Chapter 3 - The Art Of Hiding Feelings

“Hey, why did you ask to meet me yesterday?”

“H-Huh?” I’m with Blake and Carter today, we’re hanging at Margaux’s house.

“Last night. You asked to meet me at Brown Brick, remember?” He asked me, looking confused as to why I do not remember that I texted him.

“Ah, yes. Don’t worry about it, it’s not important.” I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, remembering the night I had. Asher is a nice guy, I had lots of fun talking with him over coffee. Maybe I should come over again some other time? We could have a real meal instead of just drinks and talk about something fun, not just our problems. It’s a great way to get to know each other more.

“Really? It sounded urgent, though.” He said and took out his phone, probably to read my text again.

“Maybe she just missed you.” Carter joined in the conversation and raised his eyebrows to tease me.

“Ugh, shut up.” I rolled my eyes and popped some chips in my mouth.

Hmm, I just realized I didn’t get Asher’s number. Whatever, so what! He didn’t ask for mine, why should I make the first move. And besides, why am I even thinking about him when I’m with my friends?

“Have you picked a movie, Margaux? I’m getting bored.” Carter said and yawned.

“It’s not easy, okay? I feel like we’ve watched all of the good horror movies, we should try other genres.” Margaux said while still browsing on her phone to search for movies.

I shifted my gaze to Blake. He’s smiling while using his phone, I wonder what he’s doing? Or maybe the real question is who he’s talking to. “Hey, where were you yesterday anyways?”

“What?” He asked and placed his phone down.

“Last night when I asked you to meet me, you said you can’t. What were you doing?”

“Oh, I know what he’s doing.” Carter calmly said with an arrogant tone. Blake quickly hushed him.

“Oh my God, tell us! This is more fun than watching movies, talking about Blake’s private life! Do you have a girlfriend?” I raised an eyebrow because of Margaux’s question. Does he have a girlfriend?

“Okay, fine. She’s not my girlfriend, okay? We’re just… talking.” Blake said in defense while smiling from ear to ear. He looks so happy talking about whoever the girl is.

“Yeah, talking nonstop you mean. And, flirting is involved!” Carter teased Blake even more. He and Margaux seem to be enjoying this a lot.

“Oooh! Okay, cut the chase! Tell us who she is.” Margaux screamed those words and sat closer to Blake, she’s really excited about the drama. Also because Blake doesn’t really talk to us about these types of things. I know he talks about it with Carter since they’re boys, they relate to each other more, but we know nothing about their interests in girls.

“It’s Angela.”

“Wait, what? Are you for real?” I jumped into the conversation. I can’t believe he’s into Angela! He listened to me and Margaux gossip about her!

Okay, I know it sounds totally mean to gossip about a girl, especially because everyone is more aware about women empowerment and girls lifting each other up (which is a good thing!) but we just can’t help talking about her! She’s a backstabbing bitch, okay? Me, Margaux, and her used to be close friends during grade school and she always steals Margaux’s crushes! Oh and one time, she spread a rumor about me only looking pretty because of makeup and everyone judged me because of it. I was too young to use makeup at that time and it wasn’t even allowed in our school because we’re in fourth grade at that time, I think. Even if I do wear makeup though, I don’t really think it’s a big deal for people to judge me because of it.

“Why do you even like her? She’s like, so mean.” Margaux said, not looking happy this time. I guess I wasn’t the only one disappointed in Blake’s taste in girls.

“Okay, maybe she is a little mean, but if you get to know her, she’s fun to be with! And she also matured a lot compared to when the three of you were friends, so I don’t think you’ll find her annoying now if you become close with her again.” Oh, of course he’ll be defending her.

I looked down and bit my lip. So that’s it, huh. He likes another girl and to make things worse, it’s Angela. I hate this feeling I get when I hear him talk about her. I promised myself I wouldn’t like him because I value our friendship so much but I guess once the feeling’s already there, you can’t really do much to get rid of it.

-

It’s a Tuesday, so we are currently at school. The day was pretty slow, we had our first lessons so we were just busy studying, nothing fun going on.

Lunch break came and again, the four of us were at the picnic table outside. Blake is reading a book while eating his lunch, I can’t help but stare. I’ve always loved how he is so focused on studying. He’s the type of guy who knows exactly what he wants in the future, and he has plans on how he can get to the life of his dreams. I find it really attractive when someone has a clear goal in life.

“Oh, why don’t you tell them about the boy you met at the cafe, Calista!” I was surprised when Margaux suddenly spoke to me. I can see her eyes sparkling with excitement. I told her earlier when we were hanging out at her place about Asher, now I kinda regret I did since I didn’t know she’s going to bring this up to the rest of the group.

That caught Blake’s attention. His eyes finally got off his book and he raised an eyebrow at me, curious about the boy Margaux was talking about.

“O-Oh. It was nothing, really. I met him yesterday at Brown Brick, he works there and he actually goes to our school as well.” That’s all I said about him. I tried to not mention his name because Margaux might try to find him and talk to him, I don’t need more embarrassment.

