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Colt 21
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2022-03-23 09:25:13COLT POV (8 DAYS LATER)
"Heath, little man....you need your jacket. Don't you wanna go see Auntie Janelle," I ask with a slight plea in my voice.
Wrangling a toddler is as hard as they say it is. I swear I have lost ten pounds chasing this kid around this past week, but honestly, it has been a great distraction.
He is like a beacon of happiness in a sea of sorrow for Janelle and me. He is constantly laughing and smiling while we both try to hold ourselves together. Elaine's condition has done nothing but deteriorate, and Janelle has done nothing but cry. It is absolute torture to watch her go through this. The only thing I can do is hope and pray for a miracle. But watching the woman I love hurting..... kills me. Women crying, in general, has always affected me...but when it's Janelle. It feels like my major organs are shriveling.
Every night when I tuck Heath in, I teach him to pray. We pray for his grandma, we pray for his aunt,
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JANELLE POV pg 13Watching the man, you love care for a child should be illegal. My ovaries are literally swelling while watching Colt carry Heath around on his hip like he was born to sit there. Their beautiful new bond has my heart melting........but it should be illegal because I am at my mom's funeral.I am speaking with her friends and distant relatives, but my focus is on the two boys in my life. It's as if God is shining a light on them. Forcing me to focus on them instead of the grief I should be feeling. However, I do feel much better after last night. Colt only stopped me long enough to eat last night. The rest of the time, I painted. I poured my soul out for nine hours straight. I feel more alive than I have in three months."I'm so sorry for your loses, Janelle," my mom's ex-co-worker says as she engulfs me in a hug.I hug her back after tearing my eyes off of Colt and smile. He knew exactly what I needed. He knew that painti
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IAN POV "Mom, ...MOM. Please just stop. Go," I order as embarrassment and anger rage within me. Mom gives me a sad face that breaks my heart, but I can't force myself to apologize. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of needing assistance to piss! "Okay, well, just call if you need me," mom mumbles, and I feel like I just kicked a dang puppy. As soon as my door shuts, I repeatedly punch my immobile thighs. I can't take this. I can't live like this. I want to rewind time. I want to stop the older man from ever pulling me out of Ray's mustang. I want to scream at him to leave me there with my buddies, let me burn with them. I was the driver. I was the one they both entrusted with their safety. I killed them and crippled myself. God's punishment, probably. "What the crap Ian?? Your mother is in the kitchen crying," Dad yells through my door before opening it.
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CHLOE POV"So how was his first session," Susan asks as we wipe down the equipment we used today."Frustrating. He has all the signs of depression and survivor's guilt. He is like I was when I got hurt.......angry, scared, and full of regret. Plus, he still views himself as a fit athlete. He wants to push his body like he is used to doing," I answer as I think about my new patient."He's cute.....," Susan says, and a blush hits my face.That is the one thing that distracted me throughout our entire session. Ian Wilson is a living, breathing dream guy. I want to run my pale fingers through his chocolate hair so bad. And even when he is glaring, it's hard to look away from his hazel eyes."He is a very good-looking man," I answer, and Susan smirks."Good looking......good enough to end your no dating ever rule," Susan asks, and I laugh.I shake my head, and she walks to the other side of the padded be
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IAN POV"Need any help," Colt asks, and I look at him with a go-to-hell look.He raises his hands and makes a sorry-I-asked face. My annoyance at feeling weak erases any guilt I have at being rude. I am so tired of not being able to do things on my own. I feel like a burden. I have to be helped when I do anything. Mom and dad keep trying to be positive by telling me I will get the hang of doing tasks from a chair soon, but that makes me even angrier. I don't want to live my life from a chair; I want to run, I want to walk, and I want to play football.I manage to maneuver my body into the passenger seat of Colt's minivan, and he folds my chair silently. For which I am thankful. I don't need to let my jealous rage out on my brother. Seeing him makes me think about playing ball...which makes me think about how he gave it up for Jan...which makes me burn with jealousy. He threw away my dream.....my dream that remains a dream now."Are you r
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CHLOE POV (one week later)"So, did you ever speak to your friends' families," I ask as Ian stares down at his ankle for focus?"I wrote them both a letter while I was in the hospital. I told them every detail I could remember of the entire night, and then I told them how sorry I am. I don't know if they read them. Caleb's dad isn't........well he isn't a very good guy. Real quick to anger....it was probably a good thing I couldn't attend their funerals," he answers bitterly before giving up on his exercise and leaning his head back."Well, I'm sure they appreciated the thought. Even if they are angry. You probably answered all their questions by going into detail," I state as I grab his foot to reposition him.Ian locks his eyes to mine, and irritation flashes in their depths. I brace myself expectantly. Ian has not been shy with his words through any of our sessions. In fact, the more comfortable he gets around me, the harsher hi
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IAN POV. (5 yrs later) "Gayle, let me hold her," Alastair playfully grunts before stealing our new daughter from her grandmother. Chloe rolls her eyes at the exchange, but even though the air is lighthearted and filled with love, I can't relax. Ever since we adopted Li Mei from China, I have been a nervous wreck. Even though I know, she is safe with her grandparents; I can't help but picture them accidentally dropping her....or squeezing her too tight. I mean, Alastair is a huge man. "Love, come sit down. Mei is fine," Chloe whispers as she passes me to sit on the couch. I just shake my head, and she sighs. Chloe and I tried for a baby for two years before we discovered she couldn't get pregnant. And ever since that discovery, I have been a little bit of a mess. I have always wanted a family, a child of my own...Now that I have it and considering the long journey we took to get her... Nope, not calming down...
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