Chapter Four

*Tristian's POV*

I’d only known the girl like two months, but Haven has somehow captured my attention something fierce. She’s just unlike any other girl I’ve ever met. She's completely insane and yet makes so much sense at the same time. She makes me wanna tear my hair out and confess my undying love for her all at once.

She's kind of perfect.

I didn't think I'd feel this way about her. It's become so much more than about sex. Don't get me wrong, I still want nothing more than to make love to her. I wanted to be tangled in the sheets with her for hours on end while making her feel like she'd been to heaven and back.

But I also have real feelings for her. I wanted to hold her hand and buy her ice cream and kiss that adorable nose of her. I want to hold her in my arms and feel her heartbeat next to mine. I want to look into those honey eyes for eternity.

In other words, I got it bad. 

I was trying not to be too obvious about my feelings for her. A part of me didn't really care if Gabe knew, but I didn't want my grandma or her parents to find out, they'd flip. I think Haven knew. She's just in hardcore denial, because if she recognizes that I like her, she'll have to think about whether she likes me back, and I think she might.

Still, she's stuck in her little Christian bubble and she didn’t want anything to pop it. But I was willing to wait until she’s ready. That doesn’t make seeing her with Gabe any easier. They look great together on the outside, like they just go together. Gabe’s curly brown hair, hazel eyes, light skin and good build looked like it belonged with Haven. But I know it doesn’t. They aren’t meant to be together. I just know it.

I hated the way she's smiling at him right now. And the way she's kissing him. I noticed her looking over me, so I decided to give her something to look at her so she knows what she's missing. I took off my shirt. I know I'm in great shape. A lot of girls I slept with at my old school loved my body, so hopefully Haven is no exception. The way she’s practically drooling over me told me she wasn't.

I went back to washing the car, pretending I was no longer watching her, but out of the corner of my eye, I see her making way over to me. I hope I look as irresistible as I feel.

“H-hey,” Haven choked out. “Um, Gabe thinks you could use a little help, so he sent me over here. To help.”

“Cool,”  I said casually. “Grab a sponge and get the front for me, will ya?”

“S-sure," she stuttered.

She grabbed a sponge, looking relieved that she can actually look away from me. Am I really distracting her that much? If I am, I'm damn proud of myself. I see a few other girls looking over at me, but I don't care. Haven is the only girl's attention that I want.

I watched her wash the front of the car. Man, she's so hot. I wonder what she looks like in that bikini under her clothes. I think about what it would be like to slowly strip every article of clothing off of her until there's nothing. I wonder how her sweaty skin would feel gliding on mine as we make love passionately.

I didn't know how much longer I could go without having her. 

“So are you having fun?” Haven called. She seemed to have composed herself.

“Yeah, I guess,” I answered.

“So you're having fun at a church event. You're becoming one of us already.” Without looking I knew she was grinning.

“Oh, Haven, you and I both know that the reason I'm enjoying this has nothing to do with your Lord and Savior.”

“Oh yeah?” she asked. “Then why are you having so much fun?”

“It's a beautiful day and I'm helping people. I love helping people, if you must know.” We both know that’s not true, but I knew she wouldn’t say anything about me liking her.

“You know who else loved helping people? Jesus.” Haven stated as she dried off the car.

“Jesus also turned water into wine, which means he liked to party. So do I.”

“Are you trying say that you are similar to Jesus?” She asked.

“I'm saying Jesus and I have some similar qualities, which means I can’t be as bad as you think.”

“I don't think you're bad,” she said quickly “I just want you to be saved.” She leaned next to me on the car.

“Why do you care so much?” I asked.

“Because, Tristian, I care about…” she didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. I knew she was going to say that she cared about me. She just didn't want to admit it. “Everyone. I want everyone to be saved.”

“Grace was right. You are sweet like that.”

Haven smiled at me. “You think I'm sweet?” 

“Possibly the sweetest person I've ever met,” I answered honestly.

Her smile widened. “Thank you. That means more than you'll ever know.”

I felt the need to tell her more things that would make her smile. Like how beautiful she was and that her eyes are the most captivating things I'd ever experienced. Or how I wasn't a fan of Christianity, but I loved the way it made her. I wanted to kiss her right there in front of everyone and let them know that Haven Campbell meant more to me than God meant to them. 

I didn't know how I managed to stop myself from doing all of that. Everyone always said my self-control was horrible, but they’re mistaken.

“You guys gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna do some work?” Heath was standing in front of us, smiling.

“Um I put this whole thing together,”  Haven said, standing up straight. “I've done plenty of work.”

