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Kabanata 72
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Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 73
PATRICIA’S POV Isang linggo na… Isang linggo na mula no’ng umuwi ako rito sa bahay at mag kulong sa kwarto buong araw. Isang linggo na rin ang lumipas simula ng mawala ang napakahalagang tao na inaasahan kong magsasalba sa’kin sa kalungkutan. Isang linggo na simula ng mawala ang anak ko. Good thing that the doctor were able to know the gender. It’s supposed to be mini me, a girl. Halos sumabog ang dibdib ko ng malaman ‘yon. It really broke my heart knowing that I wasn’t able to see her. I named her Agatha Celestine, sounds angelic just like her. Sila mommy ang nag asikaso ng lahat pati ang pagpapalibing. Hindi pa man ganap na tao ang anak ko pero naging masaya ako kahit saglit. I requested Jess to take a picture of her even though she’s not fully formed, even though she looks like a forming blood. She printed that photo and I was so happy, I placed her picture here in my room that I’m staring at every minute. “Anak, hindi ka ba kakain?” Rinig kong bumukas ang pinto at pumasok
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 74
PATRICIA’S POV “Why are you here? Leave me alone,” That’s the first words I said when I woke up and saw Jess here in my room. “Ngayon nga lang ulit ako nakadalaw-“ “Wala ako’ng sakit para dalawin,” sabi ko bago tumingin sa side table. I stared at Agatha’s picture there. I didn’t sleep well again. “You’re slowly turning rude…” Nilingon ko si Jess at na nakasimangot. Nakaramdam tuloy ako ng guilt. Ngayon nga lang ulit siya nakapunta rito dahil alam ko ay magsisimula na ulit ang klase niya sa med school as second year. “Bakit ka ba kasi nandito?” “I already enrolled for second year. Ikaw? Any plan?” maingat niya’ng tanong. Mabilis ako’ng umiling. I can’t proceed to my second year in med school. I think I’m too weak right now. “To be honest…I don’t know what to do in my life anymore…” I said in a strained voice. “I don’t think I can survive in med school if I’ll enrolled now,” “Sayang, ngayon lang kita hindi makakasama” lumungkot ang boses niya. “We were together since grade
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 75
PATRICIA’S POV Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakayanan ang mga nagdaan na linggo. Those weeks that turns into months have been so rough to me. Mabuti nga at naiwasan ko ang umiyak ng sobra. Good thing that I learned to control my emotions. Pero minsan, kapag naaalala ko si Agatha, nagiging emosyonal parin ako. Kapag naiisip ko ang posibilidad kung hindi siya nawala, bumabalik lang ang sakit. Bumabalik lang ang pangungulila ko. “Ano’ng gagawin mo sa mga yan, ate?” Nag angat ako ng tingin kay Jordan na nakahiga sa kama ko. “Itatapon o...susunugin,” sagot ko habang inilalagay sa isang box ang mga larawan namin ni Callum, especially our wedding photos. Naaalibadbaran lang ako kapag nakikita ang mga ito sa paligid. Hindi ako kuntento na itago lang ang mga ito kaya nag pasya ako’ng likumin lahat kahit ang mga naka-display sa sala at kwarto nila mommy. I don’t want to see any trace that reminds me of him. I badly want him to remove in my life. “I heard from mom yesterday that you want
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 76
PATRICIA’S POV Naalimpungatan ako sa ingay na naririnig mula sa labas ng kwarto. May mga nagtatawanan na tila nagkakasiyahan. Bumangon ako nang may kumatok sa pinto. “Patricia! Stop cooping in your room!” Kumunot ang noo ko ng makilala ang boses ng pinsan ko. Binuksan ko ang pinto at bumungad ang mga pinsan kong nakangiti. Sinugod nila ako ng yakap. “Beatrice…bakit kayo nandito?” taka kong sabi. “Bonding?” inirapan ako ng pinsan kong si Chloe. “Tagal na nating hindi nagkikita. Nag-aalala na rin kami sayo,” “Pumayat ka, ah” puna ni Julia at hinaplos ang mukha ko. “Pero maganda parin…” Inirapan ko sila bago bumalik sa kama. Inaantok pa ako. “If you want to enjoyed, just still outside, girls” I yawned. “Nabalitaan namin ang nangyari sa inyo ng asawa mo,” malungkot na usal ni Betrice. “Kahapon lang namin nalaman kay tita kaya ngayon lang kami nakabisita. Sorry for your baby…” “It’s okay. I’m moving on though,” “Well, just fixed yourself and go downstairs,” ani Chloe at hinila n
