Prologue

    My fingers shook like leaves in the breeze as I raised them, my heartbeat hummingbird quick. Samuel's strong hand was firm and steady as he took mine and slipped the ring onto my finger.

    White gold with twenty small diamonds.

    What was meant as a sign of love and devotion for other couples was nothing but a testament of his ownership of me. A daily reminder of the golden cage I’d be trapped in for the rest of my life. Until death do us part wasn’t an empty promise as with so many other couples that entered the holy bond of marriage. There was no way out of this union for me. I was Rico's until the bitter end. The last few words of the oath that men swore when they were inducted into the mafia could just as well have been the closing of my wedding vow:

    “I enter alive and I will have to get out dead.”

    I should have run when I still had the chance. Now, as hundreds of faces from the Italy and New York Familias stared back at us, flight was no longer an option. Nor was divorce. Death was the only acceptable end to a marriage in our world.

    

    i could still remove that day like it was yesterday. The day my father gave me to him without a warning. I still haven't gotten over that shock. Because I still couldn't believe it. I never in a million thoughts expect my father to ever do this to me at any point. There was more to this arrangement and he wasn't telling me. Nobody was telling me.

Even if I still managed to escape Samuel's watchful eyes and that of his henchmen, my breach of our agreement would mean war. Nothing my father could say would prevent Samuel's Familias from exercising vengeance for making them lose face.

    My feelings didn’t matter, never had. I’d been growing up in a world where no choices were given, especially to women.

    This wedding wasn’t about love or trust or choice. It was about duty and honor, about doing what was expected.

    A bond to ensure peace.

    I wanted to blame my father. Yes, he had done this to me. He had thrown me into the arms of this wicked Mafia man just so he could clear his debt and keep up his appearance. He didn't care about my feelings. I always thought that he loved me and would protect me forever. But he gave me off to this man without a blink of an eye. He hurt me. And I would never forget this.

    

    I wasn’t an idiot. I knew what else this was about: money and power. Both were dwindling since the Russian Mob ‘The Gante', the Taiwanese Triad, and other crime organizations had been trying to expand their influence into our territories. The Italian Familias across the US needed to lay their feuds to rest and work together to beat down their enemies. I should be honored to marry the oldest son of the Italian Familia. That’s what my father and every other male relative had tried to tell me since my betrothal to Samuel. I knew that, and it wasn’t as if I hadn’t had time to prepare for this exact moment, and yet fear corseted my body in a relentless grip.

    

    when i noticed the priest was about to ask him to kiss me, i looked down on my dress. According to the dress maker, this was the second most expensive wedding dress ever made in years. The white dress was simple but layered with real diamonds. It was so much, I lost count. 

    "if you ever get stranded and need money, just sell this gorgeous dress and you're set for life. So, don't ever leave it behind. " could still remember the joke my dress maker made the day I was testing the dress out. What did she mean that I shouldn't leave it behind? 

    The dress is completely armless, exposing most of my upper breasts. The sleeves is embroidered with lacy patterns. My eyes crosses the ring embedded on my finger again and my heart sunk.

    

         “You may kiss the bride,” the priest said.

I raised my head. Every pair of eyes in the pavilion scrutinized me, waiting for a flicker of weakness. Father would be furious if I let my terror show, and Samuel's Familia would use it against us. But I had grown up in a world where a perfect mask was the only protection afforded to women and had no trouble forcing my face into a placid expression. Nobody would know how much I wanted to escape. Nobody but Samuel. I couldn’t hide from him, no matter how much I tried. My body wouldn’t stop shaking. As my gaze met Samuel's cold gray eyes, I could tell that he knew. How often had he instilled fear in others? Recognizing it was probably second nature to him.

Samuel's eyes watched me tauntingly for a moment, as if he too were trying to read me. I didn't know how to bring myself to kiss him. Not again. Not now.

   As if he saw the hesitation in my eyes and body language, He bent down to bridge the ten inches he towered over me. There was no sign of hesitation, fear or doubt on his face before i felt his lips crash againt mine. My lips trembled against his mouth as his eyes bored into me. Their message was clear: You are mine.

   

   If I had known what was to come after making all those empty voice, if I had known the dangers of this pact I made here today, if I had known I would be suicidal after selling my soul to this devil today, then perhaps, I would have taken off when the thought first occurred to me.

   

   But I didn't just become suicidal. I fell deeply in love with my biggest mistake. And I paid for it.