3

Recurring Dreams

Elinor stirred awake, face slumped against a pillow, as she blindly reaches for her bedroom windows handle. When her hand felt the glass, she gave it a little push just enough for the fresh air to enter and replace the humid air of her room. She laid on her back, eyes still shut, feeling the night breeze cooling her damp skin.

She woke up bathing with her own sweat as she forgot to leave her window ajar again for the nth time.

She lay there still as a rock, trying so hard to maintain her drowsiness and go back to sleep again. It is too early, she thought. She could even hear Glinda’s snores downstairs.

The gentle air that rustles the leaves of tall trees that surrounds their house lulled her back to sleep. But about a couple of minutes in, she realized she is about to have another one of those vivid dreams. Those dreams where everything seems surreal but she is fully aware that what she sees is not real.

Elinor could not count the times she’s had a dream like this one. And every time, she always finds herself standing on top of a hill, overlooking a clearing of a forest. As always, the moon in her dream was in its fullest form, and not a single supernatural beings are about except for this one lonely-looking werewolf who sits at the center of the clearing, bloody eyes directed at the full moon.

The wolf howled as the full moon showed itself from the clouds that cover it. Like a distant memory she had been constantly reminded of, Elinor guessed the exact moment the lone werewolf would howl. Again, it howls four times.

As much as Elinor wants to go downhill and closely watch the wolf, she cannot move her feet. Like her previous state, she is stuck there, literally rooted to the ground. Daffodils are growing right through the skin of her feet.

She listened to the howling wolf who seemed to be in so much pain. The sound of someone who got betrayed, someone who is deeply wounded, is what she can construe of its scream.

There is just something about this dream that she could not really understand. The dream was so vivid, yet by the time she awakes, she could hardly explain the details of it, only the fragments remain stuck in her mind—the full moon, a werewolf, a flower.

She had been dreaming of it very often, yet why can’t she memorize it like the back of her hand?

Elinor finally woke up. The sun is just beginning to descend which is still a bit too early for her. She was freezing from the wind that had gone very cold, the hairs stood up on the back of her neck, and her teeth chattered. She went into a sitting position and aim to shut her window that is now wide open all the while yawning and shaking from the chills she got from the last gust of wind before she finally closes her window.

The dream was almost completely out of her mind, but she catches it before her mind entirely erases it fast. She’s had it again. It was the third time this week that she dreamed of the wolf. And again, she woke up in a daze, trying to make some sense of the fragments left of the recurring dream.

Ah, this is getting bothersome, Elinor murmured to herself.

She tried to recall the exact order of her dream, but it only made her frustrated for she could not, for the life of her, remember the dream despite great effort.

The dream is just like a word that sits on the tip of her tongue she could only get so close to guessing it but could never exactly figure it out.

Ah, to hell with it. Maybe I should start sleeping with a pen and paper in hand. Or maybe I should learn to write whilst dreaming as well. The impatient voice inside her head sarcastically suggested. Elinor could only exhale through her nose.

Elinor changed into a yellow dress and went downstairs to find Glinda, her mum, making herself some tea in their humble kitchen that was lit by yellow lamps and filled with green plants that crawls in the cream-colored walls. Elinor’s eyes were quick to spot a basket filled with foods that Elinor estimated to last up to three days.

“Mum? What’s that basket for? You going somewhere?” Elinor fired questions. She walked toward her mother who was now sipping on a thistle teacup that had fancy and elegant imprints of rosemary and red berries on its center.

“Ah, yes. But fret not, I won’t be long.” Her mum replied, gracefully placing the teacup on its saucer that is just as fancy as the cup.

“How long exactly? I can see that you are bringing food with you. You never bring a basket of food with you, Ma.”

It was not the first time her mum was out somewhere in the village. In fact, in the past few weeks, Glinda had left the cabin a couple of times, which is something new for Elinor. However, her mum would always return in no time. This time, however, Elinor guessed, her mother would take one day or more before her return.

“Ah yes, but I’d only be gone for a day. You know, Tatiana called for me. She’s going out of town, I mean, we’re going out of town. She wants me to go with her. Who am I to refuse such an offer?” Her mum explained, laughing softly. Elinor could tell the excitement in Glinda’s voice. Her mum and Tatiana would probably be looking at the newest collection of teacups since both of them are quite fond of it. In fact, Glinda had a huge drawer filled with teacup sets placed in their living room.

Tatiana is their Luna. And it is known to Elinor that the woman was indeed a good friend of Glinda. Elinor remembers the plenty of times Tatiana would come to visit their cabin, always with a gift in her hand.

She was known to visit out of town every now and then, probably shopping for anything that appeals to her eyes. The woman was quite fond of Elinor, too. She has been sending her presents, which are mostly books, much to Elinor’s delight.

