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CHAPTER 6
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Ryan
Two weeks have passed since I carried Ana's unconscious body into the cabin. Ever since she mentioned the helicopter crash, I've been spending all the daylight hours out looking for it under the guise of hunting or fishing. I take the key to the cabin and the key to my desk drawer with me. There are things in that drawer that I'd rather no one saw, myself included.
As I head out on my ATV for the fourth day in a row, I again try to figure out which direction she came from. My last three days of searching turned up nothing. She was in pretty bad shape when I found her, but I have no idea how mobile and healthy she was right after the crash. How far could she have walked in the snow, in these temperatures, in the clothing she was wearing?
Sometimes I wish I still had access to the internet to answer obscure questions such as these, but otherwise I don't miss the internet much at all. When I moved up here, the equipment and services required to establish an inter
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TayjaThe next morning after breakfast, Ryan asks me to come outside with him. I frown as I remember my last experience leaving the cabin. I haven't gone outside since that day almost a week ago and I don't plan on doing so again in the foreseeable future."Just for a minute. I want to show you how to use the rifle.""Why?" I ask, moving closer to the door. If this makes him more likely to let me keep the gun with me, it's definitely worth it."I'm going to let you hold onto it today.""What about the bears?" I ask, remember his earlier reason for taking the gun with him."I'll be fine," he says, leading me to the edge of the porch. "This is a Mosin Nagant. It's Russian. They were designed over a century ago and were used by the Russian military through World War II. They are very reliable."He shows me how to load the gun, how to use the safety, and how to fire it. He makes me repeat everything he did, then he produces two earplugs from a p
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 8
RyanAfter breakfast, I stand outside in the spot where the reception on my sat phone is the best, holding Ana's list in my hand. I've been dreading this call even more than I usually dread calling Joe. Just as I'm about to dial his number, I hear the sound of a helicopter approaching. I duck behind the cabin as the chopper flies over, heading in the direction of the crash.Despite my resolution not to leave Ana alone in the cabin again, I went back to the crash site again yesterday morning to see if there was anything I missed or anything she left behind. But as I was driving up, I heard noises indicating human activity. I killed the engine in my ATV and crept up to the site as quietly as someone with a crippling limp can. The crash had been discovered. Police officers, US Marshals, Mountain Rescue, and even news station employees were swarming all over. I quietly returned to my ATV and drove home as fast as I could.I punch Joe's number in and call.
Risks Of Loving You (CHAPTER 9)
TayjaI wake to hear a helicopter hovering above the cabin. Terrified that I've been found, I jump off the bed and hide in the first spot I can think of: under the bed. In retrospect, this definitely wasn't a very original hiding spot nor was it a particularly good spot to wedge myself, as it had very limited egress options. Never underestimate the idiocy of blind panic.After a few terrifying moments, the whirring of the helicopter grows louder, then the sound becomes more distant as it flies away. I remain huddled under the bed until I hear a knock on the door."Ana?"I'm still unused to hearing that name. Ever since my little sister started talking, everyone's been calling me Tayja. That's what she said when she tried to pronounce Anastasia. It sort of stuck. I'd been spelling it Tasia at first, but soon discovered I could use the more exotic letters y and j to achieve the same pronunciation with a sp
Risks Of Loving You (CHAPTER 10)
Ryan"You what?" Ana breathes. Her eyes are saucers.I hadn't planned to tell her about the scene I found in the woods, but I also couldn't come up with an explanation for the firearms that would satisfy her."It was last week. I found a helicopter about fifteen miles from here. I think it's the one you came from. You had a bump on your head when I found you. Somehow you escaped the crash with just that injury and made it here."Telling Ana this bold-faced lie is much harder than I would have expected it to be. I hate deceiving her. She deserves the truth. But if I've learned anything about Ana over the last three weeks, it's that she can't handle this truth. It's a blessing she doesn't remember the incident on her own."Why did it crash?" she asks."It's hard to tell. The news said it was probably bad weather." Another blatant lie.Ana's face goes from pale to white
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 11
