When I turned, I touched his cheek and smiled. "Thank you. Don't worry about tonight. Just let go and have fun with her, and whatever happens, I'll be fine. You can give me all the details when we get home.""If you say so," he said, still not sounding convinced. After he shut the front door and locked it behind us, he asked, "You want the front seat?""No, you've got longer legs and Mom's car doesn't have much room in the back."I climbed in behind Mom and John went around to the passenger's seat. After turning on the heater to full blast, Mom rubbed her arms. "I miss summer.""Maybe we could go see the beach near Norfolk during spring break," I suggested."Oh, that would be so much fun."John got in and shut the door. "What would be?""Kate just suggested that we go to the beach near Norfolk during spring break."He grinned and winked at me. "That sounds wonderful. I forget what being warm feels like.""I'll mention it to Susan. Maybe we can all save up and get a beach house togethe
Mom came up and slipped her hand through my arm. "Let's go get this party started!"I managed to put on a happy face as we went into their large living room. But it got harder as I watched Steph introducing John to our friends, and I left Mom near the bar to go join them. When I walked up, Carol squealed and hugged me."Kate! I've missed you so much. How have you been?"She'd cut her hair since she'd moved away. Reaching up to touch her short locks, I said, "Your hair looks great! I've been fine. How's Brown?""I love it. Campus life has been so much fun. I've even met someone," she replied, holding her hand up conspicuously."Holy shit!" I cried, pulling her hand closer to examine the diamond on her ring finger. "You're getting married?" The diamond was bigger than my pinky nail."Not until after we graduate, but he said he didn't want me getting away.""Congrats!" I said, pulling her in for another hug. "Did you bring him home for the holidays?""Not this year. We agreed to have one
"You don't understand. She's got enough credits to transfer now and in the last few days she's been talking non-stop about finishing her degree at Old Dominion."I felt my mouth dry up. "Are you serious?""As a heart attack," she replied, taking another long drag before stomping out the butt. "And you know she can afford to do it.""What am I going to do?""What you should have done! Christ, Kate, just fucking tell her already. You can't let her find out some other way. It's cruel and that's not like you at all.""I don't want to spoil her night. I'll tell her tomorrow. Will you come with me?""If she finds out I knew all this time, she'll kill me. Let's go back inside. I'm freezing."After we made our way back inside, I lost Holly in the crowd while I worried about what she'd said. Another glass of champagne found its way into my hand and I looked for a place to sit and think. The music was playing again and I couldn't see John anywhere, so I sat down in an empty chair near the firep
"This is Jules! Leave me a message."Nausea made my mouth feel slick as I dropped the call before it could beep again. After the party I'd assumed the sense of foreboding I felt would go away, but if anything it had gotten worse.John looked up from reading at his end of the couch. "She still won't pick up?""No.""You've been a nervous wreck since the party. Why don't you talk to me about it? I won't try to give you advice this time, I'll just listen.""I would if I thought it'd help," I said. We'd had our first, really ugly fight the day after the party. Mom had gone to work and he kept trying to come up with ideas to fix everything. That's when it became really obvious how little we knew each other.My friendship with Steph went back years, but I'd allowed the crazy lust I'd felt for my cousin destroy it in a single evening. Holly lost her best friend, all because I'd been too scared everyone else would find out what a freak I was. Someone had to have told Jules, because she'd stop
My phone rang just as things were coming to a head. "Fuck!""Just ignore it," he said, his breath tickling me as he spoke."I can't," I groaned. "What if it's Mom coming home early?" He let me up and I went back to the couch to get my phone. I looked at the picture and said, "Holly." I pressed the button and said, "Hey.""Could I please come over and talk?" she asked. "I'm losing my mind right now.""Of course, Holly, when will you be here?" I asked loudly so John would hear."Twenty minutes?""That'll be fine.""Can we talk alone?" she asked.I looked at John. "Maybe we'll go out for coffee or something.""Sounds good, I'll see you in a bit."I hung up and slipped my panties down over my hips. "We have ten minutes."By the time Holly arrived, I was dressed and John was out running errands. She looked like hell when she came in. After leading her into the kitchen, I got to work making some coffee.While I filled the coffee pot with water, I asked, "Have you heard from Steph?""She won
Holly chuckled sadly. "She's told everyone that she caught John fucking me."I leaned back against the counter and sipped my coffee. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Holly." If she could do that to her best friend, I was doomed.Holly's eyes filled with tears. "She's my best friend. I know I always talked big about leaving her behind, but I never would have actually followed through with it."I leaned against her shoulder. "I know it's not the same, but I'll be your best friend.""I appreciate it," she said with a sad laugh. "Just watch out for Jules. I know you don't want to hear it, but she's really hurt right now."I couldn't look at her. "I never led her on.""It doesn't matter. Just imagine how you'd feel if John had fallen for Steph."We had just moved into the living room to finish our coffee when John came in. "Hey, Holly," he said as he bent down to kiss me on the cheek. "I ran out of things to do. I can hang out in Kate's room if I'm intruding.""It's fine," she said. "I need to go and g
"I want to come back and see you. I hate that I've made problems in your life, but I'm not ashamed of being selfish about this. I want to know what happens next."I took a deep breath. "I was thinking earlier about how connected I feel to you right now. It's a little scary when I think about you leaving, but at the same time, I can't imagine not feeling this way about you, not anymore."His guarded expression opened into a relieved smile. "Exactly.""I'll be graduating from Pellissippi in the spring, and Mom can't afford to send me to the University of Tennessee for my bachelors. I have to decide whether to try to finish my degree with loans or just start working somewhere. I have to decide whether to stay at home with Mom or move somewhere else." I squeezed his hand and gave him a sly grin. "But one decision I've already made is that I'd like you to be a part of my life, whatever else happens."He squeezed my hand this time, but just when he was going to say something in return, our
"I'm leaving," he said, gathering up his clothes, then began putting them on as he walked up the hallway.I got my robe from the hook on my closet and followed him out into the living room. "I can explain.""I'm sure you can, but not today. I need to go. I can't be here right now.""Promise me you'll come back," I begged as I grabbed his arm to stop him. I felt the tears in my eyes, but other than that I felt nothing. I was entirely empty.He shook off my hand as he got the last of his things packed in his duffel and backpack, then he looked at me for a long moment. I could see the pain I'd given him so clearly now, but nothing else showed. I had no idea what he was thinking."I promise," he whispered as he pulled me into his arms to kiss me with a tenderness I didn't deserve. Then he got his bags and left without looking back.I don't know how long I stood there before Mom came back out of her room and asked, "Is he gone?""Yes." I turned to face her."All the lies, Kate, all the lie