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Sinking Down, Part I
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2024-10-29 19:42:56"I guess I'll have to stay here until I recover." I told Toma.
For some unknown reason, I got a high fever and had to stay home for today. "Yeah, just rest for today. I left your lunch on the table, just heat it in the microwave later."
"Okay. Make sure to listen in class and take notes for me." Though I doubt he'll do a good job on that. Toma has always been a terrible student, I was always there to help him with school work.
"Hnnng, I'll do anything for you even if I can't stand boring stuff."
"Great, have a good day!" I waved goodbye at him. And once he was out of the room, I felt a bit anxious with him out of sight. Maybe I'm scared of getting seperated from him just like he feels. I really have grown attach to him, huh?
A smile crossed my face as I remember the first ti
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"Hmmm…" I tried to focus my attention on the discussion. But no matter what I do, my mind keeps wandering off. This won't do, I wanted to impress Yuji with the notes I'll take down for him. I sighed and gone with plan B. I carefully opened my phone and just let it record the discussion.I'll just let Yuji listen to this.Then as I expected of myself, I got easily distracted and had myself staring out the classroom's window. The sky is really blue today, this reminds me of that time when I was a kid. Yuji and I really played a lot during our childhood.It was really awesome to remember that I already spent my time by his side before. I got to see and remember how cute he was back then too! Ahh, such good memories.Though I never knew things will turn out like this for the two of us. Yuji used to b
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Maybe I hadn't notice, but I think I already had feelings for Toma back then. He already became so special because we've been friends for so long. Though I didn't want to admit it, falling for a guy was a weird thing for me because I was always taught by my parents that every guy is meant to be with a girl.But now that Toma is mine, I don't care what they say anymore. I just wanna be with the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. "Ugh…" I suddenly felt uneasy with the headache I just had, my fever wasn't going down too even if I already had taken some medicine earlier.Lunch time was already over and I still haven't eaten. All I could do was to keep laying down since I lost my appetite, and then bear the damn headache I get repeatedly. It was very annoying. I couldn't sleep properly either, so all I have left to do was nothing.I hate getting r
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I immediately went back at the dorm so that I can check on Yuji. And when I got there, he was still laying on my bed. I felt a bit relieved when I saw he ate the food I made him.I quickly rushed to touch his forehead so I can check on his temperature. And fortunately, he was already doing good. "Phew, thank goodness his fever went down." I was really worried this morning, he was unusually hot... well he was always hot to me, but his fever is really something else this morning."Mmm, Toma?" Yuji woke up and stared at me with his sleepy eyes."Ah. I'm sorry I woke you up, you should go sleep more.""...m'kay." He closes his eyes again."I'll be leaving for a bit, I'm just going to buy us dinner." I told him, but he grabbed on my arm tightly. It's like he didn't
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As Toma left, I felt an immeasurable amount of disappointment. Why did he left just like that? Won't he be start acting like a perv whenever he sees me naked? I settled down at his bed and thought hard about his actions. Why would he leave so suddenly? Is it because he don't want to see me anymore? Did he realize that he doesn't actually love me? Did he hate me now for the rude things I've done to him? "Aw shit." I feel like crying when I think about it. I'm not usually this emotional, maybe it's the fever working on it but still… why the heck did he just leave me!? Hours passed by and I couldn't sleep a wink. I haven't even eaten the food he bought. My mind just kept going on and on about Toma. I wanted to call him over the phone though I doubt he'll answer. My fever also went down while I was tirelessly thinking of him, I decided to go f
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"Toma, do you want to break up with me?" This was too sudden, I think I'm not prepared if he does say he wants to but the earlier the better. I'll recover as soon as I get this over with.His eyes just widens from surprise. He takes my hands and looked at me seriously. "W-What?! I would never! What made you think I want to break up with you?""I-It's just that lately I've been the worst to you, right?""Yuji…""I know I'm making you sad by keeping this relationship a secret… and it's just as hard for me to keep acting like this too. You must hate me for being like this—""Quit that non-sense!" He pulled me closer and kissed me. "I don't care about that at all. All that matters to me is that you're mine."
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I opened my eyes to find myself burried in Toma's chest. It was already morning and I was a bit worried that he's going to be late for the first class. "Hey, aren't you going to attend class?""Not when you're sick, I got to take better care of my boyfriend, you know?""I'll be in your care then." I said, smiling.He just laughs nervously and blushed hard. "Yeah, and uhm, about last night. I just want to make things clear, I meant all of what I said. Are you not bothered by it?"I chuckled and had to admit something myself. "You know given my circumstances, I'm quite the same. I always see you in a different way before though I always tell myself that you're just a friend. But the feelings were undeniable whenever those girls approach you, I think I'm a jealous type."
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It took a couple of days after i recovered from the fever. Fortunately, I was able to catch up to the classes I missed and it was all thanks to Toma's efforts in taking notes and in teaching me too. "Ahh~ I really missed walking outdoors with you." He said while we were on our way to our first class."So do I." I said, smiling."Wanna hangout somewhere after classes?" Toma asked.I raised an eyebrow at him. "No. We got to study, we're almost done for the last semester. We should get serious on this for a better future."He giggles and teased me. "Look at you, so concerned about your future.""Yeah, we really should be. Don't you want your future to be secured?""Hmm, good point. I'll think more about that." He said.
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Since Toma had something to do with his other friends, I was left alone to go home. It felt nice being by myself once in a while and I get to sort my thoughts in a more focused manner. I went to the mall to buy some stuff out of boredom before going home.And everytime my eyes see a couple passing by, it would remind me of my thoughts of earlier. Will things be better between us if I was the other gender? I'm still not entirely comfortable with my secret relationship with Toma. I was still very unsure of a lot things, but the only important thing I know right now is that I love him.While I look through some books in the novel section there was this unexpected person who approached me. "Hey! It's nice to see you again, Yuji." Yuu smiled very brightly."Ah, hey. Nice to see you too." I casually replied.
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