TayjaI open my eyes the next morning to find my pillow wet with tears. I dreamed of Johnston's final moments as he died protecting me. For some reason, we were back in my living room, where this whole nightmare started in the first place. He was trying to defend me from my family's murderers. I was back in my hiding place where I'd been when my whole family died. Just like with my family, all I could do was watch as yet another important person in my life died in front of me. I didn't know Johnston for very long, but he'd been like a surrogate father to me after I'd lost my own.I remember the Glock Ryan gave me yesterday. It reminded me of the weapon I'd seen Johnston carry and use. The sight of the pistol reminded me of him and of feeling safe, that there was someone always looking out for me. My hand itches to hold it again.I hear the water in the bathroom turn on. Ryan must be taking a shower. Ryan Burke. The son of the famous Burke
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 12
RyanAna frowns when her first shot doesn't hit the intended target, a piece of the crate delivered yesterday propped up against a tree fifty yards away from the ATV. She takes aim and fires again. This time she nicks the corner. Still frowning in concentration, she continues shooting without a word until she needs to reload."Any more advice?" she asks as she prepares to fire again."Don't pull on the trigger, squeeze it," I say. "If you jerk on the trigger instead of using smooth movements, you'll move the barrel to the right and your shot will go wide.""Huh," she grunts. Her next shot is slower but closer to the center of the target. She narrows her eyes at it, appraising it. "Hmm," she hums in the back of her throat, sounding thoughtful. She lines up the shot again and continues firing until she needs to reload again.She's not bad. She's not excellent, but she's not bad. Maybe I'll take her hunti
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 13
RyanWhen she emerges from the bedroom the next morning, I'm wearing the mask again. I'm going to pretend like nothing happened last night and hope she doesn't mention it. We didn't talk about her nightmares. Maybe she won't mention what happened after mine.The plan works at first. She doesn't say anything during breakfast. Afterward, she remains at the table with her Glock, but it doesn't sound like she's very focused on it. The sounds from the gun are slow and there are often long pauses between sounds. I'm not doing much better, still staring at the same page I opened to after finishing my bowl of cereal. Eventually, I hear the sound of the gun being placed on the table and her chair moving. I feel sweat prickle between my shoulder blades.I continue to stare at the book even as I see her approach in my periphery."You don't have to keep wearing that," she says.I don't move, don't look up, and pretend I've not
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 14
Tayja"There. 45 seconds, as requested."I'm sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of Ryan with my Glock sitting on the bedspread between us. He's been reading in the bedroom, hiding from me, I suspect, ever since we came back inside from an afternoon of target practice. A very, very quiet afternoon of target practice, save for the echoing gunshots.It seems he's given up wearing the mask, but he's still very uncomfortable with me viewing the injured side of his face. While he wore the mask, he was noticeably protective of his right side. Now that he's not wearing it, he's even more so. I'm not certain he even fully realizes he's doing it. It makes me feel sad for him, but part of me knows that he doesn't want that from me. I've decided to treat him as normally as possible. Maybe he'll subconsciously pick up on that and become more comfortable around me.I was correct last
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Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 43
AnaI barely realize what's going on as Ryan shoves me to the ground, cradling my head to protect me from the fall. He throws his body over mine, holding me tight and pressing me against the floor.It's only when I hear the gunshots that I realize he's being a human shield to stop me from being hurt. I cry out when he suddenly tenses and groans quietly at the same time as a gun goes off. Was he shot? Oh God, please not this again!Ryan maintains his position, shielding me from the barrage as best he can. I feel tears in my eyes. He can't die! I just got him back.I start to move, wanting to shield Ryan instead. He tightens his grip and bends his head down to my ear."Don't move," he says.Suddenly he is ripped away from me. I look up to see two men hauling him off and a red stain spreading on Ryan's chest. I gasp in horror and begin to cry.I scramble to my feet and fight the overwhelming instinct to cowe
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 42
RyanI come into consciousness slowly, awareness returning to me in delayed flashes. I'm in bed. There is a pressure on my chest. I open my eyes to find that I'm lying in my own bed for the first time in months. Ana is lying next to me, her head on my shoulder and her arm across my chest.What happened?For a moment, I have no idea what events transpired to bring about our present nearness. As I stir, I realize I'm sick. More than just a cold. The flu? My head and body have a dull ache and I feel incredibly weak.Ana moves in response to me shifting under her. She looks up at me and her hand rests on my forehead. I pull back a little in surprise. Why was she sleeping on me? Did something happen between us that I don't remember?"Oh, you're really awake this time?" she asks, her eyes hopeful.I just stare at her, confused. "What happened?"She rolls over on her stomach and props herself up on her elbows.
