With that, I launched into the forest, following my nose. Their smell hurt and that had to end. It had to end. I was going to end them. After all they put me through I would kill them slowly.The strength I felt pulsing through my veins and the size I was at then, I could taste their blood on my tongue. I wanted to tear them to shreds, starting with every pack member and ending with dessert. Intiyago. I wanted to first tear him from limb to limb and crush his skull.Tears tore from my face in the wind, my heart still mourned and I howled painful howls as I followed my nose. Yaga and Traga must’ve given me this power to do this exact thing. This would be for everything. For my pack, for the lives they took from Traga and lastly for Khai.Navigating through the trees was hard this time, I wasn’t as small as I used to be so I could not fit into places I used to. I was bigger, stronger… an alpha? Not only was I bigger, but I was also heavier and therefore slower.A few hits from miscalcul
I could hear them just as we were a few trees from the main house.Abomination!Surely you cannot expect us to bow to a woman. This is not something we decided for ourselves; it was placed upon us. Have you lost trust in your ancestors?The last voice was Khai’s grandfather, to my surprise he was defending me. It seemed he was the only one on my side.Malcolm placed me on the ground. The sun hid behind a couple of clouds and I was still helpless as my body healed at a snail’s pace. If I had been like other wolves I would’ve healed by now. Intiyago’s head would be between my jaws. My body boiled with anger and rage and a surge of power I had no business having. This must’ve been what Khai experienced when he suddenly became the alpha.No, but that couldn’t be. I wasn’t the alpha. Firstly a foreigner, no matter how long they have assimilated to a pack, could never become an alpha but a woman... That was impossible for natives.The whole pack had been summoned, perhaps by my transformat
I was told I was not needed for the meeting that was happening in the living room. What could I say for myself anyway? I could hear them shouting from downstairs, anger and confusion laced in their voices.Audrey and I sat in Khai’ and I’s room… my room. She dressed up in Yolanda’s sweater and jeans and she looked better in them. As I was dressing up in the bathroom Audrey had already made the bed and put everything away.“It still smells like him in here,” she said as she folded a blanket and put it away in the wardrobe.“You didn’t have to do that,” I said as kindly as I could.Inside I was fuming. How dare she change everything? The room was so neat and tidy it was like any other day. She smoothed the bed until it had no wrinkles before she sat on it.“I cannot sit in disorder,” she stated.Her face was placid and innocent, I couldn’t find it in myself to yell at her
Before I could get to know Audrey better Yolanda came to call us. Yolanda and Audrey’s relationship was characterized by brutal teasing, nothing was off the table. Yolanda only needed to say a sentence before Audrey criticised it.“Where did you pick up that atrocious accent?” Audrey asked as we walked down the hallway.At the first step, Yolanda tittered.“Must’ve been from those years when you tutored me. Heads up, read a book before you think you can lecture someone.”“I love to see you taking initiative, I didn’t know you could read.”The two giggled between each other. I didn’t know how to feel about the jokes though, since I couldn’t read.It never mattered if I could read or not back home, what advantage would such a skill afford a culture of people who hardly read? School didn’t exist either, at least in the formal sense. All older wolves saw it as their responsibility to educate those who were younger than them. One morning I’d find myself hunting with my father and the next,
Malcolm’s eyes fell on me, cold and stern.“This is not Malcolm’s idea, it is simply tradition,” Raymond said calmly.“Yes… but I am the alpha, I can rule that tradition out of the book,” I said.Raymond’s face hardened. He stood up and stormed toward me. His hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt as he pulled me up to his level.“Haven’t you caused enough trouble, bitch? You will do as we say and fix what you broke.”His voice was coarse, hot on my cheek.“Raymond, calm down! Leave the girl alone!” Edna protested.With all his strength he threw me back into the couch and I sat back down. I tried not to show it but my heart was racing and I was scared. Raymond was a large man, akin to a bear. If we wanted to, he could’ve thrown me into the wall and broken through it.“Roman, I hoped I didn’t have to make it explicitly clear but
That night Khai’s bedroom was cleared and they only left the mattress. The room was as bare as carcasses my brothers and I left stripped of any flesh after a hunt. His smell went along with everything and all I could smell was the stench of cigarettes, old, from when Khai used to smoke as a teenager.The room was to be the main room of mourning. Whitney, Edna, Yolanda, Audrey and I sat in there with scarves covering our heads and the longest dresses and skirts we could find. Tradition was the reason for everything lately. We were supposed to sit there and mourn until the sun came up and the funeral began.I didn't want to do it, it sounded miserable. But then I realized I was nowhere above misery and I was the one who spent days with a corpse in bed, pretending and hoping he would wake up and call it all some foul joke. That never happened.Although I wasn’t officially a widow I was considered one. We never got down to tying the knot but his ring hun
