Becca.After everything that had happened with James, I let myself succumb to the lust that took over on very often occasions. I loved him, but loving him wasn't good for me. At least, I wasn't sure if it was. I wanted him to stay, but I was so far past having the effort in this anymore.I just wanted to sleep. Curl up in my bed, and hide away from the world.There was no point in exhausting myself mentally, emotionally, and physically by fighting for a relationship that just could not work. At least, not right now. Perhaps when everything was said and done with my schoolwork and Tally had the baby, and James had figured out whatever else he had going on… then he could work towards something more.Maybe anyway… who knew what the future would hold?Laying In bed naked, I stared at the ceiling, trying to move around all the vivid thoughts I had. James and I had once again done what we usually did, and with as many questions as I had, I wanted to know what the truth was. I ne
BeccaTwo weeks went by before I was actually able to find myself in some kind of contentment. The moment I broke it off with James, I went upstairs and cried my eyes out, unable to focus on anything, and even when Monday came around, and my classes fell back into session, I just couldn't get myself together.Everything, instead, went by in a blur. I felt trapped within my mind, trying to pay attention but doing so numbly because I had ended things with the man I loved. I couldn't deal with the complications. I couldn't keep dealing with the unassured way my life was going, the chaos constantly consuming me.That was no way for any woman or man to live.And though he wanted to keep a hold of me, I couldn't do that.Looking at my phone, I stared at my missed calls from the day. Every day he called me, he would call twice or three times, trying to get me to pick up. Sending me text messages telling me not to do this, and I at first replied. But now?Every time my phone ran
BeccaThe weekend came quicker than I imagined and before I knew it, I was in my car driving to New York City. Even though Neal had absolutely refused for me to do so. He said he would have me flown down here, but I enjoyed driving. It gave me time to clear my mind and relax in the scenery.That is, of course, until I actually got into New York City and then reminded myself why I did not enjoy living in a city, nor driving in one. It was nothing but utter chaos.The bumper to bumper traffic was crazy, and nobody knew how to drive. Nobody used turn signals. People just walked right out in front of you in the middle of the road like they owned the damn place. I don't know how many times I had to slam on my brakes because I almost hit somebody.But as I pulled into the parking garage of Neal's building and found the lovely parking space he had reserved for me, I couldn't be happier.This was going to be an absolutely amazing vacation.Regardless of how the past few month
JamesIt had been two weeks since I had spoken to Becca. I still couldn't believe the moment I was leaving, she found comfort being able to just call it off with me.Maybe I should have tried to force her to stay with me or something. I didn't know what the f*ck I was doing or thinking. At the end of the day, I'd just let her go. I let her say goodbye to me. Even though it killed me, it was happening. I had done so much for her, and she didn't seem to want to make it work. She just wanted a way out, and as hurt as I was—I was angry.No matter how many times I'd called, no matter how many times I texted her—nothing.Only twice did she respond, and those were vaguely a conversation. Her response was just like the other times we'd aruged. She told me I had priorities I needed to situate, and she wasn't one of them. That perhaps in the future, things would change.I was angry, on edge, unable to focus on a goddamn thing because she clouded every single moment of my waking m
BeccaA few days into my visit with Neal and Allegra, I felt happier than I had in a while. We decided to meander the streets of New York, taking in the different sites and also visited a few of the museums.Which, by the way, were absolutely amazing! The entire day had been more than perfect, and though I knew it would only be short-lived, I couldn't help but relish how spending time with them felt.Allegra and Neal had done amazing in making me feel better.It was the first time I had felt some contentment in a long time, and as we rounded the corner near Times Square, I couldn't help but be astounded at the sights before me. The bright, colorful lights, the large screens, the revolving images that were there, not to mention the many people who meandered around as if they had no care in the world.It was mesmerizing, and even though I was not the type of person that would ever be considered a city girl, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live here in
BeccaSeeing James in New York was not something I expected, but running into him brought up so many memories I didn't know how to control. The way he had looked at me made my skin crawl with pleasure, not disgust, like I expected it would have. I wasn't quite sure why it was he was there, but according to him, he wasn't following me.Deep down, though, I couldn't help but feel him running into me was a work of fate and not of coincidence. Something inside me told me I was meant to see him today.As soon as we returned to Neal's apartment, it was clear Neal was upset over the entire situation. The scowls on his face were absolutely dreadful, and no matter how much Allegra tried to talk to him and make him feel better, he just seemed so angry over the entire situation."Would you please calm down? You're completely ruining the mood. We had such a wonderful day today, and you're acting like this."Allegra's words made him snarl, but when his eyes landed on me, he heaved and
BeccaI wasn't sure what I expected when I allowed Allegra to help get me ready. But Lord have mercy, did this girl have plans I was unprepared for. Staring in the mirror, I had to admit, I did look absolutely gorgeous. My long hair was curled to perfection and held back with small bobby pins at the back of my head, loose strands hanging low over my shoulders, and my makeup dark and smoky, my lips bright red.I looked like a f*cking siren, ready to poach men and drag them to their death. I was wearing lace, leather, and the tallest heels I had ever worn, something I wasn't too crazy about because I knew that by the end of my night, my feet would be screaming at me.Although the moment I stepped from her room heading out into the living room where Neal was waiting, the look on his face said it all. I was absolutely gorgeous, and it made me feel wanted."She really did a number on you, didn't she?" Neal's comment made me blush as his eyes grazed over my body from head
BeccaNever once had I considered what it would be like to be with Neal, but the moment he touched me, my skin felt as if it was on fire. Perhaps it was the alcohol running through my blood talking. Who knows?Though, it didn't matter because I was completely on fire around him.Pushing my back against the wall in the small enclosed room away from the others, his lips were on mine in an instant and as he kissed me, my heart raced with excitement. His hands wandered across my body, my skin burning from his touch. I wanted more.I wanted so much more.Pulling, pushing, everything came completely off, falling to the floor like a lost memory. For a moment, I was worried about someone walking in, but even that idea turned me on."You have no idea how long I've waited for this," he whispered softly in my ear as his lips trailed over my jawline, slowly making their way down my neck. "You should have taken advantage of a situation in the past," I teased.A deep chuckle r