JamesAnger coursed through my veins as I stared at Tally sitting on Becca's living room sofa. I hadn't expected to see her in Becca's living room, but fate had other plans. Instead of me coming here to search for her—she found her way towards me."Thank you for not going out there," Tally whispered, staring at her feet.I wanted to wring her neck and tell her how stupid she was being. Before I could, the front door opened, and Becca walked into the apartment slowly, her eyes not meeting mine.Casting her eyes towards the floor, she passed by me, making her way towards the stairs. Guilt rolled through me at how I had spoken to her. I realized now I was wrong for speaking to her as I did. She wasn't the reason I was angry, but she was the only outlet I had when I unraveled.That was no excuse. I had been a complete asshole. "Becca—" I said, grabbing her arm gently, stopping her in her tracks. I didn't get a chance to continue as she held up her hand, stopping me from con
Becca.After everything that had happened with James, I let myself succumb to the lust that took over on very often occasions. I loved him, but loving him wasn't good for me. At least, I wasn't sure if it was. I wanted him to stay, but I was so far past having the effort in this anymore.I just wanted to sleep. Curl up in my bed, and hide away from the world.There was no point in exhausting myself mentally, emotionally, and physically by fighting for a relationship that just could not work. At least, not right now. Perhaps when everything was said and done with my schoolwork and Tally had the baby, and James had figured out whatever else he had going on… then he could work towards something more.Maybe anyway… who knew what the future would hold?Laying In bed naked, I stared at the ceiling, trying to move around all the vivid thoughts I had. James and I had once again done what we usually did, and with as many questions as I had, I wanted to know what the truth was. I ne
BeccaTwo weeks went by before I was actually able to find myself in some kind of contentment. The moment I broke it off with James, I went upstairs and cried my eyes out, unable to focus on anything, and even when Monday came around, and my classes fell back into session, I just couldn't get myself together.Everything, instead, went by in a blur. I felt trapped within my mind, trying to pay attention but doing so numbly because I had ended things with the man I loved. I couldn't deal with the complications. I couldn't keep dealing with the unassured way my life was going, the chaos constantly consuming me.That was no way for any woman or man to live.And though he wanted to keep a hold of me, I couldn't do that.Looking at my phone, I stared at my missed calls from the day. Every day he called me, he would call twice or three times, trying to get me to pick up. Sending me text messages telling me not to do this, and I at first replied. But now?Every time my phone ran
BeccaThe weekend came quicker than I imagined and before I knew it, I was in my car driving to New York City. Even though Neal had absolutely refused for me to do so. He said he would have me flown down here, but I enjoyed driving. It gave me time to clear my mind and relax in the scenery.That is, of course, until I actually got into New York City and then reminded myself why I did not enjoy living in a city, nor driving in one. It was nothing but utter chaos.The bumper to bumper traffic was crazy, and nobody knew how to drive. Nobody used turn signals. People just walked right out in front of you in the middle of the road like they owned the damn place. I don't know how many times I had to slam on my brakes because I almost hit somebody.But as I pulled into the parking garage of Neal's building and found the lovely parking space he had reserved for me, I couldn't be happier.This was going to be an absolutely amazing vacation.Regardless of how the past few month
JamesIt had been two weeks since I had spoken to Becca. I still couldn't believe the moment I was leaving, she found comfort being able to just call it off with me.Maybe I should have tried to force her to stay with me or something. I didn't know what the f*ck I was doing or thinking. At the end of the day, I'd just let her go. I let her say goodbye to me. Even though it killed me, it was happening. I had done so much for her, and she didn't seem to want to make it work. She just wanted a way out, and as hurt as I was—I was angry.No matter how many times I'd called, no matter how many times I texted her—nothing.Only twice did she respond, and those were vaguely a conversation. Her response was just like the other times we'd aruged. She told me I had priorities I needed to situate, and she wasn't one of them. That perhaps in the future, things would change.I was angry, on edge, unable to focus on a goddamn thing because she clouded every single moment of my waking m
BeccaA few days into my visit with Neal and Allegra, I felt happier than I had in a while. We decided to meander the streets of New York, taking in the different sites and also visited a few of the museums.Which, by the way, were absolutely amazing! The entire day had been more than perfect, and though I knew it would only be short-lived, I couldn't help but relish how spending time with them felt.Allegra and Neal had done amazing in making me feel better.It was the first time I had felt some contentment in a long time, and as we rounded the corner near Times Square, I couldn't help but be astounded at the sights before me. The bright, colorful lights, the large screens, the revolving images that were there, not to mention the many people who meandered around as if they had no care in the world.It was mesmerizing, and even though I was not the type of person that would ever be considered a city girl, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live here in
BeccaSeeing James in New York was not something I expected, but running into him brought up so many memories I didn't know how to control. The way he had looked at me made my skin crawl with pleasure, not disgust, like I expected it would have. I wasn't quite sure why it was he was there, but according to him, he wasn't following me.Deep down, though, I couldn't help but feel him running into me was a work of fate and not of coincidence. Something inside me told me I was meant to see him today.As soon as we returned to Neal's apartment, it was clear Neal was upset over the entire situation. The scowls on his face were absolutely dreadful, and no matter how much Allegra tried to talk to him and make him feel better, he just seemed so angry over the entire situation."Would you please calm down? You're completely ruining the mood. We had such a wonderful day today, and you're acting like this."Allegra's words made him snarl, but when his eyes landed on me, he heaved and
BeccaI wasn't sure what I expected when I allowed Allegra to help get me ready. But Lord have mercy, did this girl have plans I was unprepared for. Staring in the mirror, I had to admit, I did look absolutely gorgeous. My long hair was curled to perfection and held back with small bobby pins at the back of my head, loose strands hanging low over my shoulders, and my makeup dark and smoky, my lips bright red.I looked like a f*cking siren, ready to poach men and drag them to their death. I was wearing lace, leather, and the tallest heels I had ever worn, something I wasn't too crazy about because I knew that by the end of my night, my feet would be screaming at me.Although the moment I stepped from her room heading out into the living room where Neal was waiting, the look on his face said it all. I was absolutely gorgeous, and it made me feel wanted."She really did a number on you, didn't she?" Neal's comment made me blush as his eyes grazed over my body from head