LOGINShare
LIFE. [ PROLOGUE ]
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56Ever wondered what life would be like if you discovered you're born in a society where every single step you take is watched and judged by some no-good-for-nothing looking to ruin some young man or girl's life?
Ever wondered what life would be like for the next person who can't come out and live their true. Trapped to remain who they aren't because to be who they are could lead to their demise?
Are you a Wonderer or is this your Reality?
If you're wondering then you're in the right place to get your answers but if you're unfortunate as I am and you are indeed living this life right now then I feel for you with all my heart because no one can understand the pain and confusion better than I do.
This was my everyday life for years and if you're still trapped to play pretense with your life as if it were a game then you would understand this story and relate to it because this is my story as a gay man who is unfortunate enough to be born in Nigeria were to be who I am could send me to jail for years, lead to my family disowning me and my life getting ruined forever so much that I would wish I were never born or I might as well, take a knife to my heart and end the miserable life if it gets too unbearable.
In the news today I would hear of a teenage boy who hung himself or poisoned himself for no reason whatsoever.
That story is so unrealistic and I wonder how they tell it proudly to the public.
I don't agree with that because nobody wakes up one morning and decides that what they want to do is end their life, just like that, without any reason. That boy or girl. Man or woman might be going through too much and they don't see any other way to end their suffering.
But, it always left me wondering if they did it because they were like me.
I was desperate for an answer.
I needed to know I wasn't alone but as far as I knew it, I was alone.
I am the only one I know that is like me.
That is one hellish life to live.
Well, here I am lost between living my true and hiding away for the rest of my life. I would pick the second alternative since that's pretty much the safest and the only reasonable choice. If I want to at least live this life albeit live it in agony I must stay silent.
What I know is for me to know alone.
A freak is what I am.
Nobody needs to know that.
My name is Emeka and this is my story. The story of my childhood, the story of how I blossomed into the freak I am. My coming of age and my discovery story. I will walk you step by step through my journey and how I realized that my life was doomed to be nothing but a big pile of misery and pain.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All non-English words would be written in italic so when you see words written in italic just know that the characters are speaking in their native language.
Related chapters
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) PUNS.
CHAPTER: 1.*****I have always said that life is cruel and in truth, it is. When you were born, you never got to choose where this journey would take you. You're just a victim of fate and whatever it wishes to do with you, it does, and there is nothing on earth you can do about it.You can't change it either.We became puns in the fierce grasp of fate.It picks you up by the head and shuffles you about pointlessly, you are left to catch yourself, to stand your grounds.Some say it eventually leads you to your destined place in life but I don't buy that for one day.Well, I almost didn't because I gave up on trying.We are only humans after all and there is a limit to what we can take.No matter how strong you are, life has a way of bending us until we are reduced to our outermost vulnerability.And you just have to live with it, whether you like it or not because to not live with it would be to kill yourself and that's just a permanent solution to a temporary problem, at least that's
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) AND THERE HE WAS.
CHAPTER: 2.••••••Three years had passed and I finally thought I had my life under control. At least, I tried to. I never got into any other troubles, and neither do I cause any. I was your typical book nerd. You will always find my face buried in a book, any book. It was my escape. There is always something special about the fictional world. When you're engrossed in a particular book you begin to imagine a life quite different from what you are used to and at that moment you are filled with excitement, you find yourself merging into a character and you become part of the action. Then the book ends and you just sat there reminiscing about what you had just read. Then you remembered that particular character who had died wrongly or didn't end with the right person romantically and you wanted a better ending for them. You began to recreate them in your minds, giving them a better ending for your peace of mind.It has always been like that with me. At ten, I was a good kid, I made
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) BITE ME IN THE ASS.
