Amber's P.O.V
Walking away, I immediately turn to flick her off before making my way back into my room. God, I can't stand her!Why did she have to be my mom out of all people?
There are over 6 billion people in this world and I just had to get her.
"You’re such a bitch." I hear Jack say from behind me. I turn around at the sound of his voice to see him leaning against my door frame. "You think I don't already know that?" I question as I place a piece of gum into my mouth. "You know you made her cry, right?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. I honestly couldn't help but laugh.The bitch cried, wow she's so pathetic.
"Why are you laughing?" He questions somewhat harshly. "How can you not laugh? Gosh, she's pathetic." I say trying to contain my laughter. "She's pathetic? Look at you. You're the one who's pathetic." He says, scoffing at me as he shakes his head before walking out. "That's not a very nice thing to say." I mock, not really caring about what he thinks. My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts and without checking the caller's I.D I immediately pick up, whilst waving Jack out of my room. "Party tonight hoe." Nina says through the phone, grabbing my attention. Nina and I have been best friends since we were five, along with Mia. It's always just been us three. No one could ever break the bond that we have built, no matter how hard they try. "What time?" I ask. "It starts at 8" "Bitch that's in an hour, what the Fuck?" I say as I look over at my clock, realizing that I had barely any time to get ready. "Well that sucks because you're going, you don't really have a choice." She laughs. "Who's party?" I ask out of curiosity. "Um...sammy's" she quickly calls out. She knows that I'm very infatuated with Sammy and that I always get nervous around him so why make me go?When he was here, I had a sudden burst of confidence that I doubt I would ever get again. I think my urge to annoy Jack completely surpassed any anxiety I typically feel around him in that moment.
"Well, then I'm not going." I sigh. "Come onnnnn Amber. It's a party, just go! It's not like he knows you like him so what's the problem? Plus, Jack will be there so it should be less awkward if you decide to talk to him." She explains, seeming hopeful to change my mind. "Nina, you just don't understand. You get every guy you want. I don't. And if Jack's going to that party then I'm definitely not. He's just going to ruin shit for me or try to embarrass me in some way." I explain whilst fidgeting with my nails. "Well, since I’m your best friend it's my job to get you to overcome your fears so, therefore you’re going. I'll be over in twenty. Be ready bitch. Oh and wear something sexy." She says before hanging up the phone without giving me the chance to protest. I look at my now black screen in disbelief. She really just hung up on me. "Well shit." I chuckle to myself as I continue to look down at my phone. Maybe I should go, I mean what’s the worst that could happen? Truthfully; I love parties, my life revolves around partying. I love the high you get right before you're officially drunk and the experience you feel each time you take a hit. I love that you can be your complete self and not be judged because everyone is doing the same things as you.I love being ‘the life of the party', it's such a thrill to me.
I just don't want to go to Sam's.I don't want to embarrass myself, I don't want him to think of me as something that I'm actually not.
