BRENT
The past two weeks have been hectic. My wife has been away for so long, just to have her in my arms peaceful and in lala land is like a dream to me. Its a blessing I'm thankful for daily.
The past three days must have been hell for her and to think that I caused unnecessary drama. The argument we had over the phone was brutal. I was shooting bullets from my mouth and I hated myself afterwards. Clara wouldn't talk to me or answer any of my texts and to top it all off Angela ;who is not such an angel is causing discord between us. I know she didn't mean for what happened to happen.
I need to find the man I once was, the man my wife married and my Son knew and loved.
With Clara I always find myself. I married her for a reason ... for many reasons. Half of me is her and half of her is me and our son Andrew is a symbol of our love . He was nothing short of a miracle . I have the bullet scar and stab wound scar to show and I wear them proudly.
My wife and son are my life .
They both mean the world to me I'd be a mess if I lost both of them. I wanted to make love to my wife but she hit lights out after I literally carried her over my shoulder from the guest room to our bedroom. We both fell asleep... well she fell asleep before me. Damn jet lag I could have had great make up sex with my wife, sleepy sex is an option... but I am not that selfish, she needs her rest.
Thank goodness she is off for the next couple of months. I just hope I can redeem myself or better yet make it up to her by making her a meal or setting up date night. Flip as if losing my job and being in and out of jobs wasn't that bad.
Money has never been a problem for both of us and she gives me what I need and want; spiritually, mentally, physically ...with no questions asked. I am thankful for her period.
It was 5am in the morning and knowing my wife she would have already been up jogging. She was still asleep and I wanted to hold her like it was the last time we were ever going to be together.
That's what it feels like every time we fight. I am always afraid of losing her... Even worse I cannot imagine her loving someone else.
She knew about Angela and her tricks and she knew I would never cheat on her. That woman needs a wake up call, there is only one girl for me and she's right here all mine .
Andrews' room was right across ours so if anything would happen or if there was any sign of him waking up I would hear. He too had a knack for getting up early like his mother. Just the other day he made me his famous jelly bean, peanut butter and banana sandwich with warm milk for breakfast and told me that Clara said he should feed me if I don't wake up after nine in the morning. Amazingly it tastes pretty good.
I missed Clara waking me up with kisses and breakfast in bed. Something was up. I was up early and both sources of my joy were not.
The house was silent and then out of nowhere I heard a loud thud across the hall. It sounded like something had fallen. Clara's eyes flew open and she jerked out of my arms and out of bed ,ran to Andrews' room and I followed her...
"Andy. I'm here what's wrong angel?"
"Mommy you're back I missed you so much."
She ran his side and he was shivering, this was the second fever in as many days and I had kept it from Clara. Tim told me he was okay and I should just keep an eye on him. If the same symptoms occur again I should call him. He had picked up something from school and he was cleared and healthy. I still feel bad for keeping information from my wife, she should have known but I was angry and acted on impulse.
" I missed you. Mommy I hurt everywhere I don't feel too good."
Clara took Andrew in her arms and tried to soothe him . She gave him a kiss on the forehead and I could sense that she was scared.
"I'm here my boy , daddy is here too. All will be okay"
Andrew started crying. It wasn't a normal cry it was a cry of agony and pain; I knew the cry so well cause I heard it five times and the last time was a couple of days ago.
When Andy had settled down and his fever wasn't high we both walked back into the bedroom I closed the door behind me, sat next to her and gave her a hug . She started sobbing on my shoulder and all I could do was just be there for her.
" Honey bee I know you're overwhelmed right now , but all that matters is that you are here."
I said soothing her.
"The last time he got hurt or fell ill I wasn't here. You know how guilty I still feel and now his got a fever again. We need to call Tim . I want our son healthy and happy."
" I know .Tell you what he seems to be okay for now so ,how about we get cleaned up and spend some time together with him. We'll call Timothy okay "
"Okay."
"You're not a bad parent. You're a phenomenal parent . Who deserves a gold star."
