Chapter 4

I stepped out of my car and locked it properly before marching to my door. I was staring at him with narrowed eyes while he walks seriously toward me. As he was nearing, I muttered all the expletives I knew in my head. How on earth did he find where I live? Well, I realized it was no big deal because he’s a boss and has sources and ways. 

“What are you doing here?” I snapped. Yeah, that was rude. Honestly, I didn't know how to act in front of him considering it was only the two of us. It was different when we were at the meeting. I hid my real emotions back there because I didn't have a choice. 

He cleared his throat. His fingers were busy fixing his left long sleeve, rolling it up to his elbow without breaking his gaze with mine. The scent of his manly perfume invaded my nose and system immediately. His smell was still the same and because of that, a whole new wave of memories came flashing into my mind.

I knew I shouldn’t think of all our flashbacks and it was right not to think about them ever, but it was hard. It irked me and I could only cluck my tongue in exasperation.

“Can we talk?” Unlike his strong appearance when we were in a meeting, he was standing in front of me like the Denver that I knew before. His face softened and seemed pleading for me to give him time.

I fidgeted with my fingers, terribly nervous, but I did my best to collect my composure.

“Mr. Ford, if it’s all about business, you can drop an email to Miss Vera about your queries. Besides, it’s past my working hours,” I told him straight and I guess he wasn’t comfortable with me calling him formally. Truth be told, I knew that his visit had nothing to do with the business, but I didn't want to assume as well that he was around because of us. Lame but I shoved it away since I wasn't prepared to see him outside of my house.

“Ara, I’m happy that you’re doing well,” he steered away from what I said to tell me his opinion about my life. I frowned at him, not able to comprehend what he was trying to do. I was thinking that he just wanted to know that I lived well after he left me to chase his dreams. Maybe he felt guilty about it and he wanted to apologize for proper closure.

“Why does it concern you?” With knitted brows, I sneered. If he thought I would talk to him nicely, he’s wrong. We were not in the office anymore.

“Mr. Ford, I have no time for you beating on the bush,” Impatient, I turned around and was about to open my door but, “Ara, I missed you” He mumbled. I froze from my spot and seemed my system malfunctioned.

I bit my lip to hold my tears after hearing the sweet words from him. It was good to hear, however, he hurt me and I endured unbearable pain in the past. A simple I missed you couldn’t suffice for the heartbreak. I knew I shouldn’t get affected in front of him and to show him my soft side wasn’t in my vocabulary anymore.

“I’m sorry about me being away for so long. I hope you received my letters,” he apologized gently and if he continued to be like that, I couldn’t promise to not cry in front of him. I was in deep emotion.

“I heard you sell your house in HampStreet,” He kept his tone calm and was clearly curious why I sold the only property that my parents left for me. But because I had no plans of explaining to him, I stayed still and raised my brows in annoyance.

“I was trying to call you, but I couldn’t get through,” He continued when I did not utter even a single word back at him. He couldn’t get through with my digits because I cut communication with him and I had no plan of sharing my new number. "Did he think that after he prioritized his career over me, I will accept it wholeheartedly?"

I panted and threw a death glare at him. “Mr. Ford, it’s been four years. It already happened and all we need is to move on. And for you to know, I haven’t read even a piece of your letter. You chose to leave, so what changes it would make if I had read your letters?” I said as flawlessly as I could, although my nerves were getting weak. His rejection shattered me into million pieces, and the pain he imposed on me when I begged him to stay but he refused, couldn't be healed by just a mere piece of paper.

“Mr. Ford, I don’t need any apologies from you. You chased for your dreams and you did the right decision,” I smiled curtly and motioned at what it made him. He got surrounded by luxury and all the best that he could have.

“Ara, stop calling me by that name.” He wasn’t happy about it but I won’t call him on a first-name basis. I couldn’t. My tongue and my system didn't want to cooperate.

“Just pretend you don’t know me every time we cross paths,” I muttered with gritted teeth, trying my best not to burst my tears. 

“Baby, listen to me,” He was pleading. If we were on good terms, I would probably melt at his endearment, but we’re not. And him calling me by that again puzzled me greatly. “Is he still single? Am I not assuming things? Is he still into me after everything that happened between us, and following what he has become?” The questions flashed in my mind.

