I feel like there is no longer a weight on my shoulders. I have felt this heaviness ever since I came back to Chance. Now that Holden and I are starting over, I feel so much lighter. The fact that Holden never cheated on me was a huge relief. I had worried for years that it was my fault that Holden had turned to Amelia. Maybe because I had wanted to hold onto my virginity until we were married made him need to find someone to have sex with. When I was in college and tried dating, if I said no to having sex with them, they avoided me and never called again. So why wouldn’t Holden have felt the same way. Now, my next obstacle is letting him know that I am still a virgin. My concern is how he will react to the news. Will it be disappointment since I don’t have any experience. That is going to be an obstacle that I need to overcome. I will have to table that conversation for later with Holden. We have a time crunch this morning. The meeting with board and the Zoning Commissioner is a l
The file disappearing from both the hard drive and the server just does not make sense. All three of us had a hand in checking to make sure everything was ready. But what happened in less than twelve hours could jeopardize the project starting time. Mayson is sick over what happened with the files. I tried to tell her that it was one of those things that happen, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She was working so hard right now to make up for losing all of the work. I don’t want to go tell her that there is no way for the presentation to be ready in time for the meeting. I am going to have to call Councilman Jordan and reschedule the meeting. He is going to be pissed, but what other choice do I have. I am going to wait as long as I can before I have to tell her. She is so focused right now and that is the only thing that is keeping her sane. I fear that if she stops right now, a panic attack will take her over. That’s something I don’t want anyone else to see. Seth is still in the se
There is no way that I can get a quarter of the information ready for this meeting before noon. There is no way that is going to be enough for the zoning department to grant us the permits that we need. This is going to push breaking ground mark back by at least a month. The amount of money this is going to add to the budget, is something I don’t eve want to try to figure out at the moment. I just don’t understand what could have happened. This is one of the worst things that can happen right now. I looked up as Holden walked in and he didn’t have a good look on his face. More bad news. This day was going to hell quickly. “Mayson, I have tried to put this off as long as I could. Baby, we are going to have to cancel the meeting today. No matter how much work you have done it is not going to be enough to get the permits to break ground. You put in a lot of hard work this morning and I am proud of you for trying. We are just going to have to start from scratch and try again in a few
Something just isn’t sitting right with me about the files “disappearing.” I was the last one to make sure the files were checked. We were not taking any chances with something missing from the information. This project needed to start on time. We had contractors lined up to break ground as soon as the permits came through. Who would want to see this project halted - there weren’t any competing design firms or architects for the project. It’s not making any sense. Holden said it would be better for all of us to go home early. Calling today stressful would be an understatement. I need a strong drink and a soak in the hot tub. Amelia had headed home before I did so I am sure she will be waiting for me when I get home. I really don’t want any company tonight. I don’t know how we are going to recover from having to cancel the meeting with the zoning commissioner. It is still nagging at the back of my mind as to what happened to those files. Months of work shot to hell in the matter of h
I could not have been happier at this moment. I have Mayson all to myself. I didn’t feel completely comfortable in her parent’s house when we were making out. I am so ready to take this relationship to the next level. I have been taking it slow for her, but after the kiss she gave me this morning I think she is ready to speed things up. I am so on board with that. Before we do that I want to come clean to her about at least one ex -girlfriend. She still lives in Chance and I don’t want her to show up unexpectedly and cause trouble. I will not allow another vengeful woman cause me to lose anymore time with her. As I watch Mayson walking around the house, I can see us growing old together in this house. I truly believe I had that in the back on my mind when I bought the house. She was the reason I made the purchase. When we would go riding around together when we were teenagers, this was always the last house we passed before we crossed over into Clinton. She would always dreamily sta
When I sank down in the hot tub I didn’t realize how tense my muscles were. The stress I had been under was something I was used to ever since I had been in college. Finishing my program a year early took a lot of hard work and a lot of caffeine. Today was more stressful than all of those years combined. I know this is supposed to be relaxation time, but I am having a tough time getting it off of my mind. I just feel responsible for what happened. “Hey. Mayson, where did you go on me? You were here relaxing along with me and then you space out.” Holden was right, I had disappeared for a minute. “Sorry, Holden. I was thinking about… “. He stopped me before I could finish the sentence. One of the rules tonight was that I was supposed to put the project away for a couple of days. “I told you tonight is for relaxation and for us to have alone time.” Holden pulled me into his arms and softly kissed me. Those lips against mine made me forget everything but the two of us. I decided to
