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19. Finn
Last Updated:
2024-05-31 22:26:07
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Resisting the Beta 20. Naomi
“What do I want?” I sigh, looking down at a scene of bizarre perfection. This huge, gentle giant sprawled out on the floor holding my world together. “Running away is tempting,” I whisper, stroking my fingers through his ashy curls. “Always is,” Finn’s voice flatter than before. "But it wouldn’t fix anything.” It wouldn’t resolve my vow to get justice for Leona. We did it for Papa, we went out there and slit every single hybrid wolf’s throat. She deserves no less. Finn’s grey eyes stared up at me from the floor, his lips slightly parted, tempting me to kiss them all over again. I wept that today had been one of the worst of my life earlier, and now I'm chasing thrills. “If that question makes you pause, then I don’t think I’m getting the answer I want, am I?” Finn concludes with a wry grin, his hand lifting from my waist to gently stroke some red strands of tear-soaked hair from my cheek. In a whisper, I choke out, “The things I really want…have to wait, apparently.” “Why?”
Last Updated : 2024-06-01Resisting the Beta 21. Finn
Sparring was a fantastic idea. In principle. However, it was against two opponents. Naomi and my desperate, overarching need to just pull her to the floor and spread her legs. Obviously, I had not encountered this issue when wrestling the chunky Easton before now. Yanking Beta Tucker’s black braids did not hold the same deviant appeal as wrapping strands of cherry red hair through my fingers and guiding her lips to mine. I swear that red hair has done something unnatural to me. Why has Naomi spent so many years fitting in when she could have been tearing the fucking world up looking like this? Neverthless her punch to my throat showed she meant business. I get it completely. There is nothing like running yourself into the ground. Shredding every last bit of thinking to pieces, until you’re a blank slate again. A panting, tattered heap with every muscle burning. If that’s what my girl needs I’ll give it to her. I follow her outside into the small, grassy yard at the back
Last Updated : 2024-06-02Resisting the Beta 22. Naomi
I distinctly remember having firm concrete walls around my heart. I could proudly sit alone in my room and not worry or miss the presence of any man. Not even Adrian. I could always bring myself back. I don't think I'm safe anymore. I think I’m his. I want Rami to see Finn as someone to respect and look up to. Maybe call ourselves some kind of family. Except I don’t want to stay home and play Mama. Baking shitty cookies and tending to chickens. Finn isn’t going to want caging in either. His grip isn’t guiding me as firmly now. It’s all me, I’m pushing myself to the limits of what I can breathlessly endure before losing my mind. Every increasingly slick movement, the tension in his neck, it’s all driven by me. Finn loves me. Fuck I can’t believe he said it like that. His dirty words already had a dramatic effect on my body, what would his loving ones feel like? “Whatever you’re thinking about, don’t stop,” he growls, closing his eyes, brow creasing. “Goddess that is…how
Last Updated : 2024-06-03Resisting the Beta 23. Finn
I’m less than twenty four hours from seeing her again. I’ll be back by tonight, the Ceremony tomorrow. Fuck I hope her hair is still red. Not that I lasted seven weeks without her. Not even close. She laughed through her hands at the to see me back at my doorstep the same day I left her. Threatening to wake up Rami she pulled me inside and laughed into my chest. “Something funny Kharkov?” Until I lifted her up on the counter, standing between her legs, my mates’ irises lit up like sunflowers meeting the sky. Trying to sound gruff I added, “Don’t make me shut you up,” before yanking her hands away and pressing my lips to hers, fully aware of her blade snaking its way dangerously down my back until I lost another perfectly good leather belt. “You really don’t listen to plans, do you?” she giggled, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her legs already clamped around my waist. “You just do your own thing. Seven weeks we said!” “Maybe I just wanted to say goodbye properly
Last Updated : 2024-06-04Resisting the Beta 24. Naomi
