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CHAPTER 39
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Ryan
I look out the door of the shed to see that the dismal grey clouds filling the sky have finally begun to precipitate. A dreary rain taps out a muted, doleful rhythm on the roof of the shed. The wind blows a cold shiver through the trees.
The weather matches my mood perfectly.Last week, I almost kissed Ana. For some reason, that's messing me up more than any kiss ever has.Once upon a time, kissing a girl wouldn't have merited a second thought. Once upon a time, I was considered a catch. I was popular, handsome, and wealthy - the three things all the girls I used to know wanted in a man. Now I'm none of those things. I have no friends, unless you count Ana. Anyone who catches a glimpse of my face can see I'm now more off-putting than I ever was handsome. I suppose I've still got access to the same deep pockets, but the affluent lifestyle of my family is so far removed from anything I want now.SuRelated chapters
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 40
Ana"He's not dead, you fool!"I nearly shout at the book in my hands. Casper looks up at me from his spot near my feet. The female protagonist has given up hope that her love has survived a plane crash, despite the fact that he's very, very alive and trying to find her. In my frustration, I look up from the book and out the window. It's getting dark outside. Drawn out of the story and back into real life, the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach returns.I've spent the day alternating between berating myself for not speaking up last night and trying to read to keep my mind off what happened. I should have said something. I should have told him! But I was just so blindsided by the realization that he doesn't hate me, that his actions were born out of a heightened sense of self-defense instead of general disgust for me. He'd been avoiding me for so long that I thought he was mad at me, not... whatever this is.I waited
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 41
Ryan I'm back in that makeshift hospital tent, the hot Afghan wind offering no relief from the burning in my skin. I've got a raging fever and my head is killing me. The burns on my arm, torso, and face feel like they are ablaze. I hear a voice speaking to me."Please wake up, Ryan."For a brief moment, I think the voice belongs to Saph. But that can't be right. I don't want Saph to be here with me. I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm in love with someone else. I love her more than I ever loved Saph."Please wake up."Ana. I love Ana. I want Ana. How could I ever have confused her with Saph? Somehow, Ana is here with me in Afghanistan, here to comfort me during one of the darkest moments in my life. I open my eyes to see her sitting by my bedside. All around her is the chaos of that tiny hospital tent. The sounds of the battle outside echo distantly, but when I look at her, I feel the world stop and re
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 42
RyanI come into consciousness slowly, awareness returning to me in delayed flashes. I'm in bed. There is a pressure on my chest. I open my eyes to find that I'm lying in my own bed for the first time in months. Ana is lying next to me, her head on my shoulder and her arm across my chest.What happened?For a moment, I have no idea what events transpired to bring about our present nearness. As I stir, I realize I'm sick. More than just a cold. The flu? My head and body have a dull ache and I feel incredibly weak.Ana moves in response to me shifting under her. She looks up at me and her hand rests on my forehead. I pull back a little in surprise. Why was she sleeping on me? Did something happen between us that I don't remember?"Oh, you're really awake this time?" she asks, her eyes hopeful.I just stare at her, confused. "What happened?"She rolls over on her stomach and props herself up on her elbows.
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 43
AnaI barely realize what's going on as Ryan shoves me to the ground, cradling my head to protect me from the fall. He throws his body over mine, holding me tight and pressing me against the floor.It's only when I hear the gunshots that I realize he's being a human shield to stop me from being hurt. I cry out when he suddenly tenses and groans quietly at the same time as a gun goes off. Was he shot? Oh God, please not this again!Ryan maintains his position, shielding me from the barrage as best he can. I feel tears in my eyes. He can't die! I just got him back.I start to move, wanting to shield Ryan instead. He tightens his grip and bends his head down to my ear."Don't move," he says.Suddenly he is ripped away from me. I look up to see two men hauling him off and a red stain spreading on Ryan's chest. I gasp in horror and begin to cry.I scramble to my feet and fight the overwhelming instinct to cowe
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 1
TayjaI am running. Running faster than I've ever run before, my feet pounding the ground so hard that at any moment, I ought to lift off the ground and take flight. Screams are stuck in my throat, terror blinding me to the wicked branches tearing at my clothes and holding me back, keeping me trapped on the ground. I am being chased by the figure from my nightmares. The figure from my reality. I'm about to break free, about to return to the skies when a loud BANG explodes behind me. Now I am falling, falling, falling into a deep dark hole. A hand seizes my throat and suddenly everything is black, nothingness, nonexistent, null. Is this what it feels like to die? Is this how they felt?~~~A blinding light greets me the next time I dare to open my eyes. Brilliant whiteness overpowers my vision and I close my eyes to block out the intense glare. My brain is muddled and dim, my thoughts as viscous as crystallizing honey. My head feels li
