and wealth while maintaining the environment more nature-like because of the big trees in front of the houses. 

I smiled bitterly at a sudden thought. I remembered our meeting earlier. The fake smiles and laughs. The voices they force to sound firm and normal. Somehow, I felt we were alike. I also have secrets that I don't want everyone to know.

Women could hide their pain for the longest of time. They could always pretend to be strong and happy, that even if they're hurting, they would still smile. That's one quality women had that awed me. Women who hides their pain just like me.

I arrived at my house. I quickly pressed its automatic lock from my car and it opened. What greeted me was a single storey minimalist style house. There's.a small garden at the sides and a not-so-big terrace at the front. All were so peaceful for my eyes. Peaceful and clean. The only scenery that calms me down. There's a veranda surrounded by hanging plants, while beside it was my collection of succulents.

I slumped on my couch after I entered the house. I leaned my back against the backrest and stared at the ceiling. I massaged my temple slightly and closed my eyes. The place was so quiet. Only the wind chimes can be heard.

I stayed at the position for some time before deciding to change my clothes. My house was very simple. There's a small living room connected to a small kitchen, two separate rooms, one guest room and Altas' gym room. I do have a mini liquor room, too. I often drink alone to forget and to numb myself.

After a while, I quickly changed my clothes when I went inside my room. Wearing a short and a white top, I scanned myself in the mirror. I smiled at the frame. My bob cut hair was starting to get long. I was petite physically and white in complexion. Some said, I looked like a teen but I was actually twenty-eight years old. 

Who would have thought that after all I got through, I haven't turned into a crazy, lunatic woman? After all my suffering, I still took care of myself. I was good at everything. And maybe, I already mastered the act of pretending. 

A doorbell snapped my thoughts. I quickly walked towards the door and looked at the monitor. My forehead creased when I realized that it was one of my neighbors.

I don't have friends in the village so I didn't really expect it. I was asocial. Besides from the fact that I give off a strict aura, they're all cautious towards me. Maybe because I was rich, or maybe, they simply didn’t like me. 

But even so, I still opened the gate. The woman smiled awkwardly at me, which made me raise my brows. Add to that her face was filled with makeup.

“How are you, Doctor? This is for you,” she said while smiling.

The eyes mirrored the soul. She was smiling but I could see her sadness. Why did I have to see those sorrowful eyes? Sometimes, I regret taking psychology.

I could see pain. I could feel it. Even in other people. I'm just a masochist towards Atlas that I kept on pushing those thoughts aside.

I shook my head at the thought. I smiled forcefully out of respect. I accepted the plastic container.

“Thank you,” I timidly replied.

“That's a grilled milkfish, Doc. I made too much so I decided to give you some. And I want to introduce myself to you, too. I'm Mina,” she said shyly and offered her hand.

I smiled. A genuine one. This was the first time someone took the courage to introduce herself to me. I don't really talk with my co-hostesses. This was my first time and I was thankful, even if her smile was sad.

“Olive Ramirez,” I answered and accepted her hand. “Come in, Mina!” I added.

“Uh, no need.” She shook her head and withdrew her hand. She looked around, eyes wavering. She then smiled and bid goodbye.

I sighed as I walked inside the house. I went to the kitchen to prepare food for dinner. I put Mina's dish in a small Pyrex.

My kitchen was small. It was painted with white, as was the furniture. There were drawers surrounding the kitchen while there's an electric oven at one spot. There's also a small table and a chair where I sit to rest while cooking. There was also a four door refrigerator near the doorway. 

Cooking was one of my passions aside from reading minds. I'm good at cooking any dish. I cooked bulalo for our dinner. I also added pandan leaf for our rice too, for a good taste and aroma. 

They said a way to a man's heart was through his stomach but Atlas was an exception. Because even if I cook the most delicious dish, inside the ten years of commitment, his feelings for me never changed. It was saddening, but I had to accept my fate. 

“What did you tell Trina, Olive?!” 

I snapped out of my thoughts. It was quickly replaced with shock when I saw Atlas barged into the kitchen door. His eyes were piercing through me. His strides were longer while walking towards me.

“Answer me!” he shouted in front of me and gripped my arm tightly.

“Atlas, it hurts!” I grunted, but Atlas seemed to be deaf of my pleas. He's deaf to my scream and cries. He's been deaf of me for a long time. He's deaf to everything because of his anger towards me.

“Come here!” 

He harshly pulled me out of the kitchen. His body was built well and he was stronger than me, and so he managed to do it with ease. His grip was so tight that I'm sure it'll leave a mark.

“Atlas! Stop! Please. . .” I begged when he threw me off the bed. “It hurts!” 

"You'll really get hurt! This is what you want, that's why you married me. You want me, right?” My eyes widened at what I witnessed. Atlas was stripping in front of me. He took off his clothes impassively and hurriedly went on top of me.

I cried as he claimed me for his own satisfaction. Moving in and out like I was some random pornstar. 

“No. . .” I whispered.

This was my life. I chose this. But why was I still not used to it? 

The inevitable pain gushed through me. I was alive but I was dying inside.