Most people see me as a complete and utter bitch who cares about nobody but herself. Which makes sense because I make myself out to be that. I hide the my real self because I don't want to get hurt. Because, it seems like everytime I do, I'm the one getting the shit end of the stick. It’s been that way my whole life, especially with my mom so I refuse to show anyone my real colors. I hide it well. The real Amber Elstastine is a insecure, self-conscious freak. Who is absolutely worthless and tends to over analyze things. I get panic attacks that usually result in me shaking and crying like a child. I hate it. I hate myself. The only people who know those things about me are Nina and Mia. But… they don't know everything which is why I tend to party mu problems away. They don't know that I'm hurting on the inside. They don't know that I'm constantly crying and screaming at myself for being such a pathetic, revolting freak. They don't know that I walk outside everyday feeling insecure and judged. They don’t know about the secrets from my past. But then, again nobody will ever know that. I’ll never allow myself to be that vulnerable again. I'm taken out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing.Mia😻: are you going to Sam's party? I laugh as I read her text. Shouldn't Nina already have told her?Me: kinda have to now, Nina's basically forcing meMia😻: oh cool, can I borrow your red shorts? Really? Is she really only texting me for my shorts?Me: Smh, no you can't.Mia😻: Because?Me: because I said so.Read 7:15 I roll my eyes playfully as I walk into my bathroom and hook my phone up to my speaker. I then lock myself in the restroom and turn the knob of my shower to the perfect temperature. After doing so, I immediately strip my body down and stare at myself in the mirror with hatred. Why can’t I have the body of all of those I*******m models? Why can’t I be pretty? Why is my body shaped this way? "You're disgusting." I say to myself before stepping into the shower. I grab my sponge and pour some VS body wash onto it as the song life is worth living by Justin Bieber starts to play through the speakers.I sing along to the lyrics as I scrub my body clean while discarding away all of my thoughts. This is my favorite song in the whole universe, Justin's music seriously speaks to me. I sing along to the Melodic sound of Justin’s voice as I rinse my body off and step out the shower before wrapping my exposed body in a towel. As I walk into my room, I immediately start to shiver as the cold air hits my bare skin. I quickly look down at the clock to see that it's now 7:45, causing me to start to panic. "I only have fifteen minutes to get ready, that's not enough time!" I mutter to myself underneath my breath. I dry off any excess water and slide on my Calvin Klein thong along with my matching bra set. They weren't fancy but they were extremely comfortable. It's not like I needed to impress anyone with cute and sexy lingerie. Nobody has any sort of interest in me anyway. I make my way to my closet before deciding on wearing a black mini skirt along with a micro pink crop top to go with it. Once I was fully dressed in my chosen outfit I then bring myself over to my mirror before deciding on straightening my hair. I turn on my straightener and immediately go onto Sammy's I*******m while waiting for it to heat up. I go through his tagged photos and see a picture of him and some random girl kissing. A wave of jealous instantly came over me as I start to regret ever going onto his profile. I knew Sammy had a reputation as the school's fuckboy which makes sense since he's friends with Jack. All Jack's little group of friends do is sleep around with girls, fuck with their feelings, and then leave them after they get what they want. It's really annoying but to be quite honest, I wouldn't mind if Sammy were to use me. As long as I got the chance to have any sort of relationship with him. Even if it were just a temporary thing that wouldn't last a week. I just want him, or at least the chance to say that I experienced him. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my doorbell ringing. "Shit." I say as I look at my messy hair that so desperately needed to be done.Nina's P.O.V "Uh... Hey jack." I say, feeling my cheeks heat up as he answers the door. God, why is he so hot? "Hey gorgeous." He smiles. His eyes slowly rake my body, causing my heart rate to rise as our eyes finally meet once again. "Um, is Amber here?" I ask awkwardly as I place a piece of hair behind my ear. He opens the door wider for me to come in, allowing me to be greeted by Mrs.Elstastine- or Mrs.Gilins and Mr.Gilins. While talking to his dad, the feeling that someone was staring at me could not go unnoticed; and considering the fact that I was wearing ripped mini shorts and a crop top I figured it was Jack. I turn around to see him staring straight at my ass whilst biting his lip. I clear my throat and Jack's eyes immediately dart to mine. He slowly makes his way over to where his stepparents and I were standing as he just continues to stare shamelessly. Jack keeps that same smirk planted on his face, making me feel somewhat confident in my body. "I'm definitely gonna Fuck you later ." He whispers into my ear, low enough to where only I could hear. I nod my head off instinct in response, not knowing what else to say as Jack just simply walks away. I quickly make my way up the stairs to Amber's room, knowing my way around considering I've been here multiple times before. " Amber, are you ready?" I ask ignoring that intense moment with Jack as I walk into her room. "No, I still have to do my hair." She says sounding flustered. "Will you straighten it for me." She sighed