“Is he a nice guy?” Carter asked me but for some reason, he’s not looking at me, but at Blake. He then closed his eyes and laughed, “Damn, I always thought you guys were gonna end up together, now we’re here talking about you two with different people.”

“Okay, stop. First of all, Asher is just a friend, we just met. Yes, he is a nice guy. A nice friend. Nothing romantic, okay?” I assured him. Wait, maybe I should take that back? What if they think I’m denying Asher because I do like Blake?

-

Lunchtime is over and me and Blake are walking on our way to our classroom. Margaux decided to go to the library first to spend the little time she had left to study since she has a quiz on her next subject and Carter’s already in his class.

“Hey, earlier when we were talking about the guy in the cafe, were you talking about Asher Montgomery? I know him. He’s in my class, he just moved here this summer. Are you two close?” Crap. That’s right, I slipped and told them his name, great job Calista. However for some reason, I felt this kick inside me when Blake asked about him.

“Yeah, kinda. I mean, we only talked one time but we talked for a very long time and he even took me home after that. Isn’t he so kind?” I said, enjoying the look on Blake’s face. His reaction is blank actually, it’s kind of hard to read. He doesn’t seem happy, nor angry or sad. However, I am planning to make him jealous and I think it’s working, he’s just trying to conceal it. “Why are you suddenly bringing this up just now though?”

“I kinda figured you didn’t want Margaux to know a lot about him. I mean, we both know her, she’ll find Asher and talk him into getting with you.” We both laughed at that. Yup, that sure sounds like Margaux.

“Hey, Blake.” Shit. We turned around to whoever spoke to see who it was that called him, but I already know who that voice belongs to. Asher.

“Oh hey.” Blake greeted him casually. Asher is now walking with us since the two of them are in the same class, and my classroom is right next to theirs. Okay, awkward. I didn’t expect to suddenly see him right now when we were just talking about him! “What are we gonna do with our presentation for tomorrow again?” He spoke again.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll send you my notes later. And maybe we can talk about it some more after the 4th period? You know, just to be more prepared.” Oh, so they’re friends? And Blake didn’t even tell me?

“Sounds great.” He said and walked past us.

Um, he didn’t even look at me. Did he not recognize who I was? That’s rude, I thought we were friends already! And why does he look so unfriendly and mean? He looks so cold and intimidating, if we hadn’t met last night, I would think he’s a jerk.

“So… I thought the two of you were great friends?” Blake faced me, smirking. We stopped walking for a while so Asher could walk far ahead from us.

“I thought so too.” I replied, disappointment and confusion marking my face. I shrugged it all off and asked him instead, “You two were friends?”

“Don’t look so surprised, I told you we are in the same class.”

“Yeah, you did. But you didn’t tell me you were friends.”

“I’m friends with a lot of people, Calista, it’s not a big deal.” He said and chuckled, and we continued walking. He’s right. Blake is a social butterfly, he loves meeting new people and I think he’s friends with everyone at school. That’s also why he’s really popular around here. Aside from his extremely good looks, he’s also very friendly.

“Don’t make it so obvious that you like him.” He suddenly spoke again after a moment of silence.

“I do not! Just because I talked to you guys about him and I assumed we were friends doesn’t mean I like him.” I said with annoyance in my tone.

“It’s not just that, though. I can see your eyes gleaming everytime you talk about him.” He chuckled, but looking at his face, his reaction was blank again.

“Yes, because I’m curious about him since he’s new here. Curious doesn’t equate to liking him.” He lightly elbowed me, teasing me.

I hate how denying I have feelings for Asher makes him think I am in denial when I’m actually telling the truth! I don’t like him, I’m curious about him and I’m grateful for the kindness he showed me, that’s all. And besides, I kind of hate him now though because I’m offended at how he didn’t even look at me after being so sweet last night. It’s like he’s a different person.

I stared at Blake’s face, trying to read his reaction. Okay, I give up! I’m done trying to find out if he’s jealous or not. He probably doesn’t care, he’s in love with Angela, not me. If he does like me, he had plenty of time to tell me, he didn’t, which means he actually does not. I mean, the fact that he’s teasing me with Asher says a lot. He doesn’t feel the same way about me, he sees me as a friend, nothing more. I should learn to respect and accept that.

-

After our English class, I decided to go to the library to study for our Science pre-test. There was a 15-minute break in between the subjects and I wanted to spend it by studying. I need to get the highest score.

I was busy scanning the shelves, trying to find a book that could help me with my confusions for this class, when I noticed Asher on one of the library tables.

Once I’ve got the book I need, I walked over to him and sat beside him. “Hey.” I greeted.

Instead of replying, he just smirked, not taking his eyes off his book. I noticed he’s wearing earphones so he’s probably pretending not to hear me. I removed one earphone from his ear and said “Hey” again.

He looked at me this time and raised an eyebrow, asking what I needed. “Why are you listening to music? Who listens to music while studying, won’t that destroy your concentration?”

Instead of answering, he plugged the earphone back in his ear and said, “Quiet in the library.”

