Chapter 4 - Memories

Trinity POV

Where am I?  Did I die? 

I look around, but I see nothing except darkness.  There is no grass, dirt, or floor under me, but I don’t feel like I’m floating.  I tilt my head and stomp my foot. 

My confusion continues when my foot hits something hard, but I can’t see whatever it is. 

I take a deep breath as questions swirls through my head. 

Wait.  There is absolutely no scent or smell at all in the air either or a breeze. 

What is going on?

Reluctantly, I take a small step forward, testing to make sure I won’t suddenly fall through the darkness. 

I breathe a small sigh of relief when again, my foot settles on something hard.  But what is it? 

A flicker of light pulls my attention up and to the image in front of me.  It is me in my wedding dress.  The long flowing white satin fabric glistens under the lights at the church, while the soft fabric hugs my body and shows off my curves.   

I remember this.  It has happened only a few hours earlier.  That is if this is right after I lost consciousness. 

The image is frozen like a picture in a frame hanging on a wall. 

A crease forms along my forehead.  Why am I seeing this now?  Shouldn’t I be having my entire life flashing before me if I’m dying? 

I tilt my head and look a little closer at the image. 

My arm is intertwined with my father’s as we enter the church.  My father radiates the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, and it is full of pride.  He puffs his chest out a little further than usual as his alpha aura radiates off him. 

His stylish black tuxedo looks perfect and adds to his imposing aura, while his black hair is combed and gelled back. 

Is there something wrong with this picture?  I can’t find anything. 

I shake my head but the nagging feel like I’m missing something still eats away at me. 

Taking another step towards the image, I scan the rest of the picture.  My focus soon stops at Bethany, my maid of honor and my best friend, who is almost out of the picture.  Only a portion of her is visible, but that is enough. 

I tilt my head at the strange, almost irritated look she has.  Did I do something wrong?  Think.  What happened right before we walked down the aisle? 

I rake through my brain, trying to remember, but I come up with nothing.  We didn’t fight or have any harsh words.  As far as I know, everything about the wedding had been going along just as we had planned.  There doesn’t seem to be anything that would have caused her to have the faint scowl she has. 

If I didn’t know her better, I would have missed it. 

She is usually a happy-go-lucky person all the time.  She very seldom doesn’t smile, and it is very odd she isn’t smiling at my wedding. 

Why is that?

Suddenly, the image swings around to the groom and his groom’s men standing up at the front of the church.  Each of the men has a different expression, but it is my brother’s heavy scowl at the end which pulls my attention to him.

Our conversation at the table later during the reception rolls through my mind.  I know he doesn’t like what I’m doing, but does he hate it that much?  He never argued with me about it or protested to our father about it. 

If looks could kill, the look of disgust and anger would have done me in right then and there.  Does he really want the alpha title so badly? 

Pain suddenly shoots through my entire body. 

I collapse to my knees, hoping my wolf will take over and ease the burning sensation shooting through my veins.  It almost feels like my blood is on fire. 

My vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears and I curl up into a ball.  With each moment, I hope the pain will go away and my wolf will make me better, but all I hear is silence and my own cries of agony.  My wolf doesn’t make a sound.  She doesn’t even come forward in my mind.  There is absolutely nothing. 

Fear grabs a hold of me. 

What has happened to my wolf?  If I lose my wolf, does that mean I’m dead?

Silently, I pray to the moon goddess like I did in the alley when the darkness was engulfing me. 

Please, save me.  I don’t want to die this young. 

The pain intensifies and pulses not only through my veins but also through my muscles.  Every part of me is on fire and pushes me to the edge of my sanity.

Help!  Someone help me!

The pain slowly eases. 

When the burning gets to where I can move again, I slowly sit back upright.  A dull annoying pain still pulses through me, but it is better than before. 

Thank goodness.  The moon goddess must be listening to my pleas of help. 

The image in front of me suddenly changes to a conversation I had with my father months before when he was trying to convince me the arranged marriage would be the best for everyone. 

Like with the previous wedding pictures, I take a closer look. 

When I originally had the conversation with him, I saw nothing out of the ordinary.  It all looked like normal business. The only difference was this was a rather uncomfortable topic for me.  I had never thought I would marry anyone who wasn’t my mate, but at 20, I still hadn’t found my mate.  Rumors had started around the pack that I would never find my mate or that I’m mateless.  I never once gave it a second thought, but now, I don’t know if that is true or not. 

If I’m mateless, it could be seen as the price to pay for being a female instead of a male as first born.  I wouldn’t have to go through any of this if I was born second and my brother was the firstborn.    

I don’t have to hear what my father is saying to know what is going on in the picture.  His victorious look is the same one he had once I had given in and agreed to the arranged marriage. 

I lean in closer to the image and freeze. 

My heartbeat quickens. 

The look of relief is one I remember, but it is the look of fear hidden in the back of his eyes which I don’t remember. 

Why would he fear anything?  He is the strongest alpha in the area.  The only other alphas stronger than him are on the other side of the world.  None of them are remotely close to us physically for him to fear them.  Plus, they are all good friends with my father. 

This doesn’t make any sense.  What is going on here? 

Pain slices right through my head, and I double over in agony. 

I grab the sides of my head, fisting a handful of hair, and scream, “Ugh!!!  Make it stop!”

My head throbs with each word, which also echoes through my ears and amplifies them to the point my headache boarders on a migraine.

I pull at my hair, but it adds to my pain. 

If my wolf was here, she would know what to do. 

Tears roll down my cheeks, while I hope it will all stop soon.  But my hope quickly fades as the pain increases. 

Before I can figure out what is going on, the little light present fades, and darkness quickly engulfs me.