I kissed my wife , we both got cleaned up and had some breakfast.
The next couple of hours that followed were the scariest in my life. We both ran to Andy's room when we heard him cry. When I opened the door, and flicked on the light switch and Andrew screamed again. He looked like he was in pain and his rapid shallow breathing wasn't a good symptom. With no hesitation I ran for the ear thermometer and Clara took his temperature; it was well over the limit for a boy his age.
"Honey Drew doesn't look like himself, complained of chest pains before you came back.
On the way back from school yesterday; I tried to talk to him but he just wouldn't he gave me one word answers. His teacher told me he wasn't himself again during school and play time when I asked him what was wrong... he refused to talk to me after we had an argument. He takes the one word silent treatment from you."
The moment I saw the look in Clara's eyes my heart sank. The last time I saw her in such a state was when Andrew fell off his bike and broke his arm. I was being vigilant but Andrew insisted he leave him alone to ride the bicycle. He was determined. A trait he picked up from me.
Being five years old he had picked up some mannerisms and was starting to develop his own personality. He had Clara's eyes, my nose, my dark features and smile. He also had a tendency; manipulate any situation to make it work in his favor, another thing he inherited from me. He was every bit Clara's as well as me. He was a sensitive soul as much as he loved to explore and read, he also had a quiet side to him.
We both knew that something was wrong. His high fever, cough and mucus color were dead giveaways. We rushed Andrew to the hospital.
On the way to the hospital we called Tim, he was Andrews' doctor. In no time we made it to the hospital and Drew was taken in.
If you would have asked me in the morning when I woke up if I was okay ... I would have said yes without a shadow of a doubt.
I was looking out the window in the waiting room thinking about Andrew. Clara was distant and moody. I could tell cause she was quiet and she was sitting down looking at the swing doors which meant she was far away. I thought she needed alone time but she needed me, I could tell by the way she was sitting. She had her chin on her knees and was in fetal position. With no hesitation I sat next to her.
"Honey... it's not your fault "I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She let go and hugged me back.
"I am so scared and what worries me is that this could have happened while I was away."
I looked into Clara's eyes and she continued to probe
"Brent what aren't you telling me?"
"Andy had an infection last week. He was cleared by Tim and I was fighting with you on that day. I was so angry about the rumor and the pictures I saw. I wanted to get back at you"
She stood up and broke my shackled embrace and walked to the door that led to the staircase. The look on her face said it all.
I was over reacting to something that happened accidentally and out of her control.
"Our son isn't a weapon to use against me when you are angry. I told you nothing happened between me and that guy. Nothing he was drunk and I just happened to walk in his direction and he kissed me. "
"Oh just like you kept quiet for a month when you knew you were pregnant with Andy"
"That's not fair"
She shot me a dagger look...
At that moment Clara looked like I just slapped her and knocked the wind out of her at the same time. I was angry at her for something I did and if she hadn't picked that up; she would sooner.
"Is it really"
"I was on an assignment for that month and I couldn't get hold of anyone. Including you hence I told you when I came back."
I held back a curse and walked towards her but she lifted her hands in defense.
"Don't even try... and we have been married for what... six years.
I had a feeling last night that you were keeping something from me. I want you to come clean... "
It was freezing outside and she started walking. She was headed out and she was in no condition to be out in the cold. She was coughing all night.
"Don't walk away while I'm..."
I barely finished my sentenced when she ran out. I let her go so she could sort out her feelings . I knew her well enough to give her time.
I remembered that Angela said she wanted me to see her. She had sent me a text earlier that she would be around the hospital and I had to come.
That woman has caused more harm to my family than good. Part of me wanted to run after Clara and tell her that; I am sorry for being a jerk and I should have told her what was going on.
The other problem solving part of me wanted me to sort the problem that was Angela. I made my way to the ward which was just down the hall.
There was no news about my son and I didn't want to go crazy waiting. Timothy would have already told me something but it was too soon...
