LOGINShare
Pain
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56The touch of pins and needles against my palm felt good. A sensation of pain as my palms pressed against the chilled marble counter top, waiting, as I looked up through the window and up above in the night sky. Wisps of grey clouds hid the stars but not too condensed enough to impede the glow of the moon as it shined like it usually does even if a little dim right now.
A deliberate noise of a step reverberated behind me. Too close and near than I expected and was prepared for, as my heart lurched a beat, making me close my eyes after to compose myself before I faced the devil whom I summoned. I could feel him waiting and relishing the thick tension in the air as I exhaled loudly and turned around.
Blinded by the sudden change of light, the shine of the moon to the darkness inside the kitchen, I almost couldn't see anything except for the light brown sweater he was wearing and my dim shadow upon it. I looked up and there it was, pools of green
Related chapters
Submitting Unsalvageable
I kept my eyes closed when I woke up. Perhaps I didn't sleep at all, or maybe I did, it was hard to tell. My head was too colluded with thoughts and things to be able to be present in this continuum. My frozen body was nowhere near to being the correct projection of my racing mind. It was almost too many things to be able to focus on one particular state. I was losing myself. Or evolving into something most don't. Is this how humanity mutates? Through pain and suffering, perhaps. It reaches a point of desensitization. Numbness to what once used to feel like immense pain. Shocks instead of surprises. Pain instead of pleasure. "You should know something." I was startled at my own lack of reaction. As if I already knew he was there. Subconsciously at least. His words were slow and close. I wasn't aware of the dip in the bed beside me, but now his mere presence burned a hole there. The silence that followed after his unfinished or rather discontinue
Submitting Rush
I was holding a knife. A blunt, serrated, steel knife with a smooth shiny surface. My reflection a slight blur on top of it, as it glinted in the bright kitchen. Sunlight streamed in through the glass panes of the windows, a nostalgic warmth that I didn't know I would miss so much. The normality of the situation as well, as I dragged the cold knife against the smoking hot pancakes to cut a more manageable piece that I could chew inside my mouth. The taste of it melting against my tongue like the butter it was smeared in. A perfect balance of sweetness and texture. The clatter of knives and forks was the only thing that kept the silence dead in the kitchen and the whole house. The lively noise that made the atmosphere seem like it is dwelt in, otherwise the lack of Ivan and his nosiness wouldn't have been distinguishable as it was most of the time. This was a change from the mundane routine and I couldn't help but confess that I liked it more in comparison to being shut in th
Submitting Shush
I had to feel him. It was a necessity. My fingers gently grabbing his hair, getting lost in the soft and silky tufts, head tilted towards him, eyes closed, lips touching and moving in a non-periodic rhythm, legs strangled on his lap. It was something that I had to do. Right? The dilemma that arose at my conspicuous actions surprised me. It was not supposed to be like that. I was not supposed to question my need to pretend in front of Dimitri about my supposed affections towards him. He was no child and of course knew that all of this was just my way to show him my compliance. I was okay with him knowing that as long as I got to have Liza out of there. Away from here. But now, I wasn't sure if he knew the self-doubt I was facing as well. His fingers suddenly curled up, as if he was trying to stop himself from doing something, but changed his mind once again when they uncurled and decided to slid under my dress. That was the moment when all the tangled up uncertainty i
Submitting Cold
I don't get it. Even though I was used to the sudden rush of unknown and shocking pieces of puzzles that didn't really fit together, it still didn't master me enough to understand the inner workings of these two men. Their actions so insensible at first sight, but their true intentions masked so expertly that I doubt I would ever be able to decipher it all at the end. If at all there was one, that is. The clatter of the forks against the white ceramic plates kept the silence in between me and Dimitri less awkward. It was a perfect alibi or rather a common one to not have a conversation with him. If I could, I would have finished the food sitting on my plate as quickly as possible, but the nagging feeling of him not letting me retire to my room so easily was plausible. He liked doing activities after dinner, and I wasn't ready yet to get occupied by anything else except the newly acquired knowledge that Ivan was not in the house. Not behind the walls as I thought he was.
