Khai and I walked home, hand in hand. It felt right like I’d combust into a million pieces if he ever let go of me. He had called it home when he suggested we return, so I eventually called it so. I had to call someplace home. I was glad to be in clothes I was familiar with but his clothes were better, cleaner, fancier. Softer.When we got home, he led me upstairs to his room where I made acquaintance with something called a shower that shot pressured water out of a head above me. The warm water added weight to my dreadlocks as I scrubbed them with some goo-like substance that smelled like lavender. Honestly, I didn't understand why I needed soap to be clean. Back home my siblings and I jumped into the river and swam around and called it a day. But here I was using soap and a towel borrowed to me. It was his, I could smell his DNA.I squeezed the jelly-like liquid and scrubbed my body with an artificial loofah.Through all the scrubbing I felt the need to scrub harder, the black marks
That made me nervous. Who was everyone? Was it all those eyes that cornered me that day? What would they even think of me?I'm certain they diagnosed me as unstable because I went straight into panic mode that day."Already?"I was satisfied knowing Jacob, Yolanda and the other girl alone. Oh, and his mother, whom I adored on the case of existence alone but everyone, who was everyone?"I want everyone to know. They need to know. The pack needs to be assured that the Luna has been found.""Khai.""They'll like you,” he said as he walked to the door.He stopped and turned his head back to me."They must,” he said darkly.“Please don’t force them to like me. I don’t think I’m that unlikable.”He guffawed.“I will try my best.”“Khai?”“Okay! I promise. It’s just hard. I’m basically on auto-pilot now.”I arched a brow at him. He rolled his eyes.“Fine,” he agreed and left.I was flushed, I could see the hints of red under my caramel skin.I could understand him. Perhaps that’s how things
"Ma!" Hannah reached out for her Edna but she slipped through her fingers.Edna had first picked up the dish thrown it into the sink and walked out through the kitchen door. Wind gushed at me as I was directly facing the door, leaving me with tension I didn't understand.Hannah went after her aunt."Was it something I said?" I asked, guilt-punching me in the face."No," Khai said with mindlessly. His mood had shifted too. All that joy was sucked out.Was it me? What had I done? Would anyone explain? I felt too afraid to speak again. It seemed my questions only upset these people.Whether it was me or not, silence refused to depart after that, everyone shared knowing stares while I sat there looking like a fool. Yolanda looked at Jacob who just sighed."I'll heat the pasta. Falcon, will you help me?" Linda suggested responsibly and continued where Edna had left off.Falcon was Hannah's mate and he was just average-looking. There was nothing impressive about his pale skin. Every time I
I found them in the living room."You will respect her as you do me. If you can't, leave," Khai growled.Eddie was kneeling, kissing the ground with his forehead as if bowing to him. His body trembled and I could see tears glistening in the light. His jaw clenched.Khai's eyes were a merciless icy blue. His expression twisted in anger.What had Eddie done?I could feel Khai's power, only slightly. I could only imagine the immense pain he bore into the back of Eddie's head. It was a gentle pain in my head, like the first signs of a headache."You will count your words, boy.""Khai? What are you doing?" I shouted.Eddie sniffled and struggled in grunts, curling into a ball."Punishing him,” he said.He kept his eyes focused on Eddie. The pain worsened.Eddie fell to one side, gripping his stomach and letting out a small scream. Linda walked in behind me. Her hands clasped her lips as she held back a scream. I watched her as she stood by the arch, watching helplessly in horror.That was
A few steps away from me, his stiffened. I would've been pleased to see him turn around and apologise if it weren't for a blood-curdling scream from outside. Followed by a loud growl and snapping jaws. Khai looked back at me, mortified.If he was angry earlier, he was enraged then. We ran outside.The scream became louder and more alarming.Yolanda and Jacob came out of the nearest room and joined us.So that was their room.They phased right there and then. Yolanda turned into a gracious tawny wolf and pounced out onto the porch. Jacob stood beside her, a strong grey one.Linda looked at me from the living room with her son. They both nodded to me with reverence as we came out.The cold licked my naked thighs and I regretted wearing the dress in the first place. The house was so humid while the outside was the exact opposite.Wolves.A brown wolf led two to a red-haired girl crying her lungs out.Grace.She crawled on her back as the brown wolf pounced on her. She bared her arms as s
War ensued around me. Hannah was attacked by two wolves. Falcon arrived and ripped one off her, throwing it into the trees with his mouth. The wolf hit the ancient oak tree with its back, curling up like a dying spider. Eddie and Kyle fought together as five wolves encroached around them. Linda's jaw came up with a bloody oesophagus, its owner dying under her. The little light in the dying wolf's eyes went dim as they looked at me.I staggered back, my feet weighing tons. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I was stuck here... again. Pure white snow turned red and furry as the packs tore each other from limb to limb around me. I couldn't watch it. I couldn't be here. No. Not again. I fell to my knees, drew my body close to me, shut my eyes and blocked my ears. I couldn't stand it. The flood of brown and sandy shades of browns and greys in on the snow - all I could see was home - my pack, the Azraels and death. I froze, not because of the cold. Apprehension flooded over me and
