4. Naomi

“I don’t know what he’s trying to do, but he needs to stop it,” I growled at Leona, stuck in the side-room to the library. Finn has gone to check on their progress leaving us alone. 

I rubbed at the back of my neck where that constant gaze of FInn’s had lingered for the past half hour. 

“Don’t let him get under your skin,” Leona sighs. Sat on plain wooden chairs we both lean forward, except she fiddles endlessly with a small charm bracelet on her wrist, the tiny wooden letters spelling out Aria’s name.

“It’s not that easy,” I protested. Like it’s so easy to just ignore one's mate, undressing you with his gaze. “Believe me I’m trying.”

“You act like Finn’s something special.”

“He is my mate,” I snapped in frustration.

“You’re stronger than all that bond shit Naomi. Believe me…” looking at the floor. “Anyway what was with the near death biking experience.”

“That was fun! You nearly ran over Beta Riley! What’s with his hair now though, twirly braids?”

“It was fucking insane Naomi.”

“Oh come on, you used to love all that. You're crazier than me when there's jumps to hit,” smiling at my serious twin.

“Yeah but if we crashed and laid up for a few days it didn’t matter before,” her voice trailing away. Ah yes. The babies. Forgot about that for a second as a wave of shame hits me. The responsibility to someone other than myself. Flying through the trees laughing at the struggles of Finn, I’d felt like the Naomi of old. 

The one who knew what she was doing. Even if it was breaking the necks of assassins as they tried to creep through Cragstone. Every time I killed one I offered a prayer up to my father. Hoping that was the bastard who took him from us.

“Yeah of course. Sorry,” I offer only for Leona to look across. “Is it just Finn?”

“What?”

“Is it just Finn getting to you or is there something else we need to talk about?”

“Oh, no he’s just a jackass.”

“Then why haven’t you rejected him-”

“Because I’ve had bigger things to worry about than him,” never able to lie to my twin soul. The night of the White Forest ball we had just commemorated Aiden’s death officially, forced to wait until almost six months after he was slain. 

My head was fucked. Bump huge and painful. So brushing against Finn, sparking that bond was too much. Especially the way his eyes filled with gold and hurt when I screamed at him to leave me alone. 

“True, that whole period is just a blur in my head as well if I'm honest…” Leona agreed softly. “But what about now? Little Rami seems like hard work-”

“Ladies! Our dusty old papers await!” Finn announces, opening the creaking wooden door with far more clout that was necessary. “Thanks to our off-road fun I’ve had to change,” gesturing down to the ridiculous white vest that clung far too tightly to his abs and pecs, an open navy blue shirt, with no chance of ever closing trying to contain his broad shoulders and arms.

I hate the way Impes immediately prickles, preens and tingles down my spine the instant he is in the room. Like she wants his wolf to notice her. To desire us.

/Stop posing/ I warn my wolf.

/You’re the one looking up at him like he invented fire/ Impes sarcastically retorts. 

I snap my mouth shut quickly and replace my wide-eyed staring with a glare. Leona silently heads through muttering something about getting back before dark, passing under his thick, muscular arm as he braces against door frame.

“You look ridiculous, Penkov,” I snapped before standing up and walking straight past him. Except my body betrays me and I take in a breath of his gorgeously warm rich scent. So warm it’s tangy, burning on my tongue like I’ve drunk the finest winter tipple. 

“Well you don’t,” he replies with absolute seriousness. “Not at all.”

Halting, I turn around and he’s leaning, arms folded against the doorway. His huge frame steals the light from the wooden side room, the dark shadows draping him like a beast. Something that haunts this place. Only the soft, ashy curls at the top of his head prevent him looking completely fearsome.

“You look good Kharkov,” he adds, as something inside me turns mushy and girly. Shit I like my name in his deep voice. 

I don’t need this. 

/Why not!/ Impes demands.

“You’re here to guard us, not leer,” I fire back, turning away before I do something foolish. My legs feel like jelly in the leather pants that are decidedly tighter than anything I normally wear. 

Before he can fire any further comments my way I’m by Leona’s side like a limpet. I feel her side-eyeing me with frustration as we walk in tandem towards the huge library. 

Dusty tomes surround us on every side. Ladders stretching up into the huge domed ceilings, crammed shelves everywhere. Rising Star will make a fabulous university because it’s housing every kind of knowledge in their libraries. They were immaculate record keepers.

Luna Freya wants all the Dark Arts finding and removing first though, before any students casually try to steal wolf spirits or hold communion with the dead. 

Shadowlands has less than thirty years of records. White Forest just noted major battles. Rising Star has everything. Except when it comes to more secretive information, it’s been coded. 

A code that only the ruling members of Rising Star could read. The ones who are all dead now.

Gustav, possibly the very last living relative of Phillipe’s is such small fry on the family tree he probably couldn’t even read the Cyrillic script if his life depended on it. 

However the serious Beta Hayden, paired with his mate, the dramatically white blonde Wren, had devoted themselves to cracking the code. Whilst I had been trying to stop the crawling Rami from chewing rocks they had knocked at my cottage door. 

