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15. A little about him
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2021-01-24 01:01:10Celia
"Sexual blame avoidance: This is the most popular explanation. It recognizes that women’s erotic desires may trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame. How can women enjoy robust sexual fantasies without developing these feelings? Fantasize about being forced. That way, women aren’t responsible for sex and need not feel distressed about it. I was forced. It wasn’t my fault.
Sexual desirability: This explanation reflects the arc of romance fiction, which is wildly popular among women (and the single largest- selling category of fiction). In romance novels, a powerful, dangerous man becomes so enthralled by the protagonist that he must have her, even if his pursuit is assaultive. Eventually, she tames him and they marry and have children. The sexual- desirability explanation says that women have rape fantasies to bolster feelings of seductiveness and desirability. I’m so hot. I drive men crazy.
Sexual openness: This explanation says that women who enj
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Ruthless Epilogue
Celia’s POV THREE YEARS LATER “I still remember the thirty minutes speech Lillian gave that day.” Sasha and I are watching the wedding album. It’s Cayden who took that out and showing it to his little brother, Ron. Sasha and Xavier married six months after our marriage. They have a kid now. He is one and half year old. Zed and Lilly has a boy. He is two. We all meet every summer. And this summer, we are busy for Ryan and Meg’s wedding. Alex is with all the three kids, he raised his hand. “Then she said, do you have any idea how many bodies this hand pierced and counted each vein—” “They are kids, Alex. They can’t understand that.” Sasha shouted. Of course, he would not listen. He is continuing the story of how I threatened Jonathan. “I think I did a mistake making him god father for my children. He is completely spoiling them.” Xavier hissed. No matter what, the children refuse to stay away from him. Because, he gives them chocolates, won’t let them touch the book
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Celia’s POV I was so habituated to seeing him in Black and greys and that too, they are sophisticatedly tailored shirts and suits. Now, watching him wear shorts, kaki or white T- shirts with half sleeves, loose shirts and printed trousers making me stare at him more often. They are making him look like a teenager. He knows that I have been staring at him. I didn’t try to shift my gaze when he caught me doing that. Its my right. I am confined to fit and flare crepe dresses. I can’t wear more. The climate is warm just like my life. “So, what are we going to do next?” There is a genuine interest in his voice with an added excitement. He looks careless, less worried and totally overjoyed about everything we have been doing. While we are walking, he attended few calls and that’s it. “Hakuna Matata.” He says. If that two words has a human form, it is Alexander King. I took the chance to go to a shop by excusing myself for washr
Ruthless 108. New plan
Celia's POV I apologized Meg for what Alex did. Ryan is so sure that she is going to be one of his constants. I am on the road where I am no more cutting the threads with the people who cared for me. I wanted to keep them all in my life like a family. Yes. I am making a family of friends. Alex would never apologize for what he did. At least, I should do that instead. "It's fine. I can understand." She said after a lot of explaining our situations. "He really seemed to like you and I am happy for you both as long as your husband doesn't misunderstand anything and keeps his hands to himself." I wanna say, 'I highly doubt that.' But, I nodded my head in approval. She smiled and I know. It's not that friendly but she doesn't resent me either. We walked back to the house in silence. The only noise we heard after in the house is that of plates and other utensils either slipped or thrown, glasses smashing to some kind of solid things- either floor or
Ruthless 107. At LA
Alexander’s POV I know this feeling of drawing someone’s picture when you miss them the most. We drew the curves as if we are touching them. We shade the corner of lips as if they are smiling for us and especially, we live in the moment of our past as if it is playing before us. We draw to stay close, to feel home, to feel safe, to feel their warmth and finally to feel them. I did it once after the death of that woman, after pushing Celia successfully because of my arrogant ass, nonsense judgment and baseless assumptions. I drew how she laughed after running away from the thugs. That was the first ever time I saw her laughing and giving a reaction like that. Back then or the other seconds before this instant, I never know that someone would miss me this much, that someone would love me this much and adore my laugh, cherish my little achievements, be proud of what I do and especially makes me feel that I am beautiful. Many said that before. But, feeling it without having to
Ruthless 106. Possibilities
“No.” He whispered after processing everything. That was a set up. Celia did that. For him, it meant only one thing. She trusted him enough. He is going to keep it. “I never saw you like that.” He told to the cute looking girl beside him. Not many people refer Amy as cute. But to him, she is still that little girl with backpack who followed him in silence. “It’s her. It's always have been her. I wasn’t good to her. I abused her. But, she didn’t think for a second to take my side when that woman who used to call herself my mother died. With her, I feel complete. I feel free and she doesn’t whine and complain. All she wants is me. That’s it. We both were so alike. I never felt so alive than I did with her. Because of her, I find myself attaching to Xavier again and we are good now. Even if it isn’t for her, I can’t really date you Amy. I could never be your man. That feels so wrong and Celia always feels so right no matter whatever it is.” “I know that I fucked up. But, what I felt for
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Celia’s POV I sat on the edge of my bed. Xavier and Sasha are looking at me like I am some Dinosaur walking naked in the middle of streets. I wrap my hands around my body hugging myself from the chilling weather. “Where is he?” I asked them. Xavier shook his head, “I am trying to reach him. He is not lifting my phone.” His slim apple phone slid smoothly in his hand while he played with it. I sighed as my shoulders fell slowly. “Come on. Since he was sixteen, he doesn’t like people taking care of his things. He might be angry. He will show himself sometime.” Sasha and I agreed with him. Xavier fell silent. ‘Cause the obvious truth is, since Alex was sixteen and all the years before, he has no one to take care of his things. By the time, Xavier entered, it is too late. Alex has started to become resistant to people until me.
Ruthless 104. Shitty plan
Celia’s POV It is like you came into a bright sun after spending hours amidst a dark room. The thing is, you still can’t see anything for a while. His kiss is like that. It makes me feel numb. The spots he is exploring are the only exception and my heart counts in too. He doesn’t touch it physically. I could feel it abused, loved, mended, broken and lived and is living since he came. After few minutes of daze, I am aware of the sound we are making and the surroundings we are in. I clutch his shirt near his waist in an attempt to push him, “Little one is here.” I whispered against his lips. “And awake.” His lips would not stop the assault. He sinks more in to my mouth. That’s exactly what I wanted. But, my mouth says otherwise. “You are being reckless.” He locked the door behind us. “You have three minutes to come. Cayden will b