Beta Rhett and Eleanor’s Ceremony is tomorrow. All the drills and training have left me tingling with energy. I need to show the pack I am back. However, the disaster in the town square with Beta Riley and poor Rami’s little button nose did not pass lightly. Despite Finn arriving that same night and whisking my blues away in a devious, maddening blur of grabbing, perfect devious embraces, the next morning, the truth still remained. In front of the entire square, I idiotically harmed my own child. /To be fair, Eleanor should have kept hold of his hand/ Impes complains, yet again. Sadly, all that counts is what the public saw. They saw me attack a man for no good reason and then, out of control, lash out and knock down my own child. /The public are a set of dickheads. We kept Phoebe’s secret at least./ Ramis poor little face puffed up like a choux bun after, his eyes black with bruises. The guilt ate away at me for days. When he cried for Finn I had no idea what to say. Phoeb
Last Updated : 2024-06-05Resisting the Beta 25. Finn
So desperate to get on the road to Cragstone I hadn’t been able to wait in Rising Star much longer. Not with the truth about Gustav, the treacherous human side and Leona burning away in my mind. It needs shouting from the fucking rooftops. Humans are the danger. We’re searching inside when the enemy is over the fence. Dancing over the border with their landmines and wolfsbane. Thinking of the war, the massacres, the men sacrificed to Alpha Phillipe’s insane plans I am more than happy to be hurled by catapult into their territory. Then shift and start tearing people up. It’s what I’m made for after all.But my men were missing. Nothing can move until the truth is spoken.I walked the castle ramparts, muttering “Come on, come on, come on,” until my patience wore out. Finally, with sunset approaching, Hayden and I set off looking for them. I tried to convince myself we would just run into them on the way and they’d laugh at my eagerness. But the route they were meant to travel back on
Last Updated : 2024-06-05Resisting the Beta 26. Naomi
He looks so sad, a wounded lion. Powerfully strong but reduced somehow. /You should have told him your bond can survive anything. That you love him!/ Impes reprimands. Well I’ve got to tell him Fate has plans for Rami to be an orphan first. But I have no idea who or what will cause it. Only that everyone around me seems to think instead of trusting Finn, I should be heading for the hills. What do they all see that I can't? Those grey eyes have a direct connection to my soul, his pain radiating outwards. Squeezing my arms a little tighter around his shoulders, my confession escapes. “You don’t want to know how many nights I’ve sat in this kitchen and hoped you’d appear.” His eyes light up, just a little, showering my skin with goose pimples. “You don’t know how many nights I sat on the quad and weighed it up. Wren think I’ve lost my mind.” I smile and stroke his strong jawline. His huge neck and shoulder muscles are at odds with the gentle, loving nature of his fe
Last Updated : 2024-06-06Resisting the Beta 27. Finn
Together with the still-healing Sawyer, we start knocking on the doors of the people assigned to set up the stages for tomorrow's Ceremony. By sunrise, the whole pack will know. Alpha Nikolai and Luna Genevieve of White Forest plus Luna Freya and Alpha Zeke of Rising Star will be here, too. Sketching out ideas for an attack. Dawdling, talking, wondering. It’s not quick enough. The humans torched a fucking Rising Star village. Invaded our fucking packhouse. They're mocking us. “I didn’t see anything! I just fetched the wood from the storage shed for the stage. Same as every month!” quivered a young trainee Beta. “Why are you asking this?” “We can’t say,” Sawyer answered firmly, looking a complete villain with that scabbed cuts to his face and bloodied shirt shirt. “But did you see anybody walking around? Anything unusual?” "Nothing. We brought out the wood, left it for the construction guys, and came home. We were done hours ago.” With that, we left. “Fuck’s sake. This i
Last Updated : 2024-06-07
Latest chapter
Resisting the Beta Epilogue Four
