"This is Jules! Leave me a message."Nausea made my mouth feel slick as I dropped the call before it could beep again. After the party I'd assumed the sense of foreboding I felt would go away, but if anything it had gotten worse.John looked up from reading at his end of the couch. "She still won't pick up?""No.""You've been a nervous wreck since the party. Why don't you talk to me about it? I won't try to give you advice this time, I'll just listen.""I would if I thought it'd help," I said. We'd had our first, really ugly fight the day after the party. Mom had gone to work and he kept trying to come up with ideas to fix everything. That's when it became really obvious how little we knew each other.My friendship with Steph went back years, but I'd allowed the crazy lust I'd felt for my cousin destroy it in a single evening. Holly lost her best friend, all because I'd been too scared everyone else would find out what a freak I was. Someone had to have told Jules, because she'd stop
My phone rang just as things were coming to a head. "Fuck!""Just ignore it," he said, his breath tickling me as he spoke."I can't," I groaned. "What if it's Mom coming home early?" He let me up and I went back to the couch to get my phone. I looked at the picture and said, "Holly." I pressed the button and said, "Hey.""Could I please come over and talk?" she asked. "I'm losing my mind right now.""Of course, Holly, when will you be here?" I asked loudly so John would hear."Twenty minutes?""That'll be fine.""Can we talk alone?" she asked.I looked at John. "Maybe we'll go out for coffee or something.""Sounds good, I'll see you in a bit."I hung up and slipped my panties down over my hips. "We have ten minutes."By the time Holly arrived, I was dressed and John was out running errands. She looked like hell when she came in. After leading her into the kitchen, I got to work making some coffee.While I filled the coffee pot with water, I asked, "Have you heard from Steph?""She won
Holly chuckled sadly. "She's told everyone that she caught John fucking me."I leaned back against the counter and sipped my coffee. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Holly." If she could do that to her best friend, I was doomed.Holly's eyes filled with tears. "She's my best friend. I know I always talked big about leaving her behind, but I never would have actually followed through with it."I leaned against her shoulder. "I know it's not the same, but I'll be your best friend.""I appreciate it," she said with a sad laugh. "Just watch out for Jules. I know you don't want to hear it, but she's really hurt right now."I couldn't look at her. "I never led her on.""It doesn't matter. Just imagine how you'd feel if John had fallen for Steph."We had just moved into the living room to finish our coffee when John came in. "Hey, Holly," he said as he bent down to kiss me on the cheek. "I ran out of things to do. I can hang out in Kate's room if I'm intruding.""It's fine," she said. "I need to go and g
"I want to come back and see you. I hate that I've made problems in your life, but I'm not ashamed of being selfish about this. I want to know what happens next."I took a deep breath. "I was thinking earlier about how connected I feel to you right now. It's a little scary when I think about you leaving, but at the same time, I can't imagine not feeling this way about you, not anymore."His guarded expression opened into a relieved smile. "Exactly.""I'll be graduating from Pellissippi in the spring, and Mom can't afford to send me to the University of Tennessee for my bachelors. I have to decide whether to try to finish my degree with loans or just start working somewhere. I have to decide whether to stay at home with Mom or move somewhere else." I squeezed his hand and gave him a sly grin. "But one decision I've already made is that I'd like you to be a part of my life, whatever else happens."He squeezed my hand this time, but just when he was going to say something in return, our
"I'm leaving," he said, gathering up his clothes, then began putting them on as he walked up the hallway.I got my robe from the hook on my closet and followed him out into the living room. "I can explain.""I'm sure you can, but not today. I need to go. I can't be here right now.""Promise me you'll come back," I begged as I grabbed his arm to stop him. I felt the tears in my eyes, but other than that I felt nothing. I was entirely empty.He shook off my hand as he got the last of his things packed in his duffel and backpack, then he looked at me for a long moment. I could see the pain I'd given him so clearly now, but nothing else showed. I had no idea what he was thinking."I promise," he whispered as he pulled me into his arms to kiss me with a tenderness I didn't deserve. Then he got his bags and left without looking back.I don't know how long I stood there before Mom came back out of her room and asked, "Is he gone?""Yes." I turned to face her."All the lies, Kate, all the lie
"Just give me some time. I'll think of something.""Don't worry about me. I'll figure something out. I need to go.""Call me after she leaves. Please?""I'll talk to you later," I said, hanging up quickly and putting the phone back in my robe pocket.After I heated the water and made some tea, I went back to my bedroom where Jules was reading intently. I put her cup down on the nightstand and sat back at my desk, putting my foot up on the edge of the bed as I leaned back to sip my tea."You've got a way with words."I could only look at her. Her hair fell around her face and curled under her chin. Her lips were full and her breasts were larger than mine, but they fit her frame well. Sitting cross-legged, she allowed me to see that her panties had an opening in the crotch. I could see her bare slit through the hole, and realized that her lower lips were the same color as those on her face. I couldn't stop staring at them.She began to flip through the pages faster, skimming more than r
Jules just laughed and rolled over to look at me. "You don't even know who you are, VV. One week of cock and you think you know all about love? Well, I've loved you longer and better than he ever will. When you have your little vanilla wedding night fantasy, you'll remember this and wish I was there!"I couldn't say anything. Instead I covered my ears with my hands. I'd always known she loved me, but it was then I realized what I'd done. I'd kept her waiting all these years, with unspoken promises of someday, maybe, perhaps ... There were no words to repair this.Sitting up, she began putting her own clothes in order. She put on her shoes, picked up her purse and stared down at me with ice in her eyes."Please, wait," I begged. "We need to talk about this.""This?" she cried. "We could have had this for years! When you kissed me, back when we were still girls, you knew I loved you then. You joked about it, but you knew, you just didn't care. And once I realized I could never have you,
"So how did you get beat up? And don't tell me it's complicated.""Jules came over. I told her everything and we kinda fought about it." There was a word that would explain everything. A word that could give a name to what had happened, but I couldn't make myself say it. I felt guilty of it, too."So how did you cut your lip if she didn't hit you?"I didn't speak, the scenery flowing by the window seeming to have a hypnotic effect on me. I was so tired I think I fell asleep with my eyes open. But then my mouth chose that moment to speak for me. "It got cut when she kissed me."Holly didn't say anything after that, so I shut my eyes and rested my head against the glass. The next thing I knew, she was helping me out of the car. I managed to make it to her couch before I collapsed.She put my suitcase and bag next to the door. "Go to sleep. You're safe now."I don't know how long I'd slept when I heard my phone ring. I was vaguely aware of Holly pulling it out of my back pocket. I dreame