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31. Lies To Myself
Last Updated:
2023-01-15 23:14:14Related chapters
Second Fated Mate 32. Flower maiden
Esmy POV I couldn’t understand why Donna was still pissed at me,we weren’t in a competition,she had what I wanted in a family and I wasn’t even jealous of her anymore. Flynn was awfully quiet today,maybe he had his own demons that he was fighting with or he didn’t just want to talk to me. I would have asked him but I was in my own word too and talking to him wasn’t going to help me think properly. It was Killian and how his lips would have been perfect on my lips,I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I knew it wasn’t what I should be thinking about but it was in my thoughts,I couldn’t erase it no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t even want to talk about how disgusted I felt when Mikel kissed me without my consent,I wouldn’t have allowed him go any further if he hadn’t calmed me down. I was going to have to take my mind off Killian,he wasn’t mine and he wasn’t even going to be mine. Paula was back to take her man,I didn’t stand a chance. Donna was a hateful person,I would have rep
Last Updated : 2023-01-16Second Fated Mate 33. Dead
Killian’s POV I was bent on finding out who Rogers was,I didn’t think Esmy would be okay with the fact that I was going behind her back to find whoever Rogers was to her. I couldn’t just keep calm,I was going to do what I could do for her to know and understand where she was from. That was one thing I was certain of. I also wanted to know how my mother was related in all of these. Calling the orphanage might raise suspicions but I was sure I could get answers from the Nun,she looked open minded and was ready to say what she knew,maybe she needed to dig deep to help me find out how to get in touch with the pack. I would have asked my secretary to call but I wanted to be discreet about this,I didn’t want it going out that I was curious about her family lineage. The phone kept on ringing without no answer,The Nun didn’t have my number so I was very sure that she wasn’t avoiding it because it was my number. Maybe I would just try back,I needed to know about Roger,he was the key in
Last Updated : 2023-01-17Second Fated Mate 34. Hallucinations!
Esmy POV I couldn’t help myself,I stared at Killian and how he couldn’t stop himself from looking at Rogers lifeless body. He was the only person that could tell me who my parents were and he was dead now,I didn’t know what I was going to do. Killian kept asking me if I was okay,I couldn’t say anything,I wasn’t okay,I thought coming here was the way to getting answers to all the questions I had in my mind. “Can we go”I told Killian. I didn’t want to be here anymore,I didn’t want to look at his face anymore, I just needed to be out of here. Killian finally left the scene of the Murder,he took me with him. “Are you okay Esmy?”I could see the concern on his face as he was asking me the question. I felt faint,I couldn’t breathe properly,my eyes were burning I knew what happened to me before it happened. I could hear Killian calling my name,it was very faint,he was calling me and I was trying my best to respond to him but I couldn’t find the right words to say to him. “Esmy,Esm
Last Updated : 2023-01-18Second Fated Mate 35. A present
Esmy POV I was angry at Mikel,I didn’t think he would be so insensitive to my feeling,we might have not consummated what we were on about but he shouldn’t be doing this to me. Mikel looked through the window and he saw me,he was shocked,he didn’t know I would be here. I didn’t think Killian bothered telling him that I was here with him. That was one of the nicest thing he had done. I didn’t know why Mikel was coming towards me,he should have just stuck with the woman he was with. He didn’t have to come here,I was feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t know if I could talk to him now. I wasn’t thinking straight and I didn’t want to say something that was going to blow out of proportion,I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone. I wanted to be left in my own thoughts so I could compose myself. Rogers was dead and all I really want to do was find out who murdered him,it was mysterious that he was dead immediately Killian found him and was taking me over there to find out things by m
Last Updated : 2023-01-19Second Fated Mate 36. Confused Hearts
Esmy POV “Do you want him here?”Killian asked with his Jaw set like he always did when he was deeply thinking about something. “Why are you asking her that”Mikel said trying his best to sit up,he had been in a laying position. “Let her speak”Killian told him with one of the tone he rarely uses. “Esmy,Do you want me here?”Mikel asked looking at me with that look that made me melt. The look that made me believe that we might have something between us. I had to look away,I didn’t want to be biased in the deciding I would made,I couldn’t look at Killian too,he was angry but looking at him made me remember how his lips tasted on mine. I was torn between two brother,I didn’t want Killian getting angry at me but I was very sure that I didn’t want Mikel leaving the house if I wasn’t sure that he was going to the hospital. The two brothers were looking at me. Killian was looking at me like he wanted me to say what was in my mind. Mikel was looking at Killian like he wasn’t supposed to
Last Updated : 2023-01-20Second Fated Mate 37. Endless Try
Killian POV I was angry at myself for thinking she wouldn’t go after him,I was angry that I thought she was going to choose to stay instead of going after Mikel. “Did you really mean what you told her”Paula asked coming up the stairs I knew who spoke but I wasn’t ready to talk to her,she shouldn’t be here in the first place I had to tell Susan to stop letting her in like she owned the place,people needed to start asking me I’d they could come into my house before they were allowed in,I would have this discussion with Susan. “Look at me and tell me that you don’t feel anything for Esmy”Paula shouted She was very good at shouting,she did that too well,she didn’t know how to voice her thoughts calmly,she always wanted to be in a shouting match,I didn’t want to be in that with her. I couldn’t do this with her now. I couldn’t do this with anybody now,I just wanted to sit down with my laptop and get myself to do things I had missed because I wanted whoever Rogers was to have a befitt
Last Updated : 2023-01-21Second Fated Mate 38. Finally!
