CHAPTER 8: EULOGY

Chris fixed his tie as they prepare for the funeral. The wake is over and the funeral is quickly held. Some of Chris’s classmates are present and most are his parents’ colleagues. He tried hard to memorize each faces that came to his parents wake so he would know if there are new faces that would attend the funeral.

He saw Fidel approaching with 3 other people he’s not familiar with. Chris is sure that they didn’t attend the wake.

“Hello. It’s probably your first time seeing us but your parents told many good things about you, especially Melissa. She’s so proud of you.” The only woman in the group spoke, “we’re in the same team as your parents and Fidel.” Chris’ attention is quickly piqued by her words.

He immediately observed each person in the group. The woman who approached him looks a bit younger than her mother. Her short hair made her look more sophisticated and her smile is quite intimidating.

“I’m Leila Forbes,” the woman extended her hands for a handshake. Chris awkwardly shook her hand. He remembers what Henry had disclosed to him. It’s possible that there’s a double agent within their company. If they are part of their team then it’s likely that they are the double agent Henry is talking about.

It could be anyone of them, laughing deep inside. They might be thinking of how pitiful he looks right now.

“This kid is Eugene Lee.” Leila pointed the man to her right. He looks the youngest, in his mid-20’s, Chris assumed. He looks the least intimidating in the group, maybe because he’s the youngest.

“I’m not a kid!” Eugene retaliated but Leila continued teaser him by ruffling his hair.

“Hi.” Eugene greeted Chris shortly after getting away from Leila.

“You’re so boring. Anyway, this is Troy, Troy Ivan. Don’t be scared at him, that’s his resting face plus he’s just shy.” Chris perfectly understood why Leila put a disclaimer for Troy. The man is well built. A man you would be scared to approach.

Troy gave a small smile, “We’re sorry that we didn’t make it through the wake. We still had to finish some important business overseas.” He explained.

More important than your own fallen colleague?

“I understand.” Chris instantly responded. His eyes wandered a bit and saw Damien from a distance.

“By the way, Chris can I ask for a favor?” Leila asked.

“What is it?” He curiously asked.

“Can I offer my eulogy for your parents too?” Chris was surprised by her request, but they are their colleagues after all.

“Of course. Thank you for volunteering.” Chris gave another pretentious smile. He simply can’t trust them.

The ceremony started, he quietly sat and wonders what he should say for the eulogy.

“Hey, you okay?” Kurt beside him asked.

He simply nodded, “yeah. I’m just thinking of what I should say.” He answered in a low voice. Kurt patted his shoulder.

“To offer their eulogy is Melissa and Christopher’s dear son, Chris.” He took a deep breath before standing up. The host passed the mic to Chris.

Chris cleared his throat before speaking, “honestly, I couldn’t prepare for the eulogy,” he started, “I tried hard organizing my thoughts last night but I just couldn’t think of selected good memories with my parents. It’s because every moment that I spent with them is very precious to me. I’m not the perfect son and we are not a perfect family. We had our bad times, but even that is very precious to me. My mom is a very strong woman. When I was younger she used to always tell me that we should be good to people, because we don’t know what they are going through. To be good, I think is the hardest thing to do…” He paused. He’s getting affected by his own words. He cannot be good in this situation. He simply can’t accept any reasons why his parents were killed.

“My father, he did his very best to give us a good life. He would always put us first before himself. I remember him apologizing once, it was during my birthday when he cannot buy me the toy that I asked for. He spent time making a figure made of wood instead to give me as a gift. I actually loved the gift, what I’m regretting that time is I forgot to say thank you. I forgot to say how much I appreciated it even though it was not the actual thing that I asked for. Now I’m wondering, does my father know? Does he think I only played with it because I didn’t want to upset him? There’s so many things that I could’ve said to them but I was too shy to do so. I hope that wherever they are, they would know that they did a great job being a parent to me.” He finished his speech and went back to his seat.

Kurt patted his back, he’s been a witness on how much Chris loves his parents.

Leila then stood to give her eulogy.

“Melissa and Christopher have been my workmate for a while but more than that, they are good friends to me. Melissa helped me when I’m on my lowest, like what his son said, she can see the good to everyone. We’re not blood related but she treated me as her younger sister. Because of her, I was able to smile again. Christopher is as supportive, he’s very loyal. He treats our team as family. It’s…” Leila paused and wiped the tears forming in her eyes, “It’s really unfortunate that they left early. But the people who knew them well would live on, with good memories of them.

Chris realized that they spent a lot of time with their team. Chris didn’t know anything about them because his parents never mentioned them but they did have a strong bond based on Leila’s words.

Chris felt anger welling in his chest. If Henry’s speculation is true, then his parents were killed by the same people they trusted so much, people that are important to them. He suddenly hoped that it is not the case, because it’s the hardest to digest.

“Sorry, that I couldn’t heed your advices mom.” He mumbled as he offered flower to his mother. He then went to his father and offered flowers too.