while looking down. Why does she always look so sad and depressed?Amber's P.O.V Nina perfectly straightens my hair and I carefully place a pink and black headband on, being careful not to mess up Nina's hard work. I apply some simple and natural makeup with darker lips before opening the door to go downstairs. As Nina and I begin to make our way to the stairwell the sound of a deep voice stops me. "That's what you're wearing?" What's wrong with it? Should I change or something? I probably look fat and stupid in this outfit. "Yeah, do you have a problem?" I ask trying to sound as confident as I can. Jack scoffs at me in response, making sure to send me a disgusted look before pushing past me and walking down the steps before I could. I look at Nina and notice that she had a very amused look on her face as she stares at Jack, causing me to grow somewhat confused and annoyed. I decide to shrug both of them off and just continue my walk downstairs. "Hi girls. Where are you going?" My mom asks, sounding concerned. "Out." I reply bluntly as I give Mr.Gilins a hug goodbye while completely ignoring my mom. "We're going to Sam's party." I hear Jack say. I glare at him, before making my way towards the door. "Amber!" I hear my mom call out. "Bye, mother." I seethe before walking out the door with Nina, slamming it shut behind me. Nina looks at me weirdly but I just ignore her and act as if I didn't notice it. "Should we see if Jack needs a ride?" She questions, smiling widely to herself. "Um, no? That asshole can drive himself." I say as I jump inside her red Audi. "He's not an asshole." She defends as she starts driving down the somewhat busy roads. "Yeah...okay." "Where's Mia?" I ask in efforts to change the subject as I no longer want to waste my breath on the concept of Jack. "She's on her way, we're gonna meet her there." She explains. I simply nod my head as the possibilities of tonight start to play out in my mind. Tonight's going to be a long night.Amber's P.O.V "Are you really going to make me go through with this?" I huff in disbelief as we pull up to sam's house where groups of people can be seen making their way into the residency. "Relax, you'll thank me later." She says confidently as she turns off her car before applying another layer of lip gloss. I take a deep breath as I try to calm myself before looking at Nina who was now analyzing my expression. "Chill it's not that big of a deal, now get your ass out the car babe. We’re going to have a great time tonight!” She says as she hops out of her car, having me follow closely behind. We eventually make our way into the party and a distinct smell of smoke immediately fills my nostrils. As we look to find Mia through the crowd of people, we pass by many couples who were making out. I didn't care for any of them, but as we continue walking my eyes seem to land on Jack. Unexpected Anger immediately possesses my body as I
Amber's P.O.V "Teach me a lesson? What do you mean?" I ask, looking up at him with curiosity. He doesn’t respond and instead continues to guide me up the stairs, causing my anxiety to spike along with my excitement. I follow close behind him, seeing as I had no idea where I was going in this huge and foreign house. We soon come across an empty room having Sam quickly pull me into it before closing and locking the door behind us. I stand there awkwardly, desperately waiting for him to do or say something. "Take your clothes off." He says while looking down at me with a serious expression. Wow, that’s it? He’s not going to kiss me? Or call me beautiful ? Do I need to do something more to impress him? "And if I don't?" I ask while stepping towards him, trying my hardest to be sexy and seductive. I have no idea what I’m doing, I’ve only ever seen this type of stuff in the movies. I hope I’m
Amber's P.O.V I sit on the bed fully unclothed as an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and shame wash over me. I wipe away some tears that had fallen as I quickly grab my clothes and change into them before stammering out of the room. As I make my way through the halls, I desperately try to find someone that I know as more tears start to fill my eyes. I feel so dirty, so pathetic, so used and unwanted. I didn't think that if Sam were to use me that I would feel this way. I thought I would be happy and proud of myself for getting the guy I so desperately wanted. But I don't feel that way at all, I feel so naive. I can’t believe I allowed this to happen. As I push past a group of drunken people who were grinding against each other, I eventually spot Nina straddling Jack as they interlock lips with each other. Despite not wanting to see or interact with Jack in this moment I desperately need to speak to Nina so that we can leave. I couldn’t stand to be here even
Amber's P.O.V "Jack please just go away I'm not in the mood." I sniffle as I try to hide the tears that were streaming down my face. Jack looks around my room, noticing all the glass and clothes scattered around the floor along with the fresh holes that were punched into the wall. "What the fuck did you do?" He asked referring to my room. "Jack, please just go away." I ask as I wince in pain from my now bloody and bruised hand. The other figure that I was not able to see chuckles deeply before stepping forward. Sam? Why is he here? It’s bad enough that I have to deal with Jack's bullshit but I really don’t want to have to put up with him too. "You really that mad at me baby ?" He asks in an incredibly condescending tone. "Come on, don’t be mad. You still look so sexy, just forget about what happened, I can make it up to you." He says while looking my body up and down with a sense of desire. "Jack, why is he here?
