Broken Family

¶Aiyla PoV¶

"When you inherit a broken

Family, you can't throw it

Away and get a new one

What you can do is

Find People and situations

That provide for you

What your family cannot"

Iyanla Vanzant

**************

The separation of my parents changed our lives in a 90 degree angle where we had to live with criticism, sympathy and pity for us in people's eye. My dad literally became the mother and father for both of us.. he started taking care of us and our needs.

He became the mother who would bathe us, cook for us, be there when we fall and hurt ourselves, and he became our anchor in life. Though he was hurt and broken from inside after what happened between my mum and dad he actually never showed it to us and became strong for us.

I had always heard a story of my parents' great love and how they fought against the family to be with each other and when my grandparents did not agree for their marriage they eloped and got married and how my uncle and aunt's sheltered them.

It was only after a while my parents got accepted from both sides after lots of convincing from my relatives. I also heard that my father got slapped for eloping with my mother. My father loved my mum a lot. He had fulfilled every wish and demand of my mother.

After spending some days with my mom at our maternal grandparents house we came back home to our father where we learned and overheard that it was my mother who asked for a divorce from my father. We were shocked to hear this new information and we also heard them saying how can my mother be so cruel for leaving her children and not agreeing to take us with her. They were also saying that freedom was more important for her than her children.

Did she even loved us and my dad?

Every information, every news brought tears to our eyes and shattered our little hearts. So many questions started emerging in our mind like was it our fault that she wanted to divorce our father because as far as I remember I never saw my parents fighting.

I only saw how they loved each other and how my father cared and fulfilled her every wish. So what was the reason for the divorce that was a big question! Later that night my dad asked us if my mother said anything to us about her absence and why she is not here with us and we told our dad what conversation we had with our mom.

He questioned us if we knew what divorce was and we answered by nodding and saying two people living separately after marriage. You see me and my brother were really smart plus we used to watch lots of movies. That's how we came to know about the word divorce and the meaning of it but we never knew what we watched in movies we would be experiencing the same as well.

The same night another bomb was dropped that my mother gave full custody of us to my father that she was not willing to take us her with her when we heard this we did not know how to react cause each and every time of that day. We kept hearing new things, thus we understood what my cousin's were saying about "my mother being cruel and not agreeing to take us with her" statement.

We were so crushed, exhausted and tired by crying but still we wept from broken hearts, we wept for our mother, we wept for our broken family. We never understood why my mom decided to leave us cause my father never mistreated her, he was always sweet and loving towards her. My dad loved her so much that he forgave every mistake she made; he accepted her with her flaws and fulfilled her every wish and demand.

I remember my father telling us that when she asked for permission to work he let her work even when she did not need to. He gave her freedom to pursue and fulfill her dreams and be independent. He never stopped or restricted my mother from doing anything. He always dotted her, supported her and became her backbone.

He made her dream true of studying in the USA by agreeing to send her there and pursue her further studies for a year or two. He was always there for her no matter what happened! As far as we know my father was a good man. A loving husband and a loving father so what was the reason for the divorce the same question kept looming in our mind.

It was a big question for us!

We were too small for finding our answer or for anyone to give us a reason. Everybody gave their own theory and lied about the divorce upon asking nobody to tell us the exact reason. I guess at that time being a child somehow had some disadvantages for us.

My father said that my relatives did warn him about giving my mother too much freedom but he never listened to them. Even my dad's friend warned him but he did not care. Oh! I remember there were several occasions of her leaving us alone with our dad like the time when she left us to go to the USA for further studies.

I cried and begged her not to go and take me with her or the time she left us for 2-3 days to spend time with her friends Or when she decided to send us to boarding school even when my father was against it. I guess she was cruel and stone hearted like my relatives said cause we used to beg her not to leave us alone but she never cared I guess.

When we were together I also remember her being a loving and caring mother who fulfilled our every demand, cooked for us, bathed us, worried for us when we got sick, and dotted us with so much love. That we never thought that one day our mother never wanted us and left us alone to grow with pity, criticism and sympathy.

Was her love for us only a pretense?

I doubt it if she truly loved us she would not have left us.