Submitting ANTONYM
The world is not fair. To me, it was not a knowledge newly acquired and yet somehow it never really failed to astonish me to see how farther that line of limit could be drawn. When it hits, I think that this is bad and nothing could be worse than now, but I get proven wrong every time. A loop, a vicious cycle that provides hope only to tear it away. She moved away. Left me. How could she? The pain in my chest still alive since the day I got to know how she ran away without a spare thought to the consequences that might await. A soul so shy and timid, how did that fire ignite in her that too her away from me? Even before I could hold her, touch her, let her know that I exist. Her brown eyes, so warm, so soft, so innocent that I could drown myself in them forever and never have the urge to come up. I'd happily be breathless. That privilege though, I had to have only once. A taste that I thought wo
Submitting Home
The distorted red reflection in the wine glass stared at me dauntingly as I tried my best to ignore the strict gaze from a set of green eyes. A vastly contrasting drink in his hand, a steaming mug of coffee, the scent of which was enough for me to understand that it was dairy free and strong enough to keep anyone awake throughout the night. Everything was so quiet and silent that I was afraid to make any movement that might draw his attention towards me. Not that I needed to do anything at all but with every move I did make, he unravelled me more with his knowing eyes. Like a secret he knew that even I was not aware of. I was made to sit on the enormous sofa all alone while he sat on the couch, with not a word in the air, only the crackle of fire keeping the silence dead in the animated night outside. Snow pelted softly and glistened in the dim light that the fire cast through the glass doors which rattled now and then when the wind knocked against it. But I couldn't
Submitting Different
I sat up with a jolt, eyes wide and heart pounding against my rib cage. The bubble that I was in popped suddenly, snatched away from the misty tendrils of slumber that was about to consume me slowly in Dimitri's arms as his hand grazing my head, combing through my hair, patted it into place one last time before resting on my waist. He knew something I didn't. A sigh escaped his lips that followed the dead echo of the doorbell as he left my side and stood up facing the pitch black doorway, attentive and aware, with his right hand on top of his left. That and the cold chill that he left me in, made it very clear that I was not about to like whatever was going to happen next and whoever was about to come through that door. It didn't stop me from wanting to have a good view as I stood up as well when a key turning the lock resounded from the hallway as the front door open with a loud squeak and a pair of footsteps walked in the foyer. Their boots clacked against
Submitting Comfort
If I just rolled over and stayed absolutely still, not a single blink, not a single breath, then maybe, just maybe, this will all be over. The urge to cry was so immense, and yet I couldn't even begin to let the crushing sadness take me, before the cracking headache took over and so did the deep nausea as I hurled everything out of my stomach right in front of everyone and on the lush carpet that was unlucky enough to be placed there. Acidity filled the air which further aided to the situation as I unfurled once again with much more vigour that I would have surely fallen into my own mess if Dimitri wouldn't have held my shoulders as soon as he did while also making sure to hold up my hair until I was done. "Here take some tissues." The worry in his voice felt nothing but ridiculous to me. I would have laughed out loud if only Liza wasn't standing at the doorway with horror in her eyes and Ivan's snake of a hand on her shoulder. "I suppose that's enough fun fo
Latest chapter
Submitting Liza
It was over now. Everything was. All the pain that I felt should have been too. I wondered why it didn’t.The weapon of my choice clattered to the ground as I let go of it. And it slipped so easily. The drowning blood making it easier to do so. It was all over.I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t even know how to breathe anymore. Everything was just empty and didn’t make sense at all. And why would they? Everything was over. It was just empty and I was numb. Falling into a deep abyss of nothingness. Just a dark mass with no end, no walls, only gravity. Or a pull with no direction. Or maybe I was floating while flailing my arms breathlessly.The limbo lasted for an unmeasurable amount of time before I got pulled back by a soft humming. One that hit too hard that I couldn’t even brace myself against it.“Wandering child of the earthDo you know just how much you're worth?You have walked this path since your birthYou were destined for moreThere are those who'll tell you you're wrong
Submitting Dimitri
I needed to end things with Ivan quickly because of another reason. Him not being alone in this complex game of souls. Dimitri could have come in at any moment and the walk to the car, getting the supplies and then coming back wouldn’t take so long. And it didn’t as I heard him close the front door and go directly upstairs to Liza to give her whatever the baby needed.I had to make sure that nothing seemed suspicious to him. Especially not Ivan’s sudden absence.Quietly, I closed the door to the living room behind me and walked back to the kitchen, and stood exactly at the spot where he last saw me, with the exact expression of utter fear and shock smeared all over myself. His slow steps reverberated in the upper hallway, but it never came down the stairs. Instead, they stayed still until the creak of the door to my room made me realize that he just walked into my room. This was definitely not in the plan. Well, I didn’t have a blueprint plan before they barged into the house, but thi
Submitting Ivan
“Playing cat and mouse are we?” He was so close to me that I could almost feel his form touching my back. His whisper, just a quiet exhale in my ear, that no one would be able to hear even if the walls had ears. “I like this game. Makes it so much more fun. Us, together, our little secret game.” I could feel the smirk on his lips as he spoke and dragged a cold finger up my arm and flipped my open air behind my shoulder. “I missed you too.” I did miss his face. After all this time, it was getting a little blurry, overshadowed by his green eyes that I could never forget. It was important to remember, in this battle of sanity that I was. After being told that the men who had abducted me, might as well be imaginary because there was no trace of them at all. He brought his face close to my neck and placed his lips there. A burning indent of his smile on my skin. He approved of my response but unfortunately the context that both of us had, was far beyond contrasting. He stayed there agai
