The house felt empty, hollow. The shrouded corners everywhere angrily kept still, making me suffocate. This was my refuge back in time, a place of pleasure and focus.Her absence made it feel like a prison to me. I was so accustomed to Varya being around; her powerful silence and her smell filled my nostrils like a drug. All that was left now was an unbearable sound of silence marking the moment she left once and for all.On our shared bed’s edge, I sat, looking down at that pillow supposedly belonging to Varya last night before she looked for bedbugs under the table behind this wall.There was also some scent other than hers mixed within these sheets but most importantly I could still sense even though it was fading slowly away every day passing by. It had been weeks since she disappeared. No notes, no calls.She hadn’t even said goodbye. At first, I thought it was because our contract had ended—that she had simply walked away as planned. After all, we had agreed on this from the beg
TIA’S POVBlood lingered in the air as I dried the blade using the wet dustcloth in my hand. I looked at the surface wound, which I had just made on Varya's arm. She grimaced, attempting to hold back her pain seemingly.But her face revealed all; it was pale and there were hints of colors like purple on it. Her eyes met mine contemptuously; however, fear was in there somewhere."You're not so special now, are you?"I muttered, leaning in close. The bitterness in my voice barely masked the jealousy bubbling beneath my skin."I don’t see what Theo saw in you. And Kylo? What could either of them possibly want with someone like you?"She stayed silent, her lips pressed into a thin line. That infuriated me even more. I wanted to see her break, to hear her scream, to understand what it was about this "peasant girl" that had both Theo and Kylo so captivated. What did she have that I didn’t?I straightened up and stared at her, my mind racing. Theo had been obsessed with Varya for years. Befo
VARYA’S POVDespite the sweat that adhered to my forehead, the cold bit into my skin. Every shallow breath I took caused the red, painful marks of the ropes on my wrists and ankles to pierce deeply into my body.With just one lightbulb dangling haphazardly from the ceiling to produce strange shadows on the unfinished concrete walls, the room was damp and dark. It seemed that time blurred into nothingness; an indistinct interval could not be told apart from another one.Ignoring the pain that radiated from a new cut on my arm which Tia had made out of her latest round of jealousy was something I tried hard to do.I do not understand her hatred, so fierce and violent it burns within her. Her hate consumes her and it threatens to consume me too.My mind drifted off to Kylo; his memories manifested in flashes within my consciousness just like glimmers in darkness. At certain moments when he thought I was oblivious he would look at me differently.Rarely would he smile but even then it cou
Kylo’s povSitting by my desk, I held tightly the glass of whiskey that stared blankly at me. The room was silent – it was a strange thing – and the solitude gnawed at me, no matter how hard I tried to overlook it.I had attempted to go back to doing what I knew best; pretending Varya’s sudden disappearance did not tear me apart inside but it was worthless. Without her, the house felt more barren, and each moment dragged her absence deeper into my heart's performance.But this wasn’t just about missing her. Something didn’t sit right with me—Varya wouldn’t have just disappeared. Not without saying goodbye to me, or at the very least, to my grandfather.He adored her like his own daughter, and she respected him deeply. She would have seen him one last time.I sat back in my chair and wiped my face with my palm. I started to think about the first time Varya had told me about her ex-fiance, Theo.I didn’t pay much attention to him at the time, figuring he was just a part of her past, not
THEO’S POVI was pacing around like crazy. The small room seemed to be getting smaller and smaller as all corners were filled with shadows coming at me from different angles.The beating of my heart could be heard from miles away whereas inside me guilt was twisting my guts into a mass of jangling wires beyond which no one could ever find their way back again. What on earth did I do? I can’t face myself anymore because of shame.There was even some nicotine left on my lips from an earlier cigarette meant more for calming than anything else, yet it did nothing at all. Nothing could help now.Varya.She was here. Locked away beneath my roof like some kind of prisoner. No, she was a prisoner. A prisoner because of me. Because of my weakness, my inability to let her go. What the hell had I been thinking? That bringing her here would magically make things better?That she’d somehow remember what we once had and fall into my arms like nothing had ever happened?I stopped pacing, staring at
VARYA’S POVThe darkness consumed me, it was stifling. I lost track of the day and night altogether as time turned into a torture of pain and fright. The torment had left my body aching from Tia’s brutalities.I felt like my skin had been sliced with knives and I was on the verge of going crazy because of her continuous insults and threats. Both physically and emotionally, I was hurt beyond recognition.Nonetheless, amid all this madness, I held onto that little glimmer of hope hanging by a thread.I had to survive. I needed to escape.Kylo’s face is the last thing on my mind, yet it's the first thing I see each time close my eyes. Deep down I knew he was both my lifeline and tormentor in this journey that had pushed me to the edge of lunacy once before even having attempted to break out from within.Our affair was underpinned by lies but during such moments when life seems unbearable; somehow I find myself going back to those days we spent together.His fingers grazed over mine as if
KYLO’S POVThe workplace felt eerily silent, deranged without its customary noises of background bothers. Once bustling with a lot of people and energy, my surroundings were now lifelessly tranquil.For several minutes I focused on my computer’s screen but absentmindedly flicking through those untested files piled up high on my table.There was nothing important anymore—the whole world no longer interested me—everything appeared so pointless before her very eyes even though she would have lived forever in dreams only if she never got tired.Varya.Her name would not go from my thoughts; it was like an eerie refrain that would not go away. I had mentally gone over every scenario and possibility of what might have happened to her, but nothing made sense. She had vanished without a trace, leaving an emptiness in her wake that swallowed everything.I hadn’t wanted to believe it at first, the idea that she could leave like that. In spite of all we had gone through together and all of the m
I slowly slouched down and sat on the floor leaning my head against the wall and closing my eyes. The yawning of sleep was a welcome relief for the tired enemas but sleep would not come. Not when I could not go a moment without thinking of her and seeing her face each and every time I shut my eyes.Not when all the time spent not with her felt as if they lasted for an eternity.I was breaking. It was something I could literally sense all over my body. This anguish, this regret… more than anything the longing for something that had never even existed for them… and it was just unbearable. At that, I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on until something interesting happened that caught my attention.But I had to. I had to find her. For both our sakes.The low glow of my desk lamp pulsated, sending restless silhouettes dancing across various papers strewn on top of my desk. Another night without sleep; another day without Varya. Days had gone since she had disappeared and every hint