It's funny how fast time passes. And everytime a day is over, it feels like the distance between Toma and I grows bigger and bigger. He's slowly drifting away from me… "maybe I shouldn't have told him to avoid me that time."
"Who are you talking about?" Xia interfered with my thoughts.
That made me realize that I was talking out loud unconsciously. "Ah, nothing. Don't mind me."
"Uh-huh, right." She gave me a look of disbelief. "Something's bothering you, you can't even focus on your part of the research right now."
Looking at the screen of my laptop, it was still an empty draft. I really am distracted by these annoying thoughts.
"Ugh, I guess I need to take a rest first."
"Okay, just don't forget we have to pass this next week." She told me.
"Yeah I'll be taking my leave now." When I was about to put my things in my bag, Xia suddenly mentioned something that blew my mind.
"Oh! Have you heard?…"
"Of what?"
"Your friend Toma got a girlfriend, I saw him yesterday with the girl. They looked good together."
He got a… girlfriend?
"W-When!? How come I haven't heard of this?" I asked.
Then Xia had a face of realization and pity on me. "Oh my, then Toma might didn't want to inform you about this…" She spat her conclusion. Although I badly want to deny it, her guess makes sense.
"Y-Yeah." Toma doesn't want me to know this… I pushed him away after all. But why is it like this?
I don't get it…
"Yuji, I'm sorry but maybe it's not like that-"
I just wanted to be without him for a while…
"I'll finish my part tomorrow, see you."
But why does it slowly feels like he's changing…
"Yuji, wait!"
Toma getting a girlfriend… without my help? Wasn't I supposed to be his wingman?
I ran away all the way back to the dorm, barging inside my room to rest myself. "Ha… it's stupid… I'm stupid. I was the one who wanted this but… why do I regret it like this?"
Like I've said, time pass by so fast. I didn't knew the sky were already dark, and I didn't noticed that Toma was already changing his clothes in this room. "Oh, you're already here."
"Mhm, yeah." He awkward greeted.
Then I couldn't help myself but ask. "I heard you got a girlfriend. Is that true?"
He looks at me with a shocked face but it eventually changes, showing me a genuine smile. "Yeah, I do. I started dating Cami a week ago."
"R-Really? That's great, you always liked her. Congrats." It's kind of weird how they started dating though. Did Cami broke up with Duke, and dated Toma soon after?
"Thanks." Either way, I'm kind of happy for Toma he got what he dreamed for.
Still…
"That surprised me, I thought you wouldn't care if I started going out with Cami hahaha!"
'No… don't think that…'
"What are you saying, you're the one who surprised me. To hear you suddenly dating Cami, I thought you'll want my help on that." I said.
'Didn't you said I'm gonna be your wingman?'
"Ahh… about that, I had Noru help me with that-"
'What?'
"-and I didn't want to bother you since you looked busy these days."
And there it felt like Toma is really kicking me out of his life.
'Haa, I really feel stupid.'
It wasn't so long when I began to realize what my life would be without my bestfriend Toma. He was always the sociable guy while I was just someone who tagged along. I wasn't so friendly with the other guys he always used to hang out with other than me.So whenever lunch time arrives, I always find myself sitting alone at the cafeteria. Then I often see Toma with his other friends with him, as well as his girlfriend Cami."Never knew it would be like this." I muttered to myself, sometimes wishing I never suggested to avoid one another."…hey."I looked at the person by my side and saw Xia. "Oh it's you.""Yeah, got a room to spare here?" She asked with a cheeky smile."There's plenty of room as you can see, so be my guest." I told her, with a bit of sarcastic tone."Hahaha, sure." She sat right next to me. Ugh, of all places, this girl is really annoying.
"I'm Noru, a friend of Toma.""Oh…" so this was the guy who helped Toma with Cami. "I believe we met before. I always saw you with him when we were freshmen.""Ah yeah, I'm a friend of Toma and as well as a childhood friend." I told him.He smirks as he pass by, "It doesn't seem like it anymore."…jerk.After that, I left the restro0m and continued my day without a hassle. Though it quite bothered my mind about the guy from the restroom and Xia confessing to me. I'm getting mixed emotions by thinking about it.The next day wasn't so easy, when I saw Xia. It was awkward like I expected. "Uhm, hey." I kind of… greeted."Y-Yeah." She couldn't even make eye-contact with me.I attempted to find another seat but everything in the room was taken, so I had no other choice but to sit next to her. When I take a glance at her, I noticed how stiff she is.
