LOVE LIKE ROSES (Claire's POV)

People would ask when I found out I am in love with you and I would sigh because it didn't happen at once. It happens in bits, from the countless studies in the library, to when you first asked me on our first date, you were nervous, you were shy, you acted weird the whole of that day when we studied in the library.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore, what's up Justin?" I asked when I was tired of your awkward behavior and you were being distant. "You are acting so weird today, is there anything wrong? Trouble at home?" I asked frustrated about your awkwardness and the thought of the fact that I had maybe done something wrong to screw up the great thing we got going.

You had told me about how your dad and mum were on the verge of getting a divorce, I had told you about how my parents were killed before me, it was astonishing how we could be vulnerable to each other and didn't struggle with that. I liked the fact that there wasn't sympathy in your eyes when I told you about the rough turns my life had taken since I lost my parents. All I could see was empathy, you were in every sense of the word compassionate towards me.

"Hmm," you said trying to clear your throat, I wasn't sure exactly what it was that you wanted to say but found it so hard to say.

"Claire," you whispered gently, I don't know why you whispered, maybe it was because we were at the library but I felt every breath that came out of you when you said my name. I have come to love how you said my name.

"Yes," I replied.

"I will like to take you out,"  you said so gently and I glared at you, I wasn't sure what it was you mean.

"Sure, where are we going," I said so casually and you frowned because you were aware, I had not understood exactly where you were coming from at this point. 

"Claire," you called out again, "I mean, I want to take you out on a date, you and I, somewhere fancy,"

I saw myself blushing and smiling so sheepishly, it was crazy how you had that effect on me, it was crazy how only you could make me feel this way I do.

I said yes and our first date was amazing, you took me to the seaside and it was because I told you how much I loved the waters and how it makes me feel so relaxed. We laughed and giggled at little things, and you told me I looked so beautiful, I wore a black knee-level gown. I went back to my dorm so excited and rushed to Lucas's room immediately to tell him. He wasn't as excited as I thought he would be.

It was strange that he was the one reason I met you but along the line somewhere he started disliking you. I wasn't sure why, maybe, you had said something to him and had maybe agitated him. I know he can be super protective of me sometimes and that can be so annoying but it is only because he sees me as a sister and wouldn't want to see me getting hurt in any way.

"Just be careful Claire," he finally said to me. But I sighed.

We kept on going on countless dates after that, to the movie, and concerts, we once took a road trip to attend The Chainsmokers' drive-in concert and it was so awesome. I loved that with all this, you were still going at a pace we were both comfortable with. We had hugged countless times, you had given me a peck, another time. But damn I wanted more, I was already eighteen and had surpassed successfully some of my teenage and youthfully exuberance. But now I was in a relationship, and I needed more than just the casual hugs and occasional peck.

So one day after one of our dates, I glared at him.

"Do you not want to go inside?" He asked after I stayed still in the car watching the gate. We were packed right in front of Jackson's residence. I had come home for the summer with Lucas and I could almost swear that Lucas was most likely peeping through the window.

"No, I don't want to," I replied with an angry tone.

"Claire," he called out, and I glanced at him. "Is anything wrong? you have been awfully silent today," he inquired and I frowned.

"Okay, what's wrong? Did you not enjoy the drive-in, what's wrong, should we think of alternative places to go next time?"

I let out an exasperated gasp, why do I have to spell out everything to him, why doesn't he automatically read through the way I read through him sometimes?

"That's not it," I muttered silently and let the grand air from the car air conditioner fall smoothly on my skin, I was a bit cold.

"Aren't you attracted to me?" It wasn't a question but I wanted him to answer me. He gazed at me, he was perplexed.

"Where is this question coming from, of course, you should know I am damn attracted to you, from day one at that library, you snatched my breath away and somehow you haven't given it back to me, till now," 

I was blushing, my cheeks turned pink, and I flustered in shame. Why does his words sound like rhythm to my ears and birds to the sound of my whisper?

"Then why haven't you kissed me?" I blurted out because the words were so heavy in my mouth but I needed to voice out, I got to witness couples everywhere we go have a lot of public displays of affection, and I get to wonder if there is something wrong with our relationship, we were both adults and to some extent, we should get to do some of these things.

Suddenly there was an uproar of laughter coming from him and everything within me went back to its shell. 

"I shouldn't have asked," I said and quickly tried to escape from his car and run to my room so I could soak my pillow in my tears of embarrassment for I had just made a fool out of myself.

He held me back and my hands froze as soon as they came in contact with his touch.

"Claire wait," he said, he was no longer laughing and his voice sounded so intense, more than it has ever done.

"I am crazily attracted to you, do you know how hard it is not to want to kiss you and do more than just kiss you, God dammit Claire aren't you aware you drive me crazy. But I recognize what we have is different and I don't want you to be like any other girl I see and want to just sleep with her and leave." He whispered silently to my ears, I could feel his hot breath on my neck and there was something about his voice that sounded hoarse, he was trying hard to not reach forward to me. But I played it hard for him and I tilted my head forward and there was almost no space between us, it was either he moves forward or goes back. 

He exhales and gently reaches for the back of my head, his hands shoving aside my hair and then moving his lips to touch mine, at first slightly as if he was waiting for a reaction from me, But I didn't react. I didn't know how to react, it was my first kiss and I was stopping my head from exploring the fact I had no kissing experience before now.

He then moved his lips closer this time adjusting his sitting position to face me more and this time I tasted his lips, they had a few leftover popcorn crumbs or I was just overthinking it. He then swallowed my mouth gently into his, tasting it, kissing it, I knew I needed to do something than just sit down there like some plywood, so I used my hands to cup around his face and accommodated his kiss conveniently, we kept kissing deeper as his tongue circled mine and his mouth enclosed in mine, it was getting intense and I could feel his hands leave the back of my head and made its way down my shoulders, gently caressing my back for a second before making its way to the front, it laid in my chest for a moment and I could feel a slight pause, hesitancy from his part and then he pulled away. I sighed because I had no will to stop him if he ever wanted to go further.

"What will you be doing tomorrow?" He asked and his lips were cupped slightly with a smile.

"Coming over to your house to continue what we just started," 

I didn't know where the hell that response came from but it sounded way more sluttier than it did in my head, I didn't sound like a girl who just had her first kiss.

"I will be delighted to have you over," 

And I smiled thankfully he still saw me as the innocent young girl and kissed me on my forehead before we departed.