Chapter 3: Emmi

It didn’t take long for me to become sad and lonely after Ajax left. He is everything that is bright and beautiful in this world. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but I do. And when he’s gone, I feel sad. So sad.

The song comes unbidden. It’s a song that I’ve sung before when I’ve felt so alone that I wanted to cry. I close my eyes and begin singing the lyrics, swaying to the music as I sit on my bed.

‘Dancing slowly in an empty room

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.’

I feel the tears starting just as I hear him.

“That’s such a sad song. What is it? I’ve never heard it before,” he says. My Sunshine.

I open my eyes and he’s here. He’s back. The light and beauty of the world.

“It’s called The Lonely, by Christina Perri.”

He walks into the room, filling it with his scent of a warm, summer afternoon. Everything inside me calms, the sadness being pushed away by his bright glow.

“It sounds so sad,” he says, lifting me up and sitting, holding me in his lap. “Why are you sad, my sweet Emmi?”

I curl up against him, breathing in his scent. I’m not sure why his scent calls to me, why his arms around me feel so right, but they do.

“You left me,” I say.

“Only temporarily. I will never leave you permanently. One day, I hope you’re strong enough to be released from here and we can go to classes together. Would you like that?” he asks me.

“I like being with you.”

I feel his chest rumble in pleasure at those words.

“Would you like to spend the afternoon with me?” he asks.

I pull away, looking up at him, surprised. He looks down at me, smiling. “Would you?”

“More than anything,” I say.

“Classes are cancelled, so I have an entire afternoon free to spend with anyone I want. And do you know who I want to spend time with, Emmi?” he asks me.

“Me?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“You!” he says, kissing my nose.

He scoops me up and carries me outside. “Did you want to sit in the sunshine?” he asks me.

“Yes.”

“Would you sing me a song? You really have a beautiful voice,” he says.

“What do you want to hear?” I ask him.

“Whatever you want to sing for me,” he says, smiling at me. I could really melt in the beauty of his eyes. They’re so expressive.

I’ve never sung for anyone before. No one ever wanted to hear me sing. When he sits, the song just comes to me.

‘Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens’

“Oh, I know this one!” he says excitedly and sings the next part of the song.

We go back and forth, singing about our favorite things and when we finish the song, I lean against him, enjoying him, the warm air around us, and just being happy. I begin humming, changing some of the lines in the song so they actually relate to my favorite things.

‘Green scales on dragons and strong arms around me

Beautiful smiles and days that shine brightly,

Green eyes that swirl with some brown and gold rings

These are a few of my favorite things.’

“I know some other songs from The Sound of Music, you know if you want to sing any others,” he says.

I sit up and look at him. “You know The Sound of Music?”

“Hey, the hills are alive with the sound of music,” he says, making me laugh.

“You’re a really great person, Ajax. Do you know that?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “I haven’t always been. My life wasn’t great. It’s a life that similar to the others who live here. We’ve all lied, cheated, stolen, some have done worse. I think that’s why we were chosen by the scientists, you know?” he asks me.

“I think we were chosen because we had no one. No one who cared about us. No one who would come looking for us. No one who loved us,” I say, feeling sad again.

“You’re not alone anymore, Emmi,” he says, wrapping his arms more tightly around me.

“But I am, aren’t I, Ajax? Dr. Everett can’t figure out what I am and until he does, I’ll have these mental breaks or whatever you want to call them where I don’t remember things. I still have my headaches that make me want to claw my scalp open to let whatever is trying to get out, out.”

“Don’t do that. Please. Don’t hurt yourself. If you ever start to feel that bad, come find me. I don’t care what time it is. I don’t care if we’ll get in trouble for it. I’ll take the blame. You’re too special to hurt yourself like that. Will you do that for me, Emmi?" he pleads, his eyes fully of worry.

"Okay, Ajax," I say softly.

"And … I really like your voice. Will you sing for me some more?”

“Will you sing with me?” I ask him.

“If I know the words,” he says.

I sing several lines of songs until I find one that he knows and the rest of the afternoon, we spend singing songs together.

“The sun is about to set, Emmi. Let’s go see it. Then I have to get you back for dinner so my father doesn’t get angry,” he says.

We stand and he takes my hand, like this is a date. He leads me farther into the woods around the school until we get to an area where there’s a meadow.

“Look,” he says softly, moving behind me and pointing to the mountain range nearby. The sun is setting behind us, but the colors begin reflecting off the snow-capped mountain.

I lean back against him, and he wraps his arms around me. I feel safe and warm, and I really wouldn’t care if we were looking at nothing but the mountain in the middle of the day. Just being with Ajax makes this moment special.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” he asks me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

I turn to look at him. “Yes.”

He turns and looks at me. “I want to kiss you so desperately, Emmi. I don’t want to scare you, but …”

I don’t let him finish. I press my lips to his. Something ignites in my body, something hot and exciting, like embers that have been stoked into a raging fire.

I turn in his arms and slide my arms around his neck as his go around my waist. He teases my lips with his tongue before gently sliding it into my mouth. He deepens the kiss which strengthens his taste as I feel myself melting against him. I moan and whimper as I feel him growling against me, his arms tightening around me.

I have no idea how long we kiss. I lose track of time and space, letting myself get lost in this amazing man who somehow wants to be with me. Even the possessiveness of his kiss makes me happy. I want to be his and he wants me to be his too.

When he finally pulls back, it’s dark. He rubs his nose against mine. “You taste like fire,” he whispers.

“Is that good?” I ask.

“The earth dragon in me really likes it,” he says, making me smile.

“You taste like sunshine,” I say, making him rumble in happiness.

“I know how much you like your sunshine,’ he says.

Something deep inside me answers him silently. ‘I love my Sunshine.’