But one thing seems strange. Her mum never left the house this often, let alone be gone for a day, leaving Elinor by herself.

Now that she thinks of it, this is the first time she’s left alone in their cabin.

Elinor doesn’t know how to feel about it. Though she is not upset, nor was she glad. Things are changing, of that she is certain. Glinda had become less protective of her. Yesterday, and the day before that, Glinda bought her new clothes she could wear outside during day time. Her mum used to tag along, never letting her take walks alone, but the last time she asked to go outside and read, Glinda only advised her to never wander too far distance.

Elinor figured that maybe things are changing, and maybe she was just in the process of adjusting to the new rules.

“You’re leaving me alone for the first time,” Elinor stated.

“Oh, dear. These past weeks, I just realized that I should be more… permissive of you. Look at you, you’re about to turn seventeen next month. You should no longer lock yourself in your room and spent plenty of your time reading.” Glinda uttered. To Elinor, her mother sounds nothing like she once did before.

It’s not that her mother had been very strict with her to a point that she does not have any freedom to do things she enjoyed at all. She was just against Elinor being left all alone, especially in the outdoors.

To make the long story short, Glinda was very protective of her. Her safety is Glinda’s number one concern, and Elinor was by no means against it. She totally understands why Glinda would suggest she stay inside their house.

And honestly, Elinor does not like the outdoors that much. She was not the adventurer type of person. She is more of a reclusive type and enjoys more without the company of others. All those years, she became used to staying inside, doing cooking lessons, and reading books. It’s her own way of having fun.

“I have been guilty. I think I’ve wronged you somehow.” Glinda added, frowning as she sips her tea.

“Wronged me? In what way, Ma?” she asked, a chuckle escaping her lips as she took the seat opposite from her mother. She crossed her arms and looks at Glinda who was finishing her tea and was also looking right at her.

“You have not made a single friend. Oh, you poor soul.” Glinda said which made Elinor chortle.

“I have Bonnie.” Elinor corrected. Her mother must have forgotten about her old friend who, just like her, was very introverted. This has not been the first time her mother forgot her only friend, Bonnie. She cannot blame her mother though; Bonnie is such a wallflower.

Her mother’s eyes widen with realization, “Right. Bonnie. That friend of yours had never spoken a word to me.” Elinor laughed.

“Still, you have to meet more people. You can drag Bonnie with you, that kid had no social life. The two of you should go out there and live a little.” Her mother further added.

“Is this your way for me to find my mate?” Elinor could no longer hold herself from asking.

“Yes, Elinor. Soon, you’ll be at the right age to marry. I want to see you out there with friends, laughing, and having the best time, and not here where you do the same monotonous routine of eating, reading, and sleeping. I reckon you must have found your life in this house dull and tiring.” Glinda said.

Elinor leaned back, letting the words of her mother sinks in. However, Elinor presumed that Glinda was projecting what seemed to be her view of life. What Glinda had just said, Elinor believed it was not directed to her for she never finds her life in this cabin dull. Or does she?

But your mother does find it dull. A small voice in her head whispered. Elinor totally understands. She may not find her life in the cabin as wearisome but to her mum? Elinor does not know for sure. Instead of pointing it out, Elinor just let out a smile and decided to take her mother’s advice to go out and socialize.

Fine. I guess it is about time to step out of my comfort zone.

Later that night, Elinor walked Glinda to their entrance. She handed the basket to her mother and kissed her left cheek goodbye. “I shall return tomorrow night,” said Glinda. Elinor nodded with a small smile on her lips.

Glinda turned and started walking into the dark pathways lined by tall trees, the lamp on her hand glowed a bright yellow light that illuminated the dark.

Elinor stood beside their entrance, her eyes fixed on Glinda’s cloaked figure until it became very small, and the light from her lamp become very faint.

She sauntered back to their house. Now left alone for the first time, Elinor realized that her mother may have knocked some sense out of her fogged brain, that has been so used to her daily routine. She stood at their doorway and scanned the room.

Somehow, it doesn’t look the same, but it is not different as well. Looking at every corner of their house reminds her of the days of her childhood. More so, it reminds her of the routine she had ever since. She had gotten so used to it that she no longer want to try something new. That she may have lived denying the fact that she wants to explore the outside.

Do you want to spend your life doing the same mind-numbing routine? Elinor shakes her head in disapproval.

Mother was right. The life I had was indeed dull. Elinor thought to herself as everything slowly dawned on her.

Much like the recurring dream she had. Nothing was new. It followed the same, old pattern and repeat itself over and over again. And the small part of her refused to live on a never-ending loop.

At that moment, Elinor just realized how much she wanted things to change.