4. Unsafe feeling

Kalina's POV

Although I once said Alva should break up with him, we both understood it was just a joke, their three-year relationship couldn't just end like that. I was so upset, the way he treated my sister made me want to rage.

Apparently, according to Alva, he was a very caring and gentle person, but that also couldn't mask some of his strange attitudes.

At this moment, the doorbell of the store rang, and Alva immediately changed her gloomy expression to happy, stood up, and waved: "James!"

I turned around to look, immediately as if a warm wind had hit my face. He is indeed very handsome and one can feel his warmth from the first meeting, there must be a lot of girls who fall in love with him at first sight.

However, I am not one of those people who are fooled by his looks, because I have always felt something unlucky in his aura. I don't expect to have anything related to this person, even if I become his sister-in-law.

No, no- I have to slowly figure it out, don't take a bad look at Alva's boyfriend. No matter what, he's always been nice to Alva, if I get upset with him, I'll turn into an unreasonable person again.

"Hi, I'm James, nice to meet you." James stood beside Alva, holding out his hand.

I acted casually and shook his hand, saying, "I'm Kalina, Alva's sister." To be honest, I wasn't very happy to meet him.

His hands were much colder than I thought, further giving me the illusion that he was an unreliable person. In the middle of a summer like this, why is a man's hand so cold?

After that, the two of them took me out, making my mood even worse until dark. The neighborhood is full of flashing lights, the ears are full of melodious music as if to entice passersby, and the two sides are full of food stalls that I have never eaten. In the blink of an eye, my depression was gone, feeling so lucky to have come here.

Turns out there are still a lot of interesting places in this country that I haven't been to.

“Alva, when the epidemic is over, would you like to travel with me?” While James wasn't here I started talking about my plans.

"Really? Can I go with you?" Alva asked surprised.

Normally I would never travel for two, but now as an exception, maybe this trip won't be so bad. Opening our hearts is a necessity when we need to get closer.

"Okay, I'll take care of everything, it's your job to tell your parents." I gave a rare smile, but immediately the corners of my lips were stiff when I saw James turn around.

Weird, really weird, I feel unsafe in his eyes. Finally, I was forced to speak when my legs began to ache.

"I'm tired, thank you for today." I took Alva's hand and pulled her to take a taxi.

“Wait, coming home late at night is not a good idea for two girls, you two can stay at my house until morning.” James proposes a reasonable solution.

I started to become confused, not okay, this is not my normal emotion.

"It's okay, it's just a sleep."

Alva shook my hand and advised me in her usual tone of voice: "Sister, that's the best way, I'll call my parents and say we're staying here."

"No, let's go home." I said emphatically.

"What's wrong?-" James said, before he could say anything more silly, Alva interrupted again: "It's okay, sister, I've been going to his house to rest before."

My face twisted uncontrollably, almost screaming because my sister considered it normal to stay overnight in a man's house. But then I clicked on my own hand, giving a wry smile, I can't get mad all of a sudden anyway.

“Okay, I look forward to coming to your house.” Well, I guess my expression is weird. That's my signature weakness- have trouble controlling my facial expressions.

Alva's attitude started to become forced, as usual. I also have to admit that it's hard to be close to someone like me who can't hide their negative feelings. I used to think about going to a psychiatrist, and then I didn't have the courage, because if I walked in there I might be judged as crazy by my family.

Personally, I think I'm going crazy. But when that doesn't happen, I don't care.

James's house was quite clean as if he were a real ideal man. The guest bedroom is also so neat that there is nothing to complain about, moreover, it does not have any smell, although I don't want to admit it, it is much better than hotels in tourist areas where I usually through experience.

After a long day we also lost interest in watching movies or anything else, quickly took a shower, and jumped into bed. I could have slept alone, but because I wasn't assured, I asked Alva to sleep with me.

When I'm in a strange place I often have trouble sleeping. There are so many things out of my control, my mind is on high alert all the time, it's just that I'm used to it. Over time, I also feel this feeling of not deep sleep so well because it helps me not to ignore anything going on around me.

But not now.

I couldn't fall asleep, I didn't even want to yawn while Alva has been sleeping like the dead for a long time, I look at her, jealousy starting to kindle my dark heart.

Why are we sisters but I can't sleep well?

Is there any difference in our genetic makeup? Or do I deserve to be tormented like this?

…

“Haiz…” I turned my back to Alva, putting my jealousy behind me for a moment.

When Alva showed a waking expression, I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. She gently walked out of the room, waited for the door to close again before I sat up.

Damn, I didn't get any rest last night.

Alva suddenly returned with breakfast in hand, surprised to ask: "You woke up so early?"

Luckily I didn't have any dark circles on my eyes so she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, or else she'd definitely assume she was the reason for my discomfort. My little sister, I don't like her, but anyway she's a nice person who deserves good things.

"It's morning, I have to wake up." I went to the bathroom, every felt tired everywhere.

I look like a travel junkie, but in reality, I just like to stay put and sleep, but sleeping at home will make other people judge me.

Another day passed peacefully. I returned to my not-very-cozy house, buried my head in drawing, and waited until the day the epidemic ended. That day came much earlier than I expected, I can't help but admire the correctness of my country's epidemic prevention work.

Well, how did I not realize this place is also a great place? I hope to experience safe travels here, maybe my insomnia will improve when vigilance is not to be pushed to the highest level as usual.

The first place we decided to go would be the key tourist area at the end of the country, then gradually moved up until there was no place for us to experience anymore.

Hmm, I suddenly had a problem, what if Alva doesn't want to go with me that much? She'll get bored of the trips, then come back with that suspicious boyfriend. Anyway, I think she seems happier with him, not me.

Looking at the cloudy sky, I don't dare to hope for anything anymore. A streak of red suddenly cuts across the sky, I guess I'm missing red again.

It wasn't long then the epidemic almost disappeared, or in other words, we could live with it. Traveling in the country will no longer be limited, Alva and I decided to set out with the intention of completing long trips.

At first, my mother was very worried because this was the first time Alva traveled as long as, calling me every few hours to check on me, which made me feel a bit annoyed. Did she forget that Alva was traveling with someone as experienced as me?

Mom called us continuously until a week later when I couldn't stand this control and found an excuse to avoid the conversation, and gradually she stopped bothering us. Alva remained the same without expressing an opinion, immersing herself in the trips without having to think much.

Thanks to Alva staying with me, I don't sleep as much in the hotel anymore, instead going outside more, pushing our plans forward.

Um… Before that, I didn't know that being with a relative one could be so comfortable.

We go home about every 3 months, and Alva has expressed to her parents that she learns a lot from the outside world, so it's not bad that we leave the house constantly.

My parents didn't agree at first, so my mood dropped once more. I wonder if they feel like their daughter is being taken away by an outsider like me.

In the end, I had no right to make Alva come with me, choosing to pack my suitcase and leave. Staying in the hotel is so boring, I sit and sigh and think about the future.

Maybe my parents did the right thing by not agreeing to let Alva go with me, she needs a stable future, not wandering in the tourist areas. I just go and see this world, without any plans for my life, I don't even think about old age because I think I won't live that long.

Right at this moment I received a call from Alva, her voice sounded very urgent. I widened my eyes, didn't have time to get another coat, and ran out of the hotel.