© #KCMmuoe
ClaraI ran as fast as I could upstairs. When I finally made it I took a deep breath and took in the beautiful view. The city was lit . The teeming traffic looked like a swarm of fire flies going in two different directions, I don't know what it is about moving cars that is so calming in a bizarre way. The sea has the same effect on me . I took in a second deep breath and the icy cold air hit my nostrils; my throat felt like it was on fire. It was scratchy before butit was getting bad. Brent had told me before we took Andy in that I was coughing all night, he thought it was nothing . I had difficulty swallowing my coffee this morning but still it could be anything. I took another breath and ended up coughing ." That sounds pretty bad .While you're here get it checked before it gets worse. "A husky voice came out of nowhere ... I thoughtI was alone but I wasn't . He took off his blue scarf and wrapped it around my ne
ClaraI started playing with my wedding band twisting it around. It was as if Brent knew I was about to make an impulsive decision. I always fiddled with my ring when I was so infuriated with Brent, it was a telltale sign I had enough.He had pointed out that when we had a dispute with regards to problems that we talked out. He could sense my aggression or frustration and he didn't need to say anything because he could hear my heart. Brent knew me so well... and I knew him too.I tried to speak but my words never caught the air. I put my hand on my chest ,bowed my head, and with the other hand I waved signaling I can't take anymore. I walked towards the door turned around and looked up.Automatically I started fiddling with my wedding ring.Brent and I were connected in more ways than one.I always felt him before he walked to where I was.In the house;or at a party. It was almost an instinct
BrentI tried to get Clara to come around she wasn't budging. All I saw was her body in an unnatural state . She turned around but lost and lost her balance. Fell over the banister, and landed on the floor. Angela had accidentally knocked her over when she walked out the bathroom door .The moment I saw her fall was the moment I realized how much she has always meant to me. Everything that has happened and everything that we had been through flashed right before my eyes. I couldn't lose her.All I did was run after her. I shouldn't have worked her up or pushed her to tell me what she was keeping and why was Andy in on the secret.Angela was standing there looking scared that she might have done the unforgivable. I screamed my lungs out I screamed so loud for help and Angela ran out and called for assistance. In no time Timothy came through and called in another doctor. A minuet ago she
Brent's #POV continued"Brent I can't. I can't tell you. Clara has to tell you herself . ""Kat please . I'm begging you . Tell me anything, something, anything."I sat down and leveled with her and looked at her strait in the eye. She closed her light brown eyes and opened them to look at me ."She wasn't feeling well before she left, I made her promise to get checked out. The day you had an argument about that model was the day she found out. She told me about the fight you also had when she got back. When Tim called me and told me what happened with Andy. I came down only to find out about the fall. I'm so sorry. Clara sent me a file which I sent to you and by the looks of things... you haven't opened it.""You're still not telling me what I need to know.""You are a smart enough Carlyle.One gem of a guy, an awesome father and a
ClaraLove ,loss, passion , pleasure and pain.Five words that carry so much weight ... Physically , mentally and emotionally. I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't experienced what I just mentioned.The love I have for Brent is cosmic ,supernatural, and strong. It has endured loss ,passion, pleasure and pain in all forms . We are the ones who made through ... But we had to fight to get where we are.I've seen him break down as in completely lose it, cry in the middle of the night, soothed him when he had a nightmare,talked until he fell peacefully asleep and been there for him when he needed me.He had also done the same for me in more ways than one.We've seen each other through a lot. All I am is thankful for him and our son.There were moments in my life when I felt the five words I just mentioned...Love is all around us;