Esmy POV What had just happened to me?? Why was everything crumbling in front of me,I knew I didn’t have a sterling relationship with her but I couldn’t believe that she could accuse me of stealing from her. I wasn’t a thief I was really surprised that she would think I would take something that wasn’t mine. I didn’t know what Killian was going to do,we hadn’t seen or spoken since I left with Mikel,Mikel brought me back home immediately he explained everything to me. I wasn’t really paying attention because I just wanted to come back home and talk to Killian. I came back and I saw that he hadn’t been done after he went to his room. “Can I go see him” “You can’t”Susan said after she took her time in answering me “he is angry”She added I could remember this conversation because it happened I came back home yesterday. I didn’t think he would have gone away from the house because he didn’t want to see me,this meant that I still had time to fix what I might have just ruined. Paul
Last Updated : 2023-01-22Second Fated Mate 39. Chocolates
Esmy POV It was days after the prom. Everybody has settled to the normal ritual of me going to school earlier than the time Killian was going to work or Killian leaving the house before me. That had been the way things had been since the prom and since I told everyone that Mikel had decided to mark me as his mate. A male wolf will mark his mate by smelling the female wolf's genitals. She will produce sex hormones that he will be able to smell when ready to breed. This can be picked up by many other males in the wolf pack, however the alpha male is usually the only one to breed in a pack. After school today,I had decided that I was going to see Mikel,he had not been in the house since he dropped me off from the prom. I didn’t ask him why because I didn’t even want him coming to the house,he needed to avoid here because if didn’t know if Killian was still angry or he had relax. I didn’t tell him I was coming,I wanted it to be like a surprise. I didn’t know if he liked being surpr
Last Updated : 2023-01-23
Latest chapter
Second Fated Mate 150
Esmeralda's POV.I had told Killian that I wanted to ride in a convertible and the man went ahead and got the deal done.About twenty minutes after I told him what I wanted, I saw myself in a red convertible, sitting in the passenger seat. The hood of the car was tucked in the back and my hair was caught in the wind and I was laughing hard.After what happened in the hotel room, we both got dressed up. Well, I got dressed up while he watched and when I finished, we went to a boutique to get him some clothes and that was when I told him that I wanted to ride in a convertible.I was caught off guard when we walked out of the boutique and a red convertible was waiting for us and not just that, there were four wrapped up weeds waiting for us in the glove box.He offered them to me along with a lighter.When he gave them to me, I was surprised. He really was listening to me and he really had the contacts for everything and everyone.The minute I took them, I laughed so hard because I found
Second Fated Mate 149
Camille's POVI had been worried sick ever since Killian brought home my son. He was not healing but he was alive and what was more excruciating for me was that he was in pain.I had never known a time in my life that I had been through such a thing before. I had never seen someone else undergoing this ordeal. It was all too sudden and new to me that I didn't know how to feel, nor what to do.The only emotion I could recognize when I thought things through was worry. I was undeniably worried about my son. I was so worried that I started to doubt if it was a good idea to bring him back. Killian had claimed that he was treating him and from how confident he sounded, he seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing and what was going on.I didn't. The person who even talked me into doing this was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't guess what Paula got from this game of hers. Paula had called me one evening and told me about where Mikel was and how he was fairing. I couldn't have guessed t
Second Fated Mate 148
Killian's POVI laughed as I watched her laugh. Esmeralda had such a beautiful laugh.Coming to Berlin was impromptu, I was just in a hurry to show her that she was wrong to think life was so simple, that with me, this was the least of things that she would enjoy.Everything was perfect. The night was perfect, when I walked out of the bathroom, when I saw her naked on the bed, she was perfect.On her knees, doing a bad job at sucking me off, she was perfect.Everything felt like a dream, that for once, I get to be happy, I get to accept Esmeralda.What I couldn't stop thinking about was when she said those words to me.When she told me that she loved me. I had been busy staring through the window, looking at the city and how amazing it looked. I was happy that I brought her with me. Berlin was a beautiful place and it was one of my favorite cities and being here with her was perfect.I could've taken her to Paris but I wanted to go to my favorite places with her. I wanted to leave a
Second Fated Mate 147
