I feel like there is no longer a weight on my shoulders. I have felt this heaviness ever since I came back to Chance. Now that Holden and I are starting over, I feel so much lighter. The fact that Holden never cheated on me was a huge relief. I had worried for years that it was my fault that Holden had turned to Amelia. Maybe because I had wanted to hold onto my virginity until we were married made him need to find someone to have sex with. When I was in college and tried dating, if I said no to having sex with them, they avoided me and never called again. So why wouldn’t Holden have felt the same way. Now, my next obstacle is letting him know that I am still a virgin. My concern is how he will react to the news. Will it be disappointment since I don’t have any experience. That is going to be an obstacle that I need to overcome. I will have to table that conversation for later with Holden. We have a time crunch this morning. The meeting with board and the Zoning Commissioner is a l
The file disappearing from both the hard drive and the server just does not make sense. All three of us had a hand in checking to make sure everything was ready. But what happened in less than twelve hours could jeopardize the project starting time. Mayson is sick over what happened with the files. I tried to tell her that it was one of those things that happen, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She was working so hard right now to make up for losing all of the work. I don’t want to go tell her that there is no way for the presentation to be ready in time for the meeting. I am going to have to call Councilman Jordan and reschedule the meeting. He is going to be pissed, but what other choice do I have. I am going to wait as long as I can before I have to tell her. She is so focused right now and that is the only thing that is keeping her sane. I fear that if she stops right now, a panic attack will take her over. That’s something I don’t want anyone else to see. Seth is still in the se
There is no way that I can get a quarter of the information ready for this meeting before noon. There is no way that is going to be enough for the zoning department to grant us the permits that we need. This is going to push breaking ground mark back by at least a month. The amount of money this is going to add to the budget, is something I don’t eve want to try to figure out at the moment. I just don’t understand what could have happened. This is one of the worst things that can happen right now. I looked up as Holden walked in and he didn’t have a good look on his face. More bad news. This day was going to hell quickly. “Mayson, I have tried to put this off as long as I could. Baby, we are going to have to cancel the meeting today. No matter how much work you have done it is not going to be enough to get the permits to break ground. You put in a lot of hard work this morning and I am proud of you for trying. We are just going to have to start from scratch and try again in a few
Something just isn’t sitting right with me about the files “disappearing.” I was the last one to make sure the files were checked. We were not taking any chances with something missing from the information. This project needed to start on time. We had contractors lined up to break ground as soon as the permits came through. Who would want to see this project halted - there weren’t any competing design firms or architects for the project. It’s not making any sense. Holden said it would be better for all of us to go home early. Calling today stressful would be an understatement. I need a strong drink and a soak in the hot tub. Amelia had headed home before I did so I am sure she will be waiting for me when I get home. I really don’t want any company tonight. I don’t know how we are going to recover from having to cancel the meeting with the zoning commissioner. It is still nagging at the back of my mind as to what happened to those files. Months of work shot to hell in the matter of h
I could not have been happier at this moment. I have Mayson all to myself. I didn’t feel completely comfortable in her parent’s house when we were making out. I am so ready to take this relationship to the next level. I have been taking it slow for her, but after the kiss she gave me this morning I think she is ready to speed things up. I am so on board with that. Before we do that I want to come clean to her about at least one ex -girlfriend. She still lives in Chance and I don’t want her to show up unexpectedly and cause trouble. I will not allow another vengeful woman cause me to lose anymore time with her. As I watch Mayson walking around the house, I can see us growing old together in this house. I truly believe I had that in the back on my mind when I bought the house. She was the reason I made the purchase. When we would go riding around together when we were teenagers, this was always the last house we passed before we crossed over into Clinton. She would always dreamily sta
When I sank down in the hot tub I didn’t realize how tense my muscles were. The stress I had been under was something I was used to ever since I had been in college. Finishing my program a year early took a lot of hard work and a lot of caffeine. Today was more stressful than all of those years combined. I know this is supposed to be relaxation time, but I am having a tough time getting it off of my mind. I just feel responsible for what happened. “Hey. Mayson, where did you go on me? You were here relaxing along with me and then you space out.” Holden was right, I had disappeared for a minute. “Sorry, Holden. I was thinking about… “. He stopped me before I could finish the sentence. One of the rules tonight was that I was supposed to put the project away for a couple of days. “I told you tonight is for relaxation and for us to have alone time.” Holden pulled me into his arms and softly kissed me. Those lips against mine made me forget everything but the two of us. I decided to