Naomi (Continued) “I meant to ask you something,” Finn murmurs sleepily as we watch yet another shooting star go by. “Did it bother you that we never had a ceremony?” “No…no it just never felt the right time, then we had been together so long it almost didn’t matter?” “It’s a shame. Your sisters had all promised to walk together.” “We did it for Matilda. If things had gone differently, we would have walked for Eleanor and Rhett, but it all broke apart. I'm just glad we all found happiness, even if it wasn't in the same town square.” “Did Sia give you an address for Eleanor?” “Yes but I left it alone in the end. She knows where we are. She’s made a choice a long time ago,” I whisper sadly, clutching my King’s hand tightly. I know every wrinkle and line in his muscular frame. I could make his replica out of clay in every pose. The feel of his body is a memory I constantly revisit. “I found my memory box the other day when we were packing,” I add. “I didn’t know you had o
Resisting the Beta Epilogue Three
Naomi It’s been fifty years since we took over as Alpha and Luna this full moon. Fifty years. Time has the cruellest ability to just vanish from underneath your feet. I swear I was a feisty, opinionated, quad-bike obsessed woman in her twenties just the other day. Now, creeping upon me like a riptide, I'm a content, slow-moving little fossil. I’m his girl, his Queen. He is my King. Now and forever. The quad-bike-revving beast of a man who only ever cares for us. I love the fact I’m still his girl even as time eats away at our vitality. My hair is no longer fiery red. I’ve conceded to grey. He insists it only makes my brown eyes all the prettier. I’d blush, except I love every word he says. I still find any opportunity to stand above him and bring my face to his, marvelling at the lack of wrinkles on his relaxed, still-boyish features. We’re currently down on the very south of the Shadowlands coast, in Finn’s old family home, left to him by his parents. I wonder if all o
Resisting the Beta Epilogue Two
*** SEVEN MONTHS LATER*** PHOEBE It is strange when the life you thought you always wanted lands in your lap. Except they don’t feed your soul. I lecture students on human and shifter history. An expert in my bitterly-learned field. The contrasting versions of events. The dangers of automatically believing the only side of the story you have access to. The fact history is always told from the side of the winner. I stride the corridors, my wedding band and bumblebee pendant permanently part of me. But it’s not enough. Jane and Wren are so incredibly kind. The hours I've spent talking through Huli and those momths with them have been cathartic. Even so, they know Rising Star isn’t what I want. Not without Sawyer. Of course, it would have been ungrateful to protest at Alpha Finn’s decision. Two people voted for me to die. Including my own sister. Alpha Finn saved me whilst yanking Sawyer away. It’s been seven months, yet every night, I lie awake. I think of the same mom
Resisting the Beta Epilogue One
*** 7 MONTHS LATER *** ALPHA FINN “Alpha!” That fake-serious, minx of a voice forces me to pause. Not ideal when halfway across the Jackson’s roof, retrieving Rami’s misplaced arrow. Again. Considering he is meant to be an archery prodigy, he seems to fire it up into that thatched cottage’s eaves with annoying regularity. “This is your fault, Luna!” I shout back, fully aware of her laughing from the packhouse. When she sends a bolt of seriously dirty thoughts across our bond, I almost put my foot into the chimney. Thankfully, Diane is with Beta Tucker again, straightening out his boredom-driven drinking via pure seduction. "IT WAS ME!” Rami adds with glee. Naomi innocently claims the practice targets Rami uses simply must face the Jackson’s cottage. I don’t argue. Not when my girl slinks around in dark bodysuits that leave my hands twitching to wrap around her waist. I have no arguments, only desires. Any argument she has formulating just vanishes away at the soun
Resisting the Beta 45. Phoebe
My mouth drops open, but there is nothing to say. Nikolai doesn’t suffer the same issue. “Now just fuck off a minute-” but Cillian doesn’t even flinch. Zeke and Freya step forward, their eyes wide with surprise. "You haven't discussed this with us?" “Look, my father was never born an Alpha. He rose. He proved himself. Calm in danger, braver than any of his peers. Any Shadowlands Alpha should follow the same route. I haven't. I've made it this far by the skin of my teeth. So I want you all to endorse and support and give your backing to Finn. Alpha Finn Penkov and his Luna, Naomi Kharkov of the Shadowlands.” The only person to make a sound is Rami, who starts clapping wildly and shouting “KING FINN! King Finn and Prince Rami! Haha, I'm in charge!!” He doesn’t seem to realise everyone else is in complete shock. He’s just thrilled his favourite person in the world is getting a promotion. And by default, in his eyes anyway, himself. “Do you accept?” Cillian says, not really givin