CHAPTER: 3.*****Schools had gone on midterm break, so there wasn't much to do other than sit at home, read or hang with friends.I don't hang out with friends.I have only one friend and he was always with me most of the time.That morning, I sat on my bed reading when I heard my mother yelling for me. I rolled my eyes, dumped my book on the bed, and made my way into the kitchen where her voice seemed to be coming from.One thing I don't like about holidays is that's when parents and older siblings remember you exist and they won't allow you a moment of rest without sending you on one errand to another until you're either hiding away or claiming to be doing something extremely important.Even at that, they would still demand to know what the important thing is, so you have to be very creative with your lies."Yes, mom," I answered once I was in front of the open door.I have always wanted to learn how to cook but my father was one of those.He would send me packing whenever he saw m
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) DIFFERENT.
Chapter: 4.*****We made it to the hotel in about thirty minutes and I never said another word.I was lost for one.Chima took care of the necessary bills and even bought us refreshments for when we finished swimming. Knowing that I had no choice but to at least join in on the fun.It doesn't matter.I could just sit at the edge of the pool and watch them have fun.I'm here, that's all that mattered, right?So, with that thought in mind, I went into the changing room and began undressing. The twins were in a stall just opposite mine but Chima was nowhere to be found. I figured he might still be getting something for us and since he gave me his backpack, I just unzipped and pulled out what I needed and changed into them."You ready?" George's unnecessary high-pitched tone sounded from behind me and I grimaced while turning around to face him."You didn't have to yell, I was right behind you..." I rolled my eyes, zipped the backpack, and placed it neatly on the bench. "And yes, I'm r
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) OUR LOVE IS WRONG.
Chapter: 5.*****The twins eventually decided to step out of the water. They made their way toward us, pushing and shoving each other playfully. "Started the party without us, huh?" Paul gave Chima a fist bump and then took a seat beside him while his brother sat on his left-hand side."So?" George started and I knew he was going to make funny remarks about my predicaments."How is it possible that you both were there watching while Emy almost drowned?" He asked, eyes darting from one twin to the other."We weren't watching." Paul retorted, his eyes wandering from one dish to the next, hands rubbing excitedly against the other and tongue licking at his lips in anticipation."We only wanted to give him a few more minutes to see if he would get the hang of it and get a hold of himself," George clarified with a small smile formed on his cheeks. He took an apple and chomped on it."He wasn't even drowning," Paul tsked and regarded me. "He was just scared and if you hadn't rushed in to s
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) HIS LOVE, MY LIFE.
Chapter: 6.******It was on a Saturday and school was starting back up on Monday. I was in my room getting my books ready when I heard Chima's voice speaking with my sister. She knew I was home but because she noticed I was avoiding him she lied to him that I wasn't home.At this point, I had already frozen in one spot. Eyes glaring at the door with utmost concentration, my hands glued on the stack of books I was supposed to be shoving into my backpack, and my ears focused on the smallest of sounds so I could make my move.I was going to hide under the bed this time or in my bathroom or the closet if I catch the faintest of footsteps steering towards my bedroom door.They both spoke for a little while longer then I heard footsteps approaching. Putting my plans in motion I went to my knees and quickly tried to crawl under my bed but the sound of Ada's voice at my bedroom door halted me. "It's just me." She whispered. I was peeking up from my kneeling position, hands pressed into the
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) SLAVE TO HIS SOUL
Chapter: 7.*****"What are we?" I asked. I needed to know.This wasn't the normal way of things, is it?Since I was born until now, all I knew about this sort of relationship is that it's a sin not only against God but man as well, and if we had decided to be in this sin then what does it mean for us?I felt his gaze burning into mine as he hovered on top of me. My eyes fought a losing battle at staying open the more he leaned into me and I found myself pushing back against the bed. I had no idea where I hoped to be running to. I was on the bed and him on top of me like a predator about to devour its prey but only taking its time to find the right spot to dig in first. His lips got closer until he had them pressed into mine. I let him kiss me again, wrapping my arms around his shoulder and pulling him closer to me. He groaned when our bulges pressed into each other and my eyes rolled into the back of my head in bliss. He had me under his spell.I craved him in ways that scared me
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) BETRAYAL
Chapter: 8.*****Ever get that feeling of emptiness? Feeling of complete worthlessness.You're alive but you don't feel alive. You just find yourself drifting through each day like a mindless wind blowing around a plastic bag repeatedly in the same whirl-circle of nothingness, without an obvious direction or destination. You're tossing and turning, losing the sense of time...of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You're trying to make life worthwhile, to find a reason to go on but none seem reachable from a hundred miles away...no, stretch that, a million miles away. Your heart yearns for something or someone.You know these feelings too well...Your constant companion. There is an infinite craving trapped deep in your soul. You feel them protruding through your very being, clawing at your heart with such ferocity so much so you shuddered from it.You need a cure, an antidote...a total restoration. You know exactly where to find mitigation but the maddening realization of truth mock
Latest chapter
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) FULLY HIS.