“Will you stop?” I blurted sternly. To halt him from attacking me with his sweet words was a must because I might give in. After he crushed my heart, I couldn’t trust him again.

Cranky, I smirked. “Mr. Ford, you’ve already wasted so much of my time.” All I wanted was to end our conversation because we have nothing to talk about us anymore.

“We are done!” I reiterated with emphasis on my words. I reminded him of that painful moment when he turned his back on me. Crazy, but he also ended that happy relationship that we had.

“We are not!” he responded with conviction, and my mind was on haywire, trying to decipher his intention.

“Does he want us to be together again?” I felt dizzy at the thought.

“Ara, I promise to make it up to you,” he pledged, but it did not convince me at all. He knew I don’t believe in promises, but he kept on saying it to me. Bizarre!

“I promise we’ll end up together,” He tried to touch me, but I took a few steps back. I shouldn’t let him because I didn’t want to feel that radiation against his skin. Not again. Not again because I didn’t want to show any hint that he still has that effect on me. I thought after many years, I already scratched him out of my heart, but I was wrong. 

“Stop!” I motioned for him to not dare step closer. “Sorry, but I’m contented living my life alone. I don’t need you to make me happy. I used to live this way, with no expectations from anyone. With this, no one could ever break my heart or betray my trust again,” I told him frankly like there was acid in my tone. 

He frowned at me like he couldn’t believe how those four years made me stubborn. I knew I looked at things from a different perspective after suffering unbearable pain, but no one could blame me. My experiences made my heart cold and sturdy like a stone. Bravely, after looking at his eyes, I saw sadness even if he nodded at me.

***

Our confrontation made me lose my appetite, the reason I wasn’t able to finish my food. His comeback to Harrisburg bothered my serene life alarmingly. We shouldn’t talk like that again because I’m afraid he could corner me the next time and lose my guard.

I couldn’t deny that his charms can manipulate people and his smile could win hearts in a blink of an eye. But I shouldn’t allow him to capture my heart again for my sake. I had learned my lessons, and I need to protect my heart from the pain that he could impose on me again.

I couldn’t forget the look on his face when I closed my door right in front of him. His powerful aura did not fit with the disappointment that plastered on his appearance because of my refusal. Well, it was nothing compared to the pain I suffered because of him.

I went to my mini balcony and lit a stick of my cigarette. At rock bottom, I never thought of self-destruction but I tried smoking cigarettes. I got to read that Nicotine could stimulate the release of the chemical dopamine in the brain that would involve triggering positive feelings. I only smoke when I’m agitated or anxious, but I never tried taking drugs because I’m sane enough to know that it could ruin my life completely.

I promised myself to stop smoking, but I had an excuse. I needed a portal to let out my emotion because I felt restless and Denver troubled my peaceful mind. 

“How could he say we were not done after he left me?” I was doing fine moving on, but suddenly, he came back telling me he wanted us to be together again. Insane!

“He’s making my life harder,” I muttered in annoyance.

After doing my night routine, I prepped to go to bed. But before I could switch off the light, my phone beeped.

“Good night and see you tomorrow - Denver,” I creased my brows. I got puzzled about who gave him my digits. “Does it mean he’s eager to get me back because he’s doing all the ways he could?” I couldn’t stop asking myself. 

I did not bother to reply because I don't want any means of communication between us. He never put me a priority, instead broke my heart, so there’s no assurance that he won’t hurt me again in the future. I would only fool myself if I give him a chance. The agony I suffered wasn't that simple.

The next day, I woke up sleepy because it took me long hours before slumber knocked me down. I hate Denver because he kept on running in my mind even if I tried hard not to think of him. “What is he doing to me?” I sighed.

“Morning,” he sent me another before I even opened my eyes. When I traced the time, I couldn’t believe he was already up at 4 am. I thought maybe that’s how business people manage their time, one reason they’re successful.

As I continued scrolling my device to check some news, something caught my attention. I clicked the link to make sure I’m not mistaken. Damn! my heart constricted at the confirmation.