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20. Naomi
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Resisting the Beta 21. Finn
Sparring was a fantastic idea. In principle. However, it was against two opponents. Naomi and my desperate, overarching need to just pull her to the floor and spread her legs. Obviously, I had not encountered this issue when wrestling the chunky Easton before now. Yanking Beta Tucker’s black braids did not hold the same deviant appeal as wrapping strands of cherry red hair through my fingers and guiding her lips to mine. I swear that red hair has done something unnatural to me. Why has Naomi spent so many years fitting in when she could have been tearing the fucking world up looking like this? Neverthless her punch to my throat showed she meant business. I get it completely. There is nothing like running yourself into the ground. Shredding every last bit of thinking to pieces, until you’re a blank slate again. A panting, tattered heap with every muscle burning. If that’s what my girl needs I’ll give it to her. I follow her outside into the small, grassy yard at the back
Resisting the Beta 22. Naomi
I distinctly remember having firm concrete walls around my heart. I could proudly sit alone in my room and not worry or miss the presence of any man. Not even Adrian. I could always bring myself back. I don't think I'm safe anymore. I think I’m his. I want Rami to see Finn as someone to respect and look up to. Maybe call ourselves some kind of family. Except I don’t want to stay home and play Mama. Baking shitty cookies and tending to chickens. Finn isn’t going to want caging in either. His grip isn’t guiding me as firmly now. It’s all me, I’m pushing myself to the limits of what I can breathlessly endure before losing my mind. Every increasingly slick movement, the tension in his neck, it’s all driven by me. Finn loves me. Fuck I can’t believe he said it like that. His dirty words already had a dramatic effect on my body, what would his loving ones feel like? “Whatever you’re thinking about, don’t stop,” he growls, closing his eyes, brow creasing. “Goddess that is…how
Resisting the Beta 23. Finn
I’m less than twenty four hours from seeing her again. I’ll be back by tonight, the Ceremony tomorrow. Fuck I hope her hair is still red. Not that I lasted seven weeks without her. Not even close. She laughed through her hands at the to see me back at my doorstep the same day I left her. Threatening to wake up Rami she pulled me inside and laughed into my chest. “Something funny Kharkov?” Until I lifted her up on the counter, standing between her legs, my mates’ irises lit up like sunflowers meeting the sky. Trying to sound gruff I added, “Don’t make me shut you up,” before yanking her hands away and pressing my lips to hers, fully aware of her blade snaking its way dangerously down my back until I lost another perfectly good leather belt. “You really don’t listen to plans, do you?” she giggled, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her legs already clamped around my waist. “You just do your own thing. Seven weeks we said!” “Maybe I just wanted to say goodbye properly
Resisting the Beta 24. Naomi
Beta Rhett and Eleanor’s Ceremony is tomorrow. All the drills and training have left me tingling with energy. I need to show the pack I am back. However, the disaster in the town square with Beta Riley and poor Rami’s little button nose did not pass lightly. Despite Finn arriving that same night and whisking my blues away in a devious, maddening blur of grabbing, perfect devious embraces, the next morning, the truth still remained. In front of the entire square, I idiotically harmed my own child. /To be fair, Eleanor should have kept hold of his hand/ Impes complains, yet again. Sadly, all that counts is what the public saw. They saw me attack a man for no good reason and then, out of control, lash out and knock down my own child. /The public are a set of dickheads. We kept Phoebe’s secret at least./ Ramis poor little face puffed up like a choux bun after, his eyes black with bruises. The guilt ate away at me for days. When he cried for Finn I had no idea what to say. Phoeb
Resisting the Beta 25. Finn
So desperate to get on the road to Cragstone I hadn’t been able to wait in Rising Star much longer. Not with the truth about Gustav, the treacherous human side and Leona burning away in my mind. It needs shouting from the fucking rooftops. Humans are the danger. We’re searching inside when the enemy is over the fence. Dancing over the border with their landmines and wolfsbane. Thinking of the war, the massacres, the men sacrificed to Alpha Phillipe’s insane plans I am more than happy to be hurled by catapult into their territory. Then shift and start tearing people up. It’s what I’m made for after all.But my men were missing. Nothing can move until the truth is spoken.I walked the castle ramparts, muttering “Come on, come on, come on,” until my patience wore out. Finally, with sunset approaching, Hayden and I set off looking for them. I tried to convince myself we would just run into them on the way and they’d laugh at my eagerness. But the route they were meant to travel back on
Resisting the Beta 26. Naomi
He looks so sad, a wounded lion. Powerfully strong but reduced somehow. /You should have told him your bond can survive anything. That you love him!/ Impes reprimands. Well I’ve got to tell him Fate has plans for Rami to be an orphan first. But I have no idea who or what will cause it. Only that everyone around me seems to think instead of trusting Finn, I should be heading for the hills. What do they all see that I can't? Those grey eyes have a direct connection to my soul, his pain radiating outwards. Squeezing my arms a little tighter around his shoulders, my confession escapes. “You don’t want to know how many nights I’ve sat in this kitchen and hoped you’d appear.” His eyes light up, just a little, showering my skin with goose pimples. “You don’t know how many nights I sat on the quad and weighed it up. Wren think I’ve lost my mind.” I smile and stroke his strong jawline. His huge neck and shoulder muscles are at odds with the gentle, loving nature of his fe
Resisting the Beta 27. Finn
Together with the still-healing Sawyer, we start knocking on the doors of the people assigned to set up the stages for tomorrow's Ceremony. By sunrise, the whole pack will know. Alpha Nikolai and Luna Genevieve of White Forest plus Luna Freya and Alpha Zeke of Rising Star will be here, too. Sketching out ideas for an attack. Dawdling, talking, wondering. It’s not quick enough. The humans torched a fucking Rising Star village. Invaded our fucking packhouse. They're mocking us. “I didn’t see anything! I just fetched the wood from the storage shed for the stage. Same as every month!” quivered a young trainee Beta. “Why are you asking this?” “We can’t say,” Sawyer answered firmly, looking a complete villain with that scabbed cuts to his face and bloodied shirt shirt. “But did you see anybody walking around? Anything unusual?” "Nothing. We brought out the wood, left it for the construction guys, and came home. We were done hours ago.” With that, we left. “Fuck’s sake. This i
Resisting the Beta 28. Naomi
I’m grateful my lookout spot is focused on the packhouse because right now that’s the only place my eyes are drawn to. I saw Finn and Sawyer talking before, Tucker taking his leave across the huge market square. Now Finn is inside talking with Cillian. My women are placed across the outskirts of the town, the furthest perimeters are under safe surveillance. He’s going to tell him about Zena. The vision he was given. Finn is going to know I didn’t tell him everything. What will he think of me keeping such a secret? Shit. Would it have really been so hard to just explain? I knock my head against the wooden rafter and beg Impes to change the record. During the war, I spent months cooped up in this small roof space. I look up to the night sky and wonder all over again just what was going through Leona’s mind those few days we spent together at Rising Star. The quiet of the night allows me to think too much. That was one of the reasons it was so hard during the war. Too much sit
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