Chap 15: [WSIT?] - TSLB (2)

The silvery water splashed up, like sparkling magic rays falling on the soft, beautiful little blue-violet flowers that fluttered in the wind.

A really beautiful flower.

But I hate its name, hate its story.

“Forget me not”.

It's such selfish, obviously knowing that she can't continue to be with him, can't bring happiness to the person she loves, the girl still wants the guy to never forget her, just embrace the sad ending of the love story for the rest of his life.

If I were that girl, this flower would be called “Forget me”.

“Forget me, keep moving, my beloved. I wish all the best for you.”

Today in front of the train station I unfortunately witnessed a catastrophic accident. Well, not an accident, a suicide. The man waiting for the train, who seemed polite at first glance, suddenly started talking to me, told me to stand back a bit. At that time, I just thought that he was careful, afraid of others being in danger. Unexpectedly, he’s the one who rushed into danger. A young man full of vitality, but in an instant, plunged into the oncoming train, only blood and flesh splattered. Perhaps he was afraid that I would get dirty by that flesh and blood. What a caring person, caring to the end of his life. But he doesn't know, if he hadn't said that to me, if he'd just been a stranger that I didn't even bother to look at, maybe his suicide would be less of a shock to me. I suddenly had a thought, life is inherently weird like that, there are things you think are good intentions, but have a bad influence. There are thoughtful thoughts that become others’ burden.

When returning, I discovered that in just one afternoon, cold rain and frost had overpowered this land. Five-thirty in the afternoon, the surrounding landscape is still covered in a light white mist, the sky is still bright but somehow feel gloomy, the roads are wet, the water on the moss green balconies is dripping drop by drop on the steps . . I subconsciously raised my foot to pick it up, drops of water dripped onto the shiny black toe of my shoe and slide to the ground. I kept walking in a daze on the road, dipping the toes of my shoes in standing puddles, the clear water was disturbed, and then seemed to be mixed with a little red light. My mind reeled in vague moments. “Step back”, if only I stepped back a little more.

I walked a little further, changed to another station. When passing by, I still subconsciously looked down. In fact, they had already cleaned it up, no trace of the terrifying scene from before was left. No blood, no markings, no police, no crowds, the station is just like normal. After all, people still come and go, the trains keep going, and the Earth won't stop rotating because of a person's death. It's cruel.

Or not. It would be great if they forgot about me so easily. If my parents stop crying for me, or the baby won’t hurt because of me, If my ending didn't hurt either of them, I wouldn't have to live in torment every day. Wouldn’t be miserable and painful now.

Rainy days, wide boulevards, lines of people crossing the white median, high heels and shiny leather shoes tapping on the soggy pavement. “Where are they going? Where am I going?” There are so many people, but how many of them really know where they are going.

I took the cake home. Luckily, today is the boy's eighteenth birthday.

After twelve o'clock tonight, it will be eighteen and one day.

I looked at the candle on the birthday cake, looked at the boy closely, wanted to engrave his image in my heart.

I remember very well, on the seventh day after the accident, I wanted to take him away with me. I don't know if he knew my intentions at the time, but he didn't protest. Just the last moment, I stopped. The boy's eyes stopped me.

At that moment, I realized he wanted to live. Such a strong and beautiful desire to live. Unlike me, excluding the pain of the past, he also has a future full of dreams. No one has the right to take that away. Despite the pain, this boy still wanted to live.

“Then live your life as resilient, proud and happy as your name is, Heter.

As for me, in this world I'm just a sunflower that can't find the sun, every day existence is a struggle with the pitch black darkness, each moment only gets thicker and thicker tired, desperate and pointless.”

- Heter, why didn't you come to the school today to say goodbye to everyone? – A girl in uniform used her bag to push the door, cheerfully asked the guy lying face down on the sofa.

- Hey, what song are you guys playing? Why it sounds so sad?

Not hearing an answer, she used her feet to shake the man:

- How are you? Pretend to be asleep?

Still no answer, she was a little confused, looking down.

- Why didn't you say anything? How are you?

- Are you… crying?

- What happened in the end?

Then suddenly, she remembered something, and asked tremblingly:

- Where's Helia?

He still didn't answer, she dropped her bag, turned around and ran into the room.

- Sister! Helia! Sister, wake up! – Her voice grew louder and louder. A few seconds later, she rushed out, rummaged through her bag and pulled out her phone – She was still warm, called an ambulance…

- What are you doing? – She looked surprised at the hand that was holding your phone, raised her voice – Are you crazy, take your hands off!

- Let her go!

- What nonsense are you talking about, let it go, I have to call an ambulance, maybe there's still time ... - She shook her hand, hoped to push his hand away, but couldn't, immediately used her other hand to remove his hand, even started scratching – Let it go, you madman, let it go! If not…

- I told you to let her go! – The boy suddenly shouted. – She has suffered for ten years. Fight hard for ten years, because of me. Ten years of reality was equal to how many years of mind?

- He… ter…

Her hands slowly let go, the phone fell to the floor. As if drained of strength, she sat down, staring blankly at the person in front of her who was biting his wrists to keep from crying. Then suddenly, she cried.

“Heter, maybe for you it was a leaving, but for me it was a return. I just want you to know that I love you so much, not because you're Heter, real or fake, just because of you. From the day I woke up from the accident, when I went through long days of torment, loneliness, disappointment, weakness and stupidity, I have always had you by my side, with your small but warm hands. You have supported my whole world to this day. Sometimes I think, virtual or reality is not that important. If no one is out there waiting for me, I will live here for a long time, waiting to see you make a career, fall in love, get married, have children, rely on your beloved and live the rest of your life. However, there are loved ones out there waiting for you. Even for you, my existence is a burden. I was so stupid, couldn't distinguish the truth from the illusions, kept shaking and holding back for so long. Finally I had the courage to shoose, no matter this choice was right or wrong, forgive me, my dear Heter.”

That song, still on repeat.

“Forget me, keep moving, my beloved. I wish all the best for you.”

“Forget me, but you know, I’ll never forget you.”

“I once had a very scary dream, like a movie, about a world with the evil twins kind, mingling with the people around us. I don't remember the details, only the last scene, at night, when humanity somehow lured all those creatures into an old school and set fire to destroy them. I was finally forced to choose my younger brother out of two identical children, then hugged, ran back to the assembly point. After that, everyone gradually returned to their usual life, the family reunited happily. But I still remember child left, still wonder if my choice was right.

I know, the child in the sea of ​​fire, its last look and tears will forever haunt me.

Forever, becoming an unhealed scar in my heart.”

Layla is standing in front of the balcony, looking out at the vast landscape outside. In her mind, there’s a scene of a girl standing still, looking at the back of a boy sitting on a towering scaffolding. In that boy’s hands holding a small old photo. On the photo, there’s a family of four with familiar bright smiles.

- Remember when I tried to sucide on the rooftop? Do you remember what you said?

- Do you know, those words… in this world, the person who is not qualified to speak to me the most is you?

- I hate you. I hated you before I even met you here.

- Why do you think that just acting like you've never met me is enough for me to believe?

“Just by your existence, I already know.”

The curtains fluttered, unable to see both of their expressions.

The boy has left. The sky left behind.

Who left whom? Who has left whose sky?