I cannot believe that Mayson is laid out on the bed before me. I feel like the luckiest man in the world at this moment. I am so in love with this woman. I have to take my time or her first time will be over before she can truly enjoy it. Maybe deep down I am just a caveman, but tonight I will be claiming her as my own and I dare anyone to try to break us apart. I can tell she is nervous. Her breathing has picked up and the skin on her chest is flushed. Her eyes are closed so I know that she is starting to feel anxious. This is not the time for an anxiety attack. I lay down next to her and slowly run my hand up her arms. “Open your eyes, sweetheart. And look at me.” When she looked at me I could see a little fear in those emerald green eyes. “Don’t be scared, I will take care of you. It will be the best experience you ever had. I promise.” I could see her start to relax. “I am not going to lie to you and tell you that it won’t hurt but I will be as gentle as I can. I don’t want t
I must still be dreaming because I am not in bed alone like any other morning. I turn over and Holden is lying next to me. If this is a dream I have no desire to wake no from it. Last night I was finally able to give myself completely to him. I am a little sore but it’s a feel good sore. I don’t think we stopped making love until at least two in the morning. Holden is snoring, loudly. But that doesn’t matter to me. All I know is life right now, is perfect. Since Holden fixed dinner for me last night. I am going to sneak down to the kitchen and make breakfast. I am sure he is pretty hungry after all of the mind blowing, multiple orgasm sex we had last night. The soreness that I feel is so worth it. I am glad I waited to lose my virginity with him. It was his to begin with. Eight years ago when we were going to leave town and get married, it would have happened then. I wonder if we would have our careers like we do now. Would we have a couple of children by now. Things happened the wa
The shower washed away the grime of the day, but not the worry. As the water cascaded over me, my thoughts were a whirlwind. Who would want to hurt Mayson? And why? It's a question that's been eating away at me since the night it happened. I knew I had to find answers, not just for her sake, but for my own peace of mind. When I came downstairs, the smell of garlic and onions filled the air.Mayson was at the stove, stirring something in a pan, her bare back glowing from the warmth of the stove. She looked so focused, so alive in that moment, that it was hard to believe she had just survived a traumatic event. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," she said without turning around. Her voice was a little shaky, but there was a determination in it that I hadn't heard in days. I nodded, taking a seat at the kitchen table, my eyes never leaving her. She had always been strong, but this was a different kind of strength, one born out of fire and defiance. She was reclaiming her life, pie
The office felt normal again. Our team was three strong again. I could tell Mayson was worn out by the end of the day but she’s tough. Holden will not let her out of his sight. I can’t blame him, someone tried to kill her and there aren’t any leads as to who it was. Amelia was the first to leave the office that night. She’s been acting weird lately, even by her standards. Staying out all hours of the night. When I would wait up for her, she would get defensive as to where she was. "Is everything okay?" I had asked her one evening, unable to shake the feeling that something was off. Amelia had looked up from her desk, her eyes narrowing. "Why wouldn't it be?" she replied, her tone sharper than usual. "Just asking," I said, trying to play it cool. But I couldn't shake the feeling that she was hiding something. Her evasiveness was more than just her usual prickly demeanor. It was something deeper, something that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The office grew quiet as
I know that I am being overprotective of Mayson. But I can't help it. The thought of her getting hurt again is like a knife in my gut. As we walk into the house, I can see the tiredness etched into her features. The shadows under her eyes are more noticeable against her pale skin. She's trying to put on a brave face, but I can see the fear lingering in the back of her eyes. "Do you need help with anything?" I ask as we enter the living room. Mayson shakes her head, her eyes scanning the space with a hint of unease. "No, I'm okay," she says, though the tremor in her voice suggests otherwise. “i am just going to start dinner.” I watch as she heads to the kitchen, her steps tentative. The house feels too quiet, too still. Like it's holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. I know I can't hover over her forever, but I can't shake the feeling that she's in danger. "Holden," she calls out, her voice echoing through the house. "Could you grab me the cutting board from th
