ONCE VALUED

¶Aiyla PoV¶

Everyone needs a house to lie in. 

but a supportive family

is what builds a home.

- Anthony Liccione

* * * * * * * * 

Every child wants a happy family, a place where she can feel secure, protected and in the warmth of their loved ones. A place where she can live a happy, playful and carefree life where she knows she is loved and cared for without being insecure.

A place where she can speak her mind without being judged and a place where she feels protected and safe from the harshness of society. Just like any other girl I was happy to live in my own small world playing and enjoying life to the fullest.

I guess that was the best feeling I ever had without being able to worry about anything. I never had to think and fret about all the evil things that exist my life was simple and fun.

What else a girl needed when she had loving parents, a loving brother, an adorable grand dad and all the luxury she was showered with.

I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Once I was valued and loved by all!

I was in my small gaga world where I thought no one could harm me. I was so innocent and naive to think that life can be so easy to live.

Little did I know that evil was lurking around me clouding my happy life full of darkness.

Life had another surprise stored for me which I was not aware of, a surprise that was going make my life fall apart. A twisted fate that was going to turn my life upside down.

I started thinking of myself as a cursed child and started cursing my parents for bringing me into this world. Soon I was falling into the darkness, losing all hopes to live my life.

All I wanted to do was to run away from my family from the life of suffering. I became rebellious and started a war against my parents.

I stopped thinking what people would think of me what would my family say or think. It was me against the world!

So much anger grew inside me that nobody could handle my angry nature though I was already a stubborn and indignant,

but I never used to be a violent girl.

However because of family conflicts I became more and more aggressive in nature. I was paying the price for my parents' mistake.

Whatever happiness I felt or had was just for a short period of time.

I never understood why fate played such a dirty and perverted game with me, why it fooled me!

I felt like so much darkness and negativity was surrounding me all the time. There were so many negative thoughts ploughing inside me that I stopped looking at life positively.

All the time I was desperately looking for answers..answers which were unanswered.

I still haven't got an answer as to why fate played me?

What was my fault to suffer so much pain and agony?

Did I deserve to be treated this way?

Did I deserve to be mentally and physically abused? 

Why me?

What was my fault? 

Why did God punish me for my parents' mistakes?

For god's sake I was just a growing up child, did I deserve this?

No never never I deserved this sort of life no children deserve this kind of crooked life. My fucking disastrous life became shackles for me neither could I get rid of it nor I could die.

I believed growing up that I had a picture perfect family, a family so good to be true. But every good thing comes with a flaw right and not everything you are shown is true.

As I grew up I started understanding little by little that my life was a hoax from the beginning leading me to think I had a flawless family who loved, cared for each other, supported and trusted each other.

I understood my parents were one fucken selfish assholes who never gave damn about their children's feelings nor their life. They never thought about the consequences of their decisions.

From what I heard from my so-called relatives and grandpa they tried to stop my parents from making a wrong decision but it was like they were convinced and stuck with whatever they planned on doing.

A decision which changed me and my brother Rylan's life forever. The facade they kept half their life finally was seen!

It was like all those times there was a thin line between the truth and lie which they kept hidden and only upon looking up-close you would see the mirror.

All those times my parents were building a life and family with deception and misleading us to think we had a prosperous life. They were playing a game deceiving everyone around them including us.

Family is supposed to build trust, support and love not based on palter. Did they forget a life full of lies and deceit does not last long and it will end someday. Their lie only caused destruction, heartbreak and pain not only for them but also for us.

I mean I don't understand why people fall in love and get married, bear children if they cannot be true to each other give a good future and life to their children.

Either go all the way or don't take that path!

For fuck-sake! why do always children has to suffer for thier parents mistakes fuck those parents who cannot live up to their responsibilities though me n my brother both suffered but especially me.

My life got fucked cause of them!

As for my so-called asshole brother, his hair did not even get plucked, he never suffered any of the pain that I was inflicted on.

I had a one fucked up family! All of them are selfish and assholes.

There is a saying "Home is the first school for the children" well it's true home is really the first school for any children whatever they first learn they learn from the family, from the elders, from their surroundings and environment around them.

School being their second home to learn, develop and grow further.

After a child is born family plays a huge part in their life while growing up it is them who will become their role model, it is from them they assimilate. 

But did my parents become my role model! No fuckin' hell! I was so close to destroying my life because of them.

Did I learn a lesson?

Answer to that question would be yes! 

I learned the biggest lesson of my life, a lesson which I will never forget.

Parents like them can never be an inspiration or role model for any children. Person like them shouldn't even be allowed to be a parent.

It's not like they did not teach us anything at the beginning when our life was perfect we were taught to be independent, strong and truthful.

My mother always used to say never be dependent on others. You should stand for yourself and be courageous to follow your dreams.

My parents used to encourage us to study hard, they used to say education is the foremost important thing in your life and it will be the base of your future.

They made sure for us to take part in extra activities as well even when at home they would motivate us to play games and engage us in household activities. We were always taught and given knowledge that every human being is equal, every child has the right to educate and to respect your elders.

To be honest, violence is not the only way to solve a problem. Always stand for yourself and fight for your rights.

While growing these grasps kept me strong and helped me in my difficulties.

I fought for my life and for my rights.

Nonetheless everything bad that had happened to me, I was never deprived like every other child. I was provided with everything that I needed all the luxuries and desires were fulfilled got educated in top notch school and colleges.

And guess what!

 I stood out strong, fierce, independent and became the female alpha I'm today!