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Unsalvageable
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I kept my eyes closed when I woke up. Perhaps I didn't sleep at all, or maybe I did, it was hard to tell. My head was too colluded with thoughts and things to be able to be present in this continuum. My frozen body was nowhere near to being the correct projection of my racing mind. It was almost too many things to be able to focus on one particular state.
I was losing myself.
Or evolving into something most don't. Is this how humanity mutates? Through pain and suffering, perhaps. It reaches a point of desensitization. Numbness to what once used to feel like immense pain. Shocks instead of surprises. Pain instead of pleasure.
"You should know something." I was startled at my own lack of reaction. As if I already knew he was there. Subconsciously at least.
His words were slow and close. I wasn't aware of the dip in the bed beside me, but now his mere presence burned a hole there. The silence that followed after his unfinished or rather discontinue
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It was over now. Everything was. All the pain that I felt should have been too. I wondered why it didn’t.The weapon of my choice clattered to the ground as I let go of it. And it slipped so easily. The drowning blood making it easier to do so. It was all over.I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t even know how to breathe anymore. Everything was just empty and didn’t make sense at all. And why would they? Everything was over. It was just empty and I was numb. Falling into a deep abyss of nothingness. Just a dark mass with no end, no walls, only gravity. Or a pull with no direction. Or maybe I was floating while flailing my arms breathlessly.The limbo lasted for an unmeasurable amount of time before I got pulled back by a soft humming. One that hit too hard that I couldn’t even brace myself against it.“Wandering child of the earthDo you know just how much you're worth?You have walked this path since your birthYou were destined for moreThere are those who'll tell you you're wrong
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“Playing cat and mouse are we?” He was so close to me that I could almost feel his form touching my back. His whisper, just a quiet exhale in my ear, that no one would be able to hear even if the walls had ears. “I like this game. Makes it so much more fun. Us, together, our little secret game.” I could feel the smirk on his lips as he spoke and dragged a cold finger up my arm and flipped my open air behind my shoulder. “I missed you too.” I did miss his face. After all this time, it was getting a little blurry, overshadowed by his green eyes that I could never forget. It was important to remember, in this battle of sanity that I was. After being told that the men who had abducted me, might as well be imaginary because there was no trace of them at all. He brought his face close to my neck and placed his lips there. A burning indent of his smile on my skin. He approved of my response but unfortunately the context that both of us had, was far beyond contrasting. He stayed there agai
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It was raining so hard. Nothing felt right. This indescribable uneasiness, that settled in the pit of my stomach, made it impossible for me to sit still. There were so many things that I needed to do, work, but I just couldn’t because it made me feel so overwhelmed. Too paralysed by the stress of it all, as they sat on my forehead like a heavy hammer that I could not remove until and unless the things on my to-do list were scratched off. I took the glasses off my eyes and carelessly tossed it on the desk to look away from the brightly lit white screen off my laptop as it did nothing but increase my infuriating migraine. The urge to put my own head on my lap and just stay there for a long, long time was immense, but it would make me feel more lonely in this empty house which was once occupied by Liza as well. Now it felt more dead than ever, with me being the only occupant. The drops of rain knocked against the window pane in the complete darkness of the night. The lights inside the
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They simply had no idea. They didn’t even know that we existed before I came here. They had no idea about me or Liza at all. “So Rose, you were trapped and kidnapped in a house by two men, for how long?” he was taking notes in his small notepad which seemed nothing but funny to me. The things that I went through won’t even suffice 10 such notepads. What would he do then?“I don’t know.” There was no way for me to realise the amount of time I spent there. At times, it felt that the time was completely frozen and didn’t move at all, and sometimes it felt like time was moving at light years speed. Not that the clocks helped either because I was sure that they were messing with them as well. Mentally messing me up more than could realise at that point of time. Moreover, I didn’t know what day it was, what month it was. That crucial piece of information was hidden from me very well.“Okay…” He cleared his throat and jotted down something more in that tiny notepad of his, whose contents w
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Her eyes so kind, so soft, so naive. Innocent. Untouched by the cruelty of the world outside. A flicker in the darkness, I hope never extinguishes. The world needed people like her to stay alive. Such conscience, that hasn’t even flickered once in her years of life. I didn’t need to be told. Her brown eyes were an open book, baring her soul as she walked towards me with hopeful and helpful eyes. If she could, she would have tried to absorb the pain out of me, but I felt thankful that she couldn’t.“Yes, Rose? What can I do for you?” She knew what I meant when I asked for her help, but I couldn’t do this to her and I won’t share my pain with her because I know it would eat away a piece out of her. God knows that there’s enough hungry wolves outside, and I wasn’t going to be one of them who did that. “I think it’s time that I talk to the cops or anyone with authority. There’s… things that need to be sorted.” Liza. I needed to get her out of there as soon as possible. It was scary to th
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“Rose. I am really sorry, but we had to get rid of your left leg.” What did she mean by that? I stared at her face blankly, unable to understand how to respond to the sick joke that she just played on me. There was no way that what she said was in any way plausible. I waited for her to break into a fit of laughter. I would have loved to smile as well, but such pleasure was obviously not written in my fate. I averted my gaze from her pity filled face to the thick blanket that covered me from the waist down. There was not a single fibre in my body that wanted me to confirm what I just heard. The lack of such confirmation felt like a strange blessing, moments that I wanted to cherish because I knew now that what I will get to see next would hardly make me feel anything but relief. “It’s okay. You don’t have to see it right now.” The nurse's voice broke me from my reverie. It put me to action as well, as I pulled the blanket off me in one swift motion to reveal the horror that awaited