It felt so good for all three of us to be back together. Seth proceeded to fill me in on the projects we had been working on, his words coming in a fast and efficient stream. My mind struggled to keep up, trying to piece together the puzzle of the past few weeks. "And the big news," he paused for dramatic effect, "we are on schedule for completion of the project." I nodded, trying to absorb the information. My office felt smaller than ever, the walls closing in as the reality of the workload hit me. "That's great," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Seth studied me for a moment before his smile faltered. "Are you sure you're okay?" I took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm fine," I assured him, though my voice wavered slightly. "Let's just get to work." Seth nodded and handed me a stack of files. As I flipped through the first few pages, the words swam before my eyes, and I realized how much I had missed the structure and purpose that work gave me. The office was a haven
I am so ready to get back to work. Holden and I never argue but we have had some knock down drag out fights. He wants me to stay at home until they find out who attacked me. If I stay at home, this person wins by controlling my life. I want to prove them wrong that no matter what they tried to do to me they were not going to win. "Holden, I'm going to work," I said firmly, as I pulled on my favorite pair of boots and grabbed my keys. His eyes followed me with concern, the tension in the room palpable. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" "Yes," I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "I can't let someone dictate my life like this. I have to get back to normal." Holden sighed heavily, his jaw tightening. He knew arguing with me when I was like this was futile. "Fine, but you are not to go anywhere alone.” I nodded, a flicker of relief crossing my face. "Thank you." Holden took a step towards me, his hand brushing mine as he gently took the keys from my hand. "I
I have had so much on my mind lately. Now that Mayson was out of the hospital and on the mend we could get the project back on track. Whenever I have talked to Holden, he said she was so ready to get back to work. The project has been on hold ever since Mayson’s attack. The investigation into Holden caused a couple of sponsors to pull their funding. Luckily the amount pulled wasn’t going to impact the overall budget. We are behind the eight ball on the time frame. It will take a miracle for the project to be completed on the original timeline. As soon as Holden gets back into the office, we both need to be making calls to contractors to get them back into town. We could not afford to pay contractors that were not working for over a month. Thankfully, this project isn’t the only thing that the firm has going on. There are a couple of projects in Clinton that have come in that have kept me busy. It has kept Amelia busy too, which keeps her calm. Ever since Mayson was attacked she’s act
That bitch just will not die. Mayson seems to have nine lives like a mangy cat. I am so over this whole thing. She should have stayed gone eight years ago. My life would not be so complicated if it were not for her. There is no way that I will be able to get close enough to her again to try to finally rid this world of her. After the incident in the hospital, she has not been without some sort of guard dog, Seth included. I had thought about slitting his throat in his sleep many times over the last couple of months because of Mayson. She sucked him into her perfect world just like everyone else. I can’t help but go back to the night of the attack and try to figure out what I did wrong. My footsteps sounded like thunder as I ran across the driveway behind the house. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. I was so scared that someone was going to see me sneaking through the back yard. I almost could not catch my breath, but I had to keep moving. The stench of the roses that Ma
I ran my hands all over her body, exploring every inch of her soft skin, I let my fingertips linger on the lacy edges of her lingerie. Mayson’s own hands began to work on the buttons of my shirt, one by one. I could not help but moan as she traced the lines of my abs with the tip of her nail. I quickly moved to the clasp of her bra, freeing her breasts with a gentle touch that sent a shiver down her spine. Our kisses grew deeper, more urgent, as we were both seeking to reconnect with the passion that we had lost. The fabric of our clothing seemed to melt away, leaving us both bare to each other's touch. Mayson’s breath hitched as I slid my hand down her back, cupping her ass and squeezing gently. She had to feel how hard I was pressing against her. She rocked her hips slightly, teasing me. I could see in her lidded eyes how turned on she was and she was enjoying the power she had over me. The air was charged with electricity as our eyes met. We were making a silent promise of a pa
I really did not want to go lay down for a nap. I was tired of laying in a bed, but I could see how I really did not want to go lay down for a nap. I was tired of laying in a bed, but I could see how worried Holden was about me. He is blaming himself for what happened that night. I don’t blame him at all. I blame whoever walked into our house like they belonged and tried to take my life from me. I suppose it is a good idea to just leave Holden with his thoughts for now. If I could just remember something about that night after I got home. I know Mama said that I talked to her, but I don’t remember the whole conversation, just bits and pieces. What I really want is to be able to reconnect with Holden. Our love for each other has not diminished, but there is this cloud hanging over it because of what happened here. We need to find our way back to each other. It has been too long since we have laid in our bed together and I miss him so much. I want to feel his arms around me. Holde