Three

Jacob’s POV,

I left as soon as she headed to her house. I found it funny that she found me in the park tonight. In one of my dark moments. She made me feel better. She made me forget why I was there in the first place. Her eyes seemed to be just as sad as mine, but I had no idea why she was sad. I had no idea who this girl really was or why she has to see my father. She doesn’t seem to be crazy in any way. She was quiet and didn’t ask a lot of questions, but she seems to also know a lot. What she doesn’t know is I was late for my mother’s dinner party. Or the fact that my father has a drinking problem. Or the fact that my father has an anger problem. Or the fact that my mother turns her head the other way. Or how much pain I have to go through. She doesn’t know that I take my father’s anger so my mother is protected.

I could turn out to be just like my father, but I do my best not to. All I want to do is run. Run as far away from this place and never look back. I have picked up a drink before. I have slammed things against the wall. I could just fight back, but none of it makes anything better. Instead, I put on my face and become the robot that I am. I think that Sadie can see right through all of that. I should just keep her away from me and my lies and shitty existence. I’m too broken for her. I’m too broken for myself. I’m no good to anyone. I finally reached my house and I just went to my car and crawled into the back seat. I laid down and crossed my arms and closed my eyes. My dreams were filled with Sadies face. Her angelic beautiful face.

The knocking on my car window woke me up. I jumped up and looked. My father stood there. “Boy take your ass in the house.”

“Yes sir,” I said as I got out of the car. The sun was just starting to come up over the hills. I closed my car door and looked at my father in the eyes. He stood his ground and I headed inside the house. This large home wasn’t home at all. It always felt dark and cold. It was quiet and I stood by the window and watched my father leave for work or whatever he did this early in the morning. I had to be at school in two hours. I went into my room and fell back onto my bed. I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep, but that wasn’t an option. I took a deep breath and went into the bathroom. I got up and tossed my sweats on and headed out for my normal run. I ran and ran until I thought my heart would stop.

I got home just in time to have a shower and get to school. I looked at the cut on my lip and had to come up with more lies. More lies to tell me, so-called friends. My so-called girlfriend and my so-called life. Just like normal Danny and Tylar were waiting for me. I sighed and got out of my car. “Dude, what happened to your lip?” Was the first question to come out of Danny’s mouth.

“Some jack ass pissed me off.” That was all I said. Kennedy came walking over to me with her lip out.

“You were supposed to see me last night. Where were you?” She said. Meaning I was supposed to fuck her and make her feel better about herself. I just rolled my eyes.

“I was busy Kennedy,” I said and just sort of brushed her off.

“You could of at least answered your phone. I could have made other plans Jacob.”

“Do whatever you want Kennedy,” I said. “I’m not your keeper.” I hollered out as I was walking away.

“Hey what’s your problem today?” Danny asked.

“Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind.” Sadie was the only thing on my mind this morning. I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. I started to walk the halls of the school. I was looking all around, but I didn’t see her anywhere. I could hear people yelling out my name and I just ignored them as I kept my focus on finding her face.

“Looking for me?” I heard her voice ring out. I turned to see her sitting on the stairs. I smiled at her and she gave me a smile in return. I walked over to her and sat down next to her.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Jacob.” She said back to me. I started to talk to her when Kennedy and her pack of wolves came walking around the corner. Shit, I said to myself.

“Jacob?” Kennedy said as she noticed me. I leaned in close to Sadie.

“I’m sorry about this,” I said to her. I got up and headed over to Kennedy.

“Who’s the girl Jacob?” Kennedy said and I could see the anger in her eyes. Sadie just remained seated and quiet.

“She’s no one, come on let’s go.” Kennedy just gave Sadie the death look and I put my arms around Kennedy and tried to move her away from Sadie. She would tear Sadie apart with just her hateful words.

“Why were you sitting with that loser?” Kennedy asked me. I could feel anger coming on.

“She is not a loser Ken, she is just a new student I had to show around,” I said as easily as I could without losing my shit. I turned to glance at Sadie and she just had her head down. I took a deep breath and I was mad at myself. The only person I actually wanted to see and I just walk away from her. I knew she could hear Kennedy’s words, but she just kept to herself and said nothing. The rest of the day, Sadie didn’t even look at me and I knew she must have been upset with me. After school, there was a huge lake party going on. A party that happened every year. Anyone who was anyone would be there, but the one person I wanted there, I knew wasn’t going to be. I wanted to figure out a way out of it, but what kind of party didn’t have their king there.

The party was loud and full of dumb kids drinking and swimming and having a good time. Kennedy was dancing in my lap and I was just staring intensely at the fire. Thinking how good it would feel to just burn. Kennedy was drunk like normal and all she wanted for me to do was take her into the woods and have my way with her, but I didn’t even want to move. “What’s your problem, Jacob? Don’t you want me?” She asked with her lips close to my ear.

“Yeah, I want you to get off of me. Put some ice on it, Ken.” I snapped at her.

“Whatever Jacob, someone out there will want me and then you will feel like shit for ignoring me.” She snapped and walked off. I rolled my eyes like I really gave a shit who she fucked. I grabbed a beer and walked off into the woods. My head was spinning and it wasn’t from drinking. I hated everything and everyone. I hated the world and life. I had all of the school at my fingertips and I had never felt more alone. I came to a clearing in the woods. No one was anywhere near me. I fell to my knees and hollered out as loud as I could. I threw my beer across the grass and pulled my pocket knife. I opened it and just looked at it for a moment. I poked my finger with it and blood fell down my finger. I took a deep breath as I started to cut at my wrist.

All of a sudden the knife was ripped from my hand and I watched it in the air go flying. My heartbeat picked up as I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I then heard footsteps running towards me from behind. I jumped back and saw her coming towards me. “What the hell are you doing?” Sadies voice snapped as she fell to her knees in front of me and wrapped a piece of silk around my wrist. I didn’t know what to say to her. I was in shock as I watched her look at my wrist. Her eyes were scared as she started to calm down. I had only given myself a small cut before, before my knife. I didn’t even know what the hell my knife did.

“Sadie, what are you doing here?” I asked her softly.

“Taking care of you, it looks like.” She said as she cleaned my cut the best she could. “Jacob, this is never the answer, never!” She snapped.

“Why do you care Sadie, you don’t even know me.”

“Someone has to.” She said softly. I just closed my eyes as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream out, but all of a sudden all I felt was a calmness run over my whole body. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her and held on. “Let’s take you home Jacob.”

“I don’t want to go there,” I said to her.

“Okay, then I’ll take you to my home.” I just looked up at her. We sat together outside on her front porch and she handed me a cup of tea. She sat next to me. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked. I just shook my head.

“I want to know what you were doing out there?” She just looked at me.

“I was at the party.”

“Bullshit Sadie, I know better than that.” I snapped. She looked to the ground. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You have to give me some answers Sadie. I feel like I’m losing my mind.” I said to her softly.

“I can’t give you any Jacob, I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath. I reached out and touched her cheek with the back of my hand and she closed her eyes.

“Your something special, aren’t you Sadie?” I said looking right at her. She laughed a little.

“Trust me, Jacob, I’m no one special.”