Chapter: 11.*****The order received was enough to get me moving and fast. I made it to the bedroom and admired the spacious bed large enough to accommodate four men. The white sheets looked soft even by staring at them, my heart hammering in my chest as the thoughts of getting ravished on that bed crossed my mind. My throat dust-dry as I blinked my eyes away from the sinful bed and rather have them staring at the black suitcase with things I didn't recognize stuffed in it. Cautiously, I approached the bag and went on my knees then I began picking out well-wrapped packages and then unwrapping them. I swallowed when I read what it was for and as well understood the meaning of "clean up" that Chima spoke about.Pulling what I needed I dropped them on the bed and then began stripping. Naked now I gathered my items and made my way into the bathroom where I commenced to thoroughly wash my body and make sure I was clean enough for him. I was anxious while rubbing myself down with light oil
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) RUNAWAY.
Chapter: 10*****"I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I went to my knees and held his hand. He smiled at me. "Not a day went by that I did not think of you. If there was a reason to live it was you." He blinked wetness away from his eyes and I watched his tears drop on my hand. "I keep having the same dream every night. It's a dream of being held by you. It's true...your hands caressed my entire body. The touch of your heated skin, I feel warm all over...your breaths against my ear...your voice, they keep whispering... I love you." I gazed into his eyes and he leaned into me, his forehead pressed against mine."I do love you. I knew I made you promise and I wanted to make sure I fulfill that promise and I am here to do just that." "You still want to marry me and make me your wife?" I mused shyly. "If you would have me?" I nodded in response."Yes, I will." He sealed our lips again and I moaned. When he pulled away, he peered into my eyes."You were going to get married to someone else?
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) SEX ON LEGS.
Chapter: 9*****I had experienced sadness.Loneliness and depression, so dense... So dark it destroys, picks apart your sanity, and threatens to drive you over the edge.Panic my constant companion.I know utter and absolute fear.I know hopelessness.The feeling of being lost, horribly displaced. And I'm especially familiar with the question, that one dominant question...Will he ever come back?I was lonely.Life was never fun.Nothing made sense.I only craved one human being and I couldn't even have him. I don't even know where the hell he is or where to begin searching for him.Will I even find him if I indeed went ahead to begin with my clueless search?I needed to get away from this place.They were on to me.They have remembered me.If nothing is done quicker, then my life is as good as over, finished completely wasted. As I stood there behind my door with my ear pressed so tightly into it that it burns, I realized how everything must come to an end someday.*******"There
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) BETRAYAL
Chapter: 8.*****Ever get that feeling of emptiness? Feeling of complete worthlessness.You're alive but you don't feel alive. You just find yourself drifting through each day like a mindless wind blowing around a plastic bag repeatedly in the same whirl-circle of nothingness, without an obvious direction or destination. You're tossing and turning, losing the sense of time...of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. You're trying to make life worthwhile, to find a reason to go on but none seem reachable from a hundred miles away...no, stretch that, a million miles away. Your heart yearns for something or someone.You know these feelings too well...Your constant companion. There is an infinite craving trapped deep in your soul. You feel them protruding through your very being, clawing at your heart with such ferocity so much so you shuddered from it.You need a cure, an antidote...a total restoration. You know exactly where to find mitigation but the maddening realization of truth mock
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) SLAVE TO HIS SOUL
Chapter: 7.*****"What are we?" I asked. I needed to know.This wasn't the normal way of things, is it?Since I was born until now, all I knew about this sort of relationship is that it's a sin not only against God but man as well, and if we had decided to be in this sin then what does it mean for us?I felt his gaze burning into mine as he hovered on top of me. My eyes fought a losing battle at staying open the more he leaned into me and I found myself pushing back against the bed. I had no idea where I hoped to be running to. I was on the bed and him on top of me like a predator about to devour its prey but only taking its time to find the right spot to dig in first. His lips got closer until he had them pressed into mine. I let him kiss me again, wrapping my arms around his shoulder and pulling him closer to me. He groaned when our bulges pressed into each other and my eyes rolled into the back of my head in bliss. He had me under his spell.I craved him in ways that scared me
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) HIS LOVE, MY LIFE.