The hours went by and people stopped coming. Most must’ve been sleeping but I could hear them outside, mourning and crying, their whispers like the wind whistling through leaves.Before I could notice, Edna had curled into a ball and fallen asleep. Yolanda said she was going to the bathroom, but she never returned for a very long time. Audrey and I sat in silence for 20 minutes, just staring off into the darkness and the shadows that danced along with the candle flames.“She’s with Jacob, you know?” Audrey mentioned matter-of-factly.I looked over at her and her face was deepened by shadows, the crevices of her smile were like dark corners. The statement didn’t surprise me – rather I was absorbed in the atmosphere of everything. How dark and gloomy everything had gotten, how everybody’s smiles had turned into tears and clenched teeth. It only took a single moment.“How has this affected you?” I asked her.The question scared me at first, I was afraid she would give me something intell
A blur turned into a man with long hair, hunched forward, his back to me. His shoulders moved up and down as he sat on the other end of the mattress. Sunlight poured into the room and it was warm.“What do you want Malcolm?”“Alpha,” he said dully. I groaned.“Please don’t call me that.”“Thank you, I wasn’t enjoying it.” He simply said.We were alone in the room, Edna and Audrey must’ve left for breakfast or something. A little tingle in my stomach made me desperately want to see his face.“Hey look at me,” I told him and he adjusted his weight.His hair was wet, dripping still and parted in the middle. He looked clean, it suited him to be clean.“Why do you keep long hair, you look like a songwriter,” I said.A small smile etched upon his face and I had no idea why it felt good. I hated it.On the other hand, my arms felt like they had been squeezed into immobility and my body was heavy. My nose was runny and I sniffled. I had been lying on one side the whole night, crying in my sle
Malcolm was ravenous and relentless. The resistance I felt to fight him looked like it didn't exist in him. He clawed and he bit, he pulled and tried to tear but my body was too strong as an alpha. I turned to him as he was on me and bit into his shoulder. He howled painfully and kicked himself off me. Malcolm, surrender, please. Khai would want you to live.
We found ourselves outside, everyone had transformed into their wolf forms. The majority of the pack had already gathered to watch. Malcolm stood opposite me, snarling and growling.Traga wolves, please hear me. This is not my doing but that of your great ancestor and Khai. This is not my will but that of your own. Blasphemy! A wolf shouted.The pack was clearly split into sides. Those who wanted to remain Traga wolves were in the majority, standing behind Malcolm. I saw many wolves I thought would be on my side.The only one on my side was Grace in her brown wolf form which shone red under the sun. Her love for Khai brought her here and also a pack that never chose her. My heart expected Yolanda to be on my side, Linda or Edna but they stood fiercely behind Malcolm.A howl ripped from the forest and a grey wolf appeared. Audrey. Her blue eyes were like ice.I will fight as well. she growledTwo against one is hardly fair, even for an alpha, Grace said.She stepped forward and nodded
I had not seen her in months. Her absence even made me believe she wasn't around anymore. I never passed her anywhere.Even at the funeral. I knew she was there but I didn't see her.“You better sit down,” Whitney warned.Grace glanced at her without any emotions and walked toward me. I stood up as she approached. She looked tired and broken.“I heard him before he went away," she continued.“If you want to make yourself useful, do it by going back to that room!” Whitney shouted.Whitney charged toward Grace. I found myself running to block her from striking Grace.I gripped her hand in my hand inches from Grace's face. Grace had her arms up in defence. Whitney's wide eyes locked with mine incredulously.“You will sit down!” I said in my alpha voice and it brought her down to her knees."Oh!" Whitney grunted and she found herself crouched on the floor.My voice was so heav
When the elders gathered in the living room, winter was coming to a visible end. Their eyes were still full of grief and heartache, but Raymond was as cold as stone.I told no one else about what Yaga and Khai told me to do after Audrey's reaction. I kept it to myself. Malcolm could read a difference in me but he couldn’t put a finger on it. Most of the time I avoided his advances and efforts to make something out of the proposed arrangement but I gave him no opening.My stomach turned; I could feel another war coming on.“Roman, the time has come. We understand that you may not want anything big but we will need it on paper,” Khai’s grandfather said to me.I sat alone on the single couch while everyone sat around me. This must’ve been how Khai felt when he led. All these eyes and weight on him. No wonder he was broken.My mouth remained sealed and I looked over at Malcolm who for once in one of these meetings was looking me directly in the eyes. Bold and immovable.“By the end of tom