Submitting Alone
A door opened somewhere. It was one of those classic cliche door opening noises in horror movies. The same groaning squeak, the same sluggish movement and most of all, the anonymity of its source. And then there was absolute silence. I kept looking into Liza’s eyes who looked at me the same but it wasn’t the Liza I knew at all. The dark, soulless eyes looked at me unflinchingly. Not a single expression at display but just a poker face that revealed nothing and yet so much. I knew this was not my Liza and whatever was going to happen next, I was going to be all alone through it. Arms wrapped around me from the behind and squeezed me into a tight embrace. A face buried in my neck and inhaled me deep and strong. Their body warm but I felt nothing but chilling cold. “I missed you.” He whispered in my ear and I knew that all the things that I tried to escape from are back. All the paid that I went through was nothing but a waste. The loss that I had, all but in vain. “I missed you
Submitting Penelope
“Hello.”I heard it before I heard her hello. The soft, incoherent, cooing of the baby held securely in Liza’s arms. An exact replica of the several childhood pictures I had seen of Liza. That same blonde hair, that same innocent smile. Her eyes, an exact replica of the misty green that I feared and despised both. “Can I come in?” Liza laughed a bit as she readjusted the baby in her arms, who looked up at her mother adoringly and then looked back at me again.I was too shocked to say anything. So many things that I wanted to ask her, but all I could do was step aside and stare at her unblinkingly. The time had really come. I knew it would be someday, but nevertheless, I wasn’t prepared for it. I never would have.“Can you please look after her for a moment? I need to take a massive pee. Like my bladder is literally going to burst.” Without waiting for my answer, she quickly placed the living, breathing, creature in my arms, who didn’t resist either but giggled instead and said someth
Submitting Visit
It was raining so hard. Nothing felt right. This indescribable uneasiness, that settled in the pit of my stomach, made it impossible for me to sit still. There were so many things that I needed to do, work, but I just couldn’t because it made me feel so overwhelmed. Too paralysed by the stress of it all, as they sat on my forehead like a heavy hammer that I could not remove until and unless the things on my to-do list were scratched off. I took the glasses off my eyes and carelessly tossed it on the desk to look away from the brightly lit white screen off my laptop as it did nothing but increase my infuriating migraine. The urge to put my own head on my lap and just stay there for a long, long time was immense, but it would make me feel more lonely in this empty house which was once occupied by Liza as well. Now it felt more dead than ever, with me being the only occupant. The drops of rain knocked against the window pane in the complete darkness of the night. The lights inside the
Submitting Information
They simply had no idea. They didn’t even know that we existed before I came here. They had no idea about me or Liza at all. “So Rose, you were trapped and kidnapped in a house by two men, for how long?” he was taking notes in his small notepad which seemed nothing but funny to me. The things that I went through won’t even suffice 10 such notepads. What would he do then?“I don’t know.” There was no way for me to realise the amount of time I spent there. At times, it felt that the time was completely frozen and didn’t move at all, and sometimes it felt like time was moving at light years speed. Not that the clocks helped either because I was sure that they were messing with them as well. Mentally messing me up more than could realise at that point of time. Moreover, I didn’t know what day it was, what month it was. That crucial piece of information was hidden from me very well.“Okay…” He cleared his throat and jotted down something more in that tiny notepad of his, whose contents w
Submitting Help
Her eyes so kind, so soft, so naive. Innocent. Untouched by the cruelty of the world outside. A flicker in the darkness, I hope never extinguishes. The world needed people like her to stay alive. Such conscience, that hasn’t even flickered once in her years of life. I didn’t need to be told. Her brown eyes were an open book, baring her soul as she walked towards me with hopeful and helpful eyes. If she could, she would have tried to absorb the pain out of me, but I felt thankful that she couldn’t.“Yes, Rose? What can I do for you?” She knew what I meant when I asked for her help, but I couldn’t do this to her and I won’t share my pain with her because I know it would eat away a piece out of her. God knows that there’s enough hungry wolves outside, and I wasn’t going to be one of them who did that. “I think it’s time that I talk to the cops or anyone with authority. There’s… things that need to be sorted.” Liza. I needed to get her out of there as soon as possible. It was scary to th
Submitting Lost
“Rose. I am really sorry, but we had to get rid of your left leg.” What did she mean by that? I stared at her face blankly, unable to understand how to respond to the sick joke that she just played on me. There was no way that what she said was in any way plausible. I waited for her to break into a fit of laughter. I would have loved to smile as well, but such pleasure was obviously not written in my fate. I averted my gaze from her pity filled face to the thick blanket that covered me from the waist down. There was not a single fibre in my body that wanted me to confirm what I just heard. The lack of such confirmation felt like a strange blessing, moments that I wanted to cherish because I knew now that what I will get to see next would hardly make me feel anything but relief. “It’s okay. You don’t have to see it right now.” The nurse's voice broke me from my reverie. It put me to action as well, as I pulled the blanket off me in one swift motion to reveal the horror that awaited