“Okay, I’m not even talking loudly,” This time, I took both earphones out of his ears. “Are you avoiding me?”

“Avoiding you? Why would I be avoiding you?” He asked, closing his book to shift his focus on me. He looked straight at me to the point that I couldn’t make eye contact. I looked at his book. Oh, fiction novel. He’s not here to study.

“I don’t know why you are asking me, I’m the one who should ask you that.”

“I didn’t want to steal your attention away from your boyfriend.” He said and took his eyes away from me. What is he talking about? My eyes widened because of his answer, I wasn’t expecting that from him.

“Who, Blake? He’s not my boyfriend.” I laughed awkwardly. “I don’t know why you’d even say that.”

“He won’t stop talking about you, and you two seem very close. Perhaps too close.” He said in a sarcastic tone, why is he being sarcastic?

“Yeah, because he’s my best friend. That doesn’t really explain why you would avoid me, what, just because you see me close with Blake?” I laughed silently. Okay, let’s say that he thought Blake was my boyfriend, so what? A lot of people get that impression because of how close we are, it’s normal at this point. Doesn’t really explain why he’d ignore me, that’s just rude, especially because I was looking at him the entire time earlier, waiting for him to notice me and he didn’t even look at me.

“God, are you stupid.” He whispered and chuckled. What? Did I hear that correctly? Did he just call me stupid!? I was about to get mad at him and call him out for being a jerk when the bell rang, signalling that it’s time for the next class. Asher quickly stood up and picked up his book, “See you later, Sommers.”

Oh. So he also knew my last name. I watched his back turn away from me, walking away. I don’t recall doing anything wrong, he was nice to me just yesterday, why the sudden change?

-

“Hey, y’all are gonna come see the pageant later, right?” Margaux asked Blake and Carter while we were walking on our way to school. “Please tell me you guys are coming. Cal and I arranged the whole event as student government officers so we have to be there. Please come with us.” She practically begged them. Margaux doesn’t really like participating in school events, but she was forced to run as an officer with me out of desperation to get higher grades.

I lifted my head up when we passed by Brown Brick Cafe. It’s now Friday, two days after Asher and I’s talk in the library. I never really saw him around school after that, not that I care. If he doesn’t want to be my friend, I don’t wanna be his either. Such a shame though, I had a nice first impression of him. Oh well, first impressions are never correct anyways.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Angela said she’ll need my help bringing her costumes and props.” Blake said and chuckled, smiling at the thought of supporting his girl. I cringed, trying not to show it in my expressions though since I don’t want to offend him or anything.

The pageant we were just talking about is the ‘Search for Miss Hillwood Academy’. I was crowned last year, but now, as school vice president, I’m just an organizer, not a contestant. The president in our school’s student council is someone from 12th grade, so I’m just elected as vice.

We didn’t really do much in school since everyone’s just excited for the pageant, I think even the teachers are preparing for it which is why we had boring classes.

5 PM finally came, it’s time for the pageant! We all arrived at the event place and took our seats. Margaux and I are sitting in the front row since we’re part of the organizers.

The candidates are now being called one by one, and they each start walking on the stage and introducing themselves.

“I like Candidate No. 4 the best. Who’s your choice? No. 4 is oozing with confidence! You can literally see how she’s a bad bitch and she knows it. Love that.” Margaux said with enthusiasm. I didn’t reply, I just chuckled and smiled at how excited she is because she keeps on complaining earlier about how boring this event will be, now she looks like she’s enjoying it a lot.

“Hey, bathroom break. Save me my seat, ‘kay?” I whispered. She nodded, so I stood up and left to go to the restroom.

When I got back, I didn’t return to my seat immediately, I am now just watching from afar, at the very back. I can’t help but wonder where Blake is. He said he’ll be here but I haven’t seen him yet, I know Carter won’t come.

My eyes wandered around looking for him, and I spotted him near backstage, with Angel, trying to calm her down. She looks nervous because she’s next in the line up.

“Candidate No. 7!” Once she has been called, I can see Blake fully cheering for her. I saw her look at him from upstage and winked.

That used to be me. The girl he’s supporting and cheering for.

I almost jumped when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turned around to see. Asher. “Oh my God, you scared me!” I said and held my chest dramatically. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“No work every Friday and Sunday. And even so, I could easily excuse myself from my uncle.” He replied with no emotions, just staring straight at the stage.

I focused on the show too. I watched as Angela lifted her hand to wave and she introduced herself. Her voice sounds so sweet and angelic. “She looks very pretty, right?” I asked unconsciously. I could feel Asher’s eyes on me now, so I looked back at him.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“Why, we’re watching. Aren't you enjoying the sight? Lots of pretty girls here.” I teased, which made him smirk.

“What a shame, I only want to be with one pretty girl right now.” I was shocked with what he said. I bit my lower lip, trying to hide my smile.

Next thing I know, he was holding my hand, pulling me outside the venue. I don’t know where we’re going, all I know is that I did want to get out of there and I’m glad he came.

——