Every inch of bare skin on Hayden's muscular frame was covered in tattooed vines, tiny animals, and flowers. I didn’t dare ask what was under his skin before the ink. His mate Wren was a Rising Star girl. White hair and jet black eyes. If she didn’t smile so beautifully she’d look like a hellbound beast. 

That code is the only reason I’ve come home. Get Leona, get translation and then get killing.

“So where do you want to start?” Wren smiles, handing over a huge bundle of papers. Covering each letter of the alphabet, she's even made a glossary of key words. Gustav’s name being the top of the list.

Turning to Leona, “What do you think?” but she is just staring at all the shelving, getting paler by the second.

“So it's how many books?” Finn mumbles to Hayden in the background. He’s done as I asked. I can’t feel the heat of his gaze on my body. He’s not making my stomach do flips or leaving my legs weak. When he called me Kharkov I think I lost control of my brain for several seconds. 

/I miss it too/ Impes suggests. I make everyone jump when I slap my hand on the wooden desk in frustration. 

No. I don't miss it. I don’t want it.

“Problem?” Finn asks from the other side of the room, his voice lilting with glee that he’s got yet another foolish reaction out of me. “Ant,” I whisper to Leona, not that she believes me.

Turning to the others I announce brightly. “Not at all. I think we start with Gustav’s family tree. We must have missed someone. A person, a protector who he could have run to.”

“Let’s make a start, hopefully we can wrap this up quickly,” Leona grumbles, her lips pulled into a pout of annoyance as she begins counting volumes of books.  

“What's up with you?” elbowing her softly. Hayden has put months into this research.”

“What? Why don’t we take some of this shit back to Shadowlands and work through it there?”

“Because it’s not our property and…which books would you go for?” gesturing towards the sea of foreboding texts as Leona bites her bottom lip with concern.

“Well I can’t stay here for long!” she hisses. “You know I’ve got your back but…”

I get it now. She doesn’t want to be away from Aria. She’s a good mother. An excellent one. Here I was, thinking we might enjoy a night or two to ourselves. Maybe have a laugh like old times. Spar and see if we can still perform the martial arts drills in perfect sync like we’ve done since we were four years old. 

Selfish, silly me.

“But we’ll get as much done as we can now,” I stammer, staring into the dusty beige so intensely they might set on fire. 

Finn clears his throat and his heavy footsteps on the wooden floor echo the beat of my heart. He stands at Wren's side and thumbs through the translations. “What do you want me to do?”

Hayden slaps his back, “these desks need carrying over there, if you don’t mind big man! Otherwise I’m breaking off the builders to do it in a team. Best light is from these windows,” and for the first time I feel something other than warm happy hope, or deviant burning, teasing lust from my mate. 

It’s darker, and far angrier.

/We should say something/ Impes urges but I don’t even know the man. Not really. A magnetic urge to look at Finn’s body does not count as a real connection.

Even so, my stack of papers ends up ignored whilst I watch Finn, jaw jutting with tension as he heaves a huge wooden desk onto his shoulders.

He places it down exactly as required without even taking a breath, dust clouds making us all splutter. Hayden helps him with chairs and piles of records. Every stack they fetch over makes Leona’s face tighten further. All this will need decoding and checking.

Finally, Leona and I settle into place, facing Wren and Hayden. Each of us has a dark blue leather-bound chair each and a stack of books too high to see over. “Let’s make a start then,” Leona mutters, grabbing a quill and some parchment. “Each book we rule out, make a note so we don’t go over each other's work.”

I dive in and try not to be overwhelmed by what looks like swirling nonsense. After an hour I've got a rhythm and understanding. But Leona is miserable, it’s all over her face. 

I know it’s not our usual blood-filled antics but surely she hasn’t lost her desire for vengeance? We tore through every inch of packlands together as our bumps grew side by side. 

Rarely talking about Adrian, or our impending motherhood. 

Just slashing our way through any last hybrids or traitors that dared try and cross us. Wolfsbane-filled syringes rained on the floor but nobody knew where Gustav was. This library will help us, I know it.

Gradually we settle into a quiet routine. Finn quietly fetches drinks, builds a fire. Then returns to the window. The shame-filled cloud lingers in my heart. He’s brooding and hurt. Why has nobody asked him to help translate? 

Impes nudges me. /Give him a shot. Ask him to sit with you all/

/He doesn’t want to./

/How do you know! He has knowledge of Shadowlands we don’t!/

Damn my wolf. Finn is Head Beta, he knows the Shadowlands region inside out, including the areas where the more illegal activities happen. He’s a fantastic resource. /Plus he smells so good when he’s near/ Impes crows happily in my head. 

I twist my head, a smile forming. but he’s already spun away from the window and is shooting me daggers. 

For the first time I see something in Finn’s features that leaves me cold. Before I can offer him a place at the table, he simply stands up and heads out of the library. 

I feel my wolf whimper with sadness. Left alone with my own thoughts again, including the gnawing awareness Leona is hating every second of this. 

Looks like I’m still getting everything wrong.