BrenKat came through again to get Andy in the morninWe had spent the whole night talking about how he got the name Andrew funnily enough I was remembering the time I fell in love with Clara and out of love for good with JeniferI had everything going for me. My soon to be wife Jenifer who was wild in more ways than one ,she was busy with our wedding plans . We had already come up with a color scheme .I think the color was silver an red. Everyone and I mean everyone asked what I saw in her. I simply replied and said; I'm in love and she rocks my world. I guess the one thing that attracted me to her was her party all night sleep is for the dead attitude. As "cool" as she was my grandmother had called a couple of times to express her displeasure at her behavior,and her lack of regard for others . The conversations always ended on a sad notDid I care ... Nope. At that time it was all about me, my life
8ClaraWhen I told Brent the news , he didn't seem okay . He gave me a look I hadn't seen in a while... I remember the look very well . I had seen it when we talked about his sister Laura and his parents. The day Andrea passed away and the day he almost lost Andrew and me..." Honey bee , What's with that look?"He swallowed hard and held back tears. He raked his lush brown locks, held my hand and looked back at me."What look sugar?""You are not a Rosanerri... "He chuckled." Na ah ... But I'm a Carlyle . I'm just happy to be able to look into your eyes again . I just realized I wasn't there when you woke up and got transfered. I was busy having breakfast at the canteen a full breakfast so don't...Some of the old staff asked me if I was coming back. ""It wouldn't be a bad thing. Besides . You were go
Brent*Song : Westlife - Us against the world.*They say a man is only as strong as the woman he loves... I didn't expect to fall so hard for Clara . To be honest when she said yes , I was totally taken by surprised. She was dubbed as the toughest nut to crack by some of the guys and girls I knew... It didn't register properly until the day after the first dinner party when I was playing host and chef that she was it.She had been quiet all night but she seemed to be at peace . She and Andrea got along like milk and oreos. My niece rarely laughed when she was with other people and getting her to eat was always a mission... Clara did that with ease; there were a couple of times when I had to call her cause Andrea just wouldn't touch her food. If she was away I would skype her and I would have Andrea talk to her and after thirty minuets she would be ready to eat .Even with our son she always knows how t
BrentWhen life your life flashes before your eyes ; you want to make sure you have no regrets when you think its about to end.Clara always used to say something that had always stuck with me , even when I look back now she had a point. Before I asked her to marry me , she got caught in the crossfire of a war she didn't start and I felt guilty for putting her in a situation she shouldn't have gone through. Her forgiving and understanding nature has always been the reason I kept trying to be a better man . She always said ; there can be no regrets, all you need to say is lesson learned, I understand now and thank you .She's always thinks I don't trust her .Fact is I do. She's always been my better half and the best part of me ...*Flashback*The day started off perfectly. Clara was peacefully sleeping next to me bare skinned. On days when Andrea was away and I had no class to attend or team to assess
ClaraFor the longest of times I've believed that feelings are only sensations felt inside and the rest of the time what we touch in terms of the sensation of different textures are just feelings . Then I grew up. I came to the conclusion that all our senses are connected to our feelings ; be it nostalgic or poignant .The experience is what makes any feeling or memory worth keeping or letting go. The scars, tattoos or memorabilia are proof that you went through an experience or event .The experience is uniquely yours and no one can take it away from you, good or bad it becomes part of you in some way . Eventually your sense of perception and awareness sharpens and you are able to sense what someone is feeling and what they are going to day before they say it . Perception is connected to sensitivity. If you feel deeply about a situation or a person you can relate and empathize and hopefully ease the pain or heal a wounded soul.