"EHH!?" It looked like she can't believe what I've just said. "What did you just say to me?!""I asked if you want to go out with-""Are you for real!?" She still doubts if I'm serious about this."Well, yeah! So are you going to say 'yes' or-""Don't play with other people's feelings. I like you but I won't allow you to ever do what you're trying to do.""No, I'm really serious about this-""And don't ever think I'll let you get away with this-""Can't you quit cutting me off!? Seriously, I'm serious about this. So do you want to date me or not?" I planned to be nice and kind as possible, but with Xia, it's just impossible to do so.She stood frozen, observing me to see if I'm lying or not. "Really?""Yes, so what's your answer?" I demanded.She pouts and glares at, though she smiles and reached out her hand to me.
From: Xia『 See you later :D 』After reading the text I received from Xia, I felt a bit nervous since this feels like my first time on a date. The last time I dated someone when I was a senior highschool student. It feels such a long time since then."Ugh, act cool Yuji." I told myself while waiting for Xia.And it's not like I should be nervous for anything today, I'll just be going on a date with Xia. Shouldn't that be a fun thing?"…Yuji?" A familiar voice spoke.Then there I saw Hino, along with Toma, Noru and the rest of their friends. It was nostalgic seeing them altogether, but I realized that I was never a part of their circle because I was always just considered as someone who only tagged along with Toma."Oh, hey." I greeted. Some of them asked how I've been, and why I haven't been hanging out with them lately. Then my bestfriend who was being quiet began
We had our lunch at a fine restaurant in the mall we were at. The conversations were merely interesting and I was making a way for a question I had to ask.Though I thought Xia would pipe down her chitchat when we're in a relationship now, but it was otherwise. She remained the annoying girl I used to hate. "And there was this one time I caught my friend stalking this girl, hahaha!"Her stories never ends."Xia…""There was a weird rumor about the girl she was looking up though.""Uhm Xia.""They said the girl had a twin brother that died, but others said that the girl used to be a guy and became a transwoman.""…" it was impossible! She just won't listen!And the talk goes on and on, and on. I thought I'll remain a listener throughout the whole conversation but then she gave me a way to speak. "So, what about you? You've been awfully silent." She l
I've thought of possible results before confessing my reason why I dated Xia. And I also thought by the time I said it, Xia would reject me for being such a huge jerk. But I was quite surprise how Xia responded."I thought so…" she answered with a smile, but sadness can be seen on her eyes."So, do you still wanna date me?" I grinned waiting for my expectation to be meet."Yes." My face became blank as soon as she said that. "I already got the chance I wanted, so I won't let it slip by so easily.""Why so eager?" I softly asked, almost a whisper."Because, I really like you-" she points at me, showing an expression that's so eager. "-and I'll make sure to make you fall inlove with me too."What a strong-willed woman.I chuckled. "We'll see about that."Then the rest of my day was spent well with my girlfriend, Xia. After all that, coming back to my
I was typing down all the necessary information for my research after class was finished, the whole classroom was already empty then Xia came in with something in her hands."So uh, the prof said you have to bring this to the storage room h-hehe." Xia handed me a box of blank papers. I stared at her with doubt."Can't you do this yourself? It doesn't even look heavy.""But Yujiii! Come on, help your girlfriend out." She yelled crying."I'm busy with our research.""Huuu… please?" Then she pulled out her puppy eyes on me, it only led me to look at her with disgust. "Ugh, what is wrong with you?""Tsk, you're so hard to charm.""Because you're charmless." I laughed."Whaaaat!?" She looked at me with disbelief. "For your information, most people called me a cutie. I had a lot of people that liked me and those that I turned down as well. You should feel
Ugh, just when I was trying to finish the research. Toma just looked at me with a friendly face. "Why didn't you do anything to get out of here?" I asked."Oh, I actually did. I yelled for help, tried to make a lot of noise, and even put a note underneath the door so someone can help me… but none of those works." So the stupid note earlier was his doing.I sighed feeling helpless. "Tsk, what to do, what to do…" then I suddenly thought of my phone. I searched it in my pocket, only to realize that I left it back at the classroom. Damn it."Toma!""!… yeah?" He spoke while maintaining that smile of his. Ugh, his face right now looks annoying."Do you got your phone with you?""Ahh… I've thought about that too but uhm, I left it with Cami.""What!?""Yeah, she asked to look at it. She's checking out the pictures we've taken together.""
By the time the man finally left, mom even gave me loads of money so I could stay away from her. It was then I decided to cut ties with her. I was done dealing with her… "It was a mistake to stay here. I'm leaving." I never should've come back. "W-Wait!" Before mom could stop me, I quickly got to my room and brought all my stuff with me. "Toma, please! Please hear me out!" "…IT'S TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY! Don't even think that I'll ever forgive you." I told her while I was running down the stairs. She just kept pulling my stuff to make it more difficult to leave. "No, Toma! I can't—" "Don't stop me!" I glared at her, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again."