Why didn't they call us? A thought went.Hurry.I sense her, can you?Yeah.We can't lose her.Or him. All these different voices spoke in my head, I started to believe the nausea was getting deadly so I shut my eyes and they all pounced on me, tearing my skin and scaring me. The wolves clawed at me, howling for their injured alpha.I couldn't believe I had just injured an alpha.I tried to move but I was paralyzed, my ribs were broken.Claws were on my eyelids. I tried to filter the pain but it didn't help. They all climbed on me, at any moment whatever was holding my bones in place, my skin together would let up. Jaws sank into my shoulders and legs, stomach and face. I couldn't breathe or cry.Khai was near and he growled, snapping his jaws at the enemy. The voices kept on recurring, doubling in numbers. These weren't my thoughts. Khai tore some of the wolves off. His tepid tongue licked my face.Relax, they’re here. His voice was now in my head.I laid still and remained as calm
"I concur with Whitney." The man said, confirming my theory of the woman's name."I don't," Khai simply said."But-" the old man began."I'm done." Khai rudely cut off. His desiccated eyes signalled the end of this conversation.Whitney and the man stepped back and nodded simply.He was just done with the conversation, his interests were elsewhere. His eyes glared straight ahead at Grace who lumbered down from the stairs. She was approaching, barefoot on the snow, her eyes hesitant on his icy ones.He also walked straight to her. Grace held her hands out in defence."You! Grace you! You!" Khai shouted. He didn't have the words."This is all you. Look now, we broke the treaty for you!"Grace started breathing heavily, trying to explain, I could tell she was afraid of the consequences of what she did. Whatever it was, I was anxious for her. Grace shrunk under him, scared."Tell them, tell them all what you did."Khai was terrifying then. Grace cupped her hands and quivered."Say it!""
We found ourselves outside, everyone had transformed into their wolf forms. The majority of the pack had already gathered to watch. Malcolm stood opposite me, snarling and growling.Traga wolves, please hear me. This is not my doing but that of your great ancestor and Khai. This is not my will but that of your own. Blasphemy! A wolf shouted.The pack was clearly split into sides. Those who wanted to remain Traga wolves were in the majority, standing behind Malcolm. I saw many wolves I thought would be on my side.The only one on my side was Grace in her brown wolf form which shone red under the sun. Her love for Khai brought her here and also a pack that never chose her. My heart expected Yolanda to be on my side, Linda or Edna but they stood fiercely behind Malcolm.A howl ripped from the forest and a grey wolf appeared. Audrey. Her blue eyes were like ice.I will fight as well. she growledTwo against one is hardly fair, even for an alpha, Grace said.She stepped forward and nodded
I had not seen her in months. Her absence even made me believe she wasn't around anymore. I never passed her anywhere.Even at the funeral. I knew she was there but I didn't see her.“You better sit down,” Whitney warned.Grace glanced at her without any emotions and walked toward me. I stood up as she approached. She looked tired and broken.“I heard him before he went away," she continued.“If you want to make yourself useful, do it by going back to that room!” Whitney shouted.Whitney charged toward Grace. I found myself running to block her from striking Grace.I gripped her hand in my hand inches from Grace's face. Grace had her arms up in defence. Whitney's wide eyes locked with mine incredulously.“You will sit down!” I said in my alpha voice and it brought her down to her knees."Oh!" Whitney grunted and she found herself crouched on the floor.My voice was so heav
When the elders gathered in the living room, winter was coming to a visible end. Their eyes were still full of grief and heartache, but Raymond was as cold as stone.I told no one else about what Yaga and Khai told me to do after Audrey's reaction. I kept it to myself. Malcolm could read a difference in me but he couldn’t put a finger on it. Most of the time I avoided his advances and efforts to make something out of the proposed arrangement but I gave him no opening.My stomach turned; I could feel another war coming on.“Roman, the time has come. We understand that you may not want anything big but we will need it on paper,” Khai’s grandfather said to me.I sat alone on the single couch while everyone sat around me. This must’ve been how Khai felt when he led. All these eyes and weight on him. No wonder he was broken.My mouth remained sealed and I looked over at Malcolm who for once in one of these meetings was looking me directly in the eyes. Bold and immovable.“By the end of tom