Resisting the Beta 44. Phoebe
The truck ride certainly gave me time to think. For one, I am eternally grateful Huli was no longer with me. I don’t miss having a wolf. The agony she would have been putting me through had she still held residence in my consciousness made me instinctively reach for my wrist. The only sign of that former life, one that could be years ago instead of just a few months, is a faint, grey scar on my wrist. It used to be so red and angry. Now, it has settled down to almost nothing. Genevieve picked up on it whilst she came to say goodbye. “I know you’re scared.” “I am. But only because it’s what I deserve.” “Well, if it helps, Nikolai and I are attending this meeting too. Cillian has asked for Rising Star as well.” "Oh." That absolutely does not help in any way. It only means Matilda will have even less influence. It makes me think Cillian is preparing to make an example of me. Genevieve has been kind enough to lend me a cornflower blue and white gown. Its swirling blue remi
Resisting the Beta 43. Sawyer
Nikolai explained, in a much more brutal and dickish way than was necessary, that we only got one night's stay at White Forest Castle. After all, he has sworn to help Alpha Cillian and Zeke, the pair of them bound in a trio of voting and veto. I don't care. We have each other right now. Every day seems to be swinging us to the extremes, and now we are just waiting for the biggest and hopefully final one to go our way. “I think we need to switch our brains off for a while,” Phoebe sighed, our brown dust-covered bodies flopping onto the bed of our small little room. “I can’t keep thinking about next week. It will drive me insane.” “Cillian could just exile us. Or maybe be so taken up in making Heath pay that we are nothing to him. Matilda will have an influence.” “I killed my mother and put him, Naomi and Finn into a trance. I stole a child…” “Not you. Your fucking wolf. You were just the vessel,” I sigh, too weary to go round the grisly roulette wheel. Phoebe rolls herself
Resisting the Beta 42. Phoebe
Clutching his silver goblet, our nameless, very-well rested hostage was almost chirpy, insisting he had a brother in law in the next town he could call on for a ride. But Sawyer shook his head when the time came to abandon him in the dark. “No…no it’s not right to take this. Can you drop us at the border? Keep the truck.” “From here, your nearest pack is Rising Star?” “That works just fine,” Sawyer replied. Walking through the night, keeping away from the towns and villages, Sawyer found us fresh water to drink, before killing and cooking a fish over a small fire. I’m probably endlessly naive, but to me, it was a perfect night. Because finally, there was not a single obstruction to just being with Sawyer. The man who patiently explained how you can catch a fish bare-handed. Explaining why he purposely ignored one section of the river, walking another mile upstream. I said nothing when he stripped to his underwear to stand in the shallows. I whooped and laughed instead when
Resisting the Beta 41. Sawyer
I felt Phoebe’s fear rise at the sight of Cillian. I saw a chance. Our opportunity to finally put things right. I just need him to listen to me instead of immediately heading to decapitation. His wolf's eyes were entirely golden, burning anger at the forefront of his intent. Cillian didn't even attempt diplomacy. No Shadowland envoys to King Heath, not even a personal visit to Bridgend to ask if there was truth in any rumours. He’s ended up straight here, shifted into wolf form, and shredded his way through at least twenty human men. What if this isn't the first prison he's tried? What will be the fallout from the Alpha's desperation? I couldn’t get Matilda’s cell unlocked in time. The heavy collection of black and silver keys was impossible to gauge. With the gag still in her mouth, Matilda wasn’t coming to our aid anytime soon. Plus, I know how it feels to be obliterated by wolfsbane. Sluggish, dopey. She might not even believe this is even real if they’ve really pum
