"I want to come back and see you. I hate that I've made problems in your life, but I'm not ashamed of being selfish about this. I want to know what happens next."I took a deep breath. "I was thinking earlier about how connected I feel to you right now. It's a little scary when I think about you leaving, but at the same time, I can't imagine not feeling this way about you, not anymore."His guarded expression opened into a relieved smile. "Exactly.""I'll be graduating from Pellissippi in the spring, and Mom can't afford to send me to the University of Tennessee for my bachelors. I have to decide whether to try to finish my degree with loans or just start working somewhere. I have to decide whether to stay at home with Mom or move somewhere else." I squeezed his hand and gave him a sly grin. "But one decision I've already made is that I'd like you to be a part of my life, whatever else happens."He squeezed my hand this time, but just when he was going to say something in return, our
"I'm leaving," he said, gathering up his clothes, then began putting them on as he walked up the hallway.I got my robe from the hook on my closet and followed him out into the living room. "I can explain.""I'm sure you can, but not today. I need to go. I can't be here right now.""Promise me you'll come back," I begged as I grabbed his arm to stop him. I felt the tears in my eyes, but other than that I felt nothing. I was entirely empty.He shook off my hand as he got the last of his things packed in his duffel and backpack, then he looked at me for a long moment. I could see the pain I'd given him so clearly now, but nothing else showed. I had no idea what he was thinking."I promise," he whispered as he pulled me into his arms to kiss me with a tenderness I didn't deserve. Then he got his bags and left without looking back.I don't know how long I stood there before Mom came back out of her room and asked, "Is he gone?""Yes." I turned to face her."All the lies, Kate, all the lie
"Just give me some time. I'll think of something.""Don't worry about me. I'll figure something out. I need to go.""Call me after she leaves. Please?""I'll talk to you later," I said, hanging up quickly and putting the phone back in my robe pocket.After I heated the water and made some tea, I went back to my bedroom where Jules was reading intently. I put her cup down on the nightstand and sat back at my desk, putting my foot up on the edge of the bed as I leaned back to sip my tea."You've got a way with words."I could only look at her. Her hair fell around her face and curled under her chin. Her lips were full and her breasts were larger than mine, but they fit her frame well. Sitting cross-legged, she allowed me to see that her panties had an opening in the crotch. I could see her bare slit through the hole, and realized that her lower lips were the same color as those on her face. I couldn't stop staring at them.She began to flip through the pages faster, skimming more than r
Jules just laughed and rolled over to look at me. "You don't even know who you are, VV. One week of cock and you think you know all about love? Well, I've loved you longer and better than he ever will. When you have your little vanilla wedding night fantasy, you'll remember this and wish I was there!"I couldn't say anything. Instead I covered my ears with my hands. I'd always known she loved me, but it was then I realized what I'd done. I'd kept her waiting all these years, with unspoken promises of someday, maybe, perhaps ... There were no words to repair this.Sitting up, she began putting her own clothes in order. She put on her shoes, picked up her purse and stared down at me with ice in her eyes."Please, wait," I begged. "We need to talk about this.""This?" she cried. "We could have had this for years! When you kissed me, back when we were still girls, you knew I loved you then. You joked about it, but you knew, you just didn't care. And once I realized I could never have you,
"So how did you get beat up? And don't tell me it's complicated.""Jules came over. I told her everything and we kinda fought about it." There was a word that would explain everything. A word that could give a name to what had happened, but I couldn't make myself say it. I felt guilty of it, too."So how did you cut your lip if she didn't hit you?"I didn't speak, the scenery flowing by the window seeming to have a hypnotic effect on me. I was so tired I think I fell asleep with my eyes open. But then my mouth chose that moment to speak for me. "It got cut when she kissed me."Holly didn't say anything after that, so I shut my eyes and rested my head against the glass. The next thing I knew, she was helping me out of the car. I managed to make it to her couch before I collapsed.She put my suitcase and bag next to the door. "Go to sleep. You're safe now."I don't know how long I'd slept when I heard my phone ring. I was vaguely aware of Holly pulling it out of my back pocket. I dreame
Taking the bus to Denny's gave me too much time to think, but Holly had refused to help me at all. Sitting on the bus, I kept seeing visions of my blood on Jules' lips, but it wasn't her mouth I saw, it was the torn fabric of her panties and her delicate inner lips that I'd tasted in my madness. I could no longer deny that a part of me wanted exactly what we'd shared, and it was that desire that tormented me. I forced myself to focus on John and my promises to him.Jules was already seated when I'd gotten to Denny's. After sliding into the booth across from her, I glanced up at her face. She looked like she hadn't slept any better than I had. Her hair was tousled and she was wearing a rumpled black sweater.When the waitress came around, I ordered a coffee while Jules just stared at me, her face unreadable. I refused to speak, until finally she said, "I didn't know if you'd come.""We need to talk," I shrugged. "I'm here."When I took a sip of coffee, she noticed me wince when it touc
There was a faint buzzing in my ears and my mouth suddenly felt slick, like I was about to be sick. I knew her inside and out, there was no way she was bluffing. "You're serious.""Yes, I am. I can't stand by and watch what I know is going to happen," she replied, taking out her wallet and putting some money on the table. Before she walked away, she bent down and kissed me tenderly. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her back, but it felt like everyone was staring at us. Touching my face, she whispered, "Come today or not at all."All the way back to Holly's apartment, I sat on the bus and stared out the window. My mind bounced back and forth--my best friend, my boyfriend, her lips, and his eyes. The scale was balanced, but as my heart went one way and the other, the world shifted under my feet.When I got back to Holly's apartment, she was sitting on the couch watching a game show. She looked up at me and frowned. "You're going to her, aren't you?"I didn't acknowledge the question
After hanging my clothes and putting my shoes on her shoe rack, she stored my suitcase in the back of her closet. When she came out, I saw her robe had fallen open. The curves of her breasts, her smooth stomach, and her bare mons filled me with an unfamiliar longing, and I had to look away.We'd spent plenty of time together throughout the years in various states of undress. We'd done everything from trying on clothes together in stores, to putting on our bathing suits together in her room, to doing each other's toenails in nothing but towels. I knew what she looked like from the soles of her feet to the top of her head. And even though she was the same person, I saw her differently. We'd kissed with my blood on our lips. I'd tasted her.The air moved against my face when she drew closer, pushing her sweet scent along with it. She was almost as tall as John, I thought, the same moment she put her arms around me and drew my face against her chest. My hands slipped inside her robe and r