I reached out for her and she moved her hand away. That's when I knew there was division between us."Do you know what you sound like?" she said as she glared at me.I shrugged helplessly."A colonizer.""Excuse me?" I breathed.I wasn't sure if I heard her right."I should've listened to Malcolm. You've made Malcolm a reliable source. Do you know how insane you need to be to make Malcolm sound reliable?" she shouted.The workers around us watched us and all the harvesting had stopped. Audrey saw the eyes and closed the space between us and lowered her voice."How dare you use Khai's name to justify your schemes," she said through clenched teeth."This is not my scheme Audrey. I don't want this either but Khai said-""How dare you?"Her eyes became glossy and she jabbed a finger in my chest."Doing that will eradicate everything that makes us Traga. You came in here and usurped our leader and now you
Winter covered the garden with its cold whiteness and a few months breezed past. The trees grew bare with leaves and frostbite crept up my fragile human toes.I never had to worry about these things when I spent every day and night as a wolf. My fur always kept me warm but as a human, which I spent most of my time as - I found sickness and shivering to be commonplace.They were generous with the mourning period but time was running out. I couldn't avoid the subject of marriage to Malcolm any longer. Eventually, the elders would end their kind silence and come to the house again.Intimidated and confused, I had said yes to marrying Malcolm under the condition that they would lend me the guard dogs in my fight against the Azraels. They had done that for me.This was against my moral code. Growing up, my father taught me to keep my word but then I felt Khai, heard him in my head and promised him I’d never marry Malcolm and see the plan through - my mor
It became apparent why I was here. Why it was the doorstep of the Tragas I fell upon. It was for this moment right here. Khai and I were nothing but collateral, a means to an end.I was but a small cog in the machine, a pawn in a chess game played by the gods. Traga was willing to sacrifice himself to Yaga so his children would get stronger and live longer. My blood would certainly guarantee that.After Khai left my mind and body I felt lonely. Lonelier than I’d ever been or believed was possible. I sat in the desert crying for what felt like an hour as the black hole in my chest gaped wider.I saw them looking for me in the distance and I ran to hide so I could cry all the cowardice out of me.I couldn’t continue like this anymore. I needed to take the first step. Move out of the passive and into the active.For the first time in a long time, I got on my knees and said a prayer.Give me the strength to see these plans through. Please soften the hearts of Traga Wolves so they may rece
The night went on and I left the crowd to sit alone with my fourth drink. I wanted to cry but my body felt too tired of all the sadness and pain. Also, I was tired of forcing smiles.I walked a mile off and sat on the dirt, gazing up at the moon.I’d never given the moon much thought till I came to Traga. All I cared about before was the sun and now I was of both the sun and the moon.As I stared the moon it began to glow. I kept my gaze fixed on it and I felt my blood rushing through my veins. I stood up to my feet as my heart pounded in my chest.What was happening?It went on for a while until my chest felt warm. Tears brimmed at my eyes as I felt it again. His love. His warmth, his presence glowing from inside of me.It was Khai. How?Roman. Khai?Yes. How? I laughed, a mix of joy and tears.How was this happening. I’d never felt so whole in my life. My
Ginos was a place out of town, randomly in the middle of the dessert like area. It was made of shipping containers huddled into a circle where people could sit and have drinks. They only served barbeque meats and alcohol. The air was heavy with spices, smoke and charred meat which made my mouth salivate.I couldn’t believe the Tragas had finally managed to get me off raw meat. I couldn’t imagine eating it.We joined two tables and sat together, the loudest group in the whole place. Hannah, Falcon, Jacob, Yolanda, Audrey, Malcolm, Linda and apparently Greg was coming. The idea didn’t excite me and I felt that it was disrespectful seeing as Khai was barely gone for a week and she was already going over his head.Khai never wanted Greg around them. He could do nothing about Linda’s love for him but he made it clear he didn’t want him around other wolves.I didn’t have the energy to argue and fight a losing battle. No matter what I said, Linda would justify his presence in her head. And on
The guard dogs ran ahead of me, howling in celebration. I turned my head away from the corpses and tried to convince myself I was walking back from somewhere else. But I couldn’t forget what I did, not while I had his skull in my mouth.The howls filled the air all the way back to Traga land. Outside the house many wolves in their human forms had gathered, ready to receive us. They were so excited to see us, cheering and joyful that the reign of Azraels was finally over. I placed Intiyago’s head in the middle of the garden and everyone erupted in joy.Where was my joy, I wondered. I couldn’t feel a thing.Intiyago haunted me for so long, made my life a living hell and now that I had ended him I felt no joy nor sense of completion. I entered the house and phased into a human in the kitchen.My behavior offset them but they continued to cheer and celebrate outside, hoisting Intiyago’s head and parading around with it. The house was e