Nobody ever knows about it.I kept that very dark secret of mine all to myself. I can't even bother myself to tell my mom about what happened to me, I know she won't give a shit about it. And so, everything that I ever experienced from that man was written down on a journal. That was the only way I could vent all the stress and anger I had.While she was still on a relationship with that man, I would always hide from him so he won't be able to lay a finger on me. But there were times that he would sneak in my room just to make me suffer for his disgusting pleasure. He would often leave with a threat so I wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.I was really scared… no one was ever there for me. But instead of letting myself suffer even more, I try to make myself distracted when I'm out of the house.Y
We moved into a new neighborhood when I was at the age of eight. That's when I met Yuji, the guy who became my best friend… the guy who I came to like. And the one who I fell for.He became the person who I would run to whenever I'm at my worst. Yuji would always welcome me at his house, both his parents treating me like I was a part of their family. I really loved his company, it lets me feel all the things I lacked on my own family."Tomakawa, don't your parents worry if you spend the night here without telling them?" Auntie asked.I shook my head and gave my brightest smile. "They won't. Mommy said it's okay if it's at my best friend's house." It was a lie, and I was not guilty one bit. I don't really want to go home that night."Hmm, alright then."A
When I was about five years old, I can remember how my parents would argue all the time. It eventually led to physical violence, and sometimes I get hurt as well. It was really scary for a child to experience something like that from his own parents.If I remember well, the one who's most at fault for all the arguments was mom. Dad would always come home late and drunk, then mom will start to complain. They argue, fight, and mess up the house."Stop telling me what to do, woman!""I told you a million times already, haven't I?! Stop getting yourself drunk whenever you go home!""Shut up and lock yourself in a room. Seeing your face ruins my mood!""Why, you!… you should be the one locking yourself in a room! You're a wretched mess!"&nb
Since I was kicked out of school, the only place I can stay at was at my mother's house. It sickens me to go back there but I have no other choice. "Hm. And what do you think you're doing here?" Mom asked. Just when I arrived, I didn't expect to see her outside the house to water the plants. Usually, she fools with every man she brings home most of the time. "I'll be here for a few days, I'll leave as soon as I find another place to stay at." "Heh, I heard you were kicked out of school." "None of your business." I just ignored her comments and got inside the house. Seeing this place only reminded me of the past I always wished to forget. Every room, every corner… it was all too disturbing for me. After opening the lock on my room, it was just like how
That was it.Everything is over.I no longer have anything to do with him. When I got back from the hospital, I learned that Yuji's father had storm at my place and took all of Yuji's belonging. They said he'll transfer his son onto another school because of me, though he had never mentioned to the faculty the reasons. But rumors seem to have already spread because of Yuu."How disgusting! The school should expel him.""Is it really that guy?!""I heard he was sexually assaulting his roommate, that's why the father of the victim took away his son.""That fag is a scum!"Many people kept whispering behind my back as I walk on the hallways. I couldn't care less about what they s
As the sun rises, Toma immediately went to the hospital for Yuji. He hopes to see him conscious when he arrives, though it was unfortunate that he found Yuji still sleeping. He also discovered something worse, his worries on Yuji has double.Toma quickly calls for help and as the doctor arrived, things were explained to him. "…we have seen this through our observation on the patient last night. These tiny red spots you see on his skin is called petechiea. It's a symptom for many diseases. We're currently testing from which disease it comes from.""How come I was not told about this!? I—" the doctor cuts him off before he could throw a fit."We have already informed his father sir. We thought you must have been informed through him."Toma was stunned to know that Yuji's father didn't told hi
"…Yuji." Toma muttered while he was sitting on a chair near Yuji's bed. When Yuji was admitted to the hospital, he stayed beside him the whole time after he settled things with Yuu at the police station. He also informed Yuji's dad about the situation because he needed extra hands on this.Toma can't keep his eyes off Yuji's broken hands. It pains him to see that it was wrapped in thick bandages because the doctor told him that every bone in his hands were broken into bits. This would mean that Yuji won't be able to use his hands anymore, he can imagine how devastated Yuji will be when he finds out about his hand.'That damn Yuu. I'll get him for this.' He suddenly wished he beaten up Yuu just as bad as how Yuji was beaten—no, he wanted to double the pain, because aside from Yuji he was also hurt to see the one he love like this.Th
Toma was greatly bothered when Yuji got to the campus earlier than him. It made him doubt that Yuji might have been troubled by something, and it annoyed the hell out of him that he can't figure what it was."Haa. I lost interest attending first class." He muttered.And so he spent most of his time laying on his bed, reminiscing about the cheerful times he had with Yuji. Now that Yuji's gone to school, he never felt this lonely before. He tries to find comfort in every memory he shared with Yuji.When he got bored of it, he decided to have lunch at his favorite restaurant. But on his way there, he encountered a familiar face, though he wasn't noticed by this other fellow. It was Yuu. One of his acquaintances, though he was mostly ignored by Yuu because he seemed more interested in Yuji."Wait…" b