StephanieNow that I was free of that nightmare … I couldn’t hold back the emotions that we chocking me, I waited in the underground car park of our home for 20 minutes as I cried my eyes out. The problem was the concrete walls looked the same as … my body ached, I felt sore between my thighs, my breast had finally stopped bleeding. There was a faint bruise on my neck not to mention all the hickies he had left on my skin, as if the memory wasn’t enough, I needed the visual reminder of the events of tonight too.If Jake saw me like this, he would flip out, feel guilty I had already seen many messages and missed calls from him, especially as he could see that I was now home. I just wasn’t ready to face him yet. I looked in the car view mirror wiping my tears away as I assessed the damage.My face was red and blotchy from the crying, then there was all the bruises and blood covering me. There were some wet wipes in the glove compartment, I used that to wipe away the mix between Joe and m
JakeShe just left.She walked through those lift doors without looking back at me once.I didn’t know what to do or think, I was consumed with anger the second I say the hickey on her neck I lost it. It was as if a red fog head taken over, no matter what she said I couldn’t believe her, someone had touched what was mine, worse she had let them.I had never felt jealousy or rage like it. I had struggled not to hurt her, she had to leave but, why was it so easy for her to do so, I couldn’t understand.It just proved I was right, her and Carter were in this together and I was not going to fall for her bullshit anymore. Those large doe eyes of her that I would get lost in, that was where things had gone wrong. I ran my hands through my hair not knowing what to do with myself as I paced around the apartment.I was angry and frustrated, I poured myself a whiskey from the mini bar in the corner before slumping into the seat. She had tricked me; her whole innocent act was so convincing. I ju
JakeI had really fucked up, why didn’t I listen to what she said. I could have avoided all of this. I was pacing the apartment my mind in turmoil. I needed to find her but where to start.I tried her number again and again but each time it went straight to voice mail, I couldn’t blame her if I was her, I wouldn’t take my calls either. Still, I needed to know she was okay, I looked back at the broken phone with the crushed screen the voice note on pause. I felt sick knowing what she’s been through. Why did I think she would cheat on me, she has never done anything to imply that she would.What was niggling away at me was that it was my idea, she never would have met that creep if I hadn’t suggested it. I ran my hands through my hair, this is all my fucking fault. If I manage to find her, what exactly would I say to make her forgive me, what could I say that would allow me to forgive myself.That was something I knew would never be possible, she had even begged me to be close by, she k
StephanieI hadn’t wanted to turn on my phone, I knew Jake would track me I had clearly realized too late before switching it off. I told the cabbie to just drive whilst I cleared my head. Normally whenever something like this happened, I would go to Sabrina’s but we weren’t even on speaking terms, it was something I was going to have to fix. I just didn’t have the head space for it, plus without telling her the whole truth I don’t know if she would understand. Plus, I still didn’t know how things would turn out and I didn’t want her complicit in any of my mistakes.Ruby, God love her I didn’t know if she would be right for how I’m feeling now, slightly buzzed broken hearted and bruised. She would just tell me to get over a guy by getting under another. Which may have worked the last time but after the assault from Joe, that was the last thing I wanted, even kissing that guy at the bar made my stomach churn.Then there was Millie, she was probably the perfect option for this, although
StephanieI waited outside the Tree Rest Rehab center, as predicted I hadn’t slept very well, I was nervous to talk to my sister, something I had never been before.How can I tell her my biggest darkest shameful secret.I didn’t want the stress of this to jeopardies her health, she was so close to being free of all of this. Sighing I stared at the door to reception running a hand through my hair. The lady on reception kept staring at me out the window. I gave her a smile but I still couldn’t bring myself to enter.My phone beeped and I looked down, there were always messages from Jake but I hadn’t opened them, I wasn’t ready to deal with that yet. There was another one from Millie though that I opened.Millie – You can do this Steph; Jess will understand xxShe was a good friend; despite her own work drama she was able to be there for me when I needed someone on my side the most. Smiling I took a deep breath taking a step towards the building. I had probably stood there for an hour by
JakeI had been sat in my office all morning waiting to see if Stephanie would be in today. I had sent her so many messages, calls to apologize. I just needed to see her, I needed to make things right. I hadn’t been able to sleep the last few nights since putting her in that cab … I was a mess without her.Every time I heard the lift ding in my apartment my heart leapt and I prayed it was her coming home. Each time just the cleaner, at the office I kept my door open to see when she came in, the only message I had got from her was that she needed time.I couldn’t argue with that, I wanted to. I had fucked up as penance I was now going to have to wait it out. I hated the waiting, my gut hurt, there was a constant pain pressing down on my chest that wouldn’t budge either.Leaning back in my chair I stared blankly out into the office, what the fuck was I going to do, I needed a plan. The problem was I had never been in this situation, I had never felt more powerless than knowing I might h
StephanieI didn’t know what to think, looking at the man before me. He was a wreak. I’d never seen him like this the entire time I had worked here, he was always so slick and put together. Don’t get me wrong he still looked incredible as always just rough around the edges now.His usual crisp white shirt was crinkled with flecks of blood on the cuffs, his hair was ruffled as he continued to sweep his hands through it. The front always falling back into those piercing grey blue eyes of his. They held so much emotion in them it made me want to cry. I could see his love, need and desire for me, I knew he was doing his best to stay in control but if I left him, he would break.The feeling pulled at my heart a pain in my chest I hadn’t expected to feel. After speaking with Millie and Jess, I didn’t know how I felt about Jake. I had decided on the way to work that I was done, this thing between us needed to end. It wasn’t healthy our relationship to have this intense pull between us, all h
JakeI felt relieved to have her finally back home, I still had some work to do to fix things between us. But I was going to try.We had had dinner together and as much as I wanted to steal a kiss a time or two I didn’t, I needed her to know she could trust me. Plus, something she had said earlier had stuck with me. She didn’t think I had given her a choice. I wanted her to know that she did, even if after this Carter mess was over if she wanted to still walk away. I’d let her.The thought weighed heavy on my chest I knew the pain I would feel would consume me. I just had to hope that this time together I could prove to her that I am the man she needs to be with. There is that constant pull between us, I wanted things to be more than that or for her to know that what we had went deeper.I have told her countless times of my feelings for her; I knew she believed me. I also knew that if I continued to act the way I did then words alone would not be enough. For her I was going to try to