“I promise to find them and avenge you no matter what.” He didn’t shed a tear. He already conditioned himself to not cry today. He chose not to shed tears while seeing them off. He didn’t want to give further heartache to his parents.

People are wondering why the only son didn’t even shed a tear, despite the eulogy, Chris didn’t look like grieving. All the time, he kept a straight face. No one dared to ask, and kept it to themselves. Kurt on the other hand knew better. He knows that Chris is simply keeping it in, and it breaks his heart to see him like that. Not being able to express that you’re sad, that you wanted to lament, is much more painful.

The ceremony ended and people started to disperse after saying goodbye to Chris.

“Here’s our contact numbers,” Leila handed Chris a piece of paper, “Don’t hesitate to contact any one of us when you need to. I know it’s hard, we lost comrades and good friends” Leila smiled sadly, her eyes shows that she’s reminiscing. Chris can see the pain, not only in Leila’s but to everyone’s eyes.

It’s either genuine or they are very good at acting. He had to remind himself.

“I would bring you home.” Fidel volunteered but Chris shook his head. He wanted to be alone, he needed to.

“I’d like to stay here longer. You already did so much for me, I don’t want to bother you anymore. I could bring myself home.” Fidel wanted to oppose but he respected Chris’ desire to stay longer.

“We’ll be going now. Remember that you’re always welcome to contact us.” Eugene said before the whole group bid their farewell.

“They look suspicious…" Damien appeared beside him. "That is written on your face earlier when they are introducing themselves to you. Can you stop being so weak and try to learn hiding your emotions? The killer might be laughing at your face by now." Damien whispered in Chris’ ear.

Chris glared at him, “Give me that flash drive.” he ordered.

“Let me eat first, I’m starving.” The demon insisted.

“Chris,” They heard a low voice from behind. The demon sighed, he forgot that Kurt is always around Chris like a gum.

“I’ll be going now, take care of yourself,” Damien patted Chris’ shoulder to fake his goodbye. Chris tried hard to hide his repugnance, just for the sake of Kurt not asking any questions. He’s already suspicious of the demon and Chris’ didn’t want to lie anymore.

“Chris, we’re going now. Should we drop you off to your house?” Kurt promptly offered after Cole walked away. Kurt wanted to stay as long as possible with Chris, he wanted to comfort his best friend in any way he could do. And he didn’t want Chris to feel alone.

“Thank you," Chris smiled, and he means everything with his words, "but I wanted to stay here longer." He lied for the nth time to Kurt. All he wanted is to protect him, from being involved with the mess he is in. Chris wouldn’t take it if Kurt gets hurt because of him.

“Then I'll stay here with you.” Kurt insisted.

“No. I mean, you must be tired. You’ve been accompanying me for days. I’m really okay, please don’t worry about me,” Chris only wished that Kurt wasn’t offended. Kurt’s dad approached them and motioned Kurt to go with him. He assumes that Chris just wanted to be alone for the moment.

“Contact me anytime, okay?” was Kurt’s last words before leaving Chris. He nodded and gave Kurt a reassuring smile.

Chris turned his head to his parents’ grave. He stood there, all alone.

--

“Do you feed on sadness too?” Chris asked the demon currently embracing him. The demon ignored him. People must be wondering why he didn’t shed a tear earlier. He honestly wonders how he managed to keep his tears earlier too.

He couldn’t see any memories unlike the other times Damien has fed on him. He’s simply seeing void when he closed his eyes. He felt like falling to endless void just like the nightmare he had on his birthday.

“I don’t feed on pure sadness. I can’t.” Damien answered after a few seconds. He finally let go of the human.

“Then why do I feel so empty?” it’s the truth. He should be feeling anger by now, because of the effect of Damien feeding on him. But he feels so empty, no sadness, no grief.

“I should be crying right now, right? It’s my parents’ burial, they are dead and they are no longer coming back. Am I bad child?” Chris murmured. He stared at the demon's eyes. Chris doesn't know why he’s bothering, but he is trying to find even a bit of warmth in those cold eyes. He’s trying hard to find solace but he failed.

The emotions he’s trying to find earlier flooded in his system. Maybe because he is alone, maybe he was trying to reach for help, but no one could help him.

He has no one but his deteriorating self.

“Don’t ask me with such trivial questions. I’m a demon, not your emotional supervisor.” Chris bit his lower lip, the anger is surging up this time.

Tears trickled down his cheeks but he quickly wiped it away, “I hate you!” Chris exclaimed without much weight. He said it to Damien numerous times already ever since they started the contract. It’s starting to lose its significance.

“Do you think I even care?” Damien answered with boredom in his tone, “I’ll come back when you’re sane enough to handle your problems. You’re so weak.” Chris picked up a pillow and threw it to Damien but he already disappeared and the pillow hit the door of his room.

“I hate you, I hate myself, I hate everything,” He collapsed on his bed, mumbling the same words over and over until consciousness slipped away from his system.