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But I shook my head, the movement abrupt. “Not anywhere close to needing to talk about that, Nic. Not now. Maybe not ever. I have many other priorities.” Despite the allure of being stronger, becoming a fucking vampire sounded like a nightmare—and not one I was willing to face today. I wrapped my arms around myself, cold without Nic’s proximity, and he drew a blanket over me, tucking it around my shoulders.

He opened his mouth like he might push the subject, but he didn’t, and I returned the conversation to the subject of my dad.

“It’s like this,” I said. “If Francois has Dad, he could be doing anything to him. He could be bleeding him a little bit each day. He could be draining him right now. We might already be too late, but I have to try. I have to be involved. He’s the last family I have left. If he’s with Francois, I can’t leave him there. No one deserves to rot in that house.” My breath shuddered as I drew in a deep inhale. “Maybe not even Francois. It’s an exercise in decay.”

Nic stroked my face, but he remained silent, and I spoke again.

“My dad isn’t perfect. Hell, he’s not even pretty good or average, but in his own way, he has loved me over the years, and my mom loved him. She chose him and married him, and I think he loved her, too. He didn’t get like this until he lost her. I owe it to my mom to do everything I can to get him back.”

“But…”

I held up my hands, stopping Nic’s next words. “You can’t say anything to change my mind.”

“What if I lose you?” He whispered the words so quietly, I barely heard him, and my chest tightened.

I shrugged. “I can’t lose him, though.”

My words sounded harsh to my own ears—I couldn’t imagine losing Nic or being asked to choose between his life and someone else’s. And maybe that was what I was asking Nic to do, risk me for my dad, who I was sure he didn’t really care about.

“Please,” I whispered. “I have to do this. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t at least try.”

“But you know what vampires are capable of. You know you could be putting yourself directly in harm’s way.”

I shivered. “I know the risks,” I confirmed, fighting against myself so I didn’t reach out to him for comfort. I wanted to be back in his arms and have him fix everything for me. “I think I just have to do this.”

He shook his head but it was with resignation rather than lack of permission or disagreement. Then he sighed. “But what if I can’t protect you? I’ve already failed you too many times.” He reached for me and tucked me against him, resting his chin on top of my head. “I can keep you safe here. I can control this environment. I have wards that protect the house.”

“I have to do this, though, Nic.” I splayed my hand over his chest, absorbing the warmth from his skin and feeling the steady thud of his heart against me. “This isn’t just another plea for a night out dancing. My dad is the last family I have, the last connection I have to Mom. I wouldn’t insist if it wasn’t important. I have to do this.”

He sighed again. “I know.” Then he moved. “Get dressed. I need to take you to see the others, tell them the new plans—and that they include you.” His face remained tight and drawn. He still wasn’t happy.

But I rolled from the bed and slid my pants back on then ran my fingers through my hair. “Ready.”

He grimaced. “I’m sure as fuck not. They’re not going to like this any more than I do.”

He led me downstairs like he was leading me to the gallows. When he opened the door to his office, Sebastian looked at me with wide, surprised eyes.

“Took you long enough to find her.” Jason grinned as he glanced up from some maps on the desk.

Kyle folded his arms. “I think we can all guess what took the time.”

My face heated, but I refused be intimidated. I glanced up at Nic and opened my mouth to speak, but Nic started to talk first.

“Leia is coming with us to find Jean.” His voice was tight, and his mouth barely moved as he formed the words.

“What? No.” Kyle’s arms tightened so much that his muscles bulged. “She’s a civilian,” he spat. “And worse, she’s a human.”

Jason’s eyes were as wide as Sebastian’s now. “This isn’t a good idea.” He shook his head.

“Well, it’s not my fucking idea, is it?” Nic rounded on him, arguing like I wasn’t even in the room listening to them talk.

Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t think you should even entertain this with her… With her—” He gestured toward me. “Like this.”

“Like this? What the fuck, Sebastian?” I was mad now, but I didn’t exactly know why. “So I’m good enough for you to keep smelling my hair but not good enough to help find my dad?”

I glared at him, and his cheeks reddened as Nic growled and stepped toward him.

Kyle stepped forward too. “How can she come if her presence divides you? We need to get our shit together. We don’t know where Jean is, if someone has him or if they don’t. We’re currently blind. We need to do better.”

I leveled a cool look at him. Then I glanced at everyone else. “I’m coming because Nic says I can and because no one wants to find my father as badly as I do. I’m the only one of us who knows what it’s like to be abducted by Francois. If he has my dad—” I broke off and swallowed. “Well, even my dad doesn’t deserve to be imprisoned by a vampire.”

Sebastian’s gaze turned sympathetic. “We’ll all do anything we can.”