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 2
RyanI open my eyes at the sound of the irritatingcreeeeak from the refrigerator door. A figure is silhouetted by the light emanating from the appliance. I stare blindly at the person standing in my kitchen. With a start, I realize it's the girl from the woods, conscious, alert, and roaming my house in the middle of the night. I quickly sit up, grab the ski mask, and pull it over my face. She squeaks in surprise. I grimly wonder what that little shriek would sound like had she seen my face. Or what's left of it. I scowl, grateful the mask hides my expression."Oh," she says. "I didn't see you there." She's still wearing the clothes I put her in. Her long dark hair is a tangled mess and her pallor looks sickly, but that might just be the greenish hue the aurora is casting on her face. Remembering the look on her face when she asked if I changed her clothing still makes me feel sick inside. I tried to be as respectful as possible and I wish I could put the memory ou
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 3
TayjaI look out the big window in the living room. At the treeline, I see Ryan trying to chop one down. It's not going particularly well for him. I've never watched someone fell a tree, but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to take twenty minutes.He's definitely not an old man. Despite his injuries, he still seems to have plenty of power behind his swings and a surprising amount of energy. His coordination, however, certainly leaves something to be desired. He said he'd been injured in Afghanistan, so how old would that make him? If I remember history right, the war in Afghanistan started after 9/11, so he's probably no older than mid-fifties. That's still old enough to be my father.Ryan stops and drops the ax. I'm startled out of my thoughts. Is he finally going to give up? He stands still for several long seconds, just staring at the tree he's been hacking away at. He turns toward the cabin and I duck behind the curtain instinctively. When I hazard a peek, he
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 4
RyanI've been staring at the same page in this book without actually reading any of it for the last fifteen minutes. I hear her quiet footsteps approach. I look up to find Ana watching me. Suddenly I wish she'd go back to avoiding me, as unnerving as that was."You said you have stuff delivered." Her voice is quiet and devoid of her earlier cheerfulness."Yes," I say, noticing she looks agitated. Is my presence that unpleasant for her?"So other people come here? Do people know you're out here?""A few," I say, confused until I realize how to make my problem go away. How to make her go away. She can't have recognized me, so there's no good reason to keep her here anyway. The solution is beautiful in its simplicity. "The next delivery will be soon. I'll arrange for you to be picked up and you can get back to your life. Just please don't go telling people about me. I came here for peace, like you said, and I don't want to lose that.""No," she says
Latest chapter
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 43
AnaI barely realize what's going on as Ryan shoves me to the ground, cradling my head to protect me from the fall. He throws his body over mine, holding me tight and pressing me against the floor.It's only when I hear the gunshots that I realize he's being a human shield to stop me from being hurt. I cry out when he suddenly tenses and groans quietly at the same time as a gun goes off. Was he shot? Oh God, please not this again!Ryan maintains his position, shielding me from the barrage as best he can. I feel tears in my eyes. He can't die! I just got him back.I start to move, wanting to shield Ryan instead. He tightens his grip and bends his head down to my ear."Don't move," he says.Suddenly he is ripped away from me. I look up to see two men hauling him off and a red stain spreading on Ryan's chest. I gasp in horror and begin to cry.I scramble to my feet and fight the overwhelming instinct to cowe
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 42
RyanI come into consciousness slowly, awareness returning to me in delayed flashes. I'm in bed. There is a pressure on my chest. I open my eyes to find that I'm lying in my own bed for the first time in months. Ana is lying next to me, her head on my shoulder and her arm across my chest.What happened?For a moment, I have no idea what events transpired to bring about our present nearness. As I stir, I realize I'm sick. More than just a cold. The flu? My head and body have a dull ache and I feel incredibly weak.Ana moves in response to me shifting under her. She looks up at me and her hand rests on my forehead. I pull back a little in surprise. Why was she sleeping on me? Did something happen between us that I don't remember?"Oh, you're really awake this time?" she asks, her eyes hopeful.I just stare at her, confused. "What happened?"She rolls over on her stomach and props herself up on her elbows.
