Chapter Three

Grief is not something to beckon with. It is something you ran away from. Avoid. I couldn't help the darkness anymore. I had been lying in there for so long, in indifferent perpetual cold. This couldn't have been heaven. Where was my goddess of the sun? It was too cold to be hell.

Gravity, the pull all and everything over again. I was still here. I just couldn't wake up.

My heart throbbed for my people. There was a void that could never be filled. Everyone spoke of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends but no one ever spoke of ex-family. My mother was torn to shreds and all I did was tremble like a coward. I couldn't save her; I knew I couldn't so I didn't even try.

Helplessly, uselessly, I watched the Azraels finish them off. Their ravenous dark claws pried my cousin's golden eyes and plucked them out like sunflowers.

How could they be so brutal? I watched it all and they never came for me, saving the undeserved dessert for last.

Father was already gone by that time - first in fact. The scent of his blood hung thick in the air, stinging our noses. Knowing that they could shred an alpha, was enough knowledge to conclude our demise.

I couldn’t lie here, nor try to make my actions accountable. I was awful, a waste. I should’ve been dead. Yaga would never accept me now. No, she will send me to hell.

My eyes opened. My senses came alive bursting with sensitivity. Sharp light, the smell of wood, men, wolves a lot of them all around me. My blood, sharp as metal scarring my nose. There was a man in the room, moving about, rubbing his dry hands together and mumbling too low for my sensitive ears.

Memories returned to me. I was saved, I hope, saved by that black alpha and his pack. Saved by the one I felt metallic to.

The sores on my skin stung and I hissed at the pain.

He rushed to me. Thick and golden-rimmed glasses were the first thing that captured me about him.

My strength allowed me to sit up, pulling up the covers to my body the minute they slipped off. He stared at me curiously.

"Hello,” he smiled at me, lines creasing at his mellow eyes.

He was lanky and in a white coat with gloves covering his hands. Old.

"Hi," I answered with a raspy voice, coughing to clear my throat.

He came closer to touch my arm; I winced back. He seemed kind and gentle.

I could take him if he tried anything, break him over my knee like a twig.

"No, I'm here to help. I need to check your vitals."

Could he read my mind?

“Yes,” he replied.

I kept my mind quiet.

Something was around his neck.

"What is that?" I whispered.

He pressed the round part on my chest. Cold metal. He listened, it amplified my heartbeat as I could hear it in his ears.

"Stethoscope, sweetheart,” he answered, still smiling warmly.

I frowned.

"It allows me to hear your heart."

"But aren't you a wolf? You don't need it," I probed.

He moved away and wrote something down.

"It's just nice to follow procedure."

My beating heart told me to run but my mind said I should stay and see. Which one was right?

He came back to hold my arm out softly, smiling the whole time. His voice was warm, like a cup of honey and tea.

"Thank you," I whispered but he didn't hear, instead he squeezed my forearm.

"Thank you."

His wise grey eyes met mine and his smile dropped slightly.

"Don't thank me. It was the alpha who ordered us to defend you, take care of you."

He walked from me to a drawer in the dark room. The only light was the one above me so I could hardly see what he was doing.

"Why?" I asked in deep curiosity.

“Why did he defend me?”

Most alphas were not generous to trespassers or anyone outside of their pack. Dad never killed trespassers but he’d interrogate them and let the pack decide the trespasser's fate. We weren't violent wolves, we had no fighting bone. All we had was healing and life, a blessing from Yaga our creator. But one thing about being a Sun wolf is that we didn’t heal as fast as other wolves but we were almost immortal. If they didn’t come we would’ve lived a hundred more years.

The grey-haired man’s coat shrugged at me, not glancing back as he fixed something.

"Is your hair naturally grey?"

His lips pursed at the question. "Yes."

He held a syringe.

"This is to protect you from diseases."

Its sharp edge glinted in the light and I felt uneasy.

"No, that won't be necessary. I'll be going soon. Right now, even." I stuttered, lifting my weight off the metal bed.

My legs never held me for one second and I fell forward. The man caught me in his arms. I thought I almost broke him.

"Sorry Luna,” he grunted and placed me back on the bed.

I frowned at him.

"That isn't my name," I told him.

Of course, he wouldn't know but for him to just assume Luna. Luna? Alpha's mate? I pushed the impossible thought out of my mind as I sat back painfully.

"It's Roman."

"Walter."

It was a decent name for a decent man.

"Now take this. It will help you."

"I'd rather not."

He scowled down at me.

"I just want to go home."

"Where's home?" he asked courteously.

When he asked that, my heart dropped to my stomach. The angst returned. For a moment I had forgotten.

Tears pleaded in my eyes. My head fell forward and tears dripped onto the sheets. I took in a deep breath and unintentionally sobbed angrily, unable to hold myself back. I was overwhelmed, this felt like the only time to grieve still, to sob without running out of breath from running. To weep before this stranger killed me. It was embarrassing to fall apart before him.

His hands hesitated around me. He didn't want to touch me. That made it worse. My fingers pressed on my face, covering the mess I became.

"I’m sorry… Roman,” he spoke difficultly.

I just shook my head and cried even harder. I couldn’t stop.