I cannot believe that Mayson is laid out on the bed before me. I feel like the luckiest man in the world at this moment. I am so in love with this woman. I have to take my time or her first time will be over before she can truly enjoy it. Maybe deep down I am just a caveman, but tonight I will be claiming her as my own and I dare anyone to try to break us apart. I can tell she is nervous. Her breathing has picked up and the skin on her chest is flushed. Her eyes are closed so I know that she is starting to feel anxious. This is not the time for an anxiety attack. I lay down next to her and slowly run my hand up her arms. “Open your eyes, sweetheart. And look at me.” When she looked at me I could see a little fear in those emerald green eyes. “Don’t be scared, I will take care of you. It will be the best experience you ever had. I promise.” I could see her start to relax. “I am not going to lie to you and tell you that it won’t hurt but I will be as gentle as I can. I don’t want t
I must still be dreaming because I am not in bed alone like any other morning. I turn over and Holden is lying next to me. If this is a dream I have no desire to wake no from it. Last night I was finally able to give myself completely to him. I am a little sore but it’s a feel good sore. I don’t think we stopped making love until at least two in the morning. Holden is snoring, loudly. But that doesn’t matter to me. All I know is life right now, is perfect. Since Holden fixed dinner for me last night. I am going to sneak down to the kitchen and make breakfast. I am sure he is pretty hungry after all of the mind blowing, multiple orgasm sex we had last night. The soreness that I feel is so worth it. I am glad I waited to lose my virginity with him. It was his to begin with. Eight years ago when we were going to leave town and get married, it would have happened then. I wonder if we would have our careers like we do now. Would we have a couple of children by now. Things happened the wa
I have had so much on my mind lately. Now that Mayson was out of the hospital and on the mend we could get the project back on track. Whenever I have talked to Holden, he said she was so ready to get back to work. The project has been on hold ever since Mayson’s attack. The investigation into Holden caused a couple of sponsors to pull their funding. Luckily the amount pulled wasn’t going to impact the overall budget. We are behind the eight ball on the time frame. It will take a miracle for the project to be completed on the original timeline. As soon as Holden gets back into the office, we both need to be making calls to contractors to get them back into town. We could not afford to pay contractors that were not working for over a month. Thankfully, this project isn’t the only thing that the firm has going on. There are a couple of projects in Clinton that have come in that have kept me busy. It has kept Amelia busy too, which keeps her calm. Ever since Mayson was attacked she’s act
That bitch just will not die. Mayson seems to have nine lives like a mangy cat. I am so over this whole thing. She should have stayed gone eight years ago. My life would not be so complicated if it were not for her. There is no way that I will be able to get close enough to her again to try to finally rid this world of her. After the incident in the hospital, she has not been without some sort of guard dog, Seth included. I had thought about slitting his throat in his sleep many times over the last couple of months because of Mayson. She sucked him into her perfect world just like everyone else. I can’t help but go back to the night of the attack and try to figure out what I did wrong. My footsteps sounded like thunder as I ran across the driveway behind the house. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. I was so scared that someone was going to see me sneaking through the back yard. I almost could not catch my breath, but I had to keep moving. The stench of the roses that Ma
I ran my hands all over her body, exploring every inch of her soft skin, I let my fingertips linger on the lacy edges of her lingerie. Mayson’s own hands began to work on the buttons of my shirt, one by one. I could not help but moan as she traced the lines of my abs with the tip of her nail. I quickly moved to the clasp of her bra, freeing her breasts with a gentle touch that sent a shiver down her spine. Our kisses grew deeper, more urgent, as we were both seeking to reconnect with the passion that we had lost. The fabric of our clothing seemed to melt away, leaving us both bare to each other's touch. Mayson’s breath hitched as I slid my hand down her back, cupping her ass and squeezing gently. She had to feel how hard I was pressing against her. She rocked her hips slightly, teasing me. I could see in her lidded eyes how turned on she was and she was enjoying the power she had over me. The air was charged with electricity as our eyes met. We were making a silent promise of a pa