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 41
Ryan I'm back in that makeshift hospital tent, the hot Afghan wind offering no relief from the burning in my skin. I've got a raging fever and my head is killing me. The burns on my arm, torso, and face feel like they are ablaze. I hear a voice speaking to me."Please wake up, Ryan."For a brief moment, I think the voice belongs to Saph. But that can't be right. I don't want Saph to be here with me. I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm in love with someone else. I love her more than I ever loved Saph."Please wake up."Ana. I love Ana. I want Ana. How could I ever have confused her with Saph? Somehow, Ana is here with me in Afghanistan, here to comfort me during one of the darkest moments in my life. I open my eyes to see her sitting by my bedside. All around her is the chaos of that tiny hospital tent. The sounds of the battle outside echo distantly, but when I look at her, I feel the world stop and re
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 40
Ana"He's not dead, you fool!"I nearly shout at the book in my hands. Casper looks up at me from his spot near my feet. The female protagonist has given up hope that her love has survived a plane crash, despite the fact that he's very, very alive and trying to find her. In my frustration, I look up from the book and out the window. It's getting dark outside. Drawn out of the story and back into real life, the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach returns.I've spent the day alternating between berating myself for not speaking up last night and trying to read to keep my mind off what happened. I should have said something. I should have told him! But I was just so blindsided by the realization that he doesn't hate me, that his actions were born out of a heightened sense of self-defense instead of general disgust for me. He'd been avoiding me for so long that I thought he was mad at me, not... whatever this is.I waited
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 39
RyanI look out the door of the shed to see that the dismal grey clouds filling the sky have finally begun to precipitate. A dreary rain taps out a muted, doleful rhythm on the roof of the shed. The wind blows a cold shiver through the trees.The weather matches my mood perfectly.Last week, I almost kissed Ana. For some reason, that's messing me up more than any kiss ever has.Once upon a time, kissing a girl wouldn't have merited a second thought. Once upon a time, I was considered a catch. I was popular, handsome, and wealthy - the three things all the girls I used to know wanted in a man. Now I'm none of those things. I have no friends, unless you count Ana. Anyone who catches a glimpse of my face can see I'm now more off-putting than I ever was handsome. I suppose I've still got access to the same deep pockets, but the affluent lifestyle of my family is so far removed from anything I want now.Su
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 38
AnaI look up at the overcast sky and feel a chill sinking into my bones as a cold wind blows through the clearing. What a perfect day to be outside , I think sarcastically, frowning as I pull my hat down to cover my ears."What happened? A week ago, it was perfect. Now it's like the North Pole has declared war."Ryan pauses, resting his shovel on the ground and turning to look at me with an expression of incredulity."You think this is bad? It's above freezing right now. This is nothing. Wait until it's 20 below as a daytime high. Then you can complain."I gape at him in horror."Twenty degrees below zero? Fahrenheit?""In January, this area spent over two weeks below zero. Got as cold as thirty-five below last winter."I look around at the wildlife surrounding the cabin. "How is anything still alive here? How is this not an Arctic wasteland?""The inhabitants have learned to adap
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 37
RyanI sit alone on the riverbank, watching the current sweep briskly past, pulling my fishing line along with it. The bright sunlight sparkles off the little crests and troughs of ripples in the water's surface. A light breeze teases the weeds at the edge of the riverbank and leaves in the trees of the forest beyond. Melodic strains of birdsong, sounds of the forest, and the water rushing quietly by all blend together into the soothing rhythm of peace.I've done this more times than I can count, spending hours and hours sitting by this river, reveling in the vastness of this place and the absolute solitude. The peace and stillness out here used to be my refuge. But at some point, that changed. Now it feels different. Something is missing.I'm not exactly certain when I started realizing I felt this way. I'd always felt a certain pang of despair anytime I'd caught myself thinking about Saph. Tha
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 36
AnaI creep out of the bedroom quietly. Ryan's still asleep, but I had a dream about waffles last night and I have the power to make those dreams come true. I open the cabinet and reach for the waffle iron up on the top shelf. Ryan must have been the one to put it away last, because it's just barely out of my reach. I stand up on tippy-toes, my fingers grasping for the handle on the end. My finger brushes it. So close! I close my eyes in concentration.Suddenly I intuitively know that someone is standing right behind me. I'm not sure exactly how I know that. Maybe I felt his body heat in the close proximity, or I felt the soft stirring of his breath on my cheek, or perhaps I heard him moving behind me. All I know is, Ryan is standing very, very close to me now.I open my eyes and see his hand brush mine as he reaches for the waffle iron, easily grabbing it and bringing it down for me. A sense of deja-vu settles over me, like
Risks Of Loving You CHAPTER 35
Ryan"Damn it."I watch the screw fall and disappear somewhere on the ground. At this rate, I'll have to call Joe again and order more. I frown at that thought. I'd rather crawl around in the dirt searching for a screw than talk to that jerk.I descend the ladder carefully and sigh as I crouch, scanning the ground for the little piece of metal. I'm just one screw short of maybe being able to convince Ana to come outside again at dusk. After that incident with the bear three weeks ago, she strictly refuses to come outside after the sun has gone down. Which, by now, is just after 8 pm. The days will only continue to get shorter.A dim metallic wink catches my eye and I spot the screw. Finally. I shove it in my back pocket and risk life and limb once again to ascend the ladder. These floodlights better work. I hold the light, the bracket, and the screw in place with my right hand and fit the drill bit into the screw head w