I reached out for her and she moved her hand away. That's when I knew there was division between us."Do you know what you sound like?" she said as she glared at me.I shrugged helplessly."A colonizer.""Excuse me?" I breathed.I wasn't sure if I heard her right."I should've listened to Malcolm. You've made Malcolm a reliable source. Do you know how insane you need to be to make Malcolm sound reliable?" she shouted.The workers around us watched us and all the harvesting had stopped. Audrey saw the eyes and closed the space between us and lowered her voice."How dare you use Khai's name to justify your schemes," she said through clenched teeth."This is not my scheme Audrey. I don't want this either but Khai said-""How dare you?"Her eyes became glossy and she jabbed a finger in my chest."Doing that will eradicate everything that makes us Traga. You came in here and usurped our leader and now you
Winter covered the garden with its cold whiteness and a few months breezed past. The trees grew bare with leaves and frostbite crept up my fragile human toes.I never had to worry about these things when I spent every day and night as a wolf. My fur always kept me warm but as a human, which I spent most of my time as - I found sickness and shivering to be commonplace.They were generous with the mourning period but time was running out. I couldn't avoid the subject of marriage to Malcolm any longer. Eventually, the elders would end their kind silence and come to the house again.Intimidated and confused, I had said yes to marrying Malcolm under the condition that they would lend me the guard dogs in my fight against the Azraels. They had done that for me.This was against my moral code. Growing up, my father taught me to keep my word but then I felt Khai, heard him in my head and promised him I’d never marry Malcolm and see the plan through - my mor
It became apparent why I was here. Why it was the doorstep of the Tragas I fell upon. It was for this moment right here. Khai and I were nothing but collateral, a means to an end.I was but a small cog in the machine, a pawn in a chess game played by the gods. Traga was willing to sacrifice himself to Yaga so his children would get stronger and live longer. My blood would certainly guarantee that.After Khai left my mind and body I felt lonely. Lonelier than I’d ever been or believed was possible. I sat in the desert crying for what felt like an hour as the black hole in my chest gaped wider.I saw them looking for me in the distance and I ran to hide so I could cry all the cowardice out of me.I couldn’t continue like this anymore. I needed to take the first step. Move out of the passive and into the active.For the first time in a long time, I got on my knees and said a prayer.Give me the strength to see these plans through. Please soften the hearts of Traga Wolves so they may rece
The night went on and I left the crowd to sit alone with my fourth drink. I wanted to cry but my body felt too tired of all the sadness and pain. Also, I was tired of forcing smiles.I walked a mile off and sat on the dirt, gazing up at the moon.I’d never given the moon much thought till I came to Traga. All I cared about before was the sun and now I was of both the sun and the moon.As I stared the moon it began to glow. I kept my gaze fixed on it and I felt my blood rushing through my veins. I stood up to my feet as my heart pounded in my chest.What was happening?It went on for a while until my chest felt warm. Tears brimmed at my eyes as I felt it again. His love. His warmth, his presence glowing from inside of me.It was Khai. How?Roman. Khai?Yes. How? I laughed, a mix of joy and tears.How was this happening. I’d never felt so whole in my life. My
Ginos was a place out of town, randomly in the middle of the dessert like area. It was made of shipping containers huddled into a circle where people could sit and have drinks. They only served barbeque meats and alcohol. The air was heavy with spices, smoke and charred meat which made my mouth salivate.I couldn’t believe the Tragas had finally managed to get me off raw meat. I couldn’t imagine eating it.We joined two tables and sat together, the loudest group in the whole place. Hannah, Falcon, Jacob, Yolanda, Audrey, Malcolm, Linda and apparently Greg was coming. The idea didn’t excite me and I felt that it was disrespectful seeing as Khai was barely gone for a week and she was already going over his head.Khai never wanted Greg around them. He could do nothing about Linda’s love for him but he made it clear he didn’t want him around other wolves.I didn’t have the energy to argue and fight a losing battle. No matter what I said, Linda would justify his presence in her head. And on