Chapter: 6.******It was on a Saturday and school was starting back up on Monday. I was in my room getting my books ready when I heard Chima's voice speaking with my sister. She knew I was home but because she noticed I was avoiding him she lied to him that I wasn't home.At this point, I had already frozen in one spot. Eyes glaring at the door with utmost concentration, my hands glued on the stack of books I was supposed to be shoving into my backpack, and my ears focused on the smallest of sounds so I could make my move.I was going to hide under the bed this time or in my bathroom or the closet if I catch the faintest of footsteps steering towards my bedroom door.They both spoke for a little while longer then I heard footsteps approaching. Putting my plans in motion I went to my knees and quickly tried to crawl under my bed but the sound of Ada's voice at my bedroom door halted me. "It's just me." She whispered. I was peeking up from my kneeling position, hands pressed into the
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) OUR LOVE IS WRONG.
Chapter: 5.*****The twins eventually decided to step out of the water. They made their way toward us, pushing and shoving each other playfully. "Started the party without us, huh?" Paul gave Chima a fist bump and then took a seat beside him while his brother sat on his left-hand side."So?" George started and I knew he was going to make funny remarks about my predicaments."How is it possible that you both were there watching while Emy almost drowned?" He asked, eyes darting from one twin to the other."We weren't watching." Paul retorted, his eyes wandering from one dish to the next, hands rubbing excitedly against the other and tongue licking at his lips in anticipation."We only wanted to give him a few more minutes to see if he would get the hang of it and get a hold of himself," George clarified with a small smile formed on his cheeks. He took an apple and chomped on it."He wasn't even drowning," Paul tsked and regarded me. "He was just scared and if you hadn't rushed in to s
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) DIFFERENT.
Chapter: 4.*****We made it to the hotel in about thirty minutes and I never said another word.I was lost for one.Chima took care of the necessary bills and even bought us refreshments for when we finished swimming. Knowing that I had no choice but to at least join in on the fun.It doesn't matter.I could just sit at the edge of the pool and watch them have fun.I'm here, that's all that mattered, right?So, with that thought in mind, I went into the changing room and began undressing. The twins were in a stall just opposite mine but Chima was nowhere to be found. I figured he might still be getting something for us and since he gave me his backpack, I just unzipped and pulled out what I needed and changed into them."You ready?" George's unnecessary high-pitched tone sounded from behind me and I grimaced while turning around to face him."You didn't have to yell, I was right behind you..." I rolled my eyes, zipped the backpack, and placed it neatly on the bench. "And yes, I'm r
SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL) BITE ME IN THE ASS.
CHAPTER: 3.*****Schools had gone on midterm break, so there wasn't much to do other than sit at home, read or hang with friends.I don't hang out with friends.I have only one friend and he was always with me most of the time.That morning, I sat on my bed reading when I heard my mother yelling for me. I rolled my eyes, dumped my book on the bed, and made my way into the kitchen where her voice seemed to be coming from.One thing I don't like about holidays is that's when parents and older siblings remember you exist and they won't allow you a moment of rest without sending you on one errand to another until you're either hiding away or claiming to be doing something extremely important.Even at that, they would still demand to know what the important thing is, so you have to be very creative with your lies."Yes, mom," I answered once I was in front of the open door.I have always wanted to learn how to cook but my father was one of those.He would send me packing whenever he saw m