I really did not want to go lay down for a nap. I was tired of laying in a bed, but I could see how I really did not want to go lay down for a nap. I was tired of laying in a bed, but I could see how worried Holden was about me. He is blaming himself for what happened that night. I don’t blame him at all. I blame whoever walked into our house like they belonged and tried to take my life from me. I suppose it is a good idea to just leave Holden with his thoughts for now. If I could just remember something about that night after I got home. I know Mama said that I talked to her, but I don’t remember the whole conversation, just bits and pieces. What I really want is to be able to reconnect with Holden. Our love for each other has not diminished, but there is this cloud hanging over it because of what happened here. We need to find our way back to each other. It has been too long since we have laid in our bed together and I miss him so much. I want to feel his arms around me. Holde
It felt so good to bring Mayson home to our house. These last few weeks of her being in the hospital has been hard. I felt so helpless that I was not able to protect her that night. I am still worried that she will not feel safe with me or safe in the house. I will build her a new house if she does not want to stay here. I want the home that we will spend our lives in, raise our children in to be a haven for her instead of a bad memory. I could see that she was a little unsteady on her feet when she got out of the car. I went over to help her. “Holden, I am so glad we are finally home. This was a wonderful and unexpected surprise.” She looked so happy, but I was still so worried about her. "Holden, what’s wrong? You are so quiet," Mayson whispered as she placed her hand on my cheek. I leaned into her touch. I have missed being like this with her, just the two of us. "Just thinking," I replied, trying to keep the emotion from my voice. The house looked the same as it had the nig
I am so glad that I can finally get out of this hospital, I am going stir crazy. I have been here for over three weeks. I am ready to be in a comfortable bed. I hate that I have to go back to my parents, but the police have not released the house back to Holden yet. There is only one good thing about being in the hospital this long, it has given me time to think a lot of things over. It has also given me time to do some internet searching on Jennifer Martin. I need to know all that I can about her. She tried to ruin my romantic night with Holden, and she says she is carrying his baby. I am still not sure how I feel about the whole baby thing. It hurts my heart to think that I won’t be the one to give him his first child. I believe him, now, when he says that he always used protection during sex until we were together. Condoms can break and if she was on birth control that could fail as well. The reality is that I may have to face being a stepmother to Holden’s son or daughter. A
Holden Today could be the make it or break it day for the company. Not only has there been quite a bit of business funds and personal funds been put into this project, but our reputation as well. Seth and I both have made huge sacrifices to get our business up and running from nothing. We struggled financially until H&S Designs was up and running. Seth and I are so pissed off that someone has tried to destroy everything that we have built. I truly believe this person is the same one that attacked Mayson. Both of us need ot sit down and try to figure out who would hate either one of us badly enough to do these things. They were willing to commit a murder to get to us. If Mayson hadn’t been so stubborn, she may not have made it through the attack. Before the meeting I am heading over to talk to Daniel. I need to have my house back. It should not still be considered a crime scene. There is no evidence showing that I did anything. Mayson should be coming home tomorrow to our home
I have so much on my plate today that I do not even know where to start. Mayson is getting out of the hospital tomorrow. Seth and I have a meeting with the board after lunch to discuss the project. We are still in limbo as to whether or not it is going forward. I need to go to the police department and talk to Daniel to see if there are any new leads on Mayson’s case. He has gotten the police chief to agree to extra patrols at my house. The chief knows that I had nothing to do with Mayson’s attack. In a town as small as Chance, the rumor mill gets to buzzing. He cannot afford to lose the next election. Having an unsolved case involving a single woman almost killed in her own home does not look good on his resume. I was able to talk Seth into meeting me for breakfast at Fred’s this morning. We haven’t had the opportunity to eat together since before the project started. This has been a crazy few months. I never would have thought this town would have the same things going on that big
My mother died about an hour after she gave me the letter. It was weighing heavy in my carryon bag. I could not open this letter alone. I had texted Holden before I boarded my flight that I needed to see him. Seth: Holden I am getting ready to head back home. Mom passed away. Need to see you ASAP Holden: Sorry man have a safe trip. No problem. Meet me at the Cole’s when you get back Seth: Why are you staying there? Holden: My house is still a crime scene. I think the DA is being an ass. Mayson woke up today Seth: That is awesome man. Give her love from me. See you when I get into town After all of what I have been through the last couple of days, I welcomed the good news of Mayson waking up. I hated to have to pull him away from being with her. Holden and I know what it is like to have a dysfunctional family. I don’t know how I would have survived college without Holden. When I arrived at the Cole’s house, Holden was sitting on the porch. He looked so happy. I env