Chapter 114 : Adjusting to Reality

James.

The moment that I got off the phone with Neal, I knew he was going to be a complication. He didn't seem eager to help me, and I didn't blame him. After everything that I had put her through, why would he?

What annoyed me the most, though, was he thought that he could actually dictate to me what I was going and not going to do. If I wanted to get to Becca, I could. I knew it was best for me to keep away, to be able to watch from a distance, and hope that she was okay, but the other part of me longed to be next to her again.

I wanted to hold her in my arms, I wanted to get on my knees and beg her forgiveness, and I wanted to be part of my child's life. I had already lost one child because of my selfishness, and the last thing I needed to do was allow myself to lose another.

Even my grandson wasn't going to be able to have me as part of his life because of the shit that I pulled. Perhaps it had happened back in the day, back when I was younger, when I made these terrible