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 41
Ryan I'm back in that makeshift hospital tent, the hot Afghan wind offering no relief from the burning in my skin. I've got a raging fever and my head is killing me. The burns on my arm, torso, and face feel like they are ablaze. I hear a voice speaking to me."Please wake up, Ryan."For a brief moment, I think the voice belongs to Saph. But that can't be right. I don't want Saph to be here with me. I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm in love with someone else. I love her more than I ever loved Saph."Please wake up."Ana. I love Ana. I want Ana. How could I ever have confused her with Saph? Somehow, Ana is here with me in Afghanistan, here to comfort me during one of the darkest moments in my life. I open my eyes to see her sitting by my bedside. All around her is the chaos of that tiny hospital tent. The sounds of the battle outside echo distantly, but when I look at her, I feel the world stop and re
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 40
Ana"He's not dead, you fool!"I nearly shout at the book in my hands. Casper looks up at me from his spot near my feet. The female protagonist has given up hope that her love has survived a plane crash, despite the fact that he's very, very alive and trying to find her. In my frustration, I look up from the book and out the window. It's getting dark outside. Drawn out of the story and back into real life, the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach returns.I've spent the day alternating between berating myself for not speaking up last night and trying to read to keep my mind off what happened. I should have said something. I should have told him! But I was just so blindsided by the realization that he doesn't hate me, that his actions were born out of a heightened sense of self-defense instead of general disgust for me. He'd been avoiding me for so long that I thought he was mad at me, not... whatever this is.I waited
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 39
RyanI look out the door of the shed to see that the dismal grey clouds filling the sky have finally begun to precipitate. A dreary rain taps out a muted, doleful rhythm on the roof of the shed. The wind blows a cold shiver through the trees.The weather matches my mood perfectly.Last week, I almost kissed Ana. For some reason, that's messing me up more than any kiss ever has.Once upon a time, kissing a girl wouldn't have merited a second thought. Once upon a time, I was considered a catch. I was popular, handsome, and wealthy - the three things all the girls I used to know wanted in a man. Now I'm none of those things. I have no friends, unless you count Ana. Anyone who catches a glimpse of my face can see I'm now more off-putting than I ever was handsome. I suppose I've still got access to the same deep pockets, but the affluent lifestyle of my family is so far removed from anything I want now.Su
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 38
AnaI look up at the overcast sky and feel a chill sinking into my bones as a cold wind blows through the clearing. What a perfect day to be outside , I think sarcastically, frowning as I pull my hat down to cover my ears."What happened? A week ago, it was perfect. Now it's like the North Pole has declared war."Ryan pauses, resting his shovel on the ground and turning to look at me with an expression of incredulity."You think this is bad? It's above freezing right now. This is nothing. Wait until it's 20 below as a daytime high. Then you can complain."I gape at him in horror."Twenty degrees below zero? Fahrenheit?""In January, this area spent over two weeks below zero. Got as cold as thirty-five below last winter."I look around at the wildlife surrounding the cabin. "How is anything still alive here? How is this not an Arctic wasteland?""The inhabitants have learned to adap
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 37
RyanI sit alone on the riverbank, watching the current sweep briskly past, pulling my fishing line along with it. The bright sunlight sparkles off the little crests and troughs of ripples in the water's surface. A light breeze teases the weeds at the edge of the riverbank and leaves in the trees of the forest beyond. Melodic strains of birdsong, sounds of the forest, and the water rushing quietly by all blend together into the soothing rhythm of peace.I've done this more times than I can count, spending hours and hours sitting by this river, reveling in the vastness of this place and the absolute solitude. The peace and stillness out here used to be my refuge. But at some point, that changed. Now it feels different. Something is missing.I'm not exactly certain when I started realizing I felt this way. I'd always felt a certain pang of despair anytime I'd caught myself thinking about Saph. Tha
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 36
AnaI creep out of the bedroom quietly. Ryan's still asleep, but I had a dream about waffles last night and I have the power to make those dreams come true. I open the cabinet and reach for the waffle iron up on the top shelf. Ryan must have been the one to put it away last, because it's just barely out of my reach. I stand up on tippy-toes, my fingers grasping for the handle on the end. My finger brushes it. So close! I close my eyes in concentration.Suddenly I intuitively know that someone is standing right behind me. I'm not sure exactly how I know that. Maybe I felt his body heat in the close proximity, or I felt the soft stirring of his breath on my cheek, or perhaps I heard him moving behind me. All I know is, Ryan is standing very, very close to me now.I open my eyes and see his hand brush mine as he reaches for the waffle iron, easily grabbing it and bringing it down for me. A sense of deja-vu settles over me, like
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 35
Ryan"Damn it."I watch the screw fall and disappear somewhere on the ground. At this rate, I'll have to call Joe again and order more. I frown at that thought. I'd rather crawl around in the dirt searching for a screw than talk to that jerk.I descend the ladder carefully and sigh as I crouch, scanning the ground for the little piece of metal. I'm just one screw short of maybe being able to convince Ana to come outside again at dusk. After that incident with the bear three weeks ago, she strictly refuses to come outside after the sun has gone down. Which, by now, is just after 8 pm. The days will only continue to get shorter.A dim metallic wink catches my eye and I spot the screw. Finally. I shove it in my back pocket and risk life and limb once again to ascend the ladder. These floodlights better work. I hold the light, the bracket, and the screw in place with my right hand and fit the drill bit into the screw head w