Amber's P.O.V "Wake up!" I hear Nina say, slightly awakening me from my slumber. Her voice sounds hoarse and somewhat raspy, almost as if she had been screaming for five hours straight. The sound takes me slightly off guard as it’s completely different from her typical voice; but I know it's because she's been drinking heavily and throwing up all night so it should return to normal in no time. "I'm up." I slightly croak as I sit myself up in the bed. My voice was also strained due to all of the screaming and crying that I had done last night. "What happened to your face?" Nina questions somewhat bluntly. "Nothing." I dismiss, not really wanting to talk about last night's events. I knew that if I told her what actually happened she would confront Sammy and Jack. And truthfully, I'm too scared of what they might do to me if I tell anyone and risk pissing them off. "Okay well, what about your hand? Or your foot? Or y
Ambers P.O.V "Amber, finally. You’ve been in there for so long.” Mia exclaims as I take my seat down next to her. "Sorry. My bad.” I say with a shrug as I shove a few Sour Patch Kids in my mouth. "Yeah, well I just checked my Twitter page and- uh…have you been on there recently?" She asks, lifting her eyebrow at me as she appears to be slightly puzzled. My expression immediately changes, having me grow extremely concerned as I begin to remember everything people were saying about me on that app last night. "No." I say as I slowly pull out my phone before opening the Twitter app. Instant regret immediately rose in my chest as my Notifications center was filled with five hundred plus comments filled with hate. With every comment that I read, my self-esteem seemed to drop lower and lower. As I continue to scroll through all of the nasty words directed towards me, I find myself stopping as two comments in particula
Amber's P.O.VThe rest of the class period was a blur. I didn't take any notes or listen to anything that the teacher was saying as I instead chose to drown everything out with music. As I make my way down the halls in search for Nina I could hear many of the students whispering about me, which I tried desperately to ignore but I couldn't. I couldn't get over the fact the everyone hated me or the fact that I know that everyone's talking shit about me, even the teachers. But even with all of this, my mind kept going back to one thing...Jack. What did he mean when he said "might just have to give you another one" ? Was he going to hurt me again? I don't know what it is about Jack, he's so rude towards me but he also intrigues me at the same time. I don't understand what it is, or why I seem to get jealous around him but I don't like it. I don't like that I have this weird type of physical reaction towards him. All he does is hurt me either emotionally or physically ! He's
Amber's P.O.V As soon as I make it to my room I immediately close my door, not wanting to see Jack again. But within seconds of doing so he immediately comes bursting through my door. "Jack? What are you doing?! Get out. " I say as I stare up into his dark eyes. A smirk appears on his face as he starts taking a few steps towards me, causing me to take steps back. I look up at him completely baffled by what he was doing but secretly, a small part of me was intrigued. My back soon hit the hard wall behind me, trapping me between him. My body immediately heats up due to the close proximity, having me hold my breath as he stares down at me with a look of intensity. "Honestly... Amber." He starts, having me stare at him in curiosity and confusion. "I don't think you want me to leave." He says, as he grabs onto my chin, exposing my neck as he cranes my head up to look at him. "Jack-" I start before being i