1 - Loved and Abandoned

~Livie~

A horde of ‘tweens almost trample me. Yup. Shit just got real.  

The situation is more terrifying than when my mom took me to the opening night of the final Twilight movie. I thought those little bitches were scary. They didn’t hold a candle to this crowd. There is nobody to blame but myself. I am that desperate to confront my ex, the lead singer of Pieces of Abel. 

Why here and now? What am I thinking? Rock It Out is Oklahoma’s largest rock festival of the year. Sucks when I’m the cause of my misery. If I could kick my own ass, I would. Cursing under my breath, I fight my way through a mob of women showing way too much skin, muscled security, and guys in outfits so bizarre I worry about their mental health. 

I swear the Marilyn Manson phase died a silent death. This crowd proves my theory wrong. Just like I am mistaken about the mullet being out of style. Seriously, I lost count of the number of mullet heads about five minutes ago. A pair of squealing women stumble by me, one of them spilling their fruity beverage on my arm. Now the stench of pineapples soaked in vodka clings to me like cheap dollar store perfume. Fuck!

My anxiety rises to epic proportions as I approach Abel’s tour bus. I don’t know what kind of greeting to expect since our last conversation ended in an epic screaming match. No joke. The guy has a set of lungs on him, hardcore rocker type lungs. Knowing him, he will order his security detail to haul my ass away rather than deal with me. I pace the empty bus like a caged animal.

The door opens. I panic before turning around. A dark-haired guy barges his way up the steps with the grace of an ox. He throws me an annoyed look. 

“Who the hell let you on the bus?”  

His gruff, woodsy voice has me picturing him dressed in plaid and swinging an ax. With that voice and sexy stubble covering his face, he would fit in an Old Spice commercial.  

“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” His words are nicer than his tone.

“I…Um.” Silly me. I am unprepared for an encounter with Abel’s bandmates. I blink and he transforms from fully dressed to damn near naked. Crap! See what happens when my brain decides to take a coffee break? Little rivers of sweat roll down his bare, ripped chest. Tight jeans hang low on his hips, his feet bare of the boots he’d worn only seconds ago. The harder I try not to stare, the more my eyes refuse to budge from the glorious man-buffet. 

“Are you going to answer at some point or start stuffing twenty dollar bills down my pants?” He uses his balled up shirt to wipe his face. “I’m not complaining or anything. I promise the show gets better.” His hands move to his belt buckle. 

I grit my teeth, realizing this was all a huge mistake. Why didn’t I wait outside for Abel? Duh! 

Behind me, someone lets out a low whistle. 

“Fucking beautiful. I swear Oklahoma has the prettiest girls. Can I persuade you to join me in the shower?”  

I ball my fists, resisting my desire to turn around. “Excuse me? You don’t even know what I look like and you’re propositioning me? How do you know I’m not covered in warts?” 

“Sweetness, based on the expression on Gabe’s face, I’m betting the front view compliments the rear.” He chuckles.

I whip around to confront the rude guy. Instead, I am shocked at the sight of the tattooed rock god standing there.  

A small smile curves his pierced lip. “Hello, sweetness. Who let you on the bus?” 

“That’s what I fucking asked her.” Gabe grumbles.

“Never mind that caveman.” The rock god extends his hand towards me. “I’m Raze.” 

“As in short for Crazy?” Instead of taking his hand, I fold my arms across my chest.  

“Sure. If that’s what does it for you.” He winks, pulling his hand back. “Ball-busting girls do it for me so I’m in heaven, babe. Be all the rude you can be.” 

“Sorry. I’m not usually this rude or abrasive.” To stop myself from apologizing for other faults, I run a hand through my tangled mess of hair.

“Yeah? Could have fooled me.” A new voice slices through the rising awkwardness.

At the sound of his voice, my defenses shatter. “Abel?” I shove pass Raze and come face to face with the one guy I have been avoiding for the past two years. He stares at me, letting the silence eat up the space between us. Something tells me if I wait for him to break the quiet first, I’ll be waiting a long time.  

Someone clears his throat. “Good thing this is in no way weird or uncomfortable.” 

“Shut the hell up, Raze.” Abel grabs my hand and drags me towards the back of the bus.  

“What are you doing?” When I tug against his hold, his grip tightens. “Abel?” 

“We’re going to talk. In private.” He mutters.

“Oh.” I wish he didn’t sound so pissed. My shoulders slump.  

“Talk? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Gabe smirks as we brush pass him.  

I spare a second to glare at him. His smile deepens. Jerk. But I have bigger problems at the moment. Abel stops moving and I slam into his back. He opens a door and shoves me inside a bedroom. 

“Hey! No pushing!” The back of my knees brush against the edge of the bed. The room is tiny. With Abel scowling at me, the room shrinks even more. My heart hammers wildly inside my chest. I remind myself to breathe.  

Being so close to him unlocks every emotion and memory I’ve kept hidden. Like a starving woman, my greedy eyes rake over him. I ogle each work of ink my eyes can find. His tight jeans wrap around lean legs. Even the simple black tee-shirt molds to his every muscle. Yet all the muscles and piercings don’t hold a candle to the sky-blue of his eyes or the soft curve of his lips. Sure, he rocks an edgier look now, but I only see the Abel I fell in love with. Loved and abandoned.

“What are you doing here, Olivia?” He growls at me. 

He never uses my whole name. “I miss you.” The honest declaration spills from my lips before I can stop it. 

He lets out a barking laugh which matches the harsh expression on his face. “That’s all you have to say? Two years. It’s been two fucking years.”  

I flinch under the weight of his hostility. He hates me. Guess I deserve that to some extent. Still, I’m not about to let him shove another stake through my heart. I didn’t single-handedly destroy our relationship. He did wrong. Big time. 

Get your shit together, Livie. The past belongs in the past. I stand a little taller, mustering whatever self-respect I can.