Esmeralda's POV I was suddenly overtaken by a sense of panic. I feared what it meant. I had never given it much thought before, I had never wondered what would become of my life since I developed these feelings for Killian. I had never worried much about anything. But now, the thought has succeeded in creeping into me, making my hands shake and my whole body spasm. I was standing in the middle of the room, Killian had excused himself, he wanted to make a call, probably had to do with the surprise that he was planning for the evening. I was left alone with my thoughts. I had never hated being alone, I had never hated being the one left in a whole. I didn't care about the loneliness, I didn't fear my thoughts because I always felt that they were just thoughts and there was nothing more to it. But here I was, overpowered by my thoughts. I kept thinking of what would happen to our lives, I kept thinking about how the trajectory of our lives have been altered. Killian has never men
Second Fated Mate 146
Esmeralda's POVI bit my lip and realized that those words were dominating and as such, I was expected to be submissive.Killian was punishing me for whatever I might have done. He did mention that he was going to punish me but my brain has forgotten what I could've done because I was more focused on his finger that is buried inside me turning in circles, thrusting in and out in a slow motion.He dropped my leg that he had been holding, then he removed his finger from inside of me. I was disappointed because it wasn't what I wanted but then he took my hands and pulled it thereby lifting my upper body from the bed."You're not a pillow princess so don't act like one". He scolded."What do you want me to do?" I asked him.He guided my hand and placed it on his very hard and big erection. "Work for this".I bit my lip again. My finger grazed over the cap and the precum was waiting for me to feel its thickness.He pulled me closer to himself from my waist and buried his head into my ches
Second Fated Mate 145
Esmeralda's POVI considered myself already kind of used to the kind of words Killian said and how he acted when he said those words but there was something different at the moment, maybe it was because we weren't in the same country anymore or because he and I had somehow become a couple.When he said those words I started to anticipate the second when we would go back to the hotel and he would take the dress off me. It became what I was ready for. Whatever he had planned for me even though I didn't know what it was at the moment, I lost interest in it. All I wanted for us to do was make our way into our hotel room and he would be pulling the dress off me.I looked around and found out that during the time I was spending standing in a spot trying to fathom just how weirdly those words affected me, Killian was already in the bathroom taking his bath so there was no one but me left to open the door for the person who was knocking.I was skeptical at first because I didn't want to open
Second Fated Mate 144
Esmeralda's POVI ran my hand over my chest, giving him the sluttiest eyes I could muster."Oh Daddy"Killian almost lost it. He laughed so hard that he suddenly began to cough and meanwhile, k was wheezing beside him, about to lose my mind.We must've been such a pain in the ass of the driver because the second he stopped the car, he was outside holding the door open for me.I alighted the car with a warmth in my heart. I was happy. It was already nightfall and the wind was cold and the lights illuminated the city. It was wonderful. It looked wonderful.Suddenly, some fingers interlocked with mine accompanied by the smell of apples. It was perfect.He was perfect."We should get dinner"."Okay, but I'm still gonna smoke some weed or try molly"."Esmeralda, I don't have the contacts of people that sell".I frowned, "I thought you have the contacts of everyone?"He looked utterly confused, he took his hands back from mine and crossed them as he stared at me."Esmeralda, what could've
Second Fated Mate 143
Esmeralda's POVStepping on the private jet, I had thought I would surely be so excited that I wouldn't sleep or even try to zone out.I wanted to see through the windows and guess alphabetically where we were going since Killian refused to let me know. Even though he didn't say the exact words, I knew he wanted it to be a surprise. I had a hunch that it would be Paris and if it really was Paris I certainly would be a bit disappointed.Paris was a beautiful city and known as the city of love but it was cliché. Every woman wanted to go to Paris, people went to Paris for honeymoons and all that and it was the spot for romance. I didn't want that. Sure I would love to see Paris one day but not because of a special event or maybe I was invited for a wedding there. If it wasn't the case, the case then I don't think I'd ever want to go there.It just didn't feel magical for me.Killian had no idea about all this. He was busy sipping wine and working on his laptop leaving me to myself. I wa
Second Fated Mate 142
Esmeralda's POV.The last class of the day was literature. It wasn't a boring class. I loved the fiction and we were about indulging in the magic that Sylvia Path was.We were going to read one of her books and so we woukd be able to read the pieces of herself she left in the world.I had talked to the counselor about the major that was on my mind, she thought psychology was good for me since I had a passion to understand humans and the way they acted.The only issue became the college of my choice. She showed me a list of really good colleges in the country but I tokd her that I already knew where I wanted to go.She didn't seem disappointed to hear that I wanted to go the the states college. She thought it was a good choice and I was going to get accepted.Lucky me, it wasn't a long drive from Killian's house and so it was perfect. I get to continue living with Killian while I go to college.I had no desire to experience this or that, to meet new people or to have the full college e