ClaraI believe that we are all capable of getting the best of everything, if we just focus on the blessing every lesson has to offer . Sometimes it's easier said than done . There is a saying that has always stuck with me throughout the years and during the times I needed all the support I could get when we lost Caleb; Through darkness there is light , broken hearts will mend, and one day you will look back and understand why it happened. Sometimes it takes a bit longer for the sun to break, broken hearts mend, it may take a while but they heal. However shattered hearts are a different kind of strain .The remedy is available but the ingredients are scarce. Time always reveals why we went through a test and the lessons we are learning may guide us to something unexpectedly good. You will come to the realization that if what happened didn't happen you would have never been on the path to fulfill your destiny.Even through the mo
BrentJealousy ; that ugly green eyed monster that crops up every time you think you have everything sussed out, under control, and safe. I have to admit I get insanely envious and It can sometimes lead to regret for doing what I did for fear of abandonment, seeing someone as a rival or losing what's mine.I've seen my own brother as a rival and threat before. Never have I ever trusted him around my wife, because he always gave off a vibe that he wants her and he would do anything. Some connections are unbreakable; given circumstance and event . Yesterday my father asked me if I ever wanted to be an uncle. When I said yes he directly told me that Clara and Carl's son was alive . Carlo knew nothing and it was for the best because doing what he did then was for the best. He needed to save all three lives and the accident happened at the right time . The same people who had threatened to kill Clara and Caleb were the same People t
ClaraThere is a reason why things are kept under lock and key, and why lovers become friends .Things are kept under lock and key for safety ...or they are kept under lock and key and hidden so that no one can find them .However for lovers who become friends there is an unspoken rule that always remains after the fire and rain. When you say; I love you. It means that I have your back , call me I will pick up , knock at my door at two in the morning crying I will be there for you and anytime you need to talk I am here... But only as friendsCarlo and I made a promise to each other when we became official. If ever we grew apart we'd still be there for each other for support . I had been so wrapped up in my own life that I almost forgot the month we were in. I don't know why it took me getting trapped in an elevator with with Carl to realize that he had been hurting . We were still trapp
ClaraThe heart has a way of healing itself. No matter how bruised, or broken ; our ability to love even when it hurts helps with the healing processes. Everything heals eventually;physically or emotionally .To know that you are loved is the best feeling ever. You were either held by someone in your darkest hour , meant something to someone when you felt like nothing or you gave love and melted a heart of ice . Fact is you opened up your heart to love.We all have reasons as to why we do what we do or react in certain situations. Life happens we can't control it ; how we respond and react can make a difference .Andrew's grandfather was with him when Brent and I made our way back to his hospital room Seppi smiled when he saw both Brent and me enter the room . To our surprise Carlo was alone at the far end looking out the window . His hair was messy and his eyes were blood shot red. My
ClaraThe day told Carlo me he loved me ;was the second best day of my life . If I said first I would be lying and Brent would lose it cause in all honesty my wedding day and night was the best but above all that when I gave birth to both my children who I love to Pluto and back .So I guess it's the third most best day.When Carlo said love he meant love . He was very patient with me and I with him . What made us work at that point in time was the level of love, respect, and appreciation we had for each other . We had already communicated via mail for the first month of our relationship but all in all I thought Ally liked him but she didn't she was in love with Gio .Following our secret meetings and occasional dates, which led to me moving in temporarily with Carl and switching houses to the new one he built, we pretty much had the makings of a college couple madly in love . Except for one thing we hadn't slept together Althoug
34ClaraPeople often say ;you never forget your first love , but truth be told you can never forget who taught you love , made you feel loved, experience love, make love, and give love unconditionally in return. I've always said making love has more to do than just sex .It is the combination of two energies fusing together to create life and love. I have a rule ;you have to know and trust the person you're "making love to " as much as yourself . Communication and honesty is always key . You don't learn how to speak with out words overnight or hear someone's heart without them saying a word. Loving someone unconditionally requires understand and patience .The person you want to be with should compliment and not complete you . You should be a whole being by yourself . I'm also human. I'm a woman too. I have my insecurities ; I freak out sometimes either cause I feel like I'm not thin enough,exciting
ClaraLoss, bereavement, pain and acceptance . Four words that can describe how I felt before I called it a day on my four year relationship with Carlo . As far as relationships go this one really cut me, Luke was a lesson learned... Mainly cause Carl and I had history and never in a million years had I dreamt that the one who swore forever would break my heart ... But then again nothing lasts forever , you have to keep fighting to keep your head above water ; no mater how hard you try not sink to the bottom you end up drowning if you don't get help. Endurance , stamina , will, faith and passion gets you through the hardest of times , you just need to remember you're not in this journey alone ,just when you think the "darkness" will consume you the sun will break. We all possess a supernatural power called love it's like an evergreen plant for all seasons and a power we can all tap into when all else seems hopeless or when things are just falling a