James.The moment that I got off the phone with Neal, I knew he was going to be a complication. He didn't seem eager to help me, and I didn't blame him. After everything that I had put her through, why would he?What annoyed me the most, though, was he thought that he could actually dictate to me what I was going and not going to do. If I wanted to get to Becca, I could. I knew it was best for me to keep away, to be able to watch from a distance, and hope that she was okay, but the other part of me longed to be next to her again.I wanted to hold her in my arms, I wanted to get on my knees and beg her forgiveness, and I wanted to be part of my child's life. I had already lost one child because of my selfishness, and the last thing I needed to do was allow myself to lose another.Even my grandson wasn't going to be able to have me as part of his life because of the shit that I pulled. Perhaps it had happened back in the day, back when I was younger, when I made these terrible
Becca.I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Or better yet, what Neal and Allegra were up to. Their whispered conversations behind closed doors over the past few days while we were on vacation were confusing. It wasn't like them to hide things from me.It wasn't like them to act this way in general."Sorry about that. I had to take a phone call." Allegra laughed as she walked over with her very alcoholic mixed drink and a strawberry virgin daiquiri for me."No problem, you and Neal seem to have a lot going on the last few days."She gave me a quizzical look with a small confused smile as she took her seat on the lounge chair next to me on the back deck. "What are you talking about? I haven't been any different than I always am.""Is that so? Then what's up with all the secretive conversations with your brother behind closed doors?" As if she had been found out. Her lips parted, and she looked around, slightly worried."I don't know what you're talking about.""F
Becca.As I stood before Neal, staring at him, trying to process the words that he had said, I felt my heart slowly beat faster. A man that I had shared a bed with many times and grown to care about was a cold-blooded killer.How was it that this kind, gentle person who had done everything in his power to take care of me could kill people without hesitation?I didn't know if I could believe that any of it could be true. I couldn't see Neal being that kind of person. Yet, as he spoke, I knew the words were truer than I wanted to admit. It was the first time in a long time that someone had been genuinely truthful with me, and that raw information gutted me to the core."Please tell me that you're lying, that all of that is just something you said to upset me. Tell me that's not true." As tears filled my eyes, I waited for him to say anything that would suggest the fact that he was simply making it up. But as I stared at him, I could tell he wasn't."Out of everything I just
Neal.When Becca left, my emotions rolled through me like a thunderstorm over a grassy field. I couldn't believe that I had acted the way that I did. She hadn't deserved it, and honestly, I felt nothing but remorse swelling through my body like an angry viper looking for a way out.After everything that she had been through lately, and all the countless times I had stood by her side, I had never given her a reason to doubt me, to doubt my allegiance to her, to doubt the safety that she felt with me, until she found out the truth.Even though she said she was okay, I saw it in her eyes, the resentment, the anger… and all of it because I couldn't be f*cking honest with her about who I was.Sitting on the edge of my bed, I held my head in my hands. I had been foolish to think that I was someone that could be desired. Never had I been a man to care what other people thought. But when it came to Becca, I cared deeply. And that was because I was in love with her.Without warning
Becca.I hadn't remembered falling asleep, but the light filtered through my open window, and as it did, my eyes fluttered open, giving way to another beautiful day. Stretching my arms over my head, my hand touched a warm body, and quickly looking to my left, I spotted Neals' sleeping form resting beside me.I hadn't even realized that he had come into my bed last night, but looking at him now, I saw him in a different light. He wasn't the man I once knew, but instead, he was much stronger than I realized. To be holding all of these secrets all these years and never having been able to talk to someone was something I would never be able to grasp. How lonely that must have been for him.Rolling to my side, I minded my baby bump and rested my head upon my hand as I reached over with my free hand brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. As quick as my touch had been, he grasped my wrist and slowly opened his eyes."Good morning, beautiful," he whispered in a rough voice a
Becca.Venturing into town was just as happy as I could have expected it. The sights were beyond amazing, and even the stores were beautiful. Everywhere you turned, extremely happy people greeted us. They were welcoming. They didn't judge us in any kind of manner, and honestly, that was nice to have for once.I had been doing a lot of thinking since the moment that we landed in New Zealand. I loved it here. I loved the condo that we were staying in. I loved the land, and even late at night, when I would lay in bed, I would look at the properties that were nearby for sale.An idea had popped into my mind the moment that I had decided when I got off the plane in New Zealand that I was going to do everything in my power to have an amazing trip. The idea was… what if there was a possibility of moving here? I wasn't quite sure what it would take to get a visa and permission to leave the country and everything else, but if it was something that could be a possibility, maybe getti
~Four months later~Becca."I can't do this," I panted as the pain of contractions ran through me. "Goddamn it, Neal! Drive faster!"There was nothing like being woken up at three in the morning by a soaked bed only to realize that your water had broken. At first, the pain was nothing more than slightly uncomfortable and feeling extra heavy below, but as time gradually went on, the pain began to spread."I'm going as fast as I can, Becca.""It's f*cking not fast enough!" I screamed out as a cry of pain radiated through me. "Becca, in and out. In and out," Allegra said, soothingly, as she placed a cold cloth against my head. I did as she said and continued the breathing exercises that the native island woman had told me to do in my classes, but it didn't matter how much breathing I did, the pain was horrible.F*ck having a natural birth… all I wanted was the damn pain medication the doctors had promised me. One prick of a needle, and all my pain would be over. Th
James.Four months of being in Japan had taught me many things, and one of those things was that even the smallest of jobs can make you important to the people around you. I had taken on the maintenance job that Sue's father once had with ease, and because I had, the tenants in the building were forever grateful.Which meant they were constantly trying to feed me, and with my understanding of the language being minimal, I accepted so that I wasn't rude.The last thing I expected after a long day of work, though, was to have my phone ring in the wee hours of the morning with Neal's voice on the other end."A daughter?" I whispered softly as the news slowly woke me up."Yeah, she just had her. We didn't think she would have the baby till next week, but her water broke a few hours ago, and then it was a mad rush to the hospital."I was overjoyed to hear the news, but still hesitant on the situation between Neal and I. We weren't exactly on good terms. Neal still didn't like