“Oh you're pulling that 'I organized this whole fundraiser so I’ve done enough work' thing again.”

“Yes I am, because once again I did organize this whole fundraiser and I've done so much work for it.”

“She has a good point,”  I said.

“Come on, Tristian, you're supposed to be on my side.” Heath groaned.

“Any other time I would be, but I think Haven deserves a little credit for putting all of this together.”

“Maybe you’re right. We should reward her shouldn't we?” He asked. In that instant I knew what he was going to do.

“Yes, we should.”

“What are you guys up to-ahhh!’ Haven screamed as I dumped a bucket of water over her head. I was shocked when her straight hair turned curly when hit with moisture. She looked even better now. 

"Tristian!" She shrieked before grabbing a hose and spraying me. I ran around the other side of the car and found a hose of my own. I crept around the other side and sprayed Haven’s back. She let out  a shrill scream. But before she could retaliate, Heath had dumped another bucket over her head.

Haven was now soaking wet. I could see her bikini through her shirt. Now this is what heaven looks like.

“I'm gonna kill you both!” She sprayed Heath right in the face.

“What are you guys doing?” Grace asked. Her timing was terrible. She got sprayed along with Heath. She shrieked even louder than Haven had. “HAVEN!”

She threw sudsy rags at her and then took the hose away and sprayed her back. By this point everyone else had joined in the water fight. There was laughter and yelling ringing through the parking lot. The only one who seemed to not be having any fun was Gabe. I may have sprayed him and ran away. 

I ducked behind a car and saw Haven there as well. “This is all your fault,” she punched me in the arm.

“Woah, aren't you Christians not supposed to be violent?” I laughed.

“Oh I'll make an exception to that rule for you.” She tried to punch me again, but I caught her hand.

“Are there any other rules you're willing to break for me?” I whispered. I didn't let her hand go.

She looked at me intensely. She bit her lip. I wanted to kiss her, but I knew anyone could see us. I didn’t want to put her in that position. Even though there were several others I'd love to put her in. I let her hand go.

“Let me know, okay?” I winked before leaving her there behind the car to think about whether or not she'd break any of her precious rules for me.

+++

"Do you miss Florida?" Haven asked, looking up from her painting homework.

"Not really. It's a disgusting damn state. Oh sorry." I apologized. It's so hard not to curse in front of her. She always winced when I did.

"It's fine. You don't miss your friends or anything?"

"I mean I guess. But I have new friends. You and Heath, the guys in Drawing, the guys I met in my Mechanics class."

"Well what about your family? Don't you miss them?" Haven questioned, her honey eyes looking at me intensely. 

I shook my head. "My family isn't really like yours. We're not that close or anything." I shrugged, getting increasingly nervous. Why was she asking all of these questions?

"Why did you move here again?"

"I told you, I needed a change."

"But why?" She pressed.

My skin felt prickled with heat as the nervousness completely overtook me. Did she know something? Had my grandma let something slip about what happened in Florida? No, there's no way. She wouldn't do that. Besides, Haven was still here. She's not looking at me in horror and utter disgust, she couldn't really know.

"Look, Haven...I wasn't...I wasn't happy in Florida and so my parents and I decided that coming to Rhode Island would be good for me. A change of scenery, a little religion, more nature. It's all just to make me a happier person."

I hated myself for lying to her, but I couldn't stand to see her face if she really knew what I did. Those gorgeous amber eyes would fill with disappointment and then repulsion. That furrowed brow would become harsh. Those perfect lips would sneer as her nostrils would flare. She would hate me.  I couldn't have that, so I could never tell her.

"Well are you happier now?" Haven asked, a ghost of a smile on her face. 

"Yeah I am. Much happier. I mean I get to hang out with you all the time, why wouldn't I be?" I grinned. 

A smile came across her beautiful face, making my massive lie worth it. What kind of piece of crap would I be to bring sadness to that face?

"I'm glad. I think I've been a little happier since you've come here too. I like this...connection we share."

I wanted to be so much more connected to her. Physically and emotionally. I wanted to know every little thought that entered her head and then make love to her until I was the only thing she could think of. I wanted to cuddle her afterwards and have her tell me her deepest secrets. But I could never share mine.

The thought tainted my mind. I could come to learn every single thing about her and yet she could never know everything about me. I hated that. 

I forced a smile to my face. "I like our connection too." I put my hand over hers, knowing I might be crossing a line, but I didn't care. "It's only going to get stronger from here."

She didn't move her hand from under mine. Her eyes met mine. "I hope so."