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 77
PATRICIA’S POV “Kamusta ang therapy mo? Ayos lang ba?” Ngayon lang ulit ako nabisita ni Jess sa bahay since nag simula na ulit ang class niya. As usual, she asked about my conditions and brought me foods. “It’s my last therapy yesterday and it was…awesome” Nakahiga siya sa kama habang ako ay inaayos ang ilan kong mga damit. “Your last therapy? Why? Are you okay now?” she asked worriedly. “And why are you fixing your clothes? Going on a vacation?” Napatigil ako sa ginagawa at nilingon siya. Abala siya ngayon sa cellphone. “A-Ayos na naman ako, Jess. Hindi ko na kailangan ng therapy,” Hindi ko pa pala nasabi sa kanya ang balak kong pag alis. Sigurado ako’ng hindi niya magugustuhan pero maiintindihan niya naman, just like my parents. Noong una ay hindi sila payag pero kalaunan ay napagtanto nilang para sa’kin din ito. Mom almost cried that day, they were so sad. In the past few days, I went through the necessary papers that I’ll be needing including my visa. Mahirap din sa’kin
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 78
PATRICIA’S POV I really hate goodbyes. People who left I considered as one of heartbreaking moment in someone’s life. When someone leaves your life...the pain is different. You feel like you can't be made up again but you have to trust. One of the things I've learned in life is that you always have to be prepared. Because not all the people you are used to being by your side will be with you forever. That is probably how my family feels right now. “Patricia, take care of yourself. I will miss you…” I bit my lip when I heard mommy’s trembling voice. Bumuga ako ng hangin at binitawan ang mga bagahe ko. Nilapitan ko si mommy at niyakap siya. We are here at the airport because I am leaving now. My family is complete and also my friends, Jess and Tyrone. Umabsent pa nga si Jess ngayon sa school para lang maihatid ako. “Gosh, stop crying, mom…” I caressed her back when I felt her crying. “I thought you won’t cry?” “I-I just can’t help it,” she removed from the embrace and wiping he
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 79
PATRICIA’S POV Naging mahirap sa’kin ang mga unang linggo at buwan. Ako lang mag isa, walang makausap at nag-aasikaso. I can cook so I’m the one who cooks for myself. Naging hobby ko na rin ang mag linis ng bahay kaya ibang iba na ito sa itsura noong una kong matirahan. I was currently making coffee and sitting on the high chair when I heard a few knocks on the door. I frowned when I saw Beatrice holding a box. “Beatrice? What do you need?” “I have something for you!” I let her in, she placed the box in the table. “May nakalkal lang kami roon sa bahay. Alam kong mahilig ka rito kaya sayo na lang!” My eyes lit up when she took some art materials out of the box. Different types of brushes, color paints and hard papers. “Wow, ang dami naman!” I said in amazement. “Saan ito galing?” “Kay kuya Josh ang mga yan pero no’ng mag proceed na siya sa law school, hindi na niya nagamit,” inilahad niya ito sa’kin. “You like paintings, right?” Alanganin ako’ng tumango. “Noon, Beatrice. I jus
Ruled by the Blaze ( The Unwanted Marriage ) Kabanata 80
CALLUM’S POV “You’re different now, huh. You look…in love” Napangiti ako habang umiiling. Hindi ko pinansin si Austine at nag patuloy ako sa pag pirma sa bagong project na gagawin namin. “Hindi ka pa nasanay kuya Austine,” segunda ng kapatid kong si Ramon na hindi ko alam kung bakit narito. “Simula no’ng mag buntis si Patricia, mas lalo siya’ng sumipag sa trabaho…” Kumunot ang noo ko. “Stop calling her just like that. Call her ‘ate’, Ram” saway ko sa kapatid. “What’s wrong with that?” his lips lifted. “You’re 4 years older than her and she’s 1 year older than me…” he said teasingly. “I don’t care! Tawagin mo siya’ng ate!” “Oh…” umawang ang labi niya. “You’re a jealous pet!” He and Austine laughed so I got annoyed. Maya-maya pa ay may tumawag kay Ramon kaya nag paalam na rin siya’ng aalis. Si Austine ay nanatili parin sa office ko. He’s watching me like an idiot. “Wag mo naman masyadong galingan sa trabaho, bro! I noticed these past